I love all the reviews, suggestions and constructive criticism! Keep it coming! I appreciate the suggestion to slow down a bit, and I'm going to take that advice. I just get impatient when writing, especially when I already have an idea where to send the story. This was a difficult chapter to write because don't we all just want Hook to just go away? For the sake of "keeping it real", it just isn't that simple. Wouldn't be true to either characters. Anyway, here's a tough moment to get through, and then we start on the good stuff :-) Enjoy!
Trying To Explain
Hook walked in slowly and clicked the door shut behind him. As his eyes met Emma's, his pain and anger were plain as day. Emma reached for him and he allowed her to pull him into a tight embrace. For a moment he forgot his emotional pain and was just happy that Emma was safe.
They held each other tight as soft tears fell down Emma's cheeks. She sniffled as Hook slowly pulled out of the embrace and took a step back. Emma met his eyes, looking sadly back at him.
His hurt and anger returned, and he had to look away.
"I don't remember much," Emma said as she wiped her tears away. "But whatever I may have done to hurt you, I'm sorry."
Hook nodded and bit the inside of his cheeks. He looked at her, trying to mask his anger. "How long?"
Emma furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" She asked defensively.
"How. Long," he said forcefully.
"How long what, Killian?"
Hook huffed out a laugh. "How long have you had these feelings for Regina? Why did you keep stringing me along if she was what you wanted all along? Why would you tell me that you-" he couldn't finish that sentence. It hurt too much.
Emma ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "It's not like that, Killian. I didn't know! I wasn't stringing you along."
Killian scoffed as he started pacing again. "Well, forgive me if I find that quite hard to believe."
Emma let her palms drop to the bed and looked at him like a sad puppy. He looked expectantly at her. She sighed. "Look. Maybe I thought-at most maybe it was just a passing attraction. That's it. That doesn't mean I don't feel something for you."
"A passing attraction?! Come on Swan, she's your bloody True Love!"
Emma gripped her temples in frustration. "I didn't know that. Regina and I are barely even friends, Killian. You know that!"
Killian nodded. "Yes, friends who used to be bitter enemies and hated each other and yet somehow harbor secret feelings for each other."
Emma shook her head slowly. "I don't know what to say about that. But it doesn't change how I feel about you."
"Oh really. And exactly how is it you feel about me, Swan?" He asked bitterly. "I think we both know your little declaration of love was made out of fear. You didn't know if you'd survive, so it was now or never." He shook his head as Emma just looked down at her lap. "I don't know, maybe you were just using me as a substitute since you didn't think you could have what you really wanted." When Emma just looked up at him and didn't reply, his heart sunk. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"No," Emma practically whined. "I-I don't think so, I mean-God, I don't know, Killian. This is all very confusing to me. It hasn't even really sunk in yet. I mean-it's crazy," Emma's voice faded as she knew this was a terrible explanation. It wasn't fair to him. She looked up at him. He looked defeated and sad. "I'm sorry. I guess I just...have some thinking to do."
Hook nodded slowly and ran his hand through his hair. He knew what came next. So he decided to let Emma off the hook (so to speak). Here was no reason to make this any harder than it was already. "And we both know what conclusion you will come to."
He quickly sat on the bed and put his hand behind Emma's neck, resting his forehead on hers. Her hand came up and held his wrist. They both fought back tears. "I love you, Emma. Enough to let you go if I need to. If I'm not your happy ending...then I won't keep you from it." His voice broke as he stared intently into Emma's eyes. He could see how she was in pain as well. He gave her one last solid kiss on the mouth before tearing himself up from the bed. He pulled the door open and tore past the Charmings and away from Emma.
***Stay tuned! Up next...Regina stops in for a visit! :-)***
