Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Sense of Belonging

Chapter Nine

Michaela could feel his muscles clenching and she pulled him close to her so that she could look right into his eyes, curious about the moment. Now that he lay partially against her chest, she could feel the beat of his heart and the fast rhythm amazed her. Her hands moved down between them as she watched every reaction on his face as if she were an outside observer rather than an active participant. She could tell he was trying to wait for her but the moment was passing. He grunted, whether in pleasure or frustration, she wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry," Sully whispered against her ear placing soft kisses to her neck. Whether from the pent up sexual tension of the previous night or the boldness of Michaela he had found himself unable to hold on.

"Don't apologize." He shifted down resting his head against her abdomen, wanting a moment to catch his breath. Michaela's hand came to naturally rest against his hair, her fingers lightly scratching the scalp. "It was wonderful."

Sully lifted his head slightly looking up at her doubtfully. "But.." Michaela quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

"But it was wonderful," she finished smiling at him. "I've never been so cognizant of what happens when you… uh…well you know." She giggled feeling her cheeks warm. "You make this little sound. No more like a grunt. Oh I don't know how to describe it."

Sully hoisted himself up and over to her side, leaving a leg hooked over hers as he moved. "Well now it's your turn," he whispered his hand already resting on her inner thigh. "You whimper like a puppy."

"I don't," she protested shifting slightly in the bed. "Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, throwing one hand over her mouth.

"I haven't even touched you yet." Sully looked up at her as he spoke and then grew concerned. "You alright?"

Michaela sat up but felt her stomach lurch again and realized she was going to be sick. Pushing Sully completely off of her, she made a mad dash for the bathroom just making it in time to lose the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet. Sully showed up right behind her as she stood and reached for the hand towel. "You alright?" he asked again.

She felt him drape his bathrobe around her shoulders and she silently thanked him. "I'm fine. Could you get me a glass of water?"

"Certainly." He dashed from the bathroom, returning seconds later. Michaela was now sitting on the closed toilet with her head resting in her hands. "Michaela are you sure you're okay?"

She looked up at him slowly. "I feel alright now but I just remembered…" Reaching for the glass of water to stall for time, she took a large gulp.

Sully could see the fear in her eyes though and took her free hand in his as he dropped to his knees in front of her. "Michaela what is it?"

"I just remembered that I haven't taken my birth control for the past two days." Sully hesitated for a moment trying to assess what she was potentially telling him. "With all that has been going on, I guess I forgot."

"Michaela? What are you trying to tell me?"

"Well nothing really. It just occurred to me when I was sick that well…. I mean no birth control is one hundred percent effective." Chewing anxiously on her bottom lip, she looked over at Sully holding her breath for his reaction.

Sully's face was down but he sensed her eyes burning into the top of his head. "If it happens, it happens." He reached over and took the glass from her setting it on the counter.

"But we've never really talked about this."

Taking both of her hands in his now, their eyes met and he felt her relax. "I can't think of anything that would make me happier than you and me having a child together." Michaela's face was frozen in a smile but she never moved, never reacted which made Sully nervous. "If you want that," he added.

The nervous stutter in his voice woke her up. "Of course I want that. I just thought… I didn't know after Abby… Hannah…"

"Michaela you're my second chance. My second chance to do it all right and I will. I promise I will." Michaela moved down into his lap, settling her head under his chin. Sully stilled his lips against her head savoring the moment.

Michaela didn't think she'd ever felt more content until the annoying little thought from earlier returned. What if she was pregnant right now? She was a grown woman with her own life but she knew what this would do to her mother. Tomorrow first thing she would find out for certain but for now she just wanted to be with Sully.


It was late when Sully and Michaela drove back to her apartment. She quickly slipped inside to find his keys and return them to him. They kissed several more times in the hallway, both reluctant to leave the other before Sully finally bid in her farewell. Trudging back inside, Michaela took comfort in the fact that everyone seemed to be asleep. She didn't want to deal with her mother or her sisters for right now, she only wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep.

Yet as she opened the apartment door for the second time, she saw Rebecca trudging back from the kitchen to Michaela's bedroom. "Hey," she said stopping in mid-stride. "We're waiting up for you."

Michaela gave her a weak smile and nodded. "What if I hadn't come home tonight?"

"Then we would have slept in your bed. What is that memory foam?"

"Nice, isn't it?" Michaela asked as she nodded fervently.

She stood only feet away from Rebecca now and her older sister threw an arm around her shoulder. "Come on and get on some pajamas. It's time for some good old fashioned girl talk."

Not knowing exactly what Rebecca had in mind, Michaela complied with her wishes. She quickly changed her clothes and joined her sisters on the bed. "Okay so I'm here," she said pulling one of her pillows into her lap. She looked from Rebecca to Marjorie and then back again, unsure what they were waiting for. "I'm sorry about the scene at the bridal shop," she finally said, her knee bouncing up and down nervously. "I know it wasn't very mature."

"I would say you did pretty well," Marjorie began. "I mean I probably would have thrown something at her."

Michaela smiled but then sighed almost immediately. "Everything's such a mess right now. I don't even know where to begin with mother."

Rebecca and Marjorie exchanged a glance before Rebecca spoke up. "We were talking about that before you came. I think that the two of you just need to have a heart to heart."

"I don't know."

"We do," Marjorie chimed in. "You can talk anyone into anything. Why don't you use that same magic on mother?"

"I guess… I guess I just want her to come around on her own. I want to know that she loves me for who I am. I don't want to have to convince her that I'm worth approving of."

"We're not saying that Michaela. You two keep butting heads but a big part of it is that you simply don't communicate. It was the same way when you were in high school."

"That's true," she admitted. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try and talk to her."

Squeezing her in the middle, Rebecca and Marjorie hugged their little sister, both feeling confident that things were on the upswing.


Sully turned off the car and sat staring at the shop for a moment. Looking down at the address once more, he confirmed he was at the right location. The windows were full of frill and lace which were normally enough to send him running in the other direction but not today. Slipping in the front door, he fought his way through what seemed like endless racks of dresses looking for anything that might resemble a counter.

"May I help you?" a salesclerk said emerging from behind a clearance rack.

Sully ran a hand through his hair as he nodded. "Last night my fiancé was in here trying on dresses."

A look of recognition showed on the clerk's face. "Dr. Quinn?" she asked. "Everyone left so hastily. I wasn't sure what to do so I put the dresses on hold again."

"Yeah, umm… things are kind of complicated right now. But here's the thing, you don't happen to know which dress she liked do you?"

"The Vera Wang," she replied happily. "It's white with…"

Sully interrupted her. "I don't think I'm supposed to know," he laughed. "I just want to buy the dress."

Smiling widely, the salesclerk led him back to the counter pulling out the ticket from the night before. "I don't know what the alterations will cost yet but we can take care of those later." She turned to the register as she spoke, punching in several numbers. "Will this be cash or charge?"

"Cash," Sully replied pulling out his checkbook. He looked at the registry, grateful for Michaela's rent check which would hopefully cover the cost of the gown.

"It will be two thousand three hundred and twenty four dollars."

Sully's head shot up. "For one gown?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. "It's a Vera Wang design."

"Right," Sully commented wondering who in the world Vera Wang was. "On second thought, it'll be charge."