DISCLAIMER-- DARN I CAN'T THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY TO PUT UP HERE...THIS BLOWS! WHY DO I GOTTA BE ALL OLD LIKE?
A/N NOOOO! I'm getting old! WHY??
Warning. The subject and maybe some language used in this chapter may hurt some of your eyes, brain, ears, or toes. You have been warned...
Q) Alice, How do people get boyfriends? 'Cause all my friends have one. Do I go online or something??
Oh, my, friggin, gosh. Are you serious? OF COURSE YOU BUY ONLINE! That's where I found Jasper. Uh huh ya true story. I remember it all like it was yesterday...
Flashback 10 years ago...
"OH MY GOSH! LIKE NO FRIGGIN WAY! AHHHHH!"
"Alice! Alice what's wrong sweetie?"
"Esme, I just found like the COOLEST website ever! !!"
"Buy a boyfriend dot come? What the heck are you on Alice?!"
"I'm on the internet! Duh! Seriously you can buy a boyfriend on here! OH I wonder if they cute vampires close to my age..."
"What are we going to do with you?"
Looking through 159 vampires bachelors and finding a cute one for a cheap price later...
"AHHH! NO WAY! NO HACKIN WAY! I FOUND MY SOULMATE! EEEEEP!"
"Alice?"
"What do you want Edward!?"
"Why are you screaming nonsense about soul mates?"
"Uh because I just found mine doofus! Look here! He's a vampire, he can control emotions, he's smart, and most of all he's sexy! Damn he's just gorgeous..."
"Okay then? But just so you know soulmates don't really exsist. This is just going to be a fling of somesort. Just like everything else in the world."
"Okay then tell me that again when you find your soulmate."
"Whatever."
"Wow! They even ship them really quickly! Let's see...buy."
29.5481924 seconds later...
DING DONG!
"AHHH! IT'S JASPER! IT'S JASPER! IT'JA-"
"Shut the hell up Alice!"
"Go away Emmett you would do the same if it were Rosalie!"
"Would not!"
"What did you say Emmett?"
"Oh Rose! I didn't mean it like that! What I meant to say wa- NO NOT THE HAMMER! DON'T THROW PLEASE! NOOOOO!"
"Okay then I'm going to answer the door then! Hi! You must be Jasper! I'm Alice and I bought you off the internet!"
"Wow, your cute."
"I know."
"I can't beleive I found my soulmate! And someone has hatred feelings towards that word..."
"WHOA! How did you know that Edward hated that word!?"
"Uhh...it's my superpower."
"Wait..." has vision "I see something in our future."
"Hmm I like what your feeling."
"Let's go!"
Flashback ends...
Ah that was an awesome night. But that flashback reminds me...
"Oh Edward! Where are you?"
"In my room."
"Okay be there in a sec."
"What do you want Alice?"
"Remember when you said that soulmates don't exist?"
"Uh ya."
"Well look at you and Bella. Looks like you were wrong. Oooh burn! Would you like some ice for that?"
"Umm no."
"Okay then I'll talk to you later. I see something in my future and it has to do with Jasper."
"Ugh I see that. Please seriously I think I'm scarred for life now."
"Ya whatever I don't care 'cuz I gotta go see Jasper..."
"Uh...gross."
HAHA I like this chapter! Who knew that you could buy boyfriends on the internet? That's so frigging awesome! Also Rachel is back! Isn't that just awesome? And also I was actually kinda hyper when I was writing the warning. XD REVEIW! Please?
