Warnings: Skye gives Ward blue balls up in da club.
Author's Note: Are we all having fun?

"So, what did you do today, Skye?" Kate asked as she nursed her third glass of Scotch.

Skye had dodged Kate's attempts to out her and Ward during dinner but now that they were in the bar she was back at it, trying to catch them in a lie. And while she found it to be tedious, Skye could do this all night.

"Another round," Skye called, polishing off her own glass as she met Ward's eyes from across the booth. And though he looked ready to murder her, she gave him her sweetest, most innocent smile.

Of course, she wasn't innocent. Her foot was in his lap, rubbing one out for him over his jeans. Not that she had any intention of actually letting him finish; she'd spare him the embarrassment. And the release. Quid pro quo, after all.

"So?" Kate persisted.

Skye glanced over at Kate with a grin. "I tried out my new vibrator," she lied, her eyes on Ward now. "It was the best orgasm I've ever had. I might have to buy three more in case I wear this one out."

Ward, who had been doing his best to keep it together with her teasing, was now incredibly pale.

Mack, on the other hand, choked on his drink.

"Jesus, Skye! Too much information!"

Skye turned to him with a pout. "Aww, too bad; I was going to invite you to watch."

And that's when Ward's eyes grew dark.

Good, she thought.

With a roll of her eyes Kate finished her Scotch. "This vibrator wouldn't happen to have a name, would it? Like War-OWW!"

All eyes were suddenly on Ward, who had kicked Kate from under the table.

"Holy shit, that's where you were this morning," Hunter said, whistling. "Good for you, mate."

"You're both drunk and talking crazy," Ward insisted but the damage was done. Kate and Hunter shared a look of pure, gleeful satisfaction, and Skye could already hear their stupid taunts now.

"Enough!" Skye yelled, glaring at them both, in no mood for this. "You want to know the truth? Fine."

She met Ward's eyes and for a moment she wanted to come out with it, to just get it over with, but she couldn't do it; she was too stubborn to go down without a fight.

"Ward was too drunk to make it all the way down the hall to his room by himself and since I couldn't carry him there, I let him sleep it off in my room. The only reason I didn't say anything is because I knew you jackasses would invent insane fantasies about me and Ward and I am not in the fucking mood to hear them."

"You're such a good Samaritan, inviting an attractive man into your bed," Kate insisted.

Skye wanted to punch her in the face.

"I believe you, baby girl," Trip said as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple.

"Thank you," Skye whispered, glaring at Hunter who was smirking in her direction, unconvinced.

"I believe it; Ward can't hold his liquor," Fitz offered, ordering an entire bottle when the waitress dropped off their round.

"I can hold my liquor just fine," Ward grumbled, cheeks red.

"I'm sorry," Skye mouthed. She knew they'd tease him for this, but it was better than everyone ganging up on them over their new relationship.

"Bring us two bottles, will you?" Clint ordered, handing the waitress a hundred. Nat shot him a disapproving glare and he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'll behave, promise. Besides, we're getting married in a week, don't you want to let loose a little?"

"How will us being married affect your ability to 'let loose'?"

"You angered the beast, mate," Hunter whistled, smirking into his drink. "You'd do well to shut your mouth; it's best not to make it worse."

Hunter was still not over the fact that Clint and Bobbi had had a (very brief) fling after their first divorce so he invented reasons to stir the pot.

Bobbi was no only used to this shit, but she was sick of it, and now she was furious.

"He's not the only one who should keep his mouth shut."

"Come on, love," Hunter chuckled as he threw an arm around her. "This is a celebration!" He cried out, teetering in his chair as he sloppily kissed Bobbi before holding his glass up, only spilling half of it as he made his toast. "A toast! To love! And marriage! Just because Bobbi and I can't make it work doesn't mean you two won't," he encouraged, winking in Clint's direction. "Cheers!"

Bobbi was going to kill him.

"Being around all of this domestic bliss probably has you wishing you were still up in your room banging Ward huh?" Trip muttered into her ear.

Skye choked on her shot.

"Wh-what?"

"See," Trip teased as he grinned down at her, "I wasn't a hundred perfect sure until just now.

You get that dick, girl," he encouraged proudly.

The waiter came around with their bottles and Skye used the distraction to pour herself another shot. Then another. And another.

Maybe if she drank the entire bottle she'd do something stupid enough to make everyone forget.

"Holy fuck, Skye; there isn't a shortage of Scotch," Fitz scolded as she threw another shot back.

"We. Are. In. Vegas." Skye sassed, pouring herself another shot before meeting Fitz's eyes and pouring him one too. "The real question is: why in the fuck aren't we all trashed right now?"

"Our girl here has a very good point; I say we get stupid enough to make terrible and questionable choices that may get us fired on Monday," Kate encouraged, pouring out shots to the entire table.

Kate was a terrible fucking influence and an instigator and Skye could kiss her right now.

"That sounds like a self-destructive, terrible plan," Trip said as he shook his head. "So, of course I'm in," he toasted a moment later.

"We're all going to be hungover in the morning," Mack warned with a small smile.

"Oh, fuck it," Nat threw back a shot and slammed it on the table. "This is my bachelorette weekend and someone besides Clint better take their damn pants off."

"I volunteer!" Hunter cried, reaching for the bottle.

"Oh no, you're not," Bobbi warned, intercepting the bottle before he could get another drink. "But I volunteer one of these two fine men to do it," she teased, blowing a kiss in Mack and Trip's direction.

"Oy!" Hunter cried in offense.

"To Trip and Mack finally proving which peen is the thickest," Kate toasted, doing her best not to laugh.

"You're all dick pigs," Hunter complained but they ignored him.

"To Clint," Skye interrupted, "and Natasha; I love you both, Nat more than Clint," she teased. "Thank you for reminding us that it's possible to have a life outside of the job, and for giving us an excuse to finally take a weekend off to get shitfaced."

"Here, here!" The boys called, raising their glasses.

Skye did the same before taking a shot.

As the others followed suit she met Ward's eyes. The intensity of his gaze sent warmth through her veins and she knew if he kept looking at her like that, with the drinks flowing, she might not be able to wait until they were alone to kiss him.

This night was going to end in disaster, but as long as they were all too drunk to remember, did it really matter?