Ouran High School Host Club Fanfiction
Chapter Nine: Twins Are Always Gonna Be Twins
Word Count: 4, 245
Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC or any of its characters, even Usa-chan. What I do own though are my OCs.
~.^.^.~
It already hosting time, and all of the other hosts, including me, were busy in entertaining guests. This time, I had girl guests; we were currently talking about my cooking skills.
One of my female guests spoke up. "Kairi-chan, why did you know how to cook? Don't you have your own personal chef at home?"
I glanced at Honey who has no guests at the moment. I turned back to my guests smiled. "Well, when I was young, about six years old to be exact, me and my twin sister secretly requested the head of the desserts section in our kitchen, chef Etsuya or Etsu-sensei, to teach how to cook sweets. We usually wake up very early, maybe about 4 AM, just so that we could learn to cook our favorite dishes." I paused to look at my guests who nodded.
I continued. "Eventually, we were also taught how to cook other dishes that aren't desserts by Etsu-sensei too. We thought that our parents didn't know a thing about this, but a few months ago, they revealed to us that they knew our secret all along, but decided not to tell us just to see our reaction. My twins' face is so priceless!" I finished as I laughed at the memory.
The guests also seemed to laugh. Another guest spoke up. "You sure are happy in your whole life, huh Kairi-chan?"
I shook my head. "No, I also experienced some bad things, you know. Like the time when-"
I was suddenly cut off by Kyō-chan. "I'm sorry ladies; but it is time for you to go. Please come again tomorrow if you like to talk to Kairi-senpai more."
The guests sighed in disappointment as they left but waved their hands at me. "Kairi-chan! See you tomorrow! Let's talk about the bad things in our lives next!"
I also waved. "Sure thing!"
Kyō-chan smiled at them one more time before turning at me. "You really did a great job in hosting, Kairi-senpai. Both male and female seem to request you often. Keep it up." He finished as he walked away with his black notebook.
I beamed. Kyō-chan actually praised me! Suddenly, I heard someone giggling. When I turned to see who it was, I blushed and automatically played with my hair.
It was Honey, waving at me with a flowery grin. "Kai-chan! Now that you're done with your guests, please eat cake with us!" Actual translation: Come here immediately.
I laughed before finally approaching Honey and Takashi.
~.^.^.~
I was suddenly interested at what the twins are doing. They were both wearing green hats. What are they doing? Let's might as well check out.
When I got close to them, they both dragged me into the couch that they were currently sitting at. I was surprised to see Haru-chan there as well.
She sweatdropped. "They also got you?"
I nodded, also sweatdropping. "Yeah, although I really don't know why."
Suddenly, the twins whispered in both of my ears. "You'll see."
I jumped in surprise at the contact. "What are you gonna do?"
"Let's play the 'which one is Hikaru' game!" They both chorused. Their guests clapped and giggled. I think the guests don't even know which one is Hika-chan; they both look very identical. But I can easily distinguish them; I have a twin myself.
The twins both stood up. "Well then, can you tell which one is Hikaru?"
One of their guests spoke up. "Oh, that's so hard."
Another spoke up. "You two look so identical." Well, that's what most of the other people tell me and Hai-chan every time they see us. The only ones who can really distinguish us are You-chan and Yuri-chan. Since he really knows me all too well, he can guess who I am thus making him also guess who Hai-chan is, while Yuri-chan is vice versa. The others, well, let's just say they are still trying to figure out which is which between the both of us.
"So far, no one has been able to really tell who's who." They both chorused. Well, if you have siblings, it might break your record.
"What a worthless game." The ever-so-blunt Haru-chan stated.
The twins quickly approached us. "What? Is there something you don't like about it?"
"Actually," she faced the twins. "I still don't get it why you two are popular." Ouch?
"Oh, that's really something nice to say." The twins said sarcastically with a nonchalant expression. They scooted near to Haru-chan.
"It really seems that Haruhi…" Hika-chan started.
"…does not understand the benefits of us, the twins, in the host club." Kao-chan finished.
Hika-chan spoke again. "Listen, just the fact that we're both handsome types and homos scores a lot of points. And while our act that swings between friendship and homo is favorable enough…"
"…in our case, we use the highest taboo of us being twins as our biggest weapon." Kao-chan finished. Yeah, you know, you can both use that to beat me in a karate competition. I agree to the fact that they are truly handsome guys, but the homos score a lot of points? I really can't imagine them as openly real gay guys.
