Addison jumped in her car and drove as quickly as she could. She was worried. Derek was broke. Beyond repair. She hated to say that, to admit it, but it was true. She had no idea what she could do to make him better. To repair the damage that he had done. That Meredith had done. Damage. Derek brought a new meaning to that word. She had no idea what she was going to say. She did know one thing. She had to save him from himself.

Addison spotted Derek's black Denali in the parking lot of the Tea Leaf coffee shop. She didn't know what he drove, but considering it was the only car in the lot at the moment, she knew it had to be him. She pulled right up next to him and glanced in the window. He was slumped over, his body shaking from his sobs. She quickly jumped out and opened the door, climbing into the passenger's seat.

"Oh Derek..." She said softly as she rubbed his back. It hurt. She had never seen him like that. They had known each other for years. Mark was like a brother to them both. They had all grown up together. And she had never seen him in so much pain.

"I'm sorry, Addie. I shouldn't have called you." Derek said as he sat up and rubbed his face.

"No, Derek. I'm glad you did." Addison said honestly. "I'm really glad you did."

"I need to get over it, right? It's been a long time. I know that. It's just-" He said as more tears welled up. Derek is a strong man. A formidable man. Not a man who cries. And definitely not a man who cries in front of someone.

"She was the love of your life..." Addison said sadly. It was true. She knew how Derek and Meredith felt about each other. It was deep. Deeper than anything she had encountered. Deeper than the love she felt for her own husband.

"Yeah..." He trailed as he stared out the window. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were going to get married. Have kids. The white picket fence. We were going to have it all. It's gone. All gone. I can't get it back. And I can't move forward. I just can't. And I don't want to." He said frankly as he glanced at her.

"Derek, she's gone. I know you don't want to, but you need to move on. I know Meredith, she wouldn't want this. She would be so pissed at you right now." Addison told him truthfully as she rubbed his back.

"She would... She'd tell me I was pathetic." Derek said with a chuckle.

"Yes, she would." Addison agreed.

"I can't get over it. It was my fault. If I weren't driving, she's be here. She wouldn't be-- What kind of person am I? A bastard. An asshole. Fucking worthless. I couldn't even hold her hand as she took her last breath..." He trailed off.

"Sir, I need you to get in the ambulance." The paramedic said as she looked at Derek. He was in distress. His arm, dangling.

"I can't...she..." Derek muttered as he stared at the light disappearing in the distance.

"We'll follow. But we have to go now." Derek looked at her. She was right. He didn't have a car. He looked over the the Corvette. A tiny, tangled mess of metal.

"Please?" She asked softly. Derek nodded as they quickly rushed to the ambulance. They began taking his pressure and looked at his arm. He couldn't focus. They poked and prodded. All her could think of was her. He was in a daze.

"She'll be okay, right?" Derek asked, praying this woman would give him even the tiniest ray of hope.

"I hope so." She said as she looked at the large cut on his face. "You're arm." She said as she looked down.

"It's okay." He shrugged it off. "I'm starting medical school in a month. I want to be a doctor...and she's..." He trailed off as he willed them to hurry. They needed to hurry.

The doors flew open when they pulled up to Mercy General hospital. Derek looked around for her. Where was she? He didn't care he was finding out. And anyone who got in his way was getting flattened. He rushed into the emergency room, looking for the trauma area. He rushed through the double door, people screaming at him to stop.

His heart stopped. He heard them. "She went down three times." They said loudly. "Her pressure keeps spiking." He looked in. What he saw was a shock. "She's a goner. No way will she make it through this." It took his breath away. His heart quit beating. A bloody, broken mess laid on the gurney. "She's not breathing." She was not Meredith. He couldn't see Meredith. Not under the blood.

"Sir!" You need to get out of here a doctor yelled as they worked on her. He felt someone pull him back.

"She's my girlfriend. I love her..." He cried as he watched.

"Your arm!" She yelled as she looked down. "We need help over here." She said as she looked for someone.

Derek was in a daze. They gave him pain killers as they worked on his arm. It didn't matter. He couldn't feel anything. The pain in his heart was far worst than any physical pain he could ever feel. He looked down as they began to cast him. Her smile. Her smile was in his head. Then a flash of blood turned up. A bloody nose. Bloody face. Broken.

"Is she alright?" Derek asked as he saw a familiar paramedic walk by.

"She was just smashed by a truck. Do you think she is?" He snapped as he walked off. Derek felt a sickness in his stomach. A knotting. A dread. He sat there on the gurney as the intern walked away and then back.

"I thought you'd like to know, they took her into surgery," The doctor told him softly.

"For what?" He asked in shock.

"Her heart, I think. I don't know much, sorry." She said with a sad shrug. "I'm done here. Why don't you go to the waiting area?" She said as she led him there.

"Thank you..." He muttered as he stared off. Surgery. She walked away. Her heart. Surgery. Blood. Surgery. It felt like time had stopped. Suffering began.

"What happened?" Ellis screamed as she ran through the doors with Richard as she spotted Derek.

"There--- There was an--accident." He stammered as he looked into her cold eyes. "She's in surgery." Ellis cried out as she ran into the back. For the first time in a long time she had been off work. Richard rushed over to Derek.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he looked at his face and arm.

"I-- She's bloody. Her heart..." Derek muttered staring off.

"It's not your fault, Derek." Richard said softly.

Derek could hear Ellis screaming. She had gone mad. She was losing her mind. He had never seen that woman scared. She was terrified. They finally dragged her out of the back. No family. She had to stay out. Great.

"What did you do to her?" Ellis said loudly as she stared at Derek.

"I don't know. The glass. The car flipped. She was bleeding." That was all he could get out. Her face flashed into his head again.

Hours. Hours. Hours. That's how long they sat there. Ellis glared. She yelled. She cried. They all sat there. Nothing could be done. They couldn't help her. It was up to the team of doctors that were in the OR. It was in someone else's hands now. Hours. Too long. Hours. Suffering. Hours.

Finally a surgeon came out. He was still in his scrubs. His bloody scrubs. Derek looked up in shock. It was her blood. It was a lot of blood. His face was grim. Was she dead? Was she alive?

"I'm Dr. Flannigan." He said with a faint smile as he walked up to Derek and Richard. "Ellis." He nodded professionally.

"How is she?" Richard asked quickly.

"She made it through the surgery. She had a traumatic aortic disruption. We repaired that. You should know, 20-30 of patients will die in the first six hours, 40-50 in the first 24 hours and 60-80 in the first week." He said bluntly. Ellis began to cry loudly. It was nothing she didn't already know.

