Chapter Nine: Nightmare of You
March 30, 2008
It was so dark and deadly calm in the grassy meadow that overlooked LaPush Beach; the only thing I could hear was the faint roar of waves crashing against jagged rocks and damp sand. The tall brown grass that the meadow supplied licked the welts and cuts of my naked back as I was drug further away from the ebony '68 Super Sport that I had grown used to; the same one that I experienced my first kiss in during the ending credits of "Barefoot In The Park". I whimpered in agony as a sharp pebbled rolled and scratched down my already sore spine.
"Shut the fuck up..." A deep voice, his voice, assaulted me as he flung my weak body down into a small sand dune. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as the cold Forks air rolled down my naked body. This somehow intensified the pain and burning sensation behind each wound.
I had my eyes closed all this time. I was too fucking disgusted, but most of all scared to death, to look at him. I would have continued to play possum if it wasn't for the throaty, wicked chuckle that filled my ears. My eyes flickered open just as I saw the glint of silver rising above my stomach...my large, naked pregnant stomach. James smirked at me, "It's a shame Edward's not here to protect you. It's cruel, really..."
Before I can fathom what was happening, the hand that was brandishing the glittering switchblade began to descend downward toward my stomach as Gosling began to kick...
"No! No! Not my baby!" I felt the bloodcurdling scream escape my throat as I fought back against the barrier holding me back. Tears began spilling from my eyes, blinding me further in the darkness. My fists beat against a warm muscular chest as I continued to fight him off.
"Bella!"
"Please God, no....not my baby! Plea-"
"BELLA! WAKE UP!"
My eyes flew open to meet a pair of concerned green eyes. Edward was there. I was in our dark bedroom and not on LaPush Beach. I looked between us and quickly ran my hands down my naked body down to my stomach: no cuts, no bruises...nothing. I was safe. Most importantly, Gosling was safe. I let out a sob of relief as I felt forward into Edward's open arms; shivering from the aftershock of the nightmare.
"Oh Edward! H-h-he w-was gonna kill our baby...."
"Shh...Bella, it was only a dream. You're okay. The baby is okay."
I wiped my tears from eyes before I looked back up into his eyes; the light of the outside street lamp that gently floated into our bedroom window made the green of his eyes glow a faint jade. His face was flushed with worry and exhaustion from, what I assume, was a direct reaction to the fight I put up. "I-I'm sorry."
Edward pulled me closer, rubbing my slightly swollen stomach soothingly, as I slowly began to calm down. I was in my fourth month of pregnancy and, overall, I was doing well...except for the awful dreams that he starred in. It was always the same: the beach on a dark, stormy night, the glistening blade of the switchblade knife that he kept in the glove compartment of his car, the hatred in his grave voice...the nightmares were the same every time, but somehow, they grew more terrifying.
"Are you okay, Mama Goose? Do you wanna talk about it?" Edward murmured as he gently kissed my neck.
I forced a smile and nodded half-heartedly, "It's okay...must be my hormones. Go back to sleep, sweetie."
He watched me a moment longer before kissing my lips, "Wake me if you need me, okay?" I nodded as I watched him fall back against the pillows, drifting back to sleep. I leaned back against the padded headboard of our bed; not ready to fall back asleep yet. I stroked the taunt skin of my belly protectively as I thought back on these last four months. No one besides Edward, Alice (who was now due to give birth to her first child any day), and Jasper knew about the pregnancy. That was at my request: I didn't want to announce it so early on in the pregnancy.
I also wasn't ready to face Charlie just yet.
Edward rolled onto his side, facing me, as he slept peacefully. He moved his arm and protectively draped it across my lap in front of my stomach as he let out a deep sigh of content. I smiled some as I reached down to caress a tuft of his bronze hair lovingly; feeling safe and completely relaxed by his very presence.
Time past and soon I began to feel sleepy again. Hesitantly, I slid back down under the covers and allowed myself to drift off into a much needed dreamless sleep.
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The Next Day
The thick taps of rain slapping against the roof and windows of the bedroom had woken me from a rare dreamless sleep. I purred lightly as I rolled over to cuddle my body closer to my sleeping husband; glancing over at the clock on his night table.
7:36 a.m.
A nervous sigh escaped my lips as I allowed my brain to run through today's itinerary. Today was Sunday...Sunday normally meant spending the morning in the kitchen making a casserole or dessert to take to our weekly family dinner. Basically, the Cullens and the Swans with each sides close extended family would get together each Sunday; one family playing host each week.
