Title: Linger
Author:
MistressKiko
Rating:
M
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya ... Shizuo x Mairu
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!

THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned.

Shizuo's POV

At first, I thought the hotel room was empty. Then I saw the lump under the covers, and I grew steadily more nervous.

"Mairu?" I said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Hearing a sniffle, I froze.

She tossed the blankets off, sitting up and proving that yes, she was crying. It hurt to see her like this, and before I could even say another word, she spoke up.

"I'm sorry."

… wait, what?

"Why are you sorry?" I asked incredulously as she wiped at her tears, "I should have handled that better. I just..."

"No, I went and said all that without thinking of your feelings. It was selfish of me to ask when you haven't even said you love me yet," Mairu said with a smile, though her eyes were sad.

She melted my heart.

She had absolutely nothing to be sorry for. It was all me.

I crawled on the bed, wrapping her in my arms and hugging tightly.

"Don't say that. You did nothing wrong. You're wonderful and I'm honored, but..." I trailed off, my tongue suddenly feeling like cotton. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her about my times with Izaya. I was the biggest chicken in the world, "I don't think... I don't think it's love yet."

Ugh, if the wall was any closer, I would bash my head against it.

"Yeah," Mairu whispered, looking down at the covers, "I kinda figured that. Maybe I was too quick to say anything. But I've been a little self-conscious lately. You've seemed kind of... distant."

Rip my heart out, why don't you?

I sighed, pulling away from her.

"There's a reason for that. Sorry," I confessed, weaving my fingers together. I was afraid she would inquire about that 'reason'.

"Is it me?"

"No," I answered honestly, with a strained chuckle. She looked curious, and I think I was starting to sweat.

"Can I know? I do love you, Shizuo. I want this to work out," she said innocently.

You have no idea what you're asking.

A knock at the door startled both of us, and we turned our heads as a muffled "Room service!" could be heard on the other side of the door.

"Oh, it's five. That's dinner," Mairu explained, sliding off the bed. I watched as she answered the door and wheeled a cart inside. The appetizing smell hit my nose, and I was suddenly famished.

I really don't know how it happened. We ended up eating dinner, watching movies, and going to bed without the topic being brought up again. I was convinced that it wasn't forgotten, though. She just wanted to drop it for today; that didn't mean it wouldn't come up again. At that time, what would I tell her?

Even though we got through the night fairly well, it wasn't all gumdrops and cotton candy. Even though she tried to hide it, there was still a sense of tension in the room, and she couldn't hide those disappointed eyes from me. We hung out and talked naturally, but I noticed she kept her distance from me throughout the rest of the night.

Well of course she did, I had just rejected her.

When I woke up the next morning, I realized I needed to call Izaya. I needed to know what I was getting into, and if it was even worth it.

As I thought about the last time I had seen Izaya, my face grew hot and I groaned.

Damn morning wood.

I dashed into the bathroom and took a nice, cold shower, and was out before Mairu was even up. As I buttoned up my shirt, I looked down at her sleeping face. She knew exactly how she felt and had the guts to tell me. I would do the same even if it killed me.

I walked over to the dresser and turned my phone on. Izaya's number was still sitting in my 'Calls Received' box.

Quietly, I left the room and walked outside. The cold morning air hit me in the face, making me shiver and wish I would have thought to grab a jacket.

Would he even be up this early? He seemed more like a night owl to me.

Taking a deep breath, I called the number.

It rang once.

Twice.

Thrice.

And went to voice mail.

Scowling, I ended the call. I guess I could always call later.

I walked back into the hotel hallway, making my way back to the room and very grateful for the heat. I was only one door away from our room when my phone started ringing.

My eyebrows raised when I saw the number I had just tried to call.

Feeling apprehensive, I brought the phone to my ear.

"Izaya?"

"Well, what do you know. I never thought I'd get a call from you," Izaya said. He sounded sleepy.

Ok, thinking of him in bed was not a good way to start this conversation.

"Never thought I'd be calling you either," I drawled, suddenly irked, and decided to take a direct approach, "When do you go back home?"

I needed to know how much time I had to work with.

"Aaaaaaaah, you break my heart," he whined, and I could just picture the pout on his lips, "Do you want to get rid of me that quickly?"

There was a loud 'ding' down the hall as the elevator came down to this floor. Seeing others up already made me realize I should be quick and get back in the room before Mairu notices I'm gone.

"Will you just answer the question?"

"Was that an elevator? Where are you, Shizu-chan?" I was now sure he was deliberately avoiding my question.

"In a hotel. Now when are you going home?"

There was silence on the other end. My eyebrows scrunched together, and I looked at the phone. The silent treatment? That didn't seem like him.

There was no way that bastard fell back asleep?