"Oh my god..." Richard said in shock. Derek stood there in a panic induced silence.

"She has a lateral compression fracture to her pelvis, broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, a broken jaw..." He went on. They almost quit listening. It was too much. Too many injuries. "The chances of survival are...She is unable to breathe on her own. We need your consent for a breathing tube. She needs to be on life support... But, I...she has a lot of injuries...the chances. They aren't great. They are next to none." He told Ellis frankly. Derek stared. What was he saying? Was she going to die? What was going on?

Everything became a blur. Everything meshed. Life blended. Hours blended into days, and days into weeks. She made it. Against all odds, she made it. She wasn't breathing on her own. But she was alive. Her brain function was nothing. A vegetable. That's what they called her. But in Derek's eyes, she was alive. There was still hope.

Ellis couldn't look at him. According to her, it was his fault. He killed her baby. Richard allowed him to stay. The tension between Richard and Ellis was high. Derek held her hand. He didn't leave. Eat and shower. That was it. He held her hand. Tried to. Her body was broken. She was broken. But no matter what, he wasn't giving up hope. She still had a chance. She was still in there. He didn't care what they said.

It was a sunny day. Derek opened the shades and let the sun in the room. Meredith loved the sun. and he knew she needed it. He watched the warm light fall on her bruised face. Still no movement. No sounds. But she was in there. He knew it.

"Derek?" Richard said as he walked in the room.

"She's in there." Derek muttered, not looking away from her.

"Derek..." Richard said with a faint smile.

"I swear she smiled..." It was a lie, but they were giving up hope.

"Derek..." Richard said as he looked Derek in the eyes. "We've decided...we're going to take her off of the life support. She wouldn't want to live like this. We're going to pull the plug..."

"I should have-- The funeral. I didn't even go to her funeral." Derek said as he stared off. "Maybe..." He said, holding on to hope

"Derek...she's...she's gone. There was no way. She was... I'm sorry." Addison said as she held his hand. "She loved you. She loves you. I am sure she's always with you." Addison said softly. "Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to her."

"I need to go to New Hampshire. I need to see it." He said as he looked into her eyes. "I need to see that she's really there. In the ground."

"We'll go. You and I. We'll go." She said with a faint smile. He nodded. He wasn't fixed. But it felt better talking. He needed to talk.

-------------

Derek walked into Mercy-West. His surgery was scheduled for an hour ago. He hadn't realized how much time had gone by sitting in his car. He really didn't care, he was one of the top neurosurgeons in the country. He would do whatever the hell he wanted. Besides, he never leaves the hospital.

"Dr. Shepherd, just where the hell have you been?" Dr. Alico, his Chief of Surgery asked as he walked up.

"I had something." Derek muttered as he continued on his way.

"Oh, you had something? Well I'm sure you patient will understand. I mean who cares that you are an hour late for surgery. Oh and the wasted time that the OR was empty, no big deal, we have so many spares. You are treading on thin ice here..." Dr. Alico spat as he stopped him.

"When have I ever been late?" Derek asked as he gave the old man an icy glare.

"That is not the point. You were unreachable. You are an employee at this hospital. I don't care how damn good you are, you are replaceable. There are med students graduating everyday..." Dr. Alico said coldly as looked at him. "Don't let it happen again." He said as he turned on his heel and walked off.

Derek shook his head and continued on his way. He didn't care. what did he have to lose? He had lost it all already. There was nothing left. He had his intern prep his patient and he changed into his scrubs and met them in the OR. He wasn't focused on his work. And quite honestly, he was good enough that he didn't have to. The talk with Addison kept flashing in his head. Strangely enough, it made him feel better. Not great, not good. Just above the most extreme pain you can feel. She was right, he needed to see the grave. He needed to accept it. He didn't want to. But maybe if he saw it, he could handle it. He could make it through. But then again, he would have to come to the realization that Meredith wasn't really alive, and he really was in fact, losing his mind.

--------------

"I am truly impressed by your work, Dr. Grey." Dr. de Gaulle said as he scrubbed his hands. Meredith stood beside him using her side of the sink.

"Thanks." She muttered as she kept scrubbing.

"You are the most professional resident I have worked with." He said again as he looked over at her.

"I appreciate that." Meredith said as she grabbed the paper towels and walked out.

"What was that?" Kent Mather asked as he followed her like a puppy.

"What was what?" Meredith said loudly as she continued on her way.

"de Gaulle. He doesn't do that." Kent said as he followed alongside her.

"Do what?" She asked as she grabbed a chart and started reading it.

"Be civil. Flatter. He's an ass. Hardcore. He doesn't do that..." Kent said as he stood there. "He wants in your pants..."

"Excuse me?" Meredith said as she glared at him.

"He does." Kent said with a shrug.

"First of all, no. And secondly, you have work. Rectals, actually." She said with a smile as she handed him the charts. "And keep and eye on our patient." He walked away with his head down. There was no arguing with her.

"That's why they call you resident bitch." Kristy laughed as she looked up.

"Yeah, I know." Meredith agreed as she kept on examining her charts. "I hate interns."

"Most residents do." Kristy returned with a smile.

"Feel free to use him as you wish." Meredith told her quickly.

"Now that is an offer..." She smiled. "So, are you going to come to Joe's tonight?" She asked with a cheesy grin.

"I don't think so." Meredith said as she began scribbling.

"It would be fun." Kristy replied, trying to butter her up.

"I don't do fun." Meredith told her without looking up.

"Sure you do..." Kristy said happily.

"Leaving." Meredith said as she walked away.

"He's right... He never compliments...ever!" She shouted down to Meredith, who shook her head.

Meredith shoved her things in her locker. Maybe she should go to Joe's, the bar across the street. Not to have fun. Not to have a good time. Just to do her favorite pastime, tequila sampling. It's not as if she had anyone to go home to anyway.

Meredith walked across the busy street and into the tiny bar. The small bell on the door made a faint ding as she opened the door and walked in. It was a typical bar. There were several people in there, some playing darts, some conversing and some drowning their pain. That's what she wanted to do, drown her pain. She was relieved to see that Kristy wasn't there. She had gotten off much later than her, and she had probably already left.

"What can I get you?" The bartender said as Meredith sat on a stool in the back.

"Tequila." Meredith said as she looked him in the eyes.

"Ouch." He said as he poured the liquid into the glass. "You'll regret it."

"We're old friends." She said as she tossed it back. "Keep em' coming." She said with a smile. "By the end, I'll need a cab." She told him.

