AN: PUHLEASE- review me… my ego can't handle the implied rejection of the phantom reader- Good or bad tell me what you think!!

EPOV

"What are you gonna do man?" Jasper asked as I paced in the door way of the cafeteria.

"I don't know are they mad what have they been saying?" I asked nodding at Bella and Alice sitting at the table talking.

"They've been saying like Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Edward's a prick." He smirked.

"That's bad." I grumble. Jasper shrugs and walks off into the building. I am so fucked. She has to know why else is she dressed like a wet dream.

"Hey." The sweetest voice broke me out of my narcotic pacing and the verbal ass kicking I was giving myself. Oh god she was beautiful and that outfit so low and so tight. Want to touch the hiney. Wait shit is she talking to me.

"Ahh, hey?" I said nervously.

"Do you have any skills?" she asks.

"What?" I ask confused. What is with these girls and their weird fucking code talk.

"You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." She giggled. She looks so sexy when she relaxed and laughing, with her tits bouncing up and down. Ugh focus.

"What?" I asked again completely dazzled out of my flippin mind.

She laughed and ran her fingers along her collarbone and took a step closer. "Do you have any story writing skills?" she breathed.

"I.. aaahhh, shit Bella I'm sorry, I found it and I read it and it was just so. I didn't know whose it was and I was going to give it back, but I just kept reading it and them Emmett got it and… fuck I'm just sorry." I hung my head bracing myself to get punched in the gut or something but nothing happened and I opened my eyes to see the sweetest look on her face.

"So, what are you going to do to make it up to me?" she asked.

"Anything." I whisper.

"Ok, Sexward. I think you owe me a fuck hot story and I want it in my hands before school tomorrow morning." She demanded.

"ugh, I don't know Bella, I don't think I can you know." I stammered. She held up her tiny hand to stop me and closed the gap between us and placed her palm flat on my chest and looked straight into my eyes.

"Please." She whispered just inches from my mouth. I nodded like a fucking bobble head and she giggled and walked back to her lunch table.

Bella Swan just indirectly touched my nipple causing me to agree to write smut. I must be fucking nuts.

I pull out a notebook and began writing as soon as my ass hit the chair in biology but that wasn't working I could see Bella and I was getting so wound up I kept fucking losing it and going for the big O in the third or fourth sentence, this is a story and I have zero stamina.

I kept trying to brainstorm the rest of the day and still wasn't getting any where. I really wanted this to work, I went back to the seen of the crime so to speak and sat at the table where I found the dirty little notebook and tried to focus.

"What's up man, you skipping practice today?" Emmett called.

"Yeah, I ah gotta write something." I yelled back and unfortunately Emmett jogged over.

"What are you writing banana hammock?" he craned his neck to see over my shoulder.

"Don't fucking worry about Nancy." I grumbled and tried to cover up the notebook but he snatched anyway.

"You wanna do Bella doggie style?" He asked

"No, I mean yes, fuck I don't know. She wants a dirty story and it's not like I wrote for us to go outside or anything it's just the style." I explain

"How about something called crouching tiger hidden penis?" He laughed. Just as Rose walked up and grabbed the notebook out of Emmett's hands

"He spelled "coming" wrong. It's "cummi-"... oh, that's gross!" She laughed before I snapped it away from her.

Rose smiled and patted my arm. "Don't worry if things go well you might be showing her your O-face."

"Oh... Oh... Oh! You know what I'm talkin' about. Oh!" Emmett added twisting his face in fake pleasure and guffawed loudly as Rose pulled him away toward the field.

"Thanks for nothing fuckers!" I called after them. I threw the notebook and pen in my book bag and head out to my car. Maybe if I go home and relieve some ahh tension I will be able to focus.

BPOV

"So what do you think he's gonna write?" Alice asks. I shrug

"Don't know I saw him writing all through fourth period and again outside after classes today. Let's hope its better that having a conversation with him. Oh Bella, groans loudly hold still while I pull my own sexy hair." I chuckle only to get hit in the face with popcorn.

"Aaahhh what was that for you fucking tart." I cried and Alice laughs.

"You fucking love him." She states causing me to dramatically roll my eyes. "You ever read those stories you write?" she asks when I don't respond to her lunacy.

"Ahh yeah duh." I scoff.

"Yeah, so you notice that you describe Edward fuck me Cullen in every single of them?" she raises her eyebrows expectantly.

"The fuck you say garden gnome, none of my characters have names ever." I say defensively.

"I didn't say they had names Lame-ella, I said you describe him in every story." She said confidently. She pulled the notebook out from under my bed and flipped it open.

"Story fourteen. The bronze haired pizza boy with the piercing green eyes" she flipped again "Story thirty five. The copper haired football player with the emerald eyes. Should I go on?" She questions.

"Whatever, so I have a type, so spank me. It doesn't mean anything." I deflect.

"Then why is the chick in every story you?" she grins.

