Author's Note: Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter of the story, which I hope reaches your expectations and makes you like it! And thank you so much for the hits and the few reviews; so far they've been great!
I'll let you read now... Enjoy! :)
Healer's Wounds
~Unexpected~
Hermione hadn't visited Ron for the whole week. That made Ron feel the pain inside him increase more and more with every long second passing and being taken out of his life; another long second without her in his life. He couldn't stand the fact, even though he knew that it would be just abnormal and 'unhealthy' for their relationship to them just coming back to the wonderful life they once had. But on the other hand, how he was supposed to show his remorse if he didn't see her? But of course, there was a reason behind her absence: she wanted some space, some time on her own, so she could think clearly about them- it was normal and Ron respected that.
Tobias or a couple of other healers were coming every other hour to check on his condition and to give him any sort of potions or other treatment. Ron had found this routine quite annoying and it was letting him with almost no time to think himself more clearly and in depth; he, of course, knew that his health was still weak and his condition crucial, but he was able to understand just from the expression they held on their faces that there was something more than that: they were afraid of him making a second attempt to harm himself and succeeding this time. The redhead hadn't such intentions, but he couldn't actually believe that they hadn't some mere faith in him for not doing such things again; maybe they were still too shocked to believe that he had tried this even once…
It was a Tuesday morning of March and he was sitting on his rather small bed, gazing at the scenery that's provided from the window on the other side of the room. There was nothing special to it; it was just a mere example of how the whole city of London was, nothing more. But Ron was actually enjoying neither the view of the huge number of buildings and roads nor the small amount of hesitant sunbeams that were entering the room; his weary eyes were unfocused and the only things that seemed to function more properly at the moment were his unsure, sore heart, his unwilling lungs and last but not at all least, his restless for months now, brain. His mind wandered at random memories and even more dreams he had had when he was younger and more carefree: being in love with his 'sweetie', marrying her, building a large, happy family with her and their love, loving her with care and passion for the rest of his life, making sure she was happier with the pass of the time… But he didn't give her anything from all these, or if he gave some of them, he just took care to ruin every single part of it, leaving nothing behind this raucous, fierce hurricane of unforgivable mistakes of his, nothing but mere ashes of their once existent bonds…
He felt his eyes getting wet, thanks to this tangle of sad thoughts of his, and for a brief moment, he thought with slight wonder how in Merlin's beard his lachrymal glands were still intact and where they had found so much water and salt in his weak system, just to produce the huge amounts of tears he'd left shed for this last week. But the thought was instantly erased from his head as the fat, bitterly salty drops made once again the already known travel from the puffy sockets, right trough the pale, and at the time, rather skinny cheeks and the shaky jaw, so they would meet the abrupt cliff, and a second later, they would leave a wet stain on his white pajama shirt and right into his soul. The whole process didn't make him feel more pain, though; unlike the previous times he cried violently because of his mistakes, now, every time he would cry rather softly, he would feel the pain ease a bit and the possibly existent headache would be slowly gone; it was like some sort of medicine, and he was greatly thankful for it…
Some hours later, he heard people approaching his room while they were talking lowly. Ron wasn't quite sure if the people meant to come into his room, as a nurse had come just half an hour ago to check him (and truth to be told, it was quite embarrassing to know that someone, let alone a woman, had come in and find him crying like a seven-year-old boy.), but a short moment later, Tobias and Hermione came in the room.
Hermione…
Ron was gaping at the dreamingly beautiful wife of his, who, even though had a rather sorrowful and uneasy look in her eyes, was glowing in graceful beauty, and that was quite inexplicable, to say at the least… The healer and the woman walked towards his bed and finally stood next to it. Ron glanced quickly at his friend, who was giving him a gentle, small smile at the moment, and then his pupils focused faithfully on Hermione, scanning every little movement and observing every single reaction of hers, but she seemed to have promised to herself to keep her face and her eyes as much drained out of emotion as possibly feasible; Ron became extremely sad just from looking at her being like this.
"How're you doing, old friend?" Tobias asked in a friendly way and Ron looked at him confusingly for a moment, almost forgetting his presence in the room.
