Chapter 9
Too Lost to be Found
Kagome walked through the forest, glad to see the first traces of InuYasha's ranch. The walk to his home didn't normally seem so long. Any other time, she had been with Sesshomaru, and he had always kept her distracted one way or another.
A small smirk hit her lips as she thought about the last time the two of them had walked to InuYasha's. They had made a bet to see who would last the longest in a tease war. Needless to say, Sesshomaru didn't even make it out of the woods before he pinned her against a tree and ravished her body. She hadn't minded.
Now, though…
Her smile fell from her face as she thought about her husband. Is that how it was with Kagura? Was he loving towards her? Was he passionate and thoughtful? This entire time, Kagome had thought she was special. That it was because of her that he acted this way.
She had been wrong.
Now, reality was setting in, and she realized that she had meant nothing to Sesshomaru. Everything she thought had been a lie. A misguided hope on her part. And damn, if it didn't hurt. She had never felt so much pain in her life.
Then again, she had never been tricked in such a way before either. She only wished she had so she could have had some kind of preparation for what was coursing through her veins. There was no one she could go to.
The only reason she was even thinking of InuYasha was because he was her best friend before Sesshomaru was even considered a friend. He would be there for her, no matter what. At least she had him.
An uprooted root caught Kagome's foot, nearly sending her to the ground. She was lucky to have stabilized herself. It was an uncommon thing since she was very clumsy. The last thing she needed to happen was for her child to get hurt.
The thought of her child brought up another issue, and Kagome's heart stopped. Never in her life had Kagome thought she would come to regret her child, but here she was, wishing she wasn't pregnant.
All because of Malik.
Sesshomaru's son from another woman.
Her husband already had a child. He didn't need the one she carried. Then, to make matters worse for her, Malik was already basically grown, meaning all of the hard parts, raising a child and caring for an infant, were done and over with.
Sesshomaru would never have to worry about any of that with Malik…but he would with their unborn one. Kagome wiped away a few tears as she pondered what she would do. Sesshomaru wouldn't want her child anymore, and that was a given.
After all, he was going to need to spend time with Malik and Kagura, forming the family she always wanted, with someone else. He wouldn't have time for her, or his unwanted unborn child. So, what options did she have?
She could have the child, then give it up for adoption. Some family would love it, even if she had to from afar. The only thing about that was, she didn't think she could grow the baby, feeling it move from within her womb, responding to her touch and voice, then give it to someone else. Then the child would grow, always wondering why its mother and father never wanted it, and Kagome didn't want that. Because the child was wanted, at least by her.
That brought her to another option. One that instantly had her stomach churning. Abortion. Could she, someone who has been against it for her entire life, murder her child? Her little baby. She really didn't think she could do it. Just thinking about it made her want to cry and vomit at the same time. So, in truth, it wasn't really even an option.
Then there was the final option which broke Kagome's heart. Divorce. She could leave Sesshomaru, move back in with her mom, and raise her child there. Sesshomaru would no longer have to worry about the baby he didn't want…or her. There would be no complications getting between him and Kagura, and everything would be easy…for him.
She, however, would lose the only person she had ever wanted, and loved. She wasn't sure her heart could handle that. Even now, her hand was clasped over the pumping muscle, hoping that the pain would die away.
Would it, or would she be forced to live with this the rest of her life?
She really hoped InuYasha could shed some insight because she was so confused at the moment. Hell, she didn't even know if this was real, or some horrible nightmare that she needed to wake from at this very moment.
A low branch that she didn't notice smacked her in the face, and she knew that this wasn't a nightmare. You don't feel pain in a nightmare, and that branch really hurt. Taking a deep breath, she finally made her way onto the ranch and spotted InuYasha immediately.
He was surrounded by a bunch of his workers, yelling something about two stallions. She assumed they had gotten in a fight considering he had a bunch of herbal medicine in his hand and looked as if he was about to put the paste on the nearest horse.
She really hated interrupting his work, but she needed him, now more than ever. She would give him a hand afterwards, making up for pulling him away from his business. He noticed her walking his way,and, after a confused expression, he gave a stressed but welcoming smile.
"You came to give Amadeus a ride. He is in the paddock over there." InuYasha said, motioning towards the horse that was grazing lazily with a few mares.
"Actually, can I talk to you about something?" She asked, giving him a pleading look. She was just about to turn and walk away, knowing that he would help her, when another rug was pulled out from under her.