"No problem. I've never seen you in here before. You from Grace?" He asked as he poured another shot.

"Yep." She said frankly as she slammed another one. "And leave the glasses, I like to build." She said as she flipped them.

"Can do. Joe." He said as he stuck out his hand.

"Meredith." She said as she shook it.

Meredith heard someone yell for Joe, and he nodded as he walked away. She sat there looking at the full shot glass in front of her. Why did it have to come to this? Why did it have to happen this way? Joe walked over to her end of the bar several times and refilled her glasses. This was how it went. One drink at a time. Everything began to fill loose. A little fuzzy. A little less painful.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A man asked as he sat on the stool next to her.

"I don't know, can you?" She asked as she looked over at the young blond.

"I think I can." He said with a smile and a nod to Joe. Joe filled a glass and pushed it over. She quickly slammed the shot back and flipped her glass.

"Was it worth it?" She asked as she glanced over at him.

"To watch you drink? Yes. But I think it may be even more worth it later..." He said with as smiled as he looked at an inebriated Meredith.

"That may be..." She said quickly as she continued to build with her shot glasses.

"So what's your story?" He asked as he sipped his martini.

"I have no story. My pages were torn out a long time ago..." She said as she glanced over.

"Perfect." He said with a laugh.

Derek climbed in his car, leaving Mercy-West. It was late. It was late and Kristy was supposed to be working a twenty four hour shift. He was going home tonight. Sleeping in his bed without her. It was like a treat. As close to a treat as he could get anymore. He slowly drove by a small bar. Emerald City. Why not? He pulled into the lot. A scotch sounded good. Being poured by someone else. Even better.

Derek looked around the busy bar. It was packed. But he didn't care. Maybe no one would notice him. He grabbed a table in the far back corner. He wasn't looking around. He wasn't making eye contact. He was here to to drink. And he wanted to be alone.

"What can I get you?" Joe asked as he walked up.

"Double scotch, single malt." Derek muttered as he looked up.

Derek slumped his shoulders and stared at the table. Joe walked off an quickly returned with a drink. He quickly wheeled around and walked away. Derek didn't look friendly. Joe wasn't stepping on that mess. He knew when to leave a man alone to drink. He had seen it time and time again. But this one was the extreme.

"So, baby. What do you say we get out of here?" The blond asked as he placed his hand on Meredith's leg. He rubbed it, moving to her inner thigh.

"Why not?" Meredith shrugged as she looked at him. What the hell was the difference? She had nothing to lose.

"Sounds good." He said as he started to stand up.He felt a large man behind him. He didn't have to look. He could feel his hot breath on his neck.

"What the hell is going on here?" The man asked sternly.

"Mark!" Meredith said quickly as she looked up. There Mark stood, feet planted firmly.

"Let's go." He said as he grabbed her hand and started to walk off.

"Wait, she's mine." The blonde said as he looked at her. Her eyes got wide as she saw the expression on Mark's face.

"She's my wife." Mark spat as he stared the man down. Meredith looked at him in shock.

"What?" The blonde said as he looked over at her in shock.

"You are not!" Meredith spat angrily to Mark, who had a huge smile on his face. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself!" She said as she pushed him. He didn't budge. That just made her angry.

"Unless you want your face smashed, I'd get the hell out of here. Her fists may be tiny and ineffectual, but mine are not." He growled as he raised his fist up. The man looked at him with wide eyes. He said nothing as he threw bills on the bar, and then running out.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Meredith shouted as she glared at Mark.

"Saving you." He said quietly. "From yourself." He added as he looked at her with pity.

"Too late for that." She said loudly. "I am fine." She told him. "Joe, another shot, since my friend left."

"No." Mark said boldly. "She's had more than enough."

"I am fine." She said as she looked at Joe. She wobbled slightly.

"You made a 3-d pyramid out of empty shot glasses. You are not fine!" He told her as he grabbed her hand.

"That was just a warm up..." She said with a faint smile.

"Let's go." He said again as he grabbed her wrist.

"No!" She said, twisting her arm and pulling away.

"Meredith Grey, don't think I won't throw you over my shoulder. I've done it before." He warned.

"Fuck you." She spat as she shoved him again.

"Fine. Have it your way." He said with a shrug as he grabber her and threw her over his shoulder. He quickly turned to walk out.

"Mark! You ass. Let me down!" She said as he walked right out of the bar, people watching. She tried to beat him with her fists, but it seemed to go unnoticed. Finally she gave up and laid like a limp doll. He placed her in his Mercedes and walked to the other side.

"Where do you live?" He asked simply as he went to exit the parking lot.

"Olympic." She said as she rolled her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are." He said, unbelieving as he drove off.

"I am fine!" She said again loudly.

"Uh huh..." He said again.

"I'm fine." She finally cried out. "I'm fine, I'm fine..." She cried loudly as she sobbed. "I'm fine..."

"Mer--" He said softly as he glanced over at her. She continued to sob and mutter how fine she was. He put his hand out and grabbed hers.

It broke his heart. He couldn't understand it. Why? Why was she like this? What the hell happened? She was Derek's girl. Meredith and Derek. They were so happy. Everyone knew they would be together forever. So why weren't they? What the hell did that asshole ex-friend of his do to her?

Mark pulled up to Meredith's apartment and pulled into her parking space. Without exchanging words he picked her up and out of the car. She was light and easy to carry as he walked to her door. He grabbed the keys from her hand and unlocked the door. He swiftly kicked it shut as he walked in. Her eyes were closed, and she was breathing shallowly. He found his way to her room and laid her down softly.

"Lay with me, Derek." She said softly as she pulled his hand. He looked down at her and frowned. With as sigh he laid down next to her. She pulled his arm around her. He smiled as he laid there. Just tonight, he would be her Derek.

--------------

Derek didn't lift his head at the commotion. He didn't care. A bar fight. A lover's quarrel. It didn't matter. He heard people laughing. And yelling. Whatever. Then he glanced up. It was a man. A man carrying a woman. She was small. Just like Meredith. He was losing his mind. It was scary. He never thought it would be like that. He was losing his mind, and he knew it. That was the worst part, he knew it.

Derek sat down the nearly full glass. The scotch wasn't doing it. Not tonight. He threw down his bills and made his way out to the parking lot. Yep. There she was. Sitting it a Mercedes. But then again, she saw her in the coffee shop. In the hospital. In the cafeteria. Shit, he'd even seen her in the frosting of his chocolate donut. He was definitely losing his mind.