"Quite fine, thank you." he said quickly and looked back at Hermione, whose eyes were restlessly and quite worryingly looking around at the room- well, all the room except a specific bed with a sad, red-haired patient; Ron was quite sure that she was worried and restless about something. 'Well, this is the understatement of the year, old chap!' he said to himself ironically.
"I've just come here to bring Hermione, as I was explaining your situation, so I'll just leave you for now; I'll come back later to check on your condition, Ron. Have a nice afternoon, Hermione." Tobias said, with probable nervousness in his voice. Hermione turned her eyes on him and gave him a sad and rather fake smile.
"Thank you, Tobias; and have a nice afternoon, too." Tobias smiled gently at her and a moment later, he was gone; thus, they were alone, looking down and staying for some minutes at a death-like silence. Ron thought he should make the first move, being quite sure that Hermione wouldn't take the matter in her pretty hands.
"Hi." 'Wow; what a progress!' he thought quite sarcastically. Hermione looked at him carefully for a brief moment and then she exhaled tiredly and sat on a chair next to his bed.
"Hi." she repeated, quite out of force, in Ron's opinion. He thought not to give it much of thought, 'cause he would drive himself crazy. "How are you feeling?" she asked then slightly gently and that gladly surprised the redhead.
"I'm well-" he started, but when he saw the small glare of hers, he continued hurriedly and quite embarrassingly: "I mean… I'm ok, I guess…" Hermione looked some more at him and then looked at her hands on her lap.
"And you?" he asked softly "How are you?" Hermione didn't speak for a moment, probably thinking about her answer and then she turned her head towards him and looked at him with somewhat cold eyes; that made Ron swallow hard and wet his extremely dry throat.
"Bearably." she said simply and looked at the window, just like the last time she was there. Ron just stared at her for a couple of long moments and then shook his head and thought about starting a little conversation.
"You visited me." he said softly and slightly thankfully with his low voice. Hermione turned her head towards him again.
"I did… Is that a problem?" she said rather coldly and snappishly. Ron hurried to reassure her.
"No! I- it's just that… that after a week… I mean… I thought you wouldn't come here ever again." he stammered slightly.
"Well, I probably wouldn't, but there are things we need to talk about and sort them out, so I had to." Hermione explained with an unemotional tone in her voice and Ron saw a rather inexplicable little shine in the depths of her eyes that utterly confused him.
"I see." he merely said in a whisper and he exhaled rather loudly before he continued, not quite sure how his wife would react on his words: "Either way, I'm glad to see you here…"
Hermione's pretty eyes widened in what Ron assumed to be pure surprise, but he couldn't actually realize if this was a good thing or not. He heard clearing her throat softly and peered at his navy blue orbs cautiously.
"As I've said, I came here to talk about things, so don't get your hopes up, because then you'll just fill up your head with mere illusions." Her voice was quite high-pitched and she said her opinion really fast, which, in the redhead's opinion, would possibly mean two things: either she was really frustrated and angry with him, or she didn't actually believe what she said. As for Ron, he wanted to believe that it was the latter. Not so comfortable silence filled the air between the couple, but neither of them knew what to say at the moment, so they let it surround them for some minutes. That of course until Ron, for once again, decided to speak first.
"So, where do you want us to start from?" he asked gently and looked at his entwined fingers that were resting on his lap at the moment. Hermione knitted slightly her eyebrows with confusion.
"What do you mean?" she asked annoyed. Ron glanced for a short second at her petite frame before he forced himself to look back at his trembling fingers.
"You said you want us to talk about our current situation, so where do you want us to start from? I guess you've thought about the whole process of our meeting with so much detail; I, on the other hand, to be honest, kept on thinking about which is the best way existent to show you how sorry I truly am and in how much deep shit I put us through, that I didn't actually consider the fact about what would we do when we'd see each other." Ron said sincerely and Hermione was quite surprised by his true words. She stared at him for a minute and then she cleared her throat softly again and started to speak.
"Well, the point is that I have to tell you something really important." Her voice was surprisingly soft and almost inaudible this time, as she wasn't daring to look her husband in the eye, facts that startled Ron in an instant.
"What happened, Hermione; what's wrong?" he asked her urgently, but still with softness apparent in his voice. Hermione looked at him for a brief moment and her eyes showed him how troubled and worried her soul was. He instantly felt the urge to get up and hug her protectively and letting no one harm her, but then he remembered that he was the one that caused her the greatest of harms, so he swallowed this sudden want of his forcibly.