"I'm sorry, Kags. If this horse scars up, his value goes down considerably. I need to look at his wounds now. I'll talk to you in about an hour." He stated, turning from her and making his way to the horse.
Kagome just nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and turned towards the paddock. It hurt, but she couldn't blame him. After all, his horses were expensive, and he didn't want to lose a dime because of something so simple.
So, she would sit at the paddock, waiting on her best friend to help her. She plopped herself down on the inside of the ring and watched all of the horses grazing, her hand gently running over her stomach.
It was then that she remembered she had left her phone at the house, but she shrugged. By now, Sesshomaru was most likely home and already noticed that she was gone. Would he come looking for her, or would he just let her go? Would he be angry at the condition she left the house in?
Perhaps she should have cleaned it and taken the car. At least then he would think that she was just out and about. Because, truthfully, she wasn't sure she wanted him to come and look for her. She didn't know if she could handle seeing him.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there, waiting on her friend. Her knees had been drawn up to her chest with her chin resting on them, all while she continued to pluck at the soft blades of grass, rolling them through her fingers. Before long, she noticed the sun beginning to go down.
With a sigh, she turned to look towards the paddocks, seeing InuYasha speaking to a worker in an angry tone. She couldn't make out what was being said, but it was clear that it was important. More important than her.
Maybe she had an exaggerated thought of her worth. Perhaps she wasn't as loved as she had believed. There was a stab in her heart once again. This time, she couldn't fight the tears, or the sob that escaped her as she stood.
The sound of her despair hadn't gone unnoticed by her best friend as his head snapped towards her. He never meant to take this long, but the horse had been wounded more than he had thought. He took a few steps towards her, only stopping when she stood and ran towards her horse.
InuYasha watched as she jumped onto her horse, wondering how such a small girl could get on such a large horse, especially without any tack. He watched her kick Amadeus into a straight gallop, not even stopping at the fence.
The horse glided over it with ease, and InuYasha sighed. Anytime she did something like that, he worried for his friend. She meant the world to him. Deciding that she needed time, he went back to work, wondering when she would come back to talk to him and just what his brother had done this time.
InuYasha watched as his brother's very expensive car skidded to a stop in the driveway. Sesshomaru just about jumped out of the vehicle and ran towards him, anger and fear very evident in his eyes.
"What the fuck happened?" Sesshomaru asked, his voice louder than he had intended.
"I have no idea. I was told that Amadeus was back in his stall, but obviously, he wasn't. It was a different horse." InuYasha answered, turning and walking towards the barn, his brother on his heels.
Miroku was inside, pulling horses from their stalls and tying them to the nearest fence with their lead rope. InuYasha grabbed a saddle, just as Sesshomaru did, and walked to the nearest horse. They silently began to tack the animals.
It wasn't long before other cars began to arrive and, once informed that it was the favored Kagome that was missing, everyone jumped into action, getting all of the horses tacked and ready. Once everyone arrived, they had a total of twelve people ready to begin the search.
InuYasha walked to the nearest tack room, approached a safe, and unlocked it. Inside sat seven shotguns, and he grabbed six of them, plus a box of ammo. Once outside, he noticed his brother's eyes widen before looking out to the woods with worry. There were all kinds of animals in the forest. The protection would be needed.
"Listen up!" InuYasha called, getting everyone's attention as he loaded the first gun, then handed it to Miroku. "We will split up into six groups, two in each. I want my more experienced worker with a lesser. Each group will have one gun. Only use it to protect yourselves. Not all of these horses are used to the sounds the weapons make."
He continued loading the guns and passing them to the ones he trusted the most. He kept one for himself and walked over towards his horse, Beast, untied his reins, and mounted. Everyone else followed his lead, and he turned his horse around, needing to say one last thing.
"Call me immediately if she is found. If she is hurt, call an ambulance first and request a helicopter…actually, demand it. It is cold, and she has been missing for hours. Plus, she's pregnant. Now, get to work." He ordered before turning and urging Beast to go the way she had gone, Sesshomaru close behind him.
The rest of the group followed until it was time to separate and, eventually, they were alone, just him and his brother. It was then that InuYasha slowed to a steady walk, looking at the ground as he continued.
"Why have we slowed?" Sesshomaru asked, trotting up beside his brother, his agitation evident.