They went to one of their guest who was sitting at a fancy-looking chair and went near to both of her ears. Hika-chan started again as he placed his hand on the girl's chin. "On top of that, this setup of also being loved simultaneously by these two tightly bonded twins…"
"…is a maiden's ultimate romance, right?" Kao-chan finished as he also placed his hand at the girl's chin.
The girl stuttered. "Eh… Ehh… Eh? Me?" She suddenly squealed. "I can't take this anymore!"
Her fellow guests also squealed. I rolled my eyes, seeing that this has nothing to do with me at all, and began to walk back to Kyō-chan to see if someone had requested me.
The red-headed twins suddenly placed their arms around my waist. "By the way Kairi-senpai, you announced earlier that you had a twin sister. Has someone already guessed which one of you is which?" Announced? I just talked about it with my guests earlier, how did they hear it?
I just nodded. "Actually, there are already two people who guessed us. It was our younger brother and sister, who are also twins, fraternal twins to be specific. Besides them, no one else; even our parents."
They had a surprised look in their face. "Well then Kairi-senpai, how about…" Hika-chan started.
"You play our game?" Kao-chan finished.
"The 'which one is Hikaru' game!" They both chorused.
I was about to reply when Tama-chan appeared in front of us with an angry face. "Hikaru! Kaoru!"
"I let you maintain the club's webpage on the condition you guys would take it seriously, right?!" He said as he went closer to us.
"Yeah, we are doing it seriously." Hika-chan started with a nonchalant expression.
"We were up until early morning yesterday." Kao-chan finished with the same nonchalant expression.
"And this is the graphic you guys came up with?!" Tama-chan said angrily while showing the laptop in our faces. When I saw it, I laughed hard. Really hard.
Tama-chan showed us a picture of Haru-chan topless, only the body was of a man's. I think it was Tama-chan's body.
The subject of the matter seemed to tense up and sweatdrop, making me laugh even harder.
Suddenly, Honey appeared and spoke up. "Haru-chan, you're so cool!" I was already gasping for air while laughing. I think I'm gonna die today.
"Kai-chan, why are you laughing?" Honey asked as he went in front of me.
I manage to blurt out a few words. "The – pic – so – funny!"
Tama-chan went close to me. "Onee-chan, you also have one." He said as he continued to cry.
With that, my laughter quickly went down. Honey was grinning widely. "Let me see! Let me see!"
When Tama-chan showed the laptop to us, my whole face became as red as a tomato.
"H-how did th-that g-get there?!" I said as I stuttered, still with my face red.
Honey was staring at the picture blankly. I began to feel hot from embarrassment. I want to bury myself alive!
When the twins looked at the picture, they looked shocked. "Wow, Kairi-senpai. You actually look so cute in a bikini."
I covered my face. Yeah, you heard them. I also happened to be blushing at the picture while looking somewhere else. The picture was taken when I was a second year at Lobelia's. We had a school field trip at a beach, and that idiot Benio suggested the idea of having me wear a bikini to my mom, and unfortunately, mom agreed enthusiastically. I really said no, but she told me if I don't wear it, she'll prevent me from eating sweets for life. But my mom took this picture; how did it reach here?
I looked at the twins with a glare. "Where did you get this?"
They backed away. "We didn't get this, we just saw this picture!" They chorused while waving their hands frantically.
I began to think. Hmm, who could it be? Unless mom gave it to one of the hosts or…
"I was the one who got it, Kairi-senpai." Kyō-chan said nonchalantly. Of course, it has to be him.
Suddenly, Tama-chan appeared with a wide smile on his face and looked at us. Since when did he stop crying? "Kyōya, where have you got this?"
"I have my own sources." Kyō-chan replied while light glinted from his glasses. Thank you, Kyō-chan, for everything.
Honey suddenly appeared in front of me and had a flowery grin on his face. "Wow, Kai-chan! You look so cute in that bikini! You should wear one next time when we're all together!"
My heart started pounding like crazy. Why the heck is this happening?!
"Ah… um…" I managed to stutter.
He giggled and hugged me. "You're so adorable, Kai-chan!"
I automatically played with my hair. Gah! Heart, stop beating! But then again, if you stop, I'll die, right?
~.^.^.~
"Don't go spinning this. Hikaru, I'm the one who was always going along, playing your selfish games, right?" Kao-chan snapped.
"I may be the one to suggest them, but you're the one who gets into them, Kaoru. If you don't like them, then just stop. What are you, stupid?" Hika-chan shot back.
