DISCLAIMER: I don't own SGA. This is just for fun. Don't shoot.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I commute via bicycle and bus and had an accident yesterday loading my bike on the bus bike wrack. Mir (my bike, yes I named my bike) slipped and dropped down unexpectedly. Something caught one of the straps of my helmet and jerked my head with it, wrenching my neck. The drop wrenched my elbows. I sliced my hand somehow and when I fell with Mir on top of me I bruised the holy crap out of my legs. So, when I got home last night (I still had to pedal a couple of miles after all that) I was a sack o' pain.
Then I had to work this morning and when I got home two deer (deer are the most stupid animals on God's great Earth, I swear) had gotten in the open fence and then couldn't remember how to get out. I had to herd them out because they were going to kill themselves just running repeatedly into the fence, which took forever (stupid deer). I thought one of them had killed itself but it was just stunned. When I finally got them out I was, once again, a sack o' pain.
But I'm feeling better now and ready to conclude this, the world's longest author's note, and the story. I hope that everyone has enjoyed reading it at least half as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Rodney looked around at the alien planet. He glanced at Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla and couldn't suppress a smile. It felt so good to be back on the team again, to be off world and to have everything back to normal.
He looked down at his instruments but there were no indicators of technology, only a concentration of life signs to the east. He turned to tell Sheppard and stopped short.
Sheppard was gone. So were Teyla and Ronon.
Rodney felt a sick feeling of dread creeping up his throat.
"Teyla!" He called. "Ronon! Sheppard!" There was no answer.
This was not happening.
Rodney saw movement in the corner of his eye and turned franticly, close to panic. What he saw was absolutely shocking.
"Ionna?" He breathed uncertainly.
The frail woman smiled at him. Then surreptitiously put her finger over her lips signaling silence. She gestured for Rodney to follow her and then turned and walked into the woods on the far side of the clearing.
"Ionaa!" Rodney called. "Ionaa, Wait!" He jogged after her, still shocked. He suddenly remembered how it was his friends had come to think of him as dead. Clones. Had the Ninions made an Ionaa clone? Was she still alive? Well, obviously, either she was or a clone was or possibly a twin sister, though she'd never mentioned a twin sister.
Rodney's head whirled with the questions and uncertain theories, trying to explain what he was seeing. He kept running after Ionaa but couldn't seem to close the distance, though she didn't appear to be running.
Rodney ran through the trees which suddenly ended and he found himself on a beach, no sign of Ionaa anywhere in the pristine sand. It was beautiful, the kind of crystal clear beach that are pictured in travel agencies. The foliage around him had somehow changed from predominantly fir trees to palms.
I'm dreaming. Rodney realized suddenly. He looked out over the water and noticed a figure. It was a man; shriveled and old and wearing a mask. He was standing about 100 meters away, under the water. It was impossible but, Rodney reasoned that since this was a dream, nothing was really impossible was it?
Rodney recognized the mask, Jinto had often played with it; an exaggerated rendering of a Wraith's features. For some reason the old man filled Rodney with inexplicable dread and fear. He suddenly knew, in the way you just know things in dreams, that the moment he looked away from him, the old man would suddenly be standing directly in front of him.
Rodney didn't know why that should be so scary but it was. It was terrifying. He felt his heart pounding in his chest.
Maybe if he knows, I know. Maybe he won't do it. Rodney though desperately.
"I can see you!" Rodney screamed. "I can see you!" Rodney's voice was panicked and verging on tears. He couldn't blink. He couldn't. As soon as he did the man would just appear. He couldn't look away. He couldn't blink.
Rodney blinked.
As he opened his eyes he felt a scream barely caught in his throat, for the old man was standing directly in front of him; His face inscrutable behind the mask. Rodney began to cry in earnest now.
"Don't." He begged. "Don't take it off, please." Rodney suddenly knew what he was afraid of. He was terrified of seeing what was behind the mask.
The old man slowly lifted his hands to the mask.
"Please!" Rodney cried. "Please don't!"
The man started to lift the mask slowly. His chin was exposed.
Rodney felt as though he were choking on his own heart.
"Oh please, please, DON'T!" He screamed shutting his eyes in absolute terror.
"Rodney!"