"Because I am tracking her. If I just bolt through the forest, I can't exactly follow her." InuYasha explained as he sat back in his saddle, bracing himself for the outburst he was about to get. "What the fuck did you do, Sesshomaru? She would never act like this normally."
The yelling and insults he was expecting never came, causing him to look at his older brother. What he saw shocked him more than he ever thought it would. He looked utterly broken. His shoulders were slouched, his eyes dull. He didn't even hold the mask he normally did. Instead, his face was full of…regret.
"I… Ten years ago, I was unfaithful." Sesshomaru whispered, not flinching when he was suddenly punched and knocked from his horse. He sat himself up and met the furious glare from his brother. Only when he knew that he wouldn't get punched again did he stand and mount the horse he was riding.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" InuYasha hissed, pushing Beast to continue on.
"I don't know. I had never meant for it to happen." Sesshomaru admitted, honestly wishing his brother would hurt him again. His throbbing jaw wasn't enough to justify what he did.
"Who was it?"
More tense and thick silence before a barely heard, "Kagura."
Once again, InuYasha had the urge to punch his brother, but he reined it in. They needed to focus on finding Kagome first. After that, he would beat the shit out of Sesshomaru. Taking a deep breath, he continued with his interrogation.
"Why would you ever go back to Kagura?"
"I only met up with Kagura to get answers. I was told that she was not alone and figured that it would be the closure I had so desperately wanted. I was wrong. When I arrived, she was alone and immediately began to pursue me. At first, I rejected her, even told her of Kagome, but she continued. Eventually, I…gave in." Sesshomaru explained, looking up to the sky and praying that his wife was okay…and that she would forgive him.
"Well, while I agree that you fucked up horribly, it doesn't explain why Kagome would run off like she did. Sure, she would have been pissed, but I know you love her, and I can guarantee you haven't touched someone else since that bitch. So what the fuck aren't you telling me?" InuYasha continued, noticing that he was right in his theory when his brother tensed up.
"Kagura became pregnant."
"You are one stupid fucker. If Kagome never forgives you, I will back her completely." InuYasha snapped before taking another deep breath.
Find Kagome, then beat the shit out of my brother.
Nothing else was said as they continued searching. Sesshomaru knew his brother was right. Perhaps, had Kagura not ended up pregnant, Kagome would have given him a second chance. Now, however, she had a permanent reminder of what he had done.
He didn't know what he was going to do about that child. Could he even accept the boy?
It took about two hours before they finally found the first sight of Kagome, but they didn't like what it meant. Immediately, InuYasha jumped from his horse and approached the grazing gelding. He patted Amadeus' neck, noticing that there was nothing wrong with the male.
When the horse realized he wasn't alone, his head picked up and he snickered, brushing against InuYasha's hand before turning and walking deeper into the forest. Knowing the bond the horse held with Kagome, InuYasha jumped back on Beast and began to follow the horse. He would lead them to Kagome.
As suspected, the sound of sobbing hit their ears, and the brothers shared a worried look before urging Amadeus faster. The first sight of Kagome had Sesshomaru jumping off of his chosen horse and running towards his wife.
InuYasha watched as his brother skidded to a halt and took his crying wife into his arms, relief on his face. He asked over and over again what was wrong but received no answer as Kagome continued to cry.
Finally, InuYasha dismounted and approached his family. He kneeled down by his brother and friend and rubbed some hair from her face, getting her attention. The moment she saw him, she left Sesshomaru's arms and went to his.
InuYasha ignored the hurt look in his brother's eyes, knowing he deserved it at the moment, and focused on Kagome. "What happened, Kags? We have been worried sick."
Wiping at her tears, Kagome spoke up for the first time that night. "I got lost and Amadeus and I were trying to find our way back when a snake spooked him. He threw me, and I landed on my knee. I can barely even walk so I knew I couldn't get on his back."
"Are you hurt anywhere else? How is the baby?" Sesshomaru asked, ignoring the look of surprise his wife sent him. Why would she be surprised at his questions?
"No, nothing else was hurt. The baby is fine." She whispered, flinching as Sesshomaru began to look over her knee.
"It is not broken, just twisted. The swelling is not horrible and, with an ice compress, will recede." He informed, standing and holding out a hand to Kagome.
Kagome shook her head, and Sesshomaru sighed, placing his mask over his hurt emotions before beginning again. "Kagome, I know you do not wish to speak to me at the moment, however, for the safety of yourself and our growing child, we must return home. It is too cold for you to remain outside."
