Epilogue:

I will not take these things for granted

"...so I asked about the griffon, but she said no." Merrill finished telling a story that Hawke wasn't entirely sure what it was about.

"So you're feeling better then?" Hawke asked the mage, taking a stab at her real purpose for visiting.

Merrill nodded cheerily from her bed in the Hanged Man.

True to his word, Varric had rented the room across from his for Merrill. The signs of his visitations were plain to see; a deck of cards, an empty mug in a corner, a small chair near the bed. Hawke was touched that Varric was so tender with Merrill.

Signs of Isabela's care were present as well; Merrill's hair was tied back in a patterned scarf, Merrill's drawers were partly open (what clothing of Merrill's Isabela hoped to fit herself into, was beyond Hawke's imagination) and a set of throwing knives and target completed the picture for Hawke.

It had been three days since their return to Kirkwall. Hawke had spent the past two days asleep, with occasional bathroom and food breaks. Leandra had been beside herself, alternately dotting on her eldest and berating her for being careless. Hawke had nodded sagely and kept to her bed. The speedy healing brought on by magic and potions had a price, and Hawke felt completely drained. After sleeping two days away, she had puttered around the house for a third, receiving visits from Anders, Varric and Isabela. Bethany told her that Aveline had come by the previous day while Hawke slept. Hawke asked about her friends and everyone told her how Merrill was doing. No one had managed to see Fenris. Varric said that he'd been by the mansion but no one had opened the door for him. Isabela had smiled seductively and said she had agreed with Varric to break in the next day if the elf didn't answer. "I hope he isn't decent." She had purred while Varric grinned in expectation of amusement.

It was late afternoon and Hawke had become restless. Being coddled snugly in the bosom of her family was starting to get on her nerves. She loved them dearly, but she had heard all she could stand about getting the Amell estate back and the injustices that had been done to their noble family. She had quietly gathered her things and taken Monster with her. She wanted to stretch her legs and see her friends on her own terms.

Her first stop had been the Hanged Man, which currently contained the highest concentration of her friends in the city, besides being a stone's throw from Gamlen's hovel. She had shared a drink with Varric and got a provocative hug and kiss from Isabela. Upstairs, she had spent about an hour chatting with Merrill. She promised to be back soon and started the somewhat tedious slog to Hightown.

Her worn armor and mabari got her non-too friendly looks from the people in Hightown. The guards, much more apparent here than anywhere else in the city, gave her suspicious looks. She held her head up the way her mother did when she was being all highborn about something. 'Eat the Amell stare, snobs' She thought smugly as she swaggered down the streets. She wondered when Aveline got off duty. She'd make her way to the barracks later. Right now she was curious (and a wee bit concerned) about Fenris.

The entrance to his mansion looked as uninviting as ever. There were no lights apparent from outside. Dirt and odd bits of refuse had seemingly washed up on his doorstep. The place looked abandoned.

Hawke knocked politely in the huge oak door. The sound seemed to disappear even as she made it. She made a face at the door. Making a proper fist she banged forcefully on the door, satisfied at hearing her banging echo inside the big house.

'He's had to have heard that.' she thought as she waited for an answer. Monster sniffed around the entrance, snuffling excitedly at something and then abandoning it. Hawke waited for long minutes. She waved at a pair of Chantry sisters who gave her curious looks on their way to Evensong.

Hawke banged on the door again. The mabari ran a bird off the property.

Still nothing from within.

She sat for a bit on the stone bench by the entrance. Monster put his big head on her lap. She petted him idly while she waited for Fenris.

Hawke's patience was running out. She stood up and banged on the door with renewed vigor.

"FENRIS!" she shouted at the house as she pounded on the door. She was beginning to warm up to Isabela's plan to pick the lock when she noted that the downstairs windows were unbarred.

No signs of life from within.

She considered this new plan as she looked around. People were either at the Chantry service or catching the last sales of the day at the market. The area around Fenris' mansion was momentarily deserted.