The car ride home was quiet. Traffic was light. He couldn't wait to get home. Home to the empty house, and the empty bed. His mood lightened when he pulled up to the dark house. She really wasn't there. He trudged upstairs to their room. He was going to change and collapse on his bed. He fished through the drawer for the pants. The pajama pants. The ones that he guarded with his life. Not there. He looked in the dirty laundry. Not there either. He rushed around looking everywhere. He was in a panic. They were gone. They were gone...

Derek grabbed his bottle of single malt scotch and sat on the back deck. He had searched everywhere. He had no idea where to look next. But he needed those pants. They were special. It was just another piece. Another thing that he needed to keep him sane.

Derek stared at the piece of paper in his hand. He wanted to call her. He needed to call her. It was stupid. They met at a party. Then at a bar. They had sex. Well, he took her virginity, which was still a shock to him. And he still felt somewhat guilty. But that wasn't why he was calling her. He was calling her because he couldn't get her out of his mind. That soft face, with her pale skin. Her golden locks. The lavender scent that followed her. He was doing it. He was calling her. He needed it. She was his new drug.

"Hello?" Meredith said softly into the phone.

At first he wasn't sure. Was it her? Yeah, it was her. Her voice sounded like and angel's. Soft and light. Smooth and calming. And when she giggled, it made everything fell better instantly. It was definitely her.

"Meredith?" He asked nervously. He never got nervous. Today he was nervous.

"Um...yeah?" She said skeptically. "Who is this?" She asked softly.

"Derek. From the party." He said quickly. "And the bar." He instantly chided himself for saying something stupid.

"Oh. Hey..." She said, somewhat in shock. They had sex, she figured he was done with her.

"So, I've been thinking about you. I'd like to-- I was thinking... Maybe we could go to a movie or something?" He asked quietly.

"A movie...Are you asking me on a date?" She giggled. There it was. The giggle. He immediately felt tingly all over.

"Well, yeah. I think I am." He finally answered.

"Sure. Why not?" She said, thinking about the fact that all of her friends had found something else to do and she was just sitting alone. "Tonight?"

"Of course. I'll pick you up." He said happily.

"Oh, um... Well, okay." She said hesitantly.

She quickly spat out the address, and the plans were made. She couldn't wait. She had been thinking about Derek non-stop, but she has kept telling herself it was just a mistake. She needed to get over it. She needed to forget it ever happened. He probably wasn't interested in her anyway.

Meredith ran up to her room. She had no idea what she was going to wear. She was nervous. And excited. She had never felt this way. Her stomach was flopping just thinking about it. Before she knew it, he was at her front door. She was going on a date with Mr. Great Hair.

"Hey." He said with a smile as she opened the door.

"Hey." She returned with a smile.

"Nice place." He said as he looked around.

"Yeah. So are you ready to go?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah. Sure, let's go." He said as they walked out the front door. "So do you live with your parents?"

"Yeah. But not for much longer. It's just easier, you know?" She said, trying to brush it off.

"What do that do?" He asked as he looked back at the large house.

"They're um...doctors. So what movie do you want to see?" Meredith asked as she looked over at him.

"Well, let's eat first. Then whatever you want..." He said as they drove down the road.

------------------

"So the movie was..." Derek said with a smile.

"Yeah. I didn't see any of it, either." She giggled as she glanced over at him. "We were too busy..."

"I couldn't help it." He joked as he looked at her with a smile. They walked towards the car and Derek opened the door. Meredith got a seductive grin on her face.

"Take me for a ride, Derek..." She whispered into his ear. He melted. She made him melt. She made him lose control. Then rationality set in.

"No...not here." He said as he motioned for her to get in. She did with a frown. He quickly rushed to the other side of the car and climbed in. "This time. We are doing this right." He told her as he grabbed her hand.

Meredith's heart pounded as they drove in the car. She wanted him. He did this to her. He was insatiable. She couldn't resist him, and she didn't even try. Her palms were sweaty. Her foot was twitching. He was her drug, and she just wanted a tiny taste.

Derek and Meredith bounded up the stairs to the second floor apartment. They could hardly contain themselves as he opened the door. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that neither Mark or Addison were home. Derek led Meredith into his room with a smile. He wanted her to remember this forever.

Meredith smiled as she unbuttoned his deep blue shirt and slid it off. Her hands fell onto his chest, caressing the hard flesh. Her hands fell to his jeans. She slowly worked at his belt, until she freed him, letting his jeans fall to the floor. The presence of his bulge through his boxers made her smile. She knew. She knew what was to come, and it was pure bliss. She pulled her long sleeve shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. He smiled at the presence of her perky breasts peaking out of her black bra. He slowly undid her tight jeans and let them crash to the floor.

"Tonight is about you." He said with a smile as he laid her back on the bed.

He smiled when he looked at her tiny black thong, a perfect wet spot awaiting in the center. Derek looked at her and all her saw was perfection. She was perfect. She was special. A treasure. He looked into her soft green eyes. They were full of need. Full of desire. She wanted him, and he was more than ready to give himself to her.

"You are so beautiful." He said softly as he kissed her softly. He could feel her blush. As if she didn't know she was. His mouth slowly began sucking on her neck, tasting her sweet flesh on his tonugue.. She moaned as he nipped and sucked, pulling on her softly. His mouth trailed down. Derek's hands gently unclasping her bra. He sighed as he looked the perfect mounds of flesh, teasing him. His mouth instantly went to each, teasing and sucking them into hardened peaks.

"Oh..." She moaned as he teeth squeezed gently. She felt his tongue move down and suck on her navel. She sucked her abdomen in at the sensation. She felt her body tingle as he looped his finger around her panties and pulled them down. She was ready for him.

"Oh god!" She gasped as she felt his fingers enter her moist heat.

"God you're wet..." He muttered as he swirled his finger around, flicking and rubbing. Teasing and touching. He felt her clit began to pulsate as he pushed harder, sending her closer.

"Oh my god...oh...shit!...oh my..." She moaned as she began to release. His mouth quickly moved down, sucking and slurping, enjoying her uniquely sweet taste.

"Oh..." She said softly. "Again..."

"Again?" He asked as he looked up. She nodded with a smile on her face. He quickly began sucking her warm fluid. "This is perfect..." She moaned as he went to work again. She felt herself release into a shuddering climax.

She laid there for a moment on a pleasurable silence. Finally she looked down at his boxers. She grasped the waistband of his boxers and began to pull them down.

"You don't have to." He said seriously. "This is about you..."

