Hello! I apologize for the long time gap between my last chapter and this one. I've been a little behind XD. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with their family and friends :) Also hope everyone had an amazing year! As 2016 is coming to an end soon, i can't believe how quickly this year has gone, i guess time flies when you're having fun is true haha Again thank you so much for the support, I really, truly appreciate it, and i hope everyone likes this chapter, it is a little short this time, so sorry about that, but i will try to make up for it in the next one, i will also try and upload it a lot faster than this one haha Thank you so so much everyone, and please enjoy chapter 7! :)
CHAPTER 7
Complete darkness once again. Nearly all senses leave me, nearly. A cool breeze tugs at my skin, inviting itself into my veins. Irritating spikes poking at my back and head. No sense of smell, direction. I cannot tell if my eyes are closed, or they are open, and I am faced with nothing. The empty abyss. Has it happened again, my so-called powers.
"Ladrengilneth, you may open your eyes." His voice strong, and smooth like velvet. I do not feel threatened, but strangely at peace. Just like when I met Mother. My eyes begin to create an opening. By the Valar, have I ever seen something as beautiful, I do not think I have. The sky is the most peculiar shade of blue and purple, the white lights sparkling, contrasting perfectly with the colours. Everything around me, so ethereal, so unworldly. The flowers, trees, grass. My eye is captured by an unreal willow tree near a lake, it is silver. How? So, young and vibrant, the smell of nature beginning to strengthen, water trickling in stunning fountains. Not even a King or Queen could ever deserve to witness this, yet everyone deserves to.
"I thought you would like it. The gardens of Lorien, centuries have I cared for them, they never wither, never age. How are you coping Valley of stars?" My attention grasped by a gorgeous man … being? His hair so shiny, silky. The same silver as the willow. Sharp yet soft features make up his face, his gown white with shimmering gems.
"Are you an angel?" The smile I receive from him, would be enough to destroy an army of Orcs.
"No, I am Irmo. The god of dreams and visions, the title many of your Kin have given me. I cannot believe how much you look alike." His smile quickly leaving him, as he reaches out a hand, with his bright eyes wide open. Without a second thought, our pale hands touch, lifting me up, the world becomes bigger to my eyes. More breath-taking beings walk kindly and slowly, appreciating the land. Some glowing, some even seeming to be floating. There Is no doubt I am in Valinor.
"Thank you … Irmo. The gardens are unbelievable, but how did I get here? Did you bring me here?"
"No, you did."
"Really? I do not remember asking to be here- no offence."
"Yes, indeed you, but I did aid quite a bit, I awakened your abilities. I heard your prayer, your question, and I brought you here to give you my answer," My heart almost pausing completely, what is Estel and Maeneth going to think? I just disappeared out of thin air in front of them, Elrond is going to find out and fear me.
"We do not hate you. The valar do not hate you, Eru does not hate you, the only thing that hates you, is yourself … and Sauron." Irmo's face gives away no emotion, no thought. He just told me that I hate myself, that Sauron hates me, with no hesitation or worries of hurting my feelings.
"Excuse you Irmo, not only have you dragged me here without my consent, you tell me that I hate myself, which in fact I do not! I mean how in Arda would you know anyway! I am sorry If I seem disrespectful, but it is only fair because that is what you are being right now." He turns away suddenly and begins to stride further from me. Is he just going to leave me! Oh shite, well I can add another to the list of people that hate me. I do not care if he Is of the Valar, he is acting very arrogant and obnoxious right now.
"Did I just hear right Valley of Stars? If anyone is being arrogant, it is you. Now follow me, I would like to show you something." Oh…
"You can read minds, like Galadriel?" My voice determined and excited, the idea of him hearing me mocking him, him basically kidnapping me, it is all forgotten, I cannot help that I am forgetful. His footsteps larger and faster than mine, his legs are much, much longer. The cobblestone echoing under his fine boots and my bare feet, distract me from the speaking of others around us.
"Yes, of course I can, that is how I heard your prayer, it is how I hear everyone's prayers."
"Wait, you bring everyone who speaks to you here, how come I've never heard of anyone visiting Valinor, and meeting one of the Valar. I mean that would be quite difficult to forget." His long hair, swinging over his shoulder every sharp corner we turn.
"No, I do not, for the consequence of what you just said would be too great. And not everyone has your powers, in fact no one does, no one that lives in Arda."
"Right, so what are you showing me again?"
A smirk appears on his delicate face, as his eyes glance at me, and then go back in front of him, his motions come to an abrupt halt, forcing me to stop as well.
"This is Lorellin. For what I am to do, you will need to be at peace with your mind, even if just a little."
The water, so pristine, so clear. The blue shines brighter under the light of the moon and stars. I cannot help but touch the surface with my fingers, as polished and calm as glass. This lake should be named Harmony, not Lorellin.
"Maybe, I could arrange that, but that is not why we are here. Valley of Stars, what I am about to tell you, is all true. You need the truth. Do you understand?"
"I understand."
"Good." His stare suddenly diverting to behind me, where a white, stone lounge lays, low on the earth. As I sit down, the hole in my dress stands out, a surprising heat warms my face at the recent memory of it.