Kao-chan frowned at him. "You're too stupid to see it for yourself, Hikaru. Like how, even as you were calling her a toy, you were so quick to make some sort of pass at her. Hikaru, you really are in love with Haruhi, aren't you?" Um, you're giving away Haru-chan's gender… There are guests here…
Hika-chan looked away at Kao-chan and blushed. "Huh?!"
Tama-chan suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "What?"
Okay? So what just happened here? After that topless and bikini thing, it all turned out to be like this? Wow, time seems to fly by so fast. This all started when Haru-chan had told the twins the reason why she had guessed them, so I think Haru-chan is the actual root of the problem; not that she meant to do this on purpose.
Hika-chan continued. "H-hey, you've got it all wrong! You really are an idiot, Kaoru!" Kao-chan just frowned and closed his eyes.
"Yeah! There are some things you can say and can't say in this world!" Tama-chan said frantically. What's his problem?
"For one thing, how is it that I would fall for that little tanuki?" Hika-chan said as Kao-chan continued to ignore him and was crossing his arms.
"What do you mean by calling Haruhi a little tanuki?!" Tama-chan yelled at Hika-chan. Man, he keeps on interrupting the two.
"Fantastic, this is fantastic!" a voice suddenly said. Suddenly, the ground rumbled and Renge-chan appeared from the underground. Uh, this is a music room, not a stage. And this place is like, several floors from the ground floor.
"A beautiful, yet poignant four-sided relationship around Haruhi-kun! What's more, two of the figures are twins bogged down by this development!" She said as the ground stopped rumbling and her 'stage' appeared. "Renge could eat three bowls of rice over this!" She finished as she held her hands together and blushed. Heh, I could actually eat three whole cakes over this. I mean, I need a break. I'm so damn confused right now. From the topless and bikini accident to this? Oh! I might also need three liters of water!
"You stay out of this, otaku." The twins chorused.
"How mean! What a mean thing to say to your manager!" Renge-chan cried as the twins ran away from her.
Suddenly, Tama-chan spoke up and sweatdropped. "Renge-kun, I thought you liked Haruhi, too."
Renge-chan blushed and looked at him. "That's another matter. Everyone knows that there's always more room for homosexual relationship these days." Tama-chan continued to sweatdrop.
Haru-chan interrupted the both of them and spoke up. "For that matter, I thought you'd gone home to France."
Renge-chan continued to blush. "Well, it's too soon to start a host club in France, and it wouldn't go over." With that, Haru-chan also sweatdropped.
"Enough already!" We all looked back at the twins, who seemed to be fighting again. "You're always getting into my bed! You're such a pest!" Hika-chan finished.
"That's because you seem so lonely, Hikaru." Kao-chan reasoned out as he gritted his teeth. "I had no choice but to sleep with you, idiot!"
Suddenly, I heard the girls squealing. I think they thought that this is just another 'brotherly love' act.
"What are you calling an idiot?! You're doing worse in a number of classes!" Hika-chan snapped. Okay, from Haru-chan to classes… I should really take for five cakes and liters of water later.
"Look who's talking, Hikaru! Maybe you should study linguistics more!" Kao-chan shot back. Kyō-chan was just looking at the whole situation with a poker face. Suddenly he got his black notebook and a pen and started writing something (we all don't know) with a worried look in his face.
"You grind your teeth too loud!"
"Who is it that tosses in their sleep and falls out of bed?!"
"Sex pixie!"
"Sicko!"
"Your mama wears too much makeup!" They both chorused. I sweatdropped. You both have the same mom.
"We're through!" Wait a minute; I think that there's something wrong with this stuff…
The rest of us had different expressions. Haru-chan kinda had a 'what the heck have I just seen?' look in her face while Tama-chan had a confused expression in his face while sweatdropping. Honey was crying, Takashi merely sweatdropped, Kyō-chan had a hint of confusion in his face while I was deep in my thoughts about something. Hmm…
~.^.^.~
It was already lunch time, so it was time to go to the refectory. Tama-chan and Kyō-chan decided to join in with us third years on going there, because they were worried for the twins' (and Haru-chan's) sake. I'm not worried at all though; because I know what they're up to, but I decided to play along instead. When we arrived, we saw Hika-chan and Kao-chan fight at the counter and Haru-chan just nearby.
Tama-chan decided this as the 'perfect timing' to go in to the refectory. "I thought it was getting noisy in here. Are you two still fighting? You're embarrassing the Host Club."
Suddenly the girls squealed, while the guys blushed and looked at me. "It's the host club."
"Oh my, the Host Club!"
"Kairi-chan's here!" I sweatdropped. I hope they won't follow me wherever I go after this.
