I thought you readers deserved a prolonged period of non-sadness, so I waited to post this one.

Guest reviews!

Phineas A: It is something of a mystery, I guess. What really happened to Phineas? Will we find out? The answers it these questions and more will follow. Also, I called this story "Dead Man's Diary" because it is the transcription of the thoughts of a person in the afterlife. The diary of a dead man, if you so choose.

shadowstalker: Me too! Why do you think I wrote so much of this?

Dreadwing216: Might I refer you to the summary? Your hopes might be raised.

Guest: I'll have to look into it. He might have copied my idea. Or not.

LoveYouEpicThoth: Did I mention how much I love your reviews? Well, I do. They even get a special mention on my profile page, and never fail to make me laugh. And it's okay to leave the '3' out. I'm pretty sure I am the only one whose username starts with 'EpicThoth'.


Today I decide to follow Perry through his day, but mainly because I want to avoid everyone else. It breaks my heart to see them, today more than ever. On this, the fifth anniversary of my death, there will be no happiness within them.

Nobody will wish Isabella a happy birthday today. They will simply remind her that she is a year older.

"Eighteen, huh?" they will ask. She will simply nod in response.

Or: "It's your birthday. Have... cake."

They go out of their way to avoid congratulating her. It's what she wants.

I don't belong in an environment so devoid of life, of excitement.

And even though Perry is now a cold, empty agent, missing all the passion which he must have had before, his day will be better than the alternative.

I know he's missing the passion because Doofenshmirtz complains of it.

"What happened to you?" he'll ask occasionally. "You used to be so much fun as a nemesis. Now you're just like a robot programmed to destroy me."

"I'll be your nemesis," Norm will occasionally interject, but Doofenshmirtz shrugs him off, saying, "You couldn't teach a vampire to suck your blood."

But even though Perry is passionless, heartless, I will follow him. So I sulk over to where the platypus lies now, waiting for him to start moving.


If it feels like—gah! I keep typing lime there!—anyways, if it feels like this story is dragging on and on without going anywhere, note that at my normal preferred length we would just be getting into chapter two. So don't worry. The plot is coming, and soon.

~Review! If you please.