"I found out something a few days ago." she whispered and exhaled quite noisily while she was bending her head down for a minute. Ron's eyes unconsciously widened a bit as they never left his wife's form out of their sight; he couldn't understand what was going on, but something in her suddenly fragile tone and on her expression made him think that whatever she had find out, either it'd be something really bad or it'd bring them a lot of trouble and more problems to add on the already huge pile of their existent ones. He wasn't quite sure which one of the options was more comforting and appealing at the moment, so he just waited for Hermione to continue. But when no sound came out of her lips, he decided to urge her some, even though he was quite sure that he would probably regret it the moment he'd hear about her 'discovery'.
"What is it?" he asked politely, showing her that he wanted to be there for her and solve this together, but at the same time underlining in his tone that he wasn't pressing her and she had her time to tell him whenever she felt ready. She seemed to catch his particular tone and looked at him for a second thankfully before trouble made its presence in her eyes again.
"I found out that… well, I found out that I'm pregnant." she said with new-found bravery in her voice and she looked cautiously at Ron, waiting probably for his reaction.
Blank. Blank. Blank….
For a couple of minutes, Ron wasn't able to think about anything, while his, almost out of their pale sockets, eyes were gazing at the woman in front of him without actually understanding what they were looking at.
"W-What?" he choked out and then he realized that his throat was completely dry, so he gulped hard, as he was never letting his eyes leave Hermione's ones.
"I'm pregnant." she confirmed almost inaudibly and took a deep, rather shaky breath before continuing: "For one month now…" Ron thought about it for a moment, without actually knowing how he could force his brain cells to go back to their work, with the pure shock still flowing into his veins with mad rush.
"Valentine's Day…" he whispered like he was lost in space and noticed that Hermione nodded slightly.
"When else?" she said with fragile, low voice and then she smiled bitterly. "Whenever we're ready or not, we're going to have a child." Ron immediately remembered the conversation they had some months ago he nodded once.
"Yeah, but you wanted that, right? And I wanted that as well…" he told her with what seemed to be a smooth, reassuring tone. Hermione seemed confused.
"You had said you hadn't such needs at the moment." she expressed her puzzlement and he instantly felt his blood circulating faster under the pale skin of his cheeks.
"Well… what I said had been a lie; I always wanted children with you, but I had to tell you that I didn't, because I knew you wanted to bring our sex-life's current state up and I just didn't dare to deal with this, so I came up with a small series of lies, which of course wasn't exactly my gladdest outlet." he explained quickly, yet sincerely. Hermione seemed to observe his face and his tone and then she talked.
"Either way we have to deal with something that complicates our already difficult situation a lot; because, for your information, I'm not going to abort it!"
"I wasn't going to ask you such a thing; I know how difficult it'll be for us, but I want this baby!" he said rather annoyed with his wife thinking of him so little, even though he had given her the right to do so. She exhaled softly.
"Anyway, I'm not in the mood to argue with you or make a comment right now, but we have to discuss about some urgent things." Hermione said tiredly and Ron nodded softly.
"Of course, I see…" he said, more to himself rather than her, and then he looked up at her. "What do you want us to sort out first?"
"I believe that the most important thing at the moment is where are you going to stay after they allow you to leave; you heard what Tobias said about you resting for some time after your stay here." she explained and the man on the bed gulped, having forgotten for a moment about this. She was right, of course; their state was quite equivocal at the moment and such things were quite ticklish to cope with; what should they do about this?
"And what have you decided about it?" he asked her gently, knowing that it would be really bold to just tell her his mere, lame opinion.
"Why do I have to come up with every solution; I'm quite sure that you're a great part of this and you should come up with something as well!" she snapped and glared acidly at him. Ron miraculously didn't lose his calmness this time.
"I just asked you because I'm sure you've already thought of something, while I have not, and after that, it would be just horrible, me making such an important decision while I'm the guilty party of the story- I believe that our priority right now is for you and the baby being as comfortable and peaceful as possible." he said seriously and that slightly surprised Hermione, but then she forced away any emotion from her face.