'Now or never. I can always say I thought he was in danger.' Hawke thought to herself, anticipating Fenris' anger over what she was about to do. She took her double handed axe from its halter on her back and swung it into one of the windows.

The sound of shattering glass seemed to reverberate across the city. Hawke stood wide-eyed and guilty-looking for a few seconds. When no one responded to her destruction of private property, she turned to the window and shimmied in as quickly as her cumbersome equipment would allow. 'I get it now why rogues don't wear heavy armor. Uff!' She thought as she landed on broken glass and dirt. She opened the door and let her mabari in. She shut the door and turned her attention to the dark house.

If the outside was uninviting, the inside positively shouted GET OUT. Magically preserved corpses still littered the entrance. Paintings askew on walls and broken house-wares gave the place its distinctive haunted-house flair.

Hawke took a deep breath and strode onward, to the great room where she had visited with Fenris the few times she had been here before. She suspected it had been a ballroom in a previous life, but it was the only space in the house that looked remotely lived-in.

Reaching the top of the stairs without being yelled at or attacked by the elf was starting to make her nervous. 'Maybe he really is hurt. He'd be here all alone, no one would hear if he called for help. Why didn't I insist he stay at the Hanged Man, or with us at Gamlen's? Anywhere but here, all by himself...' She began to worry herself into a knot, her mind conjuring all sorts of horrible fates that Fenris may have tragically met in her absence.

The giant fireplace only sported a few determined embers till smoldered weakly. The room looked empty. Hawke looked around anticipating the worst. 'Slavers got him! None of us were paying attention! How will we ever find him in Tevinter?' Hawke's imagination was having a field day until she spotted a familiar hand overhanging from the ragged bed in the corner. Relief and anger clashed in her heart. 'Why didn't he wake up? I certainly haven't been quiet.' She frowned and moved towards the bed with trepidation. Fenris gave no sign of movement.

"Fenris?" she called from the middle of the room. She didn't think he was the type of person you woke up by jumping into the bed and singing rude songs at them (Thanks Carver).

Monster moved next to the cot and sniffed the hand and stuck his head into the bed. Hawke moved closer, hoping to save her dog from getting eviscerated by the elf. Nobody likes being woken by dog-nose. Nobody.

As she approached she saw Fenris on the bed, looking like a rag doll a child discarded carelessly. His armor was off, even though he still wore his leather vest and leggings. His arms were splayed out, legs akimbo. Hawke frowned to see him like that. It didn't seem like a position conducive to good sleep.

Hawke was wondering how to wake the elf without getting killed for her trouble, when her mabari simply barked in Fenris' ear.

Incredibly, all this managed was to get a groan from Fenris.

Hawke didn't like this one bit. She got over her fear and knelt by his bedside to shake him. After a while he half opened his eyes, blearily trying to focus on her face.

"H-Hawke?" he managed softly.

"Fenris! What's happened to you?" Hawke said as she fussed over her friend. She stood and grabbed hold of his hands, pulling him into a sitting position. He struggled to comply, his eyes closing of their own accord. As she moved him she saw something slide behind him in the bed.

She reached for it and brought up a small brown bottle. The florid label stated it was one of Lady Elegant's concoctions, touting pain relief and rest. The bottle said one dose was one eight of the total contents. Having worked with Elegant before, she was fairly sure this was a version of her tranquilizer poison. The bottle was empty.

"Maker's mercy Fenris, did you take all this?" She asked, holding the bottle in front of his face. He blinked forcefully and nodded "Arm hurt after practice. Needed something." He said muzzily.

"Didn't you read the label? You took eight doses! It's a miracle you're alive! I'm taking you to Anders right now!" She said hefting his arm across her shoulders. He was a LOT heavier than he looked.

"M'sorry. Wanted t'be ready." He said as he tried to help himself.

"Ready for what? Anders and Beth told us to rest for a few days." She growled as she tried to imagine how to get the drugged elf through Hightown, Lowtown and the twisting passages of Darktown. It was not possible. 'If you can't get Andraste to Tevinter, bring Tevinter to Andraste.' She thought. She set Fenris in a chair by the fireplace. She made her way to front door and opened it.

