Tegan Chronicles Sanctuary Style 3:
Nubbin Juice 9
Late Night Dock Run
Tegan considered skipping dinner, but the thought of lecture time with Helen was enough to make her go endure half an hour of the 'gang's all here.' At least this way it wasn't one on one time, which was better.
Henry had made hamburger stew following the recipe Tegan had given him. He watched her pick at it until it was fit for a toothless toddler to eat, and he wasn't even sure she'd actually taken a single bite. "Is it that bad?"
She glanced up at him and back down unaware of what she had been doing. "No."
"Not hungry?" He asked.
She shook her head as her eyes wandered over to Helen's plate, which was barely touched, and cold. She knew she'd been staring at her through most of dinner and she had been doing her best to not look over. This is ridiculous what are you, eight?
She picked her plate up and headed for the kitchen when she felt a hand on her back she spun around to face Kate. "Hey, are you ok?"
"Fine." She felt Kate lifting her plate out of her hand.
"I've got it."
"Thanks."
Tegan spent the rest of the night avoiding the others and the next morning she walked in at the last possible minute and sat on the couch opposite Will.
"Glad you could make it." Helen commented softly. She knew Tegan was professional and she wouldn't let anything get in the way of doing her job. She just wished she could help her through this.
Tegan nodded once while concentrating entirely too hard on removing the cap from her pen. A couple times she noticed herself staring at Helen's legs. As she reprimanded herself silently the last time she saw Helen flick her ankle and realized she was trying to get her attention. She turned her head away and swallowed.
"Does anyone have anything they need to add?" After glancing around the room she closed the binder on her lap and watched everyone stand up. "Tegan, do you have a minute?"
Tegan sank back down onto the couch at stared at the floor.
Helen stood and put her binder on the desk before she crossed the room and closed the door. She then joined Tegan on the couch. "Talk to me."
She inhaled the lavender and citrus from Helen's hair. "There's nothing to talk about."
"You aren't talking to anyone, you're jumpy, and you're withdrawn."
"I'm not jumpy."
Helen put her hand on her knee and Tegan pulled away. "Not jumpy?"
Tegan scooted away. "Look I wasn't – he didn't…"
"But he tried." Helen wanted to hold her so badly it caused her chest to ache.
"And he won't ever be able to try again." She refused to make eye contact.
"That wasn't your fault."
"I didn't say it was." She dug her fingernail into the seam of her jeans. "I'm over it."
"Then why are you avoiding everyone?"
"I'm not avoiding everyone."
"Ah," Helen sighed, "just me then?"
Tegan looked up at her, everything Nikola had said melted into the background when she saw those blue eyes looking at her. "You're my boss."
"Is that a problem?" Helen's brow wrinkled.
"Not at all." Tegan stood up. "There just isn't anything to talk about."
Helen sighed as Tegan walked out of the room.
Two days later Helen found Tegan on the roof, it was after midnight and she'd gone up to get some fresh air. "Don't jump."
Tegan looked over her shoulder from the merlon she'd taken residence on up on the parapet. "Very funny."
Helen stepped up to the edge and looked over. "You know, that probably isn't the safest place for you."
"Probably not." She turned and jumped landing a foot to Helen's right and grinned when Helen gave her an intrigued look. "Better?"
"Much."
"I wouldn't have jumped." Tegan reassured her.
"That's not what I was worried about." Helen looked down again.
"I'm fine." Tegan walked over and looked at the lights of New City and they reflected in the harbor.
"Are you?" Helen followed her with her eyes.
Tegan nodded. She was ready to put it behind her, all of it. "Nothing happened."
Helen watched as she turned to her and smiled softly.
"I'm going to bed."
When sleep didn't come she headed down to her lab.
"Hey, are you busy?"
Tegan looked up to see Henry standing there in a black t-shirt with gray graphics of some band she hadn't heard of and a pair of worn blue jeans. His blue eyes regarded her carefully as she dropped her pen on top of the paperwork she was working on. She glanced briefly at the time on her computer. "Do you need help with the two o'clock feedings?"
"No, Kate's on that. I've got a pick up at the docks and wanted to see if you wanted to ride along since you're still up and all. But I can get the Big Guy."
"No." Tegan stood up and stretched. "Like you said, I'm still up and I could use the change of scenery."
"Alright, I'll meet you in the garage in ten?"
"Yup." Tegan nodded and cut her monitor off.
After Tegan helped Henry load the crate in the back of the van she turned toward the yipping puppy that seemed to have appeared from no where, although there were plenty of hiding places for him to have been in. She bent down and petted his head. "You need to go back to your momma, I bet she's looking for you."
"You ready?" Henry sniffed the air briefly and looked down at the dog. "Dude, you stink."
Tegan stood up and flicked her hands as if to shoo the small puppy away. "Go on home."
He just plopped his butt down and looked at her.
"We are not taking him with us." Henry slammed the doors to the back of the van shut.
"I didn't say we were." Tegan turned and got in the passenger seat. She could see the puppy still sitting there looking lost and lonely, cocking his head to the side in the red glow of their taillights until they turned a corner.
