Chapter Nine

"Welcome back, everyone. I'm so pleased so far with everyone's progress. Harry." Harry looked up at Laurel, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Tell me about your relationship with Dumbledore." Harry seemed surprised at the question, but he ultimately shrugged.

"He was the Headmaster of Hogwarts. He kept us all safe until he couldn't. He was really, really powerful."

"Generalisations, Harry."

"Right. Sorry. He was like… the grandfather I never had, I guess? He was wise, he helped me when he could and when I needed it. He protected me from Voldemort in my fifth year, at the Ministry, when that could have easily been it for me. He always reminded me that I wasn't alone – which helped because, believe me, Voldemort wanted to make sure I was isolated from everybody. But then… I realised that a lot of that was just to keep me close and alive until I could face Voldemort and die." Utter silence was met with Harry's words. Draco broke it in his shock.

"Wait, Potter, sorry Laurel – Harry. Wasn't that was just a myth? When that barmy gamekeeper brought you from the forest, you were playing dead."

"I was playing dead." Harry affirmed, watching the confusion overtake Draco's face.

"So then you were alive."

"I was."

"Stop being obtuse, Harry."

"When I went into the Forbidden Forest, and Voldemort pointed his wand at me and said the Killing Curse, I dropped my – your – wand back into my pocket. I was unarmed. For the last of the Horcruxes to be destroyed and to finally have Voldemort vulnerable, I had to die. Which meant that I couldn't fight back. So, he killed me. But I was given a choice to come back. So I did."

"You were a Horcrux?"

"Yes. But I didn't realise until the very last minute. Which I suppose was what Dumbledore wanted. He wouldn't have wanted me to find out too early, and back out because I wanted to live." Harry's voice was bitter.

"So he groomed you. Like a pig for slaughter." Draco's voice held no inflection at all. Harry seemed shaken by Draco's choice of words.

"Yes… that's exactly what Snape said. How he described it."

"What does our Potions teacher have to do with this?" Draco wondered.

"He loved my mother. He played spy for Dumbledore to protect her, and when she died, Dumbledore continued to have him spy to protect me, keep me alive. He did it for her. And he died for it. Dumbledore used him, too."

"Did that make you angry, Harry?" Laurel asked.

"Not at first, no. Ron, Hermione and I knew that the Horcruxes had to be destroyed. When I found out I was a Horcrux, it was during the Battle of Hogwarts. We were losing. Badly. I had no choice but to go into the Forbidden Forest, like he wanted. Voldemort had to die. I knew all of that, so I wasn't angry at the time. Too much was happening. But after… I was so unbelievably angry. Dumbledore was gone, and to me that was a coward's way out. I was a kid. Just a kid, and yet Dumbledore started all of this. Telling me things about Voldemort, showing me things about him in the Pensieve. He did all of this, knowing that I would eventually have to die."

"You didn't know that you would be given a choice to come back, did you?" Ginny asked him.

"No. I didn't. It was so scary. I regretted not saying goodbye to any of you. But I knew if I did, you wouldn't let me go and I wouldn't want to go. Or, you would come with me, and I needed to do that on my own, because if you came with me, he would just kill you. He was scared, hurt. That made him extremely volatile. That's why I didn't say goodbye. I couldn't. It was Dumbledore's fault. He knew I wouldn't be able to abandon people who were in need. He capitalised on that. Right from the moment I was born, Dumbledore knew I would have to sacrifice myself. It makes it so hard to look at his portrait and not yell at him, whenever I have to go there for the memorial. It makes me wonder how he was even able to talk to me, give me the time of day, knowing that I would just vanish," Harry snapped his fingers. "To him, I was ultimately expendable. But while I was in school, he made me feel happy and wanted… it's confusing. Makes it seem like it was an act."

"What was an act?"

"Every time he was nice to me, gave me guidance. It was only to further his own agenda." Harry muttered.

"I know what that's like." Draco scoffed.

"Yeah you would, wouldn't you?" Harry muttered, but there was no malice there. It was just a statement of fact.

"Both of us had our lives determined before we could even talk." Draco said, his tone dry.

"I didn't realise how much control Dumbledore had over my life until I was walking into that forest. In my eyes, that doesn't make him any better than Voldemort." Harry slumped in his seat, making it clear that he wasn't going to say anything further.

"It is very difficult. When you look up to somebody, and they betray that trust. We all know that can be crushing. Because you trust them to take care of you, give you guidance, you place so much into these role models. In doing that you give them some kind of control. You are in their hands. And that can lead to abuse. So my question to end off this session is: who have you placed trust in throughout your lives? How did these people abuse that trust? See you next week, everybody."

A/N: Oh my goodness, the reviews! Thanks, everybody - also, new followers and favourites! This is so exciting!

Replies to Reviews:

TraptWolf94: I don't know if the reason for Astoria's absence will be a good enough one, really. I'm glad that you're liking my fic!

manitou2422: I'm glad that you're appreciating the way my fic is developing! I am, too. I'm surprised by it, really.

TheNameIsNym: Thanks for pointing it out! I'm usually pretty good with catching the typos but I can't catch 'em all, can I? Thanks, I like where it's going, too!

LemonyCreams: Yeah well it is a pain, and it puts them in pain, too, sometimes. But it seems to be working for them, because ultimately they're willing to work through their issues.

pianomouse: Yeah - to me, Draco's and Hermione's issues are the biggest, because they are so intertwined, and because Draco is in part the reason for the issues she has in the first place. So it's really difficult for both of them.