"I want to." She nodded as she looked down at his large cock. "I really want to..."

"Not now..." He said quickly. His hand ran down once again, penetrating her warm lips. She was ready, more than ready. She smiled at his touch. He rolled over and grabbed a condom out of the bedside table. She grabbed it out of his hands, and she ripped it open and rolled it on to him. She laid onto her back once again, awaiting the pleasure.

"Please..." She moaned as she spread her legs. He gently pushed her knees up and entered her slowly.

"Oh my god!" She gasped as she felt the length of his large cock penetrate her. She immediately felt strong sensations taking her over.

"Damn...you are tight." He said with a grin as he slid himself in and out of her, his hands holding her wrists on the bed. "Oh..." He moaned. She gasped as she felt his length reach deeper and farther. She pulled her legs apart and felt him go deeper.

"Derek...oh god...Derek..." She screamed as he quickened his pace. "Oh my..." She moaned. "Harder..."

"Yeah?" He asked, not wanting to be too rough.

"Yes. Harder!" She screamed. She never wanted the pleasure to end.

"Meredith...Oh my...Mer..." He moaned loudly. "Fuck..." He could feel her tightening around him.

"I'm...oh god!" She shouted as she felt a rush of heat. "Harder...shit..."

"Fuck...I'm...oh..." He grunted as he thrust into her and released. He released her hands as she slid them down his sweaty back.

"Oh my god." He said as he collapsed. He locked his eyes on hers, and watched the smile creep up on her satisfied face. He rolled off of her and stared at the ceiling. They both laid there, covered in sweat and panting.

"Oh god, thank you..." She muttered softy.

"You are fucking amazing!" He panted as he looked over at her.

"And you are...wow." She said as she rolled over and laid her head on his chest. He smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair. It had never felt like that. Not with anyone. He looked at her amazing body. She truly was perfection.

Meredith woke up with the sun on her face, it was warm. A comfortable warm. She frowned as looked over at the empty spot where Derek had laid. Then it hit her. Bacon. She could smell bacon. He was cooking breakfast. She climbed out of bed and grabbed his pair of pajama pants on the floor. She threw them on, and rolled down the generous waist, letting them fall on her hips. She pulled on her shirt from the night before. He smiled as he watched her walk into the kitchen.

"I hope you don't mind." She pointed to the pants.

"Mind? What's mine is yours. And honey, they look much better on you than they do on me!" He said as he pulled her to the stove and kissed her softly. She stepped back and he took her in. "Much better..." [/i

Derek stared sadly at the half empty bottle of scotch. This was how it was. Drown it out. He looked up at the stars. They reminded him of her eyes. Her bright green eyes. The ones that turned gray when she cried, and emerald during sex. He missed those eyes. And it seemed like everyday, they went farther from sight. It was harder and harder to picture them. And harder and harder to feel her touch.

He and Meredith loved the stars. She was the only girl that would sleep outside, right under them. Right on the ground. She always said that she could be anywhere. As long as she was with Derek, it just didn't matter. And he never told her, but he completely agreed. And he could do anything by her side.

"Oh. You're home." Kristy said as she slid the glass door open with a whoosh. She neared him and could smell the scotch. "And half in the bottle." She muttered. He looked up, waking from his thoughts.

"Where are they?" He growled nastily. He had had just enough to drink. Just enough to push him. To make him want to push.

"Where are what, Derek?" Kristy asked with a fake smile. The truth was, she was getting tired. Tired of the lies. Tired of being fake. Just tired.

"The pajama pants. The black-watch plaid pajama pants. The ones I told you to keep your damn hands off of." Derek said nastily as he glared at her.

"I have do idea what you are talking about." She giggled as she walked away. That was the last straw. He knew. He knew that she knew. She knew where they were.

"Where are they?" He asked as he stumbled through the sliding door, slamming it shut behind him. She jumped at the sound and turned around.

"I told you, I don't know." She snapped as she faced off with him. "You know what? You're losing your fucking mind, Derek. They are pants. Ugly cotton pants. That are so worn you can almost see through them. They're gross. You wear them days in a row. What the hell is wrong with you?" She spat as she glared into his angry eyes. She had never seen him look this way. "Crazy..."

"Where?" He said loudly with a deep voice. "Where?" He screamed.

He raised his hand. As a kid, never hit a girl. As a man, never hit a woman. But right now, that was all her wanted to do. Right now, he wanted to hurt her. Because right now, he was hurting. He was hurting and she had a part in it. He couldn't take it. The anger. The pain. The hatred. The sadness. The grief. It all boiled over. Like a pot of water, it poured out.

Kristy's eyes were fearful. She had never seen him so angry. It was stupid. Pants. Pajama pants. He was having a fit over pants. It wasn't normal. It wasn't right. She watched as Derek raised his fist. He slowly brought it back. She closed her eyes and braced herself. Crack.

"In the trash." She finally spoke quietly, as she glanced at the large hole he had just created in the wall next to her head. "Outside."

"I told you to keep your fucking hands off of them!" He yelled loudly as he stalked off.

Kristy fell into a puddle of tears. It hurt. It hurt because she was afraid. She knew he would never hurt her. Derek wasn't that way. What she was afraid of was the truth. What she was afraid to admit. What she refused to see. Her marriage was over. In fact, it had never really started. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them. He wouldn't come to console her. And for the first time, she wasn't going to him either.

Derek stormed out the back door. How could she do it? What she trying to hurt him? He knew that she didn't know any better. That didn't mean that he wasn't angry. He want through the first can. Nothing. Second. Nothing. The third. There they were in a plastic bag. At least she didn't just throw them in. Into the dirty can.

Derek clutched the pants tightly in his hand. He walked out to the hammock in the backyard. He had never been able to lay in it. But tonight he could. Maybe Addison was right. Maybe she really was with him, and tonight, he really needed her to be.

[iThe drive home, Derek was on auto pilot. That was it. The end. In a matter of moments, it had all ended. His life. His future. His dreams. Over. The love of his life, gone. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't do anything. Not one thing. It hurt. It was numb, and yet it hurt. He was in a daze. A cloud. Everything around him was moving. But he was painfully still unable to move. Unable to function.

Derek found himself in their apartment. It was just the way it was the last day they had left together. He hadn't been home. Not to sleep. Not to live. He had lived at the hospital for the last month. Holding her hand. Reading to her. Talking about the past. Telling he the hospital gossip. Planning the future. Everything had stopped as he lived in that room. He could bring her back. He knew he could. No brain function, they said. It didn't matter. He knew better. She was in there. He just need more time. He needed to say the right words. He needed time. And time, time is what they wouldn't give him. They cut him out. Like he was no one. It wasn't his decision. Nothing was. And just like that. She was dead, and he killed her.