Last week we had a nice dinner and poker game at Esme and Carlisle's. This week, dinner was at our house. Normally, this wouldn't bother me. In fact, I usually looked forward to the visits, but this night was going to be a strained one.
It was the night I was going to announce my pregnancy; a pregnancy that I kept rather concealed for four months. It was not an easy thing to do at first, but Edward and I didn't know exactly how to break the news plus we didn't want to announce anything too soon; just in case I wasn't able to carry the baby a full term due to my past medical issues that were brought on by James' attack.
As time went on and it was clear through constant doctor visits and numerous ultrasounds that our Gosling was doing fine. Along with the positive doctor visits came the formalities of being pregnant: the peculiar cravings intensified, the morning sickness had started to slow down, and my stomach was now beginning to form a defined bump. For a short time, this bump was easily hidden with oversized sweaters and t-shirts; but as time went on, a few of our close family members and friends began to notice the changes in my appetite and my not so slender figure.
"Ah...Bells...can't you save a little mashed potatoes for the rest of us?" A whiney Emmett whispered in my ear during our last dinner get together.
"Bella, didn't you just have a Heath Blizzard just a couple of hours ago? Are you sure you want another?" Debra had asked during a recent outing in Seattle.
And then there was that incident with Rosalie in the Urban Outfitters' dressing room. I was trying on a sundress that I was considering on buying for a charity picnic that the hospital was holding the first Saturday of April. The white eyelet fabric under the florescent lighting of the store made the dress almost translucent and it was very possible to see the small protruding bump.
"Bells...not to be a vain bitch or anything, but have you put on a TINY bit of weight? Hon, I know Esme's mashed potatoes and crescent rolls are delightful and all, but I've got to agree with Em. Limit your portions, sweetie!"
With friends and family being this observant, it was a wonder my father didn't catch on these subtle changes. Thankfully, his inane threats to my husband began to cease once our wedding rings encircled our fingers. In fact, he had become much closer to Edward since we returned from our honeymoon: even inviting him into a exclusive game of 'shooting hoops' with Emmett and a couple other guys from the station. Edward was pleased with this recent development and I was optimistic that with the recent approval of Edward's and my relationship that Dad would not take my surprising news too negatively.
I finally rolled out of bed quietly around 8 o'clock and padded across the room to the bathroom to begin getting ready for the upcoming events that were scheduled today. I completely undressed as I waited for the shower to heat up and took my daily prenatal vitamins. Waiting a few more seconds, I slipped my hand between the opening of the shower curtain and groaned in frustration as the lukewarm water lightly clapped against my skin. Just as I was about to pull my hand out from the shower, a pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around my protruding stomach; their soft hands gently massaging the spot under my navel. I purred lightly and leaned back against him; relishing the heat that came off his bare chest, "I thought you said last night that you were going to sleep in?"
I felt him shrug as his lips pressed themselves against the crown of my head, "It's starting to thunder. You really should wait to take a shower with it about to storm."
I watched as he reached into the shower to shut off the water. "Hey..." I mumbled in protest; earning one of his signature smirks in the process.
"Besides Isabella, it is still too early for a Sunday to even be awake. Let's go back to bed. We have all afternoon to prepare for family night..." He murmured against the hollow of my ear in between kisses.
"Edward..." I whimpered; not in protest, but in absolute arousal.
Damn my over reactive pregnancy hormones. Logic went out the window whenever Edward Cullen touched me.
"Bella..." he mocked me with a chuckle as he pulled me closer against him; my bare back flush against his bare chiseled chest. His hands slipped upward from cupping my baby bump up to my breasts; gently massaging my tender nipples with extra special care not to hurt me. I bit my bottom lip and tilted my head back to kiss him slowly as I ran my fingertips up and down his arms as he continued to lavish my nipples with delicate attention. The tip of his tongue lightly grazed the slit of my mouth as our passion began to build. Smiling, I parted my lips and the tip of my tongue met his and start to lightly caress. I stifled a giggle as he released a pent-up groan.
