Here I come to potentially disappoint again. Yes, it's another one of my infamous twist-ish endings.

Please enjoy me crushing any and all hopes and dreams.


"You'd never think of Jews as backstabbers," Pierce insensitively grumbled as he entered the study room, offending most of the group (including the Jewish member). "Lousy, money-grubbing, Streisand worshipping-"

"What did they do now Hitler?" Jeff asked him as he diverted his attention to his blackberry.

"Well I've been all set for the Jurassic Park thing on my private island but thanks to an 'anonymous tip', Spielberg found out and he's suing me. I brought up the fact that he owes me and favor and he had the nerve to say he paid his debt twenty years ago and I still owed him." Pierce huffed. "He's agreed not to drop all charges if I stop the park entirely."

"Will you still be able to keep your private island?" Abed inquired.

"Yes, but I'll have nothing to do with it. Ugh, the drawbacks of having one's own private island. Having one and having nothing to do with it."

"You poor baby," Shirley bitterly remarked.

"You ever think of turning it into a vacation spot?" Jeff suggested. "Maybe make it like a honeymoon getaway like they did with a private island in one of those stupid Twilight movies." Everyone gave him a surprised look. "I know I took pride in not having read or seen anything in the Twilight series but I unfortunately lost a bet and had to see the first part of the last one. I regret everything."

"Aw," Troy was upset, "I always wanted to live out a 90's Blockbuster Movie," he opened his binder and looked at a piece of paper to the side. "And if I did Jurassic Park that would have cleared up Blockbuster movie, dinosaur movie, fun yet frightening adventure movie, and movie directed by Spielberg."

"Well," Pierce pulled movie tickets out of his pocket and handed one to Troy, "as a sign of good faith Steven gave me four free tickets for the 3-D release at midnight. I suppose it'll come close to experiencing the real thing. You want one A-bed?"

"Cool," Abed excitedly took the ticket.

"Two more left. Britta, you like free stuff. Would you like a free ticket?"

"As tempting as that seems," Britta sarcastically began, "I'm afraid I can't take the free ticket. I'm banned from ever seeing a 3-D movie after this one incident where I saw How to Train Your Dragon in 3-D after smoking a bunch of pot. Needless to say I'm not proud of what I did, but at least I'm still allowed in the theatre. I just can't see anything in 3-D."

"I'm afraid I have to decline too," Shirley declined. "It's been very hard for me to go to the movies by myself or without friends without my boys finding out and getting jealous. Besides, Andre and I promised to take them to see this movie Saturday afternoon and I'm going to need all the rest I can get the night before."

"Well then congratulations Annie and Jeffrey," Pierce slid the tickets to them. "It looks like you'll be joining Troy and A-bed on their movie date."

"He's just jealous," Troy whispered to Abed.

"Thank you Pierce," Annie slid the ticket back, "but I don't know if I should go."

"Have you ever been to a midnight showing before?"

"Yes, but not for a movie like this."

Abed's eyes widened. "You've never seen Jurassic Park!"

The table erupted in a cacophony of "You haven't seen Jurassic Park?" (Shirley) "What is wrong with you?" (Troy) "Everyone has seen that movie!" (Pierce) and "Sheesh Annie what planet have you been living on?" (Britta).

Annie was a bit stung. "Well I'm sorry!"

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Jeff questioned back at her. "So you've never seen it, so what? It took me twelve years after I graduated high school to finally watch A Christmas Story the whole way through." Everyone, Annie included, began to boo him. "What? I could never get through it because I thought it was boring. Just because it's on twenty-four hours at Christmas time doesn't mean you have to watch it. If anything it makes me not want to watch it. And I'm sure there are movies you guys put off watching until years later."

"No," Abed replied back.

"I meant everyone besides the movie watching robot. Come on, admit it."

Britta sighed in defeat. "Fine! I admit I'm the only girl I know who hasn't seen Steel Magnolias."

Troy's mouth dropped in shock. "You haven't seen…why haven't you told me this?"

"Because I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"Uh yeah, it is." Troy started packing up his stuff. "Come on, we're going to go watch that movie," he grabbed Britta by the arm and practically dragged her out. "See you later guys!"

Shirley started getting ready to leave too. "I should probably do that too. See, I recorded the new Lifetime version of Steel Magnolias with Queen Latifah and an all-black cast of actresses including the woman who played Clair Huxtable. I've been putting it off for other things, but I suppose I should watch that. I'll see everyone tomorrow; have fun at your movie."

Pierce scoffed as he got up. "Why is it that those people have to ruin classics?"

Annie gasped in offense. "Pierce!"

"Oh, that sounded wrong, didn't it? Annie, Honey, I'm not talking about the blacks."

"Oh."

"I'm talking about the women. I'm going to go home and watch a man's movie," Pierce left.

Abed put his messenger bag around his shoulders. "I'm going back to the apartment to find my Jurassic Park shirt that I got back in '93. It should still fit; I was pretty tall as a child. See you two at the movies."

When they were alone, Jeff began to laugh. "You seriously haven't seen Jurassic Park?"

"Well it took you forever to see A Christmas Story!"

"I still can't believe you guys bought that!" Annie gasped. "I saw that when it first came on TV in the 80's." She hit him. "OW!"

"You deserve that."

"Yeah, probably. At least it got the rest of them off your back and you're welcome for that."

"Jeff, is Jurassic Park scary?"

"Not really, no. Is that why you put it off, because you were scared?"

"One of the reasons. I also thought the movie looked kinda dumb."

"Seriously? Wow, what planet are you from?"

"Don't tease me or I'll tell everyone I'm the reason you had to see Breaking Dawn Part 1."

Jeff smirked at her. "I've taught you well young grasshopper."

Back at Casa de Trobed, Abed had found his shirt, and then soon found himself watching Steel Magnolias with Troy and Britta.

"What?" they had reached a pivotal point in the movie that seemed to anger Britta. "They're seriously going to kill her off? Ugh, why?"

"Because they like to toy with our emotions," Troy sobbed as Abed handed him a tissue. "Thank you Abed."

"Predictable garbage," she reached for a drink.

"How are you not crying at this?"

"Abed isn't crying."

"I've seen this exactly twenty-one times," Abed informed. "Plus I rarely show emotion."

"Whatever, this movie's stupid," Britta just kept watching as Troy and Abed held hands. Britta took notice and just rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Troy and Abed watching chick flicks."


Again, had to end with Troy and Abed somehow. Also kinda wanted to do a little movie tribute on Roger Ebert's behalf. While I'm sad he's passed, it's nice to know he's back with Siskel. RIP Roger, and thank you.

And yeah, the 3-D release of Jurassic Park came out today (as well as an article from People about what happened to the kids- and boy has puberty has been kind to Joseph Mazzello). I originally didn't know about this until a friend brought it to my attention and I thought it'd be kind of ironic to end it today.

Well, my seemingly insane idea didn't turn out so bad now did it? I really appreciate you guys for reading and reviewing. Thanks again for sticking with me. Peace out!