He threw his clothes in his bag. He couldn't be here. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but their home. Anywhere but where they were so happy. It was his fault. He let her down. He couldn't bring her back. He didn't say the right things. Derek walked out of their apartment with his bag, not looking back. He couldn't. He couldn't be reminded of the guilt. It was his fault. She was young. And beautiful. And smart. He killed her

When he finally met his destination he pulled out some clothing. He wasn't planning on getting out of bed in a very, very long time. His life was over, and he was just going to lay there until he joined her. The tears fell when he pulled the pajama pants out of his bag. He lifted them to his nose. Her. He smelled her. So sweet. So perfect. Gone. Gone forever. He laid down in the bed, tears falling, clutching the pants tightly. She was gone. Gone forever. And no one could bring her back.

---------------

Meredith stirred lightly in her bed. A boy. In her bed. A man. She felt a man's arm wrapped firmly around her body. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. She thought back to the night before. She drank. A lot. It must have been a lot because that's all she remembered. The leaning pyramid of shot glasses. And Joe. The bartender's name was Joe. This was bad. It had been a long time since she made this mistake. Med school. Med school was the last time she had a boy in her bed. She looked at the hand and then herself. She was fully clothed and on top of the bed sheets. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as she thought.

The roll. The roll had to be perfect. Her body hurt in the mornings. Hell, it hurt all of the time. But mornings, they were worse, much worse. She had to be sure that once she saw his face she could roll off and run like hell. She rolled slowly, hearing her body pop, pop, pop. It always did. Her look of worry turned to relief as she stared into Mark's steely eyes.

"Mark, what the hell are you doing in my bed?" She grumbled as she looked him.

"Oh, you don't remember?" He said with a grin. She looked at his chiseled face. "Well, we had hot sex, then we dressed and laid on top of the bed." He laughed. "I always knew I'd get you into bed."

"You do realize how gross that sounds, right?" Meredith asked as she scrunched her nose.

"Yeah. Kinda like sleeping with my sister." He agreed.

Mark and Meredith had always been close. Mark, Addison, Derek and Meredith were best friends. Inseparable. Whenever Derek wasn't around, Mark was. He was her protector. He was the big brother and she was the baby. That's how it always was. He regarded her as his closest of family. His only true female friend. He and Addison were close, but he and Meredith were closer. In order of friends, it was Mark and Meredith, Derek and Addie. They just meshed that way.

"Pretty much." Meredith said with an agreeing nod.

"So I could make us some breakfast. I know you can't. I've had that experience. I think I was in the bathroom for two hours." He laughed. His arm was met with a light smack.

"I can cook... Okay, maybe not. But as to you cooking, I haven't shopped since I moved in...so good luck with that." She said with a frown.

"So what do you eat?" He asked as he looked at her.

"Um, whatever I come across... Usually something at the hospital. From the snack machine." Meredith told him regrettably.

"Oh, Derek would be pissed about that." He watched her reaction and frowned.

"Seriously, I am not talking about..." Meredith trailed off as she closed her eyes and rubbed her tired face.

"So dinner. What do you have for dinner?" He asked with a light frown.

"Tequila." She said honestly.

"Boy am I glad I found you..." Mark said with a chuckle. "Who knows how long you would have lasted."

"I am just fine by myself." Meredith said as she rolled over and off of the bed. He heard her grumble loudly.

"Are you okay?" Mark asked with a worried face as he stood up and went to the side of the bed.

"Mornings are the worst." She said honestly as she struggled to get up.

"The accident?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah." She said as she climbed to her feet with his help and walked to the closet. "I need to take a shower." She said as she walked in the bathroom.

"And I will try to find something to eat in this place." He grumbled.

Mark walked into the lavish kitchen. He frowned when he saw that is was indeed, lacking food. Mark listened to the water turn on. He heard the water running. How did it get to this point? He looked over his shoulder, half expecting Derek to walk out. Just like the old days. The days when everyone was happy. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe he was wrong. Hell, he was wrong. He could have handled it differently. The last day. The last time he talked to his friend. Maybe it was a mistake... Maybe he was wrong...

Mark walked down the somewhat familiar hallway of the cold sterile hospital. Derek called. He was in tears. A three hour drive. Mark drove three hours to be with his friend. He tried talking over the phone, but everything he said was inaudible. Whatever it was, he was distraught. Whatever it was, he knew had to do with Meredith.

"What's going on?" Mark said as he approached Meredith's hospital room. Derek had his back against the wall, and his hands on his head.

"They---They--- Richard--Ellis-- They're pulling the plug..." He finally managed to push out before his lips began to tremble and the tears fell. "Friday. They are pulling the plug on Friday."

He didn't just say that. Mark must have heard wrong. Meredith is young and strong. She's vivacious. She's a force to be reckoned with. She's Meredith freaking Grey. The only girl who could drink him under the table. The only girl that could hang with the boys and then wear a dress, even if she didn't want to. She is Meredith Grey. And there is no way, she is going to die.

"What?" Mark spat nastily. His anger for Richard and Ellis was now pouring out and falling on Derek. Friday. Scheduled. It was scheduled? Probably around Ellis' precious work.

"They just told me. They're pulling the plug..." He said as he looked into Mark's cold eyes.

"No. No. No. Meredith is strong. She'll pull through. They can't kill her!" Mark shouted as he rubbed his face. "This fucking bullshit!" He yelled loudly. "She's eighteen. She's an adult. There has to be something we can do..."

"No. Ellis is Meredith's medical proxy. There' s nothing we can do. There is nothing we can do..." Derek cried as he leaned against the wall and slid down.

"This is shit!" Mark screamed, feeling as if he was losing his baby sister.

"I can't do anything..." Derek muttered softly. "They say I need to say goodbye. How the hell do I say goodbye to the love of my life?"

"Oh my god..." Mark moaned. He felt as if he had been hit in the stomach by a wrecking ball. Friends. They were all best friends. Sure they were leaving for college, but that wasn't going to change anything.

"You need to say goodbye." Derek said as she stared blankly at the wall.

"I'm not fucking saying goodbye, Derek!" Mark said angrily.

Mark paced quickly in front of the room. He looked in at her. She looked so soft. So comfortable. So peaceful. Alive. She looked alive. And to think, in a few days. In four days, she wouldn't be. Mark finally walked into the room and shut the door.