Before I could repudiate him, Edward broke our kiss and scooped me; swiftly carrying me back into our bedroom. I placed tender kisses against his neck and shoulder until he laid me back down in the center of our unkempt bed. He grinned crookedly as he pulled off his boxers before he crawling up onto the bed until he was hovering above me. I smiled back as I craned my neck up to kiss him leisurely; allowing my hands to explore his torso and the 'V' leading down to his cock. I timidly ran my fingertips up and down his hardness, which merited a deep growl of satisfaction that resonated in between our sealed lips. Before I could grasp him and pleasure him further into a deeper stupor, his lips broke away from mine and slowly made a protracted trajectory down my chin, neck, the valley between my heaving breasts; finally pausing at my baby bump. I watched with veneration, reaching down to run my fingers through his tussled bronze hair, as his eyes gazed at the bump with wonder and a deep ardor. His lips curled slightly into a smile before falling down to meet my stomach; peppering the skin with moist kisses that made my toes curl and body shiver. His fingertips skimmed the landscape of taunt skin underneath my navel, tickling me lightly and causing me to nibble on my bottom lip as I watched.
"My beautiful wife..." he whispered against my lower abdomen. His voice held such pride and infatuation as he reaffirmed my role in our relationship; his simple praise brought tears to my eyes, which caused me to shiver as I let them fall.
He looked up at me in worry, " Love, are you okay?"
I smiled and tittered with a slight nod, "These imprudent, over reactive hormones."
He kissed my tummy once more, "I only speak the truth."
His lips slowly trailed back up my body until they encountered my lips. The kiss, mixed with my salty tears, was dulcet, ardent, and sincere. I stroked the nape of his neck as he pulled away slightly, still allowing his swelling lips to sweep delicately against my own.
"I want you so much, Bella."
"Then take me...I'm already yours..." I whispered as I flicked the tip of my tongue across his lips.
I was about to mount him when he stopped me, "No...I need to be closer to you. Bella, I need to hold you..."
He ushered me back down to the mattress and slowly moved me onto my side. Soon, his body was spooning mine and his warm breath smelling of peppermint and oranges swept across the hollow of my ear. I purred as his hand slid in between my legs and cupped my inner thigh of the leg that was pointing outward. He lifted the leg gingerly, spreading me, and rested it on top of his own. His hands slid around me: one gently grazing one of my pebbled nipples before sliding down to cup my tummy and the other slowly massaging my susceptible clit. Slowly, he slid inside me; eliciting moans from both myself and him that mixed with the tapping of the rain and the rumbling of thunder. He moved slowly in and out of me while planting soft kisses to my shoulder, neck, and the shell of my ear.
"Oh fuck, Bella...you feel so damn good..."
I gasped in pleasure and murmured mutual compliments as he pulled me closer into him. I reached down to hold the hand that was caressing my tummy; lacing our fingers together. I allowed my fingertips to stroke his wedding band and the simple act alone made me smile. My other hand reached back to ease his head down toward my own. I turned my head and met his warm gaze that was filled with such intensity and crushed my lips against his trembling ones.
Our lovemaking these last few months has been deliberate and cherished for the sake of my sanity. I was hesitant about having sex while I was pregnant; too consumed with this fear that it will somehow hurt our baby. Edward was patient, but urged me to discuss these fears with my doctor. After several "Are you sure?"s and "Exactly How?"s, I was convinced that it would be okay to have sex through the first and second trimester of my pregnancy.
This morning was no different. Edward's caresses and movements remained thorough, but ever so vigilant. He watched for anything that may cause me discomfort as we continued: monitoring my facial expressions, body movement, and vocal reactions. The rain began to tap harder against our bedroom window pane as our gasps and moans reached higher octaves; matching our growing climax. Finally, we tumbled and whirled downward from our magnificent high.
My body finally stopped vacillating and my gasping breaths finally fell into an even current. I still grasped Edward's hand in my own; purring as the supple pad of his thumb slid in unvarying rhythm across my stomach. He stayed inside me as he leaned in to kiss my neck once more, not minding the thin sheet of perspiration that had collected.
"I love you, Isabella Cullen."
I smiled, tilting my face up to meet his own. In between kisses, I murmured softly, "That's why we're here."
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We managed to pull ourselves out of bed by noon; giving us enough time to shower, dress, tidy up around the house, and prepare dinner. I ,eventually after scanning over my recipe cards and the Joy of Cooking, decided on a Charlie Swan favorite: Grandma Swan's beef stroganoff, fresh green beans, mashed potatoes (using Esme's famous recipe), biscuits, and apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream.
I was thinking that maybe if I filled him up with good, but heavy food that he'd either be too tired and doped up with homemade goodness to care that I was pregnant or, worst case scenario, be stricken immobile; thus making it impossible to attack my super sperm carrying husband.
