Hi! Yeah, I know, its been awhile, huh? I'm so sorry! I've been kinda busy lately… I'm trying to get into a weekend camp, and it's mighty expensive. But I'm glad you've waited! For now, I present you with a long-awaited chapter! I also want to thank the following people for reviewing the story, these guys are awesome! InvaderWeb, Selene98, HyPerPunnKGRL, Meira Evenstar, Everybody's Neesan, Mojo817, UnboundWings, Tobi-Uchiha, and Kaira-chan15. This chapter is probably the closest thing to a musical my fanfiction has ever been.

The Konoha (Un)Talent Show

It was a regular day, just like every other day. Okay, so that's a lie. It wasn't a regular day. Because today, Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai's senseis had a special announcement.

There was going to be a talent show.

"We need to raise money for the village since recent attacks." Explained one of their teachers. "So we're making you do something that everyone will want to see!"

"And if you don't," Added another, "We're going to do the worst thing we could possibly do!"

Everyone had gasped. "What's that?" Someone asked.

The sensei opened his mouth to tell them what their fate was, but a bus drove by so no one heard him anyway.

Iruka was the only one confused. "What's a bus doing here?" He asked. "We don't have proper roads for them!"

But nobody was paying attention to Iruka's logic, because they were all discussing the talent show.

"Hey, Kakashi!" Gai said. "I bet I can beat you in the talent show!"

"There is no "U" in talent, Gai." Said Kakashi.

Gai looked frustrated. "AND THERE IS NO "I" EITHER!" He retorted.

"My point exactly." Kakashi smiled.

Gai's eyebrows slanted down, making him look angry. "Oh, so you think you're all that because you can spell? I'm not stupid, you know!"

"Then why is there a "U" in stupid?" Kakashi asked.

"HEY! DON'T FORGET THE "I"!" Snapped Gai. Then he realized he was outsmarted again. "Oh… oh… well, there is no "I" in ugly, but there's a "U"!"

"Well, its better to be ugly than to be stupid, like you."

"I think this is the most educational chapter of the whole series so far." Remarked Iruka.

"Darn you, Kakashi! You're so cool!" Gai fumed. "I'm going to win this contest, and if I don't, I'll eat 500 packages of Double Stuffs and watch sad tear-jerker movies for hours!"

"Why are you telling us that?" Iruka asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Because that's one of my rules!"

"Um. Nevermind." Iruka sighed. "Let's just get ready for the show."


So cue the training monologue music!

Iruka is kickboxing, then he's running through a field with weights in his hands, then he's balancing himself on water, then he's saving a baby whale from a whirlpool, and then he's writing a huge check to an orphanage charity.

Gai is playing DDR against random mall rats, then chasing an ice-cream truck, then playing hopscotch, then flying to the moon and confirming it's not really made out of cheese by biting one of the rocks, then rescuing a kitten from a burning building, and then eating Oreos on the couch.

Kakashi got lost on the road of life and just slept through his training monologue.

End training monologue.


So, the day had come for the talent show. Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai all came in through the window, for no apparent reason.

"Why do we let Kakashi pick the entrance?" Gai asked.

"Because you always insist on coming from the ceiling." Answered Iruka. "At least this way we don't damage the property."

"AHEM!" They turned to see an angry looking doorman. "Am I INVISABLE to you?"

"Holy cow who's there?" Kakashi squeaked.

Then, a bunch of other kids who had seen the trio enter through the window all thought it was a good idea too! So soon everyone was crawling in through the window, making the doorman more and more irritated.

Nearby, a panel of judges waited for the contest to start.

"Let the show begin!" Somebody announced.


The first of the three to be picked had been Kakashi, who was after some girl who thought swallowing flaming swords was a talent. Pft, what an amateur. Kakashi had REAL talent!

"Hey, everyone." Kakashi said, putting the mic to his face. "I have written a poem!"

Everyone was quiet, and allowed Kakashi to pull out a piece of paper. It read:

Roses Are Red

Violets Are Blue

Gai is Stupid

And Iruka is Too

Then he bowed and walked off the stage. The judges looked awkwardly at eachother.

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!" Sobbed Gai. "He wrote a poem about us!"

Iruka glared at Kakashi, who was sitting down backstage.


After several other people, it was Gai's turn. "I have also written something!" He announced. "I have prepared… a song!" Music began to play, from Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood" movie. Gai had changed the words to suit him even more than the original lyrics did.

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

I roam around the forest looking for fights

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tiiiights

I stick to my rules, for my ninja way

That's right!

I may look like a pansy

But watch what you say or else

I'll put out your lights!

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

Always on guard, defending the people's rights!

I'm Gai

Manly Gai!

I'm Gai in tights

Yosh!

I roam around the forest looking for fights

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tiiiiights

I stick to my rules, for my ninja way

That's right!

I may look like a sissy

But watch what you say or else

I'll put out your lights!

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

Tight tights!

Always on guard, defending the people's riiiights

If you're in a fix, just call

For the Gai in tights!

I'm youthful!

Then he flashed a nice guy pose before going backstage to brag to Kakashi. Once again, the judges seemed stunned.


Finally, not long after that, it was Iruka's turn. He cautiously approached the microphone, and cleared his throat.

"Um, I unfortunately wrote something as well." He said. "I have written a song, so… here it goes."

Calm music began to play, as Iruka began to sing his original song.

"Oh, the days they seem so long

Since the day that you've both gone

And now I'm trapped

In a world without your love

The seconds seem like hours

And I wonder if you have the power

To look down upon me

From your new home up above"

"Laaame." Kakashi muttered to Gai.

"If Heaven is understanding

Then why did it call for you?

When I'm still on the Earth

Was their only room for two?

Now I'm on my own and I

Have never felt so scared….

Oh yeah…

I've never felt so unprepared…

Oh yeah…-"

Suddenly, his song was interrupted. "OH YEAH!" Screamed the Kool-Aid man, crashing through one of the walls. People got up and started to scream and run for cover, while the doorman looked like was about to explode.

"THAT'S IT!" Cried the doorman. "I QUIT, SINCE NOBODY USES THE DOOR ANYMORE!" He stormed out through the hole in the wall.

Iruka looked sad, since that song had been lovingly written for his dead parents. He walked off the stage, letting the judges decide the winner.


"The winner will be announced by the Hokage!" Said a judge, after a long time of… judging.

Then the Hokage walked in through the window. "I thought we hired a doorman!" He complained. "Anyway, the winner is that kid." He pointed at Kakashi. "That poem was the deepest thing I've ever heard. Okay, everyone can go home now."

The stage was soon empty, all except for Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai. "WHY?" Iruka shook his fists at the air. "I worked so hard!"

"Well, looks like you didn't win, Gai." Kakashi snickered. "What does that make you now? Because there's an "I" in winner. But there is no "U"!" He bragged.

Gai, with all seriousness, answered. "At least I'm still better looking."

"OH YEAH!" Said Kool-Aid man.

Iruka slapped himself on the forehead.

The first time I heard the "Men in Tights" song, I knew it was about Gai… anyway, in the next chapter, they all go to Iruka's house, and play with a Magic 8-Ball. What kind of questions do they torture it with? What answers await them? Find out in the next thrilling chapter!