"Hey, baaaby." He said in his usual way. She hated that. Maybe she would wake up just to spite him. "Sorry I haven't been around. I moved. Med school, you know. Der's supposed to start med school soon. But you know that. And you-- you were supposed to start at Dartmouth." He got out before doubling over and sobbing.

"It shouldn't be this way." He cried out. "You're my best friend. My best girl. My girl. My best girl. You're Der's girl. And my girl. This is...this is shit, man. I love you. I love you like family. I can't fucking say goodbye. How the fuck do I say goodbye? Shit!" He cried out. He softly grabbed her hand. "I can't do this..." He said as he struggled to breathe. "I am so sorry. This shouldn't have happened. You're just a kid..." He said with another sob. The room was getting small. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. "I love you, Mer. I love you." He said as he gave her a soft kiss. "I guess this is goodbye. And put a good word in for me. God knows I'll need it." He said as he turned and walked out.

The anger was building. He couldn't hold it in. Why did this have to happen. Why to her. Her of all people. She didn't deserve it. Not her. She was special. She was radiant. She was great. She was a good girl. He walked out and looked at Derek. He was driving the car. If he hadn't been driving... It wasn't his fault. But damn-it he was mad and had to take it out on someone.

"Mark..." Derek said softly as he looked up.

"This is your fault! This is on you. This is on you. You killed her!" He spat as he pointed his finger in his face. "You killed her."

Mark walked out. He never looked back to see that Derek had fallen into mush. His friend needed him. And he just left. He blamed him and he left. It was wrong. He knew it was wrong, but it was too late to go back as he walked down the hallway. He couldn't go back there, not for anything."

Mark didn't cry. He wasn't that type of guy. But right now. Today. He cried. His shoulders shook violently as he placed his hands on the counter. He couldn't take it. The guilt. He blamed everything on his friend. It wasn't Derek's fault. He knew that. Even that day, in that moment, he knew it. But the anger had boiled over. He screwed up, and he regretted it daily. That day, he lost his friends. That day he lost both of his best friends in one fallow swoop.

"Mark?" Meredith asked softly as she neared Mark. She had never seen him cry. Not ever. "Are you okay?" She asked as she pulled him close. He looked as broken as she felt.

"I'm sorry, Mer. I--" He said as he held her. They held each other until his sobs stopped.

"You're crying." She said in shock as she looked into his red eyes.

"I'm sorry. I haven't cried since- Well, since the day I lost my friends." He said as he looked into her eyes. "I missed you..." He whispered as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I missed my friend."

------------------

Meredith's day was not starting well. First Mark cried this morning. Mark Sloan does not cry. Never. Ever. This concerned her. It just wasn't natural. He said he lost his friends. He definitely referred to her as a friend. But who was the other friend? Derek? Addison? She wanted to know. She really did. But at the same time, if it had anything to do with Derek, she didn't want to hear about it.

And of course, to help the shitty day along, something happened to her car this morning. It stalled, and it didn't start. She ended up leaving it and grabbing a cab. Yep, this day was just going to get better and better.

"Hey." Kristy said as she walked into the patient's room.

"Hey..." Meredith said softly as she looked at her sleeping patient.

"So how are you today?" She asked softly so as not to wake the patient.

"Shitty." Meredith said frankly as she scribbled on the chart. "My car broke down. I had to take a freaking cab to work." Meredith said with a frown. "I guess it's just like the rest of my life." She muttered sadly.

"Listen, I'll take you home tonight after my shift. But not before we go out. You need a break. You need to relax. And I am dying for a drink." She said with an enticing grin.

"I don't know..." Meredith frowned as she looked at at her.

"Come on... You know you want to." Kristy said with raised brows.

"We'll see." Meredith said as she sat the chart down and grabbed another one. We'll see was Meredith's nice way of saying not a chance in hell.

"Okay. Let me know. An no avoiding. I'm a nurse, I know everything. I will hunt you down..." She said with a giggle as she walked away.

"What was that about?" A familiar voice said as he walked up behind her and leaned against the desk.

"What?" Meredith asked as she looked up at him.

"You have a friend..." He told her with a grin.

"More like a stalker." Meredith told him quickly. "And she wants me to hang out with her tonight. But I-- I don't do that. I like to go home. I like to drink my tequila and pass out."

"She likes you. It's cute. She like clingy, bubbly Addison." Mark pointed out. They both frowned and looked at the floor. Mark and Meredith had both drifted away from her. In fact, it felt like everyone had drifted away from Meredith.

"So..." Meredith said as she looked up at him.

"You should go." Mark said quickly. "Go. Have a good time. You need a friend..."

"You're my friend..." Meredith returned with a grin.

"That I am. But I'm not your girlfriend. Do it once, it won't kill you." Mark said with a smile as he walked away. "Come on..."

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that right?" Meredith shouted down the hall.

"Some things never change!" Mark shouted back.

"Your boyfriend?" She heard the heavy accent of her French attending say. Her head shot up as she looked at him.

"No. No, I don't have a-- He's a friend. An old friend." Meredith said as she looked back down at the chart.

"Oh, I see." Adrien said as he looked over at her.

"So, do we have anything scheduled?" Meredith asked, knowing there wasn't anything.

"Slow board." He grumbled.

"Dr. Grey?" Dena Eastman asked as she walked up.

"Yes?" Meredith spat as she looked up.

"What do I do?" Dena asked as she looked at them both.

"What do you think you do?" Meredith asked loudly.

"I finished the sutures in the pit." Dena said softly.

"Go watch that bowel resection that Bailey is doing." Meredith said, getting her out of her hair. "Interns." She moaned.

"Dumber everyday." Adrien laughed.

"You've got that right." Meredith said as she lanced over at him, their eyes meeting for a moment. "Well, I have to..."

"Yeah, me too." He said as he turned on his heel and walked away.

---------------

"I can't believe you finally caved!" Kristy giggled as she and Meredith walked towards her Mercedes.

"Yeah, me either." Meredith muttered as she walked around to the passenger side of the vehicle.

"So I have to stop home and change. I wore my scrubs in. You don't mind, do you?" Kristy asked as she started the car and pulled out of the hospital's lot.

"That's fine." Meredith said quickly.

"So where did you come from?" Kristy asked as she glanced over at Meredith.

"New Hampshire." Meredith said as she looked out the window.

"Really?" Kristy asked as she looked over.

"I went to Dartmouth." Meredith told her.