Better make sure I give Dad a few bottles of beer throughout dinner too...just in case.
As I put the last item, a steaming gravy boat, down on the dinner table, the front door bell rang.
"Got it!" Edward called as his Converse covered feet clapped against the hardwood floorboards of the foyer. I listened as the red front door creaked open and a series of scuffling feet entered our home. Voices that I soon placed with Rosalie and Emmett traveled from the foyer into our living room where the well-respected fold-out card table was set up for multiple rounds of poker. Shortly after their arrival, the tires of Esme and Carlisle's Mercedes S55 AMG crunched the gravel then finally came to a halt outside in our driveway. Soon, the clicking heels of their feet came through the door and into the foyer; voices high and melodic as they greeted their sons blissfully before making their way into the living room.
A raucous peal of laughter from Emmett broke my stride in the kitchen. Following the sound, I found myself in the living room looking where Emmett was pointing to my father's cruiser pulling up. In the backseat was my Aunt Amanda and Uncle Rob. Amanda's face was a barely reigned in mask of extreme disapproval, while Rob's was lit up in an extremely amused grin. Normally, they drove Amanda's '57 Chevy Bellaire, but today it was in the shop. I could tell that Deb was getting an earful on the lessons of how uncool it was to be confined to the backseat of a police cruiser and it probably sounded as though it was coming out of the mouth of a sailor. I laughed nervously as I returned to the duties in the kitchen.
By the time I finished cooking and setting the table, the poker game was in full swing. I wasn't a fan of poker, so most of the time I stayed in the kitchen or watched in between pages of the latest book I was reading. Tonight, I kept in on the game with frequent updates from my brother-in-law, who was deemed tonight's 'beer wench'. Last update of the game status was fifteen minutes before I called everyone to dinner: Emmett, with another beer too many in his hand, declared that my husband would be putting in a lot overtime at the hospital after tonight because he was 'creaming his ass with wicked hands'.
When I called everyone to the table, Emmett's updates were confirmed as my begrudged husband muttered a few swears under his breath as he pulled a crisp fifty from his wallet. I smirked and shook my head at the scene before greet our family members as they came into our dining room one by one.
Returning to the kitchen to bring out the food, I realized Amanda was following close behind me.
"Hey Bells, need any help?" she asked a little to brightly.
"Sure, why not?" I replied cautiously.
Amanda picked up some of the heavier items and waited patiently for me to decide which dishes to take in first. She was swaying slightly as she often did when weighing out a question in her mind. It was something that had drew Rob to her, one of her endearing quirks.
"You know, I like pie as much as the next girl Bells, but if you keep exploring your love of sweets you're going to end up with plenty to show for it like I did," she chuckled heartily then continued, "Seriously though, I'm a nurse Bells and, even though I might be blind without my glasses, I pay attention. You can't hide that kind of stuff from me."
Amanda nodded knowingly to my protruding bump that I kept hidden underneath one of Edward's baggy Dartmouth sweatshirts. I should have thought she would be one of the first to truly figure it out. I sighed and nodded.
"You know, you have to tell Charlie. If Deb asks me I can't lie. You know how she gets with the grating questions and what not," she said with an amused edge.
"Tonight is the night," I smiled with fake enthusiasm as my chest began to feel tight.
Amanda set down the plates and placed a hand on my shoulder, "You know Bells, I got your back. It's just how I roll. Seriously, don't be freaked out. Charlie will either freak out, which will earn him a swift kick to the ass from me, or he will be cool with it. Either way, he'll be ok."
Reclaiming the dishes she had set down, Amanda gave me a lopsided smirk and walked out to the dining room.
Well, that's one person in the know.
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It was when I was in mid chew of forkful of my stroganoff when it happened.
The clouds parted, the sun shown briefly, and then, at last, all hell broke loose.
"So, the Newton boy's wife is expecting. I swear I don't know what he is thinking," Charlie began his rant, "Kids today just don't know the responsibility it takes to have a baby and they jump in where they shouldn't. I just don't think you should have a baby right after you get married, it's just not sensible."
As the blood drained from my face I saw Amanda elbow Rob out of the corner of my eye.
"You know, Charlie, you had Bella shortly after you and Renee were married and you didn't do too badly," Rob chimed in.
"Didn't do too badly," Charlie repeated, "We were living hand to mouth barely able to feed ourselves let alone Bella. How is that not too badly?"