"Imra, one of the first of the Eldar. A fierce warrior and sorceress. A Noldorin elleth, a great ally of the Valar, friend of the house of Fingolfin, enemy of Morgoth. She was one of the greatest, along with the Lady of Light, she was the Lady of Time, of space. She was a war hero, known for the protection of many elves, who were at the kinslaying of Alqualonde. Imra did not fight to harm her Kin, but only defended both the Noldor with their swords, and the Teleri with their bows, her heroism was rewarded, her faithfulness was rewarded. The most beautiful of the Valar, Varda gifted her the ability to control and manipulate the profoundness of space and time, hence her title. Whilst the Noldor were banned from returning to Aman, Imra was given permission to stay, but she decided to leave to the land of Arda, where her dear friend Galadriel roamed with her people. Her relationship with Galadriel, allowed her to take rest in Doriath, where she met her love. Many found their love in Doriath, Galadriel and Celeborn, Lúthien Tinúviel and Beren, it is quite strange really."
"Wow, that is extraordinary, what did Imra look like? Is she really my ancestor? If so, I feel honoured, she sounds like a truly noble woman." His smile widens at my statement.
"It is. I would say she is certainly your ancestor, going on the almost unnatural similarities between you, as well as your powers. You look so much like her, the raven hair, the lilac eyes that have the light of the very stars in them, even the subtle redness on the tip of your nose. I was quite shocked to say the least when I first saw you, I had thought you were Guldes herself."
"Wait, whatever happened to her? She is an elf, immortal, should she not be alive, here, if not in Arda?"
"No, her spirit joined the stars in the night sky we stare up at, a long time ago. That was her wish, and so her wish was granted."
"Oh, she must be happy then. What of her love?"
"I am not sure whence he is, but I do believe he is still alive."
"What of Sauron, why do you think he hates me? You spoke so yourself, Elrond said he was alive too, but no one knows where he hides." Irmos eyes seem to squint ever so slightly at my mention of the necromancer himself, I suppose the Valar would indeed hate him, they hated his former master too, I think it is safe to say everyone hates both him and his master.
"He hates you because he fears you. He is a coward, but his cowardly acts can be overpowered with greed, his greed that fuels his urge to have complete power. Your gifts would be a great weapon, to him, along with his malice ring. However, you should not fear him, I doubt he cares to go out of his way to find you, but if either he, or his kin crossed paths with you, they would not hesitate to kill you, or worse, use you." He fears me? I do not think so after what happened, it was not as if I bumped into his horrible creations, they hunted me down, like a predator after its prey.
"How can you explain what happened to me then? At the village, they tracked me down, killed all the townsfolk, then killed my father. He does not fear me Irmo, not even the orcs or black riders fear me. I am useless, they might have feared Imra and my Mother, but not me. What could I possibly do to harm them anyway, run off a cliff for them to follow me?"
"You're lack of confidence is quite unfortunate, I guess I was correct after all." I watch in slight offence and sadness as he stands and begins to walk away once more.
"What do you mean? Irmo, please answer me!" Jumping from the seat instantly, I run after him and block his view, although me nearly falling on my tip toes does not appear threatening, I do not care.
"You truly do hate yourself, you proved my point. You do not believe, you have little to no faith in what you can accomplish." His stare sympathetic yet cold. He is right, I cannot believe it, he is right.
"Okay, fine! You are right, you are a genius! Congratulations! You win, but there is a very good reason to why I have no faith anymore! And it is because of you and your friends! I mean look at this place! All of you get to relax and enjoy your never-ending life, while the rest of us, get slaughtered by orcs and starve to death! You have no idea what it is like to suffer, to lose the things and people you love! Even your precious garden won't bloody die! How in Arda, am I supposed to gather faith with that knowledge!" I cannot help but shout at the top of my lungs, until my voice cracks, and the tears flood down my face. My vision blurs, to the point, where I have to sit down in order not to lose balance.
"That is not true ladren, and deep down, you know it to be false. Deep down, you have faith, belief and hope. We do suffer, maybe not in the same way you do, but we do. Everyone suffers, we all have different ways to cope, and your choice of coping at this moment is not working. Your anger and guilt towards yourself is not healthy, you release it on others to forget it is directed at you, even though it does not need to be. Nothing that has happened to you is your or anyone else's fault, it is fate. It is what moulds you into the person you will be when you pass, the sooner you accept the truth, the happier you will be." Both his hands hold my face, his eyes hypnotising me along with his words.
"All I want is to be happy, it's all I've ever wanted."
"And you can be Ladren, you just need to find the right path to follow."
"Let me stay. Let me stay here, with my Mother, so I can be happy." His hands fall, along with his face, I knew he would not let me. He says he wants me to be happy, yet he won't let me. Just as I thought.
"Ladren, I do want you to be happy, I wish for everyone to be happy, but you being here will not bring you joy, but only regret and emptiness. I've seen your future, and it is not here, but where you were born, your home is not here. There are people who need you, who need your love and care, think of them, if not of yourself." My future? Do I even truly have one?
"You have seen my- What will become of me? Please tell me, or I will not leave."
"I cannot tell you, and I cannot explain why either, you will have to believe me, have faith, that your future is bright and filled with love and friendship." He speaks softly as he lifts me to my feet, I do not know why, but the pain and heartache of before has left me, I feel numb, numb in a serene way. No thoughts or worries.
"You must go back now, Lord Elrond shall have had a vision of our meeting, so do not worry of his reaction. Remember, you have much more strength and power than you think, even if it is not visible to yourself or others, it is there, you are able to give others hope when even you have none, that is a gift in itself, farewell Valley of Stars." His eyes quickly becoming the only thing I can see, as a blinding white light sends a shiver of pain through my head, the tingles tickling at my fingertips, reveals that whatever he is doing, is working, I am going back to Arda, to Rivendell, to Estel.