"My husband went there. And then to John's Hopkins for med school." Kristy told her as the pulled onto the freeway.

"Oh." Meredith replied.

"I'm from here. I never left. I just love Seattle. I love the rain." She said as drove.

"I am beginning to like the rain. But the ferry boats, I love the ferry boats." Meredith said as she thought about the last time she rode one with Derek.

"My husband likes them too. He says they're calming." Kristy explained.

"They are." Meredith agreed. She watched as they pulled into a large subdivision full of large homes. they were nice, but not where she would want to live. They pulled up to a large tan home.

"This is my humble abode. Well, not so humble, I guess." She said with a chuckle.

"It's nice." Meredith muttered.

"Well, come on..." Kristy said as she walked up to the house. "My husband isn't here. Not that he ever is." She said with a frown. "I'll be down in a few." She said as she headed upstairs. Meredith looked around the house. It felt familiar. It felt comfortable. But at the same time, it felt strange. There were no personal items around. No pictures. Nothing.

"Okay." Kristy said as she came down the stairs. "I'm ready."

"Let's go." Meredith said as they walked out of the house. She felt relieved to get out, and she had no idea why.

Meredith and Kristy stopped to get a bite to eat at the small restaurant and pub that Kristy had raved about. Maybe Mark was right. Maybe Meredith did need to lighten up. But how? How do you go on? How do you pretend that your life didn't end? That you didn't lose the love of your life.

"So my husband wigged out on me last night. All over some freaking pajama pants." Kristy said, shaking her head. "I threw them away. He was pissed."

"Well, were they comfortable?" Meredith asked frankly.

"I don't know." Kristy said with a shrug.

"You don't know? I always wore my boyfriend's pajamas. Much more comfortable" Meredith told him. "So yeah. If they're comfy, I'd be pissed too."

"But he had this weird attachment to them. I don't know...kind of like you are with those damn earrings. I see the way you wear them everyday. You always have your fingers on them" Kristy said as she pointed to them. Meredith's hand instinctively travelled to her ears.

"Oh my god!" She cried. "It's missing. I'm missing one!" She said as she looked around. "Shit!" She said as she jumped up. After searching with no avail, she finally gave up. "He got them for me..."

"The ass? The one that just left you?" Kristy asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah." Meredith agreed as she sipped her drink.

"If it had been me, they would have been off the back of the ferry tears ago!" Kristy said frankly.

"It's just..." Meredith tried to explain.

"Look, he left you. He just left. Is he dead? Did he die?" She asked quickly.

"I don't think so." Meredith said with a frown.

"So he didn't have a reason. He just left. Screw him. You can't put your life on hold for him. Forget his ass. It's time to move on..." Kristy told her loudly. Meredith's face dropped.

"But he is the love of my life." Meredith said as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Honey, it's time to fine a new one...I'm sure he has." She said frankly. Meredith sighed. Maybe she was right.

Derek stumbed into his dark house. She wasn't home. He had no idea where she was, and he didn't care. He hadn't talked to her after punching the wall. He knew he should. He knew it had scared the hell out of her, but he couldn't. She would never understand, and he would never tell her. What he felt for Meredith was deeper than anything he had ever felt. Meredith was sacred. She was a treasure. He wasn't sharing. Not even her memory.

Derek flipped the lights on in the house. This was not what he wanted. He didn't want this house. It looked like it was out a magazine. Contemporary. He wasnted something more lived in. Less fake. He had always thought by now they would have their kids. He an Meredith. Children that shared their features. Their maneurisms. Their love. But that didn't happen. And it never would.

Derek slipped off his leather shoes and left them by the door. Kristy hated that, and he didn't care. Part of the time he did it just to spit her. Just to be hateful. He walked towards the kitchen. His foot ran across something. It was tiny. It was sharp. He immediatley bent down to pick it up. His heart raced as he clutched it in his hand. It couldn't be. No way.

The party was like it always was. No different from every other one she had ever had. A pool party. All of her friends. Or at least the ones she had left. She honestly wasn't even interested in them. She just wanted one person to be there. She wanted Derek.

Ellis and Richard didn't make it comfortable for Derek to be around. Meredith got that. In fact, she supported him in his efforts to evade them whenever possible. The party was torture. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with Derek. Not with all of the fake people that called themselves her friend. She was so happy when it was over. Richard and Ellis rushed off to the hospital immediately after she opened her gifts. Just as she knew they would.

"Hey." Meredith said softly as she opened the door. There he stood, his dark curls wet from the soft rain that was falling.

"Happy birthday. Happy eighteenth birthday..." He said as he walked in and gave her a soft kiss.

"Thank you." She said quickly.

"So how does it feel? To be eighteen?" He asked as he follwed her to her room.

"Refreshing. I don't know... I just feel... free." She said as she pulled one of his spare shirts out of her dresser. "Wear this." She said as she offered it to him. "Although I do think I like that alternative. Maybe I should just take this back?" She asked as she pulled the shirt back out of his grasp. He quickly peeled the wet shirt off, revealing his perfectly muscled chest.

"Yep, that is definitely better!" She said as she ran her hands down his chest. She sat down on the bed, pulling him beside her. He quickly reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small box.

"Here." Derek said as he stared into Meredith's eyes.

"What's this?" She asked as she grabbed it.

"Your present." He replied.

"You didn't have to get me anything." She said with a smile.

"Of course I did. Open it." He told her. She opened the tiny box and smiled. There was a pair of green ametyst earrings inside. They were beautiful.

"Oh Derek..." She said as she looked up at him. "You didn't have to." She told him.

They were expensive. She knew he didn't have a lot of money. The Shepherd's struggled. After his dad died, it was hard. Their mother did all she could to support them, but they all had to pay for their own college. Derek had done way too much. This was too mcuh.

"They remind me of your eyes..." He said as he looked at them and then into her green eyes. "Happy birthday...I love you." He said as he kissed her softly.

Derek sat on the sofa. He was holding it. There was no mistaking it. It was her earring. The ones he had gotten her. The ones she wore everyday. How it got there, he had no idea. Had it mysteriously come from the other side? He heard of that happening. He always said it was complete nonsense. Was he losing his mind? Was this some alternate universe?

The only explaination was that she was there. In his house. He knew she hadn't been there. That was crazy. Addison said she was always with him. In spirit. He was losing his mind. Now things were materializing. He was going crazy. No matter what, he was holding it. He had it in his hand. And he was never letting go.

So I'm pretty bad about A/N. A lot happened her. You will just keep learning more. But you really need to pay attention to every detail!