"Why do you even care?" Kagome asked, shocking Sesshomaru. Yes, he had cheated, but she was the love of his life. Had her trust been shaken so thoroughly?
"Kagome–"
"Please, don't." She begged before turning to InuYasha. "Can you help me?"
InuYasha watched as Sesshomaru pulled his hand back, letting it fall limply to his side, and nodded quickly. He wasn't sure his brother could fix this, but right now, Kagome needed to be alone. If Sesshomaru was going to have a chance, then he needed to give her that space.
So, InuYasha stood, picking up Kagome bridal style, and began walking towards Beast. He hoisted her over the saddle, making sure she was steady before going towards Amadeus. Lucky for InuYasha, the gelding at least had a halter on which meant that the lead rope in his saddle bags could be used.
He grabbed the halter, led the horse towards Beast, hooked up the lead rope, and tied it to the horn on the saddle. When he knew it was secure, he climbed on behind Kagome and looked towards his brother. Sesshomaru looked even more defeated than he had before but he was already on his horse and waiting to return.
So, telling Kagome to steer home, he grabbed his phone and began making calls to all of his employees, letting them know she had been found and telling his workers to untack the horses and place them in their stalls before going home.
With what was about to happen, he needed everyone gone and, luckily, his employees were good. When they arrived, Miroku was the only one waiting, and he nodded to the male before jumping down.
He grabbed Kagome and held her to his chest before passing her off to Miroku and surprising the other two males present. "Let her stay at your house tonight. She is going to need Sango."
It was all he said, but it was clear that Miroku had been dismissed. Taking a glance between the brothers, he nodded before turning towards his home. Sesshomaru and InuYasha were silent as they took care of their horses, untacking them, brushing them, and placing them in their stalls. Amadeus drank and ate hungrily, and when all was settled, InuYasha turned to his brother.
Nothing was said as he finally let his rage take over. He tackled his brother, and the fight was suddenly started. This time, Sesshomaru defended himself, taking out his own frustrations on his brother. Both punched and hit and, quite honestly, aimed to hurt the other.
It only took a few minutes before they were both laying on the ground beside each other, panting. InuYasha spoke first, knowing his brother wouldn't. "I have no idea how Kagome is going to react and, ultimately, if she decides to leave, I will support her. But, until the decision has been made, I will help you."
Sesshomaru looked towards him, ignoring the blood from his lip and the pain in his eye as he regarded his brother. He gave a thankful nod, glad that he at least had his brother on his side. Now he just had to get his wife back.
-sSs-
We all know that Sesshomaru loves Kagome and that he would never reject their child. However, right now, she isn't thinking clearly. She is distraught and not sure what to really think so she is basically rambling in thought. Eventually, her thinking will begin to clear up, but it will take some time. On the paragraph about abortion, it is not about views. I will not disclose what my opinion on that subject is because it doesn't matter. However, I know that it is a touchy subject and just wanted to explain it. Kagome, the very person she is, would be against abortion. She is against all fighting and killing. Even in the anime, she left most killing to InuYasha, only doing so herself when she had no other choice. That is all that paragraph is about, nothing more. So, I really hope I don't get a bunch of reviews where everyone is chewing me out about it. I hope you all enjoy.
Shout outs:
Redrake323: Yes, all hell is breaking lose. Lol. It will be tough on the couple for a bit, but all will get better.
Slvrphoenx: Everyone feels bad for Kagome, and I agree. It is going to suck for the next couple of chapters. Yes, but Kagura has never been one to do something subtly. Yes his dad will try and use this situation to his advantage, but his eyes will be opened up as well.
Sesskag493: I didn't mean to make you so upset. I'm sorry. Lol. Sesshomaru beat around the bush with telling Kagome. He had ten years to do so, and never did. That is his own fault. The story has not finished progressing, so you may be able to hate Kagura eventually… or may not.
Wolfgirl09: Eventually you probably will feel bad for Sesshomaru. He will go through a lot to get Kagome back.
Wren210: Yea, being in Kagome's shoes right now would really suck. I don't know what I would do. Don't feel bad for anyone yet…you have no idea where I am taking this. Hehehe. My muse says that you can be mad all you want right now, but eventually you won't be. The story has a few secrets that have yet to be disclosed. *Laughs loudly and evilly while scaring my cats* Sorry, my insomnia hit hard. Lol.
I do not own InuYasha.