Jennifer was shaking him.
Rodney blinked away tears and heard the erratic beating of his heart roaring in his ears echoed eerily in the monitor by his bed.
"Jennifer." He gasped, his relief complete. He was exhausted. "Oh, thank god. I thought I wouldn't wake up in time."
Jennifer looked pained. "It's okay. You're okay now. No one can touch you."
Rodney tried to slow his breathing. He felt positively rubbery from both the intensity of the fear and the resultant relief.
"I'm fine." He breathed softly. "It's fine. It's not what you think." His voice was still tinged with sleep. "I couldn't let him take it off is all. I don't want to see his face. I'm scared of him." Rodney's eyes were closing. He was drifting back.
Jennifer impulsively kissed his damp forehead, feeling tears in her eyes.
"You're safe, Rodney. You're home and no one can touch you. They have to go through me first. You're safe. Go to sleep."
"'m tired." Rodney said then faintly, his eyes closed. "But 'm scared he'll be there."
"Don't worry, Rodney." Jennifer murmured. "I'm here. I'll make sure no bad dreams find you. Go to sleep."
Rodney smiled and Jennifer thought that he might already have slipped back to sleep. She looked around and blushed as she noted the night staff had been watching. She smiled and held up a thumb to indicate all was well. Then she grabbed the nearby stool and settled in for a long night.
"Don't worry, Rodney." She whispered. "I'll keep the monsters away."
"Hey, McKay." Ronon said; his greeting, as usual, sounding more like a call to attention.
"Ronon." Rodney acknowledged the Satedan's presence, sounding pleasantly surprised.
"I thought I'd wheel you down to the mess hall for some real food." Ronon offered with a crooked grin.
"Oh, I like hospital food."
Ronon raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Really. MRE's, too. Don't know why." He frowned. "Though they do give me gas."
Teyla, who had been sitting, keeping Rodney company, gave him a meaningful glance.
"I am sure that after so many days spent in the infirmary, a trip to the mess hall would be a welcome change." She said encouragingly.
Rodney shifted uncomfortably.
"Come on, McKay. Up." Ronon said simply and his tone of voice did not encourage further argument.
Rodney sighed. "Okay, I assume you're going to help me get out of this rig?" He said, indicating the infirmary bed and his plastered leg.
Ronon just grinned.
"You coming?" Rodney asked Teyla when he was finally situated in the wheel chair.
Teyla smiled. "I am afraid I must decline, Rodney. I have a training session planned with John. In fact, I fear that I will be tardy as it stands."
Rodney flashed a nervous smile. "Well, thanks for coming by."
Teyla smiled again and then impulsively she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. She felt him tense instinctively at her close proximity and then relax enough to allow his forehead to lean equally against hers. When she straightened both of their eyes were slightly damp.
"Rodney," she said then. "It continues to be my pleasure to share your company."
Rodney blushed deeply and scoffed. "You're just saying that because you thought I was dead. Give me time. You'll get over it."
"I sincerely doubt that I will." Teyla said, a little too seriously and Rodney frowned. Teyla forced herself to smile and touched his shoulder gently. "Enjoy your meal, Rodney. Ronon." She smiled and waved as they exited the infirmary.
"Hey, this isn't the mess hall." Rodney said as Ronon wheeled him out onto one of the less frequented balconies.
"I know that McKay." Ronon said.
"Well, maybe you can't remember this far back but you and I were supposed to be going to the mess hall." McKay said irritably.
"You said you weren't hungry." Ronon retorted.
"Yes, well, that was before. Now you've got me craving blue jello and a cup of coffee that's actually still hot." Rodney said petulantly.
"After." Ronon answered.
"After what?" Rodney asked perplexed.
"We need to talk." Ronon stated.
"About?" Rodney questioned, still clearly irritated.
"What those bastards did to you."
Rodney stared, shocked at Ronon's direct statement. "Well, um, no?" He said uncertainly.
"You need to talk about it."
"No, I don't." Rodney said quickly.
"Yes, you do." Ronon argued.
"What exactly will that accomplish, hmm?" Rodney said, angrily. "It was painful and horrible and in the past. Talking about it won't make it go away. It'll just make everyone uncomfortable."