"Anyway… you're a patient as well and I want my child to meet their father, so we need to figure out this as well." she said and for a long moment she didn't speak, trying probably to find the courage or the right words to tell him what he was sure to be a decision she had been thinking about for the entire week. "I believe you should come home when they discharge you, at least for some time until you're healthy enough… healthy enough to do whatever you want to do with your life…" Ron instantly felt anger starting to boil into his chest and looked at her rather furiously.
"My life? What about our life, Hermione? What about all these things that are ours?" he exclaimed angrily and her eyes widened a bit from what the redhead presumed to be shock and slight fear. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, but he couldn't stand this anymore.
"I believe our life is somewhere away from us and it'll be this way for some time, until we figure out what's happening between us. For the moment, you'll just come back home when they allow you to do so; I think that's enough for the time being." she said out aloud her thoughts and then she stood up; Ron's head instantly jerked and his eyes opened wide with worry.
"Where are you going?" he asked straightaway. Hermione looked at him tiredly and sadly.
"This conversation was exhausting and rather long, so I'm going home." she explained simply and after looking some more seconds at her husband, she started to head towards the door. The man on the bed couldn't find the will to look away from her graceful, yet sorrowful, form and without even realizing it, his lips were parted and sound came out from the depths of his chest, along with his deep breath.
"Will you come back again some time?" he asked softly, making his wife peering at his characteristics for a moment before answering.
"Maybe." That's all she said. Ron wasn't satisfied by it, but he didn't show it to her. He was in deep thought for a moment that he almost didn't hear her saying a mere 'goodbye'. He looked at her lovely eyes for a second before replying gently:
"Have a good night, Hermione. And you should eat something nutritious before bed; you need to take vitamins now, for you and for the… for the baby." Hermione looked carefully at him for a moment and then she did something that surprised him, yet made him fill with some mere happiness, to no extend: she gave him a small, tired and sad smile for a brief second and then she nodded softly.
"I will…" she simply said and a short moment later, she was out of his sight. Ron stayed still for some minutes, just staring at the now empty space where Hermione was standing a few seconds ago, until he took a deep breath and lay completely on his bed, thinking about the things happened that day. Well, actually it was one, big thing and some others around it, but it still was enough for him to think about it for the next few centuries…
Hermione was pregnant… She had their child, their little baby, inside her… He wanted so badly at the moment to go on with that clichés almost every married couple said about an upcoming birth of a child, like the baby being 'the fruit of their love' or other, similar things, but he knew that in their case, love was missing at another world, far away from theirs, or at least he hoped for just now. He didn't actually dare to get his hopes really up, seeing how Hermione was behaving towards him at the moment, but never losing his hope at all; he wanted to be with her- no, he wanted to be with them, and he wouldn't give up this time; he would fight for their marriage and for their family…
And without realizing it, while he was terribly lost in this long train of his thoughts, his eyelids drifted shut and his agony was replaced by light, peaceful sleep, during which he dreamed about a little, beautiful baby smiling beamishly up to him and a happy, in love with him, Hermione…
…
1 month later
Ron flooed back to his house after a very long time and immediately let his orbs wander around the cozy living room, letting the sensation of mere welcoming and familiarity fill him warmly; even though the circumstances were different and somewhat fragile, he was still glad he was back there, to what he would always think as their home…
He took some hesitant steps forward, not sure if Hermione was there. Of course she had confirmed him that she would, but how could he be sure? She seemed to do things lately that totally weren't her and he was confused and unsure about how to behave around her, like he was thirteen all over again.
He suddenly heard soft steps coming towards the room and a minute later, she was in the room, a few meters away from him. He observed her petite frame for a moment and then he smiled softly.
"Hi." he whispered coyly and somewhat unsurely. Hermione looked at him before responding.
"I thought you'd come earlier." Her voice was steady and without much emotion and the fact made him nervous, but he thought that if every time she spoke at him like that, he was going to feel so unsure and nervous, he had already lost the battle.
"Tobias got me held up a bit; he wanted to do any sort of checks on me and make sure I knew exactly how and when to take each of my potions." he explained simply and then waited for her to speak. When any sort of reply came, he cleared his throat uncomfortably and took the strap of his pack in his slightly sweaty palm.
"I made some dinner, so if you want you can come and eat." she said simply and sat on an armchair, taking a book from the coffee table and burying her head in it, not giving Ron the chance to say anything more.