"Fucking leprechauns, don't you need to shoot a rainbow out of your ass right about now?" I reply angrily.

She dances over to me and kisses my forehead and I grumble.

I can't get Alice's words out of my head after she leaves. There is no way I love Edward Cullen, there just silly stories they don't mean anything. Tomorrow should be interesting at the very least.

I'm upstairs getting ready for school when the door bell rings. I dash down the stairs and through the door open. Nobody. I stepped out on the porch only to catch the taillights of Edward's Volvo headed down the street and I see a red covered notebook sitting on the porch.

I pick up the notebook and head inside and lie on the couch and flip it open to the first page a note falls out into my chest. I unfold it and sigh, he has nice hand writing.

Bella,

I thought about giving you the finished product and tearing out the first few attempts but decided not too, you didn't get to edit your thoughts before I read them so I will allow you the same courtesy. Please protect my nasty thoughts for I have left them with you, well most of them.

Love,

Edward

Story 1

Hey Bella, you look so fucking hot today in that school girl outfit I just want to lick you and suck on your tits and rub your clit and I will pull your hair when I'm coming and you would yell out my name you dirty dirty sex kitten

Story 2

Bella I want to fuck you doggie style right here in bio on the lab table.

Story 3

Crouching Tiger Hidden Penis. Fucking Emmett and is stupid ideas.

Story 4

" That was an amazing workout, your such a big strong personal trainer Edward." Bella giggled and rubbed my bicep with her tiny hands. "I'm all dirty and sweaty now, I need a shower." She pouts and sticks out her full lower lip. "You can use my shower" I purr "But only if I get to wash your back." I smile at her as she grabs my hand and drags me back to the showers.

Story 5

She is so sexy lying sprawled out on her stomach on the floor with her knees bent crossing and uncrossing her ankles while she reads a book. I can't stop myself I have to touch her. I slide off the couch and into the floor and slowly run one of my hands up her leg to her thigh. I can just see the bottom of her ass in her dark blue boy cut panties. She shivers at my touch and turns slightly to smile at me over her shoulder. I replace my hand with my tongue and run it bit by bit up her leg to the back of her knee and the up the inside of her thigh all the way to the edge of her panties.

"Your tongue is so cold." She whispers and I blow out a breath across the trail I left with my tongue on her hot skin. She lets out a delicate moan and let's her head drop forward losing her hold on her book it tumble to the ground in front of her. I take this as a sign to continue exploring her body. I bring my hands up and lightly smooth them over her ass and up her back and position myself to lie next to her. I can feel the heat rolling off her and press my hips into the side of her leg causing her to moan again.

"Please touch me." she pleads. I run my hand back down her spine and over her firm round ass and slip my fingers between her legs and run them along the seam of her panties just over her soaking wet center. She cries out a little louder so I increase the speed of my hand. She begins to rock back a little to increase the friction and begs "Please more." I pull my hand away and pull her panties down to her knees and she kicks them the rest of the way off and lays back flat on her stomach with her legs slightly parted.

I run my hand back up her thigh and she hums her approval as my fingers over her slick center and enter her with my thumb and let my other fingers slide into place over her clit. I continue to push into her and rub circles on her clit while I kiss and lick all the exposed skin I can reach and grind myself into her leg to create friction for myself, she notices my rhythmic movements and snakes her hand between use and dips it below the waistband of my jeans I hiss in pleasure when she comes in direct contact with the head of my cock and she moans louder causing my dick to twitch in her hand. Her hand is so warm as she runs it up and down the length it feels like she is spreading fire across my body.

I use my free hand to turn her head toward me and I can't stop myself I know I'm breaking all the rules as I lean forward and crush my mouth to hers. She is panting and bucking her hips and matching her speed on my dick with the speed of my hand in side of her. Her movements become less regular and I can feel her walls tightening around my finger. She feels amazing, so soft and wet and warm on my hand as I stroke her through her release she falls breathless onto the floor and is limp when I remove my hand from her pussy.

I move until I am between her legs and force her legs to spread apart with my knees and kick my jeans off. I lower myself down to her and place feather light kisses on her shoulders as I line my throbbing cock with her hot center. I reach up and grab a handful of her hair and pull her head back. "Tell me you want me." I whisper in her ear. She moans "Fuck yes, please." She cries and I thrust into her hard. Her body tenses immediately with her impending release but I can't slow down she feels too fucking good. I moan and thrust deeper and deeper into her as she screams and moans my name. I grip her hips and pull her up slightly onto her knees and push even deeper inside of her and she gasps and arches her back and my name falls from her lips one last time before she is consumed by her orgasm I slam into her one last time and cum hard letting land all over her ass and lower back. We both slump to the floor breathless and completely spent.

Fuck. I'm totally in love.

I scrambled off the couch and threw myself out of the house and into my truck I had to catch Edward before class. I whipped into the parking lot and stopped in the first spot I saw and ran for the front of the building.

He was sitting on the same bench as yesterday with