"The boys and the only girl from the Host Club are all here!" Um, it's actually two.
Honey suddenly approached the twins with a piece of strawberry shortcake. "Okay, break! You're both to blame for this fight." He held out the strawberry shortcake to them. "Hika-chan and Kao-chan, go halfsies on this cake, and make up! Okay?" What? They get to eat it? That's so unfair! "Oh, but I want to eat some, too, so I guess we have to go thirdsies." He then looked at me. "But then, Kai-chan wants to eat cake too, so let's go fourthsies instead!"
I quickly beamed and went to them. "Really?"
He nodded. "Yup! But then we can't split the strawberry, so I'll get it instead, because I love strawberries! But Kai-chan also loves to eat strawberries, so let's have it in halfies, 'kay Kai-chan?"
I grinned. "Sure thing!"
Suddenly, Takashi carried the both of us away from the twins. "The both of you are making the situation worse, so please stop."
I looked at the uneaten strawberry shortcake. Poor you, you have been forgotten. "Honey, how about we go halfsies on this cake?"
He looked at me with a flowery smile. "Of course, Kai-chan! But what about the strawberry?" He finished as he looked at the strawberry. I also looked at the strawberry. We were like that for a minute before I snapped.
"You can have the strawberry. I'll just make up for the strawberry you ate later at home."
He looked at me then at the strawberry. He looked back again at me and grinned. "Hey, Kai-chan? How about I eat the strawberry first and you go next? In that way, we can still go halfsies for the strawberry!"
I blushed. "Really? You won't mind at all?"
He giggled. "Of course not, silly!" He ate the half of the strawberry and gave the other half to me. "Here you go!"
I looked at the half-eaten strawberry for a minute before finally accepting it and eating it. I smiled.
Honey looked at me with a wide grin. "Do you like it?"
I nodded vigorously. "Yep! Now let's go eat the cake, 'kay?"
He also nodded vigorously. "Okay!"
We were about to eat the already sliced cake when I was dragged by Kao-chan while Honey got dragged by Hika-chan. They then threw both of us. Takashi quickly caught the two of us and was also thrown back. Tama-chan, who had food on his face, was apparently thrown too. Sigh, when will these guys end up this silly game of theirs?
~.^.^.~
Hosting time was now finished, and we are currently sitting at a long table drinking tea, except for the twins. Tama-chan gave off a sigh, while Kyō-chan was calculating numbers at his calculator. Haru-chan seems to look at the window; Honey was swinging his feet back and forth, while Takashi was just staring of at nowhere. I, on the other hand, looked relaxed and was drinking my tea. I don't see the point of worrying; the only thing I'm a bit alarmed about is when they are going to blow up their cover.
"If this situation continues, we're going to have to stop offering the brotherly love package. Our designee rate is definitely down." Kyō-chan stated as he was still calculating stuff. See? This is the stuff that I'm a bit alarmed of. Even though I hate their incest, I still don't want them to disappear at the club.
"Oh, Haruhi, this isn't something that you should feel responsible for. Even though your thoughtless comment was the cause of this fight. Don't worry about cleaning the dining hall, either." Kyō-chan said as he gave Haru-chan his creepy smile. He means the exact opposite of what he's saying and he completely blames Haru-chan for all of this (which is quite true). I think he'll add this to Haru-chan's debt. Sigh.
"Hika-chan and Kao-chan fighting with each other… It's never happened before, huh?" Honey said as he played with Usa-chan's ears. I think they're not fighting. This is all scripted; I think they're just way too far away from what Hai-chan and I can do. Hehe.
"Hn." Takashi replied.
Haru-chan looked at Honey. "Is that right?"
"I've known them since preschool. We weren't in the same year, so I never talked to them. But it seemed like they always played together."
I quickly averted my eyes at him. This makes me remember everything about me and Hai-chan. Please don't make me cry!
"You're right. I've only known them since middle school, but they really stood aloof. It seemed like except for themselves, they kept everyone at a distance. Their personalities were several times more warped than they are now." This is so me and Hai-chan. We also happened to be warped up in our own world, well until You-chan and Yuri-chan slapped some sense to us though. We were like, at the last year of middle school at that time, while they were at their last year at elementary. After that, Hai-chan decided to leave for America and live independently. And here I am right now, still in Japan.
Honey suddenly looked at me. "What's the matter, Kai-chan? Why are you crying?"
When he said that, it was then I felt something wet on my cheeks. I quickly wiped it away. "Oh, this?" I just laughed. "I suddenly remembered something, that's all."