He started to head towards the stairs and climbed them up slowly, still feeling his muscles a bit numb and weak. He reached the rather narrow aisle and glanced at each of the doors there were on either side of it. He took a really deep breath and then he exhaled it softly, before he bravely opened a door on the right side of the corridor and entered the room hurriedly, before he changed his mind, a thing he knew it would be disastrous at the particular moment and for the particular reason…
…
After making sure everything in the bedroom was ok, he climbed down the stairs just as slowly as he had climbed them up some time ago, if not slower. He went to the kitchen and saw his wife there, already eating slowly from her plate. When she finally noticed him, she raised rather coldly her right eyebrow.
"You're late again." she simply said and started eating again. Ron unsurely went towards the table and sat at it.
"I was arranging the guests' room; I had to remove all my stuff there and such…" he whispered softly and for that, he received a cautious, piercing look from the woman across him, which lasted for a long moment, before her eyes returned back to her plate. Ron then looked down at the table, wanting to see what his lovely wife had prepared for the meal, feeling his mouth rather eager to savour every taste of the dishes. His eyes scanned the table eagerly, but the only things he saw was a large bowl of boiled peas and a plate full of risotto with mussels; his eyes widened with slight shock and he instantly moved them with force, so he could look at Hermione.
"Where's the food?" he asked urgently, his voice was shaky, but this time not because of nervousness... She jerked her head slowly and swallowed without rushing it, before speaking at him.
"I don't understand what you're talking about, Ronald; the food's right here." she replied politely and casually. That got on his nerves even more.
"Oh, but you do perfectly well, missy; you know that I am allergic to mussels and that I cannot eat peas!" he cried out angrily and leapt to his feet immediately. Hermione didn't even blink at the sudden outburst of his temper; she just looked at him casually.
"Well, when I was thinking what I should prepare for dinner, I had the sudden urge to eat risotto and peas, and then I thought 'what would be better than risotto with mussels?', so I just cooked it. Besides, I thought that they would send you all fed up, so I didn't have to cook for you as well." Hermione explained her reasoning, but it made Ron even angrier, but he just glared at her, breathing heavily. "So, if you want to eat you can eat of course, but if you don't intend to do so, I believe that your presence here is no longer inevitable." she continued with fake, icy politeness that made Ron want to swear loudly at her; instead of that, he just tried to calm his uneven, heavy breathing and tame his anger, and he walked hurriedly towards the fridge, grabbing a bottle of strawberry juice he found there and walked towards the small staircase, after murmuring a quite grumpy 'night' through his greeted teeth. He went instantly to his room and he closed the door a bit loudly, before he put the small bottle with the juice on the night-stand and started to take off his clothes. He just couldn't believe she was trying to take some kind of mere revenge by doing such… such childish and immature things to him. For Merlin's shake, he knew that he didn't deserve a lovely housewife or something like that, who would welcome him greatly and warmly and forget in a tick all of his horrible mistakes, but that was just… ugh! He just couldn't believe this! It was just so… so not her…
Without noticing, big tears started to escape from his eyes and pour down his face freely. He felt his knees not being able support his weight anymore so he just collapsed on the bed, while he was trying not to let his sobs escape from his tightly sealed lips. How they managed to become like this, such an unhappy and miserable (to say at the least) married couple, who was expecting a child, nevertheless! Of course he knew he started this; he started this horrible running match between them, but he wanted neither to win for himself nor to let her win just to satisfy her; he wanted them to win this race together; no one loses, no one wins alone. They supposed to be together…
Ron kept on his crying for some hours, thinking all the time, feeling restless and at the same time, really tired. He wanted some mere peace, but he wasn't sure if he was able to afford it…
And while Ron Weasley was letting his salty tears hit his face, he didn't actually know that at the same time, on the other side of the narrow corridor, tears were being shed freely, as well…
- Well, what do you think of this? I think it was quite unexeptected, but I don't actually know if any of you had thought of this happening... Well, there was a little, tiny hint in the last chapter (Hermione threw up), but wasn't actually 'too visible' or something... Anyway, I just hope you all enjoy this chapter.
- And of course, I believe this is the right time for some FEEDBACK!!! That would be utterly appreciated!
- And I'll try to update as soon as possible. Until then... :) xxx