I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks and began to notice that each of the Cullens were turning towards me, one by one, with a look I thought was understanding on their faces.
"But Bella turned out alright," Rob responded, "didn't she?"
As Charlie began to nod in agreement a dark shadow crossed his face. His head jerked to me and his eyes were on me like heat seeking missiles.
"Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen, are you pregnant?" he asked, his face so red it could have led Santa's sleigh instead of Rudolph.
The stares and low murmurs weighed down the room as I cleared my throat; dropping my fork into the bed of mashed potatoes that I was about to happily shovel in before all this shit came rolling in. Damn it, couldn't he wait to bring up babies until dessert at least?
I exhaled, feeling the last bit of stroganoff hit the pit of my stomach, and finally answered, "Yeah...I am...what about it, dad?" Damn these raging pregnancy hormones. I couldn't hold back the tartness in my voice. My reaction brought on the loud clinks of silver hitting china and gasps.
"Oh Bella dear! That is wonderful! How far along are you?" Esme's motherly voice cooed with excitement. She was not oblivious; she was trying to be a cheerleader of sorts.
"Four months...a honeymoon baby," I said smugly. I didn't notice how Edward was gently squeezing my kneecap in effort to shut me up until after the words fell from my lips.
By that point, it was too late to take anything back.
"Four months...FOUR MONTHS! YOU BEEN CARRYING SATAN'S SPAWN FOR FOUR DAMN MONTHS!!!"
"CHARLES GREGORY SWAN! YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! THIS IS NOT THE TIME..." My stepmother, Deb, started in her stern voice before being cut off by my enraged father.
"When is the damn time then, Deb?! Damn it! You can't possibly be proud that she is pregnant! She is too young to be a mother! THEY ARE BOTH TOO YOUNG AND IRRESPONISBLE TO BE PARENTS!"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!"
My fists were sore from clenching and banging them against the tabletop; causing all the china to shiver and the gravy boat to spew out onto the crisp white tablecloth that I had washed that morning. I didn't care though. I didn't care that my Catholic in-laws looked at me in shock like I morphed into some sort of ugly creature. I didn't care that my nice tabletop was now stained indefinitely. I didn't care if my father's feelings would be hurt. I was erratic, emotional, and VERY pregnant. I cradled my tummy protectively as I allowed my anger to break.
"DON'T YOU DARE EVER REFER TO MY HUSBAND AS SATAN AND DON'T YOU DARE EVER REFER TO MY CHILD AS SPAWN, CHARLIE! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?! YOU LEFT BY MYSELF FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS, CHARLIE! YOU SPENT YOUR ENTIRE TIME AT THE STUPID STATION MAKING SURE THE TOWN OF FORKS FELT PROTECTED! YOU LEFT ME TO GROW UP ON MY OWN! WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU! EDWARD WOULD NEVER, EVER LEAVE OUR CHILD..."
"OH REALLY?" My father roared, his voice filled with rage and deep hurt, as he jumped up from his chair and stood up to tower over us. "HE LEFT YOU ONCE, DIDN'T HE? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE WON'T DUMP YOU AGAIN???"
I felt the tears prickle my eyes as I shook my head vehemently, "If you had been around more often...helping mom...loving her the way she deserved....maybe, just maybe, her heart wouldn't have just gave up...maybe your lack of empathy wouldn't have killed my mother!"
With that, I stormed off, leaving my poor Edward to do damage control. Before slamming my bedroom door, I screamed out once more,
"STAY AWAY FROM US, DAD...UNLESS YOU WANT TO KILL ME OFF TOO!"
Author's Note: Okay, first, let me apologize for the delay in update. I was having some severe writer's block that actually got me to the point where I was thinking about quitting this story. Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole. I was just worried that this story was getting boring for you all to read. Hopefully this chapter spices your reading experience up. It took me two weeks to decide what to do with it. Good news is that I feel better about the direction the story is going now and will be continuing it...even updating regularly now that I have gotten past the block.
So, special thanks goes out to amandacullen84 for collaborating with me on this chapter and for giving me pointers whenever I was stuck.
I WILL BE WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER TONIGHT AND TOMORROW NIGHT AFTER WORK. So, watch for updates. Again, I'm sorry for the delay in updates. Hopefully, I haven't lost you all.
Please review and tell me what you think! I appreciate the feedback! :-)
-toxicbluecrayon