"Monster! C'mere boy. Go get Anders. Bring Anders here." She ordered the mabari. The smart creature gave a short bark and ran out towards Lowtown. She went back to Fenris.

He had put hands over his face and was rubbing his eyes vigorously. She gave him her water skin. He fumbled with the stopper and she helped him with it. He drank the water, looking grateful and ashamed at the same time.

"Tell me what happened. I don't think you should go back to sleep." She said irritably. Why in the world would he do this?

He swallowed and forced his eyes to focus on hers. "I wanted to be sure I could wield my sword, so I was practicing. I practiced a lot yesterday. Afterwards my arm and shoulder hurt too much to sleep. I went to Elegant and she sold me the potion. I thought one bottle was the dose. I'm sorry Hawke. I wanted to be ready if we were going to battle. I owe you so much." He dropped his gaze and shook his head.

"Hey, hey, don't beat yourself up so much. I'm just worried. That much tranquilizer could have killed you! I'm going to sock Elegant! I'm going to sock you when you recover!" she seethed.

"I'm hard to kill." He chuckled, looking at his lyrium traced arms. "You can hit me if you want. It's what I deserve." he said forebodingly, his fey mood slipping into something dark she didn't recognize. He looked like his soul was draining out of him.

Then it came to her. 'Maker, that's slave-Fenris talking! I think I'm going to be sick.' She felt her heart wrench at seeing the change in her friend. She shook his shoulders, forcing him to look at her again.

"Hey, none of that! You are no one's property to be bandied about that way. Snap out of it! Hey, I broke your window to get in! Get mad!" she said trying to get a rise out of him.

"My window? What did my window do?" He said looking confused. She sat on the floor in front of him.

"It was in my way. I needed to see my dear friend, who clearly should not be left to convalesce on his own." She said, taking his hands in hers. He looked puzzled, looking from their hands to her face, like none of it made any sense.

"Why do you consider me your friend? What can I offer you other than my sword?" he said, voicing what he had most likely been thinking since they had met.

"Fenris you are outspoken, intelligent, and brave, just to scratch the surface. You have a wicked sense of humor you try to keep hidden, also you're secretly a nice guy...why wouldn't I like you?" She said lightly. The truth was she liked him a lot. She might consider Varric and Aveline her best friends, but she couldn't seem to stay away from Fenris.

He frowned. "I'm not nice. I have no patience, I'm stubborn and belligerent. I don't think I would be my friend. But I'm different around you. I'm more like that man you described. I want to be more like him, Hawke." He gripped her hands tighter and looked into her eyes. Hawke felt something give inside her heart.

"You are that man. You just have to give yourself permission to be him. Besides, I know you're impatient, stubborn and belligerent. I like you anyway." She said, smiling at him. Void take it, if something was going to be said to change their relationship, so be it.

He smiled slowly, his face brightening considerably. "I'm glad. I - I like you too. Sometimes you're infuriating, but I like it when you rile me up. You're the first friend I can remember having. Thank you for being my friend Hawke." His eyes seemed more alert now. "So, are you going to replace the window?" he asked, a glimmer of humor finding its way back into him.

"The window? Oh, yes, I'll replace it." The moment had passed. She felt that their friendship was stronger for it though.

"I don't want Lowtown riff-raff just waltzing in here whenever they feel like it." He said with a smirk.

Hawke narrowed her eyes at him and punched him on the (left) shoulder. "Ass" she said.

"Just for that, I'll make you come with me on who knows how many adventures." She said smiling at him.

"As you wish" he said. His smile full of promise.


Author's Note: I want to thank everyone who read my story. It always gives me butterflies in my stomach when I see people have read my writing.

I'd like to especially thank Exxie, HikariYagami22, MaroonAngel of Darkness, and NoMadKa for giving me their invaluable support and feedback.

I hope you enjoy this final bit. Don't worry, Hawke and Fenris are nowhere near leaving me alone. I'm not done writing for them yet!

~Penguin Regina