Honey looked convinced and drank his tea. Oh thank goodness. Tama-chan continued. "Thinking about it that way, maybe this fighting is a turn for the better. It means that their world is starting to get larger, doesn't it?" Tama-chan said as he held out his hands. He quickly crossed his hands after. "Maybe it's best to leave them alone, under the circumstances."
I had never experienced fighting with my twin. Just thinking about it makes me cry. Why would we fight? Sigh, but I really do hope Hika-chan and Kao-chan 'make up', though.
~.^.^.~
I and Honey are being thrown again. Just when will they stop doing this and ask Haru-chan? I'm beginning to feel annoyed.
The other hosts looked at us with different expressions. Tama-chan was somewhat panting, while Kyō-chan seemed to be having a worried face while writing at his black notebook. Haru-chan gave us an apologetic look, while Takashi just stood there sweatdropping.
Once they were done throwing us and other things, I and Honey were already at the top of the pile, both with Isa-chan and Usa-chan in our arms.
Tama-chan twitched. "After going this long, haven't you gotten over it yet? You brothers are putting us out."
Hika-chan looked at Tama-chan, frowning. "We're putting you out?! We're putting you out, you say?! You've got to be kidding; I'm the one who's put out! I'm the one who's got the same face as Kaoru." He looked at Kao-chan. "I'm sick and tired of being mistaken for you! The truth is I hate your guts!"
"You took the words right out of my mouth. Look at this, I bought this from Nekozawa-senpai-" Kao-chan said as he took out… Belzenef? What the heck? They actually added that on the script?
Tama-chan looked scared and backed away. Kao-chan also took a marker. "I'm writing your name on the thing's back, Hikaru!" Wow, the climax has arrived. "From here on, you're going to meet with lots of misfortune and sorrow!" Kao-chan said as he began to 'write' Hika-chan's name at the said doll. I could clearly see that he wrote 'blank' on it.
Suddenly, Honey tugged my dress and whispered. "So, Kai-chan, they're acting this all out?"
I nodded. "Yes, took you long enough to know though."
His eyes widen in shock. "You mean you already knew it all along? Why didn't you tell us?"
I laughed. "Well, I wanted to see everyone's reaction of this."
Suddenly, I heard a bang. We looked down only to see Haru-chan punch the heads of Hika-chan and Kao-chan. They deserve it.
"Enough already! You don't go bringing something like this into a simple quarrel! You are both to blame this fight, but you're even more to blame for bothering everyone around you with it!" Well except for me, I had fun. Haru-chan looked at them. "Now say you're sorry! If you don't make up right now, then I'll never let you come over, as long as I live!" Okay I think it's time to cross the line.
I quickly clapped my hands as I got down the pile easily. "Now, what a great show!" The other hosts, except for the twins and Honey, looked confused.
Haru-chan looked at me. "What do you mean by that?"
I looked at the twins, who seemed to have a mischievous smile. "Hika-chan, Kao-chan, just tell them already."
They both nodded. The other hosts seem to be more confused. They stood up in front of Haru-chan. "Then, if we do make up, Haruhi, we can come over to your house, right?" They finished as they placed each other arms into each other shoulders.
"Eh?" Haru-chan said before she looked at the doll. When she saw what was written, she had a surprised look on her face. She then looked at me. "Kairi, you knew all of this all along?"
I gave her a mischievous smile before the twins went to me and gave me a high-five one by one. "Yes, yes I do!"
"But how?" Haru-chan asked, probably still not getting what just happened.
I smirked. This is so like me when Hai-chan is around. "Let's just say I also happened to have a twin, and we also do crazy antics and fake fights."
They all looked at the three of us with shocked faces.
"You were faking the fight all the time?" Tama-chan cried.
"Well, we were bored." They both chorused with a shrug.
Sigh, twins are always gonna be twins.
"Hey! Could somebody put me down here?" Honey suddenly asked. We all sweatdropped.
~.^.^.~
Hi guys! Two chapters a day! Hehe. It's actually because I'm going to be gone at my late grandparent's province since there's gonna be a feast there that will be celebrated for two days, so I'm gonna be gone for two days! I'm going to bring my precious laptop though, but I don't know if wi-fi signals can be reached from there. But anyways, I promise to update as soon as I can! I hope you forgive me! For now, sayonara!
Replies:
loopyhutton: Thank you so much!
Gottaloveastory: Well, Honey actually curses in the manga a few times, try and see for yourself.
~Pokemon Trainer White