"Hotel, huh?" Izaya spat, and I was entirely surprised by his change in attitude, "Then what the hell are you calling me for? Go back to Mairu."

The line went dead.

What the fuck?

I stood there, shocked, listening to the dial-tone. Now he was telling me to go to Mairu? What happened to stopping at nothing to have me?

That... that...

"Fucking bastard," I mumbled, redialing the number.

"What?" Izaya sounded exasperated, as if I was annoying him. My temper flared.

"What's with this attitude? Are you a bitch every morning?"

"Just to those special few."

I'll kill him.

"Why am I even bothering with you?" I asked, mainly to myself, as I leaned against the wall and shook my head.

"Beats me. You have a girlfriend, after all," he replied. I stopped shaking my head.

"... wait, are you jealous?"

"Of fucking course I'm jealous!" Izaya suddenly yelled so loud it made me wince, "I have to force you to let me give you a blow job, and then you happily drag her to a hotel?"

Oh.

There was a strange fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach at the blatant admission of jealousy.

"We didn't do anything, princess," I growled, "Stop jumping to conclusions. Look... damn it, Izaya, I didn't call you to argue with you."

"Mm. You just called to see when I'm gonna be out of your life for good."

"NO, damn it! I wanted..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath, "... twenty questions. We never finished, did we?"

Silence greeted me, and I almost laughed, trying to imagine his bewildered face.

"No?" Izaya spoke uncertainly, and I grinned.

"Right. So. Continuing where we left off," I said, closing my eyes, "No, I'm not in love with Mairu."

More silence.

"... I believe this is where you ask me a question," he finally replied, still seeming vexed but sounding happier.

"I already asked my first question."

"I refuse to answer that one."

"Damn it," I groaned, listening to him chuckle, "Ok then, bastard, why are you going through so much trouble just to get laid?"

Silence was becoming my friend very quickly.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I waited.

"Because I've never wanted someone more in my life."

Though the words made me happy, and sent shivers down my spine, they were not what I was looking for. That still didn't answer if he was just wanting a fuck or not.

"But what do you mean by that? A one-night stand?" I asked, hardly believing myself when the words tumbled out.

"Ah, ah, ah! You're cheating! It's my turn to ask a question now!"

He would just blow off my serious question to play the stupid game right.

"But I'm happy," he said softly, "You've been thinking about me."

I felt my ears grow hot.

"Oh! Sorry, Shizu-chan, but I'm getting another call that's kinda important. Keep thinking about me kay?"

Before I could even reply, the line went dead once again. I had a sneaking suspicion he had made that whole scenario up, just so I wouldn't have the chance to ask anymore questions.

Sighing, I pocketed the phone, and stared at no particular spot in the hallway.

Why wouldn't he tell me when he was leaving? He better not up and leave on me.

But he had to stay until his 'goal' was accomplished, right? And then after that...

I scratched the back of my head as I returned to the hotel room.

Mairu was already up, busily braiding her hair in front of the mirror.

"Morning," I greeted, shutting the door behind me. She gave me a quick glance and went back to braiding.

"Morning," she mumbled. I was taken aback by the dull greeting, but I just assumed it was part of the tension of last night and grabbed my things. It wasn't until we were walking out of the hotel that I knew something was wrong.

"You don't have to walk me home," Mairu said with a small smile that seemed entirely fake.

"Er... since it's daytime, I guess that's ok," I replied. If I didn't know any better, that last second I saw her eyes before she turned her back to me, they were wet.

I had to bite down on my lip to stop from running after her.

Time. She needed time to get over this. I couldn't do anything else for her.

Well...

I called Kururi later that day, explaining the situation (minus Izaya) and told her to look out for her sister. She seemed a little upset with me, but thanked me for telling her.

I spent the rest of the day resting at home, feeling tempted to call Izaya back, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Wanting to talk to him, see him, thinking about him all the time... it was actually starting to scare me. I was getting too attached before I even knew if I should.

What made him so special anyway? I had just met him seventeen days ago, seen him a grand total of three times during those days and talked to him on the phone twice, and I knew nothing about him. Yet he had weaved his way into my heart. How fucked up was that?

But I guess it went along with my beliefs. No need to go searching for others, the people who are meant to be in your life will stumble into it somehow.

Izaya did more than stumble. He waltzed right in and took over.

I chuckled at the thought, throwing an arm over my eyes. It was late, and I was lying in bed with the blankets bundled around me. With another day off from work tomorrow, I had no idea what I was going to do. Maybe I could call Kasuka; I hadn't talked to him in quite some time. Last I heard, he was fixing to do a photo shoot. I don't know how that brother of mine could stand all that fame and attention.

I shifted on my side, my eyelids drooping heavily. As always, my mind traveled back to Izaya, just like he had asked me too. That man really did always get what he wanted.

His playful smirk was the last thing I imagined before the world went black.