"Do I look uncomfortable?" Ronon retorted.
Rodney gave Ronon a quick up and down appraisal. "No." He said finally.
"I still don't see how talking about it is going to make it better." He insisted with a stubborn set to his jaw.
"Okay," Ronon conceeded amiably, throwing Rodney off a bit. "then tell me about your dreams."
"Dreams?"
Ronon lifted an eyebrow. "The dreams you keep having that have got the Doc so worried."
"None of your business." Rodney puffed.
"You're screaming in your sleep every night in the middle of the infirmary, McKay. Keller's staying up late into the night to make sure she wakes you up when they start." He paused meaningfully. "It is my business."
Rodney sighed. "I...I'm just not good at...this...stuff." He managed lamely.
"It's just talking, McKay. You're really good at talking." Ronon smiled but his voice held a great deal of warmth and understanding.
"I...I'm on a mission...with you." Rodney barked a bitter laugh. "Yeah, you were there and John and Teyla and her little dog, too."
Ronon frowned. "Dog?"
Rodney waved his hand dissmissively. "Wizard of Oz, just...it was a lame joke. Nevermind."
Rodney sighed and started again, "We're on a mission and I turn around and you're all gone." He swallowed. "Then Ionaa's there and she doesn't talk but wants me to follow her and I try. I try to run after but I can't catch her. Then I'm on a beach and there's this man in the water. I'm so scared of him and I don't know why. And not knowing just makes me more scared. Then he's right in front of me and I...he starts to pull off the mask. He's wearing a Wraith mask, I forgot to tell you that. He starts to pull it off and I just know that if he does...it'll be really, really bad."
Rodney's voice is ragged by this time with remembered fear and panic. "It's the same dream, over and over."
Ronon had been listening thoughtfully and remained quite for a long pause.
"You have to let him take off the mask." He said at last.
"Are you CRAZY!" Rodney asked incredulously. "Why did you drag me out here if you weren't listening to a word I just said? I can't let him take off that mask."
"Yes, you can, McKay. You have to. It's the only way you'll figure out what you're really afraid of." Ronon said simply.
"Okay, okay, thank for your time Sigmund Freaking-Crazy. Can we go now?" Rodney demanded, clearly annoyed.
"Sure." Ronon said shrugging. The shrug was incredible; perfectly articulating that Ronon felt he'd done his part and even Ronon's confidence in the fact that Rodney would inevitably follow his advice.
"McKay." Ronon had walked back to the handles of the wheelchair but paused.
"What?" Rodney said, still irritated.
"I'm sorry we left you and I'm really glad you're back." Ronon said simply. "I missed having you around."
Rodney craned his neck and looked up at Ronon, surprised. Ronon had been looking straight ahead, but bowed to return Rodney's gaze.
"I mean it." He said then.
"I believe you." Rodney replied and felt idiotic. He shifted his gaze back to the hall doorway as Ronon started pushing the wheelchair forward.
"Ronon?" He said at last.
"Yeah, McKay?"
"I missed you, too."
"I know."
Rodney smiled.
That night Rodney had the hauntingly familiar dream. It still took him miraculously arriving on the idealic beach to realize he was dreaming but when he did he also recognized and remembered he had been there before.
His chest still pounded franticly when he saw the old man in the water but he willed himself to remain in control and closed his eyes with determination.
He opened them and, just as he had expected, the old man stood within arms reach of him. He felt the familiar panic as the man lifted the mask but he clenched his teeth and fists and willed himself to stay, to see.
The mask lifted and Rodney saw...himself.
The shriveled old man behind the monster mask was Rodney. This alternate version of himself stared sadly at him for a long moment.
Then he handed Rodney the mask. Rodney stared at the costume, confused.
"You're not a monster." He heard his other self say but when he looked up, it was Ionaa standing before him. She was smiling.
"See?" She said and pointed to his hands.
The mask had turned to dust.
"Go to sleep, Rodney. You'll be alright."
Ionaa and the vision of the beach faded. Rodney slept on peacefully and never dreamed the dream again.
THE END
A/N: Well, it's over. I hope you liked the ending and that it wasn't disappointing. Thanks for all the reviews and feel free to let me know what you think of this ending. It's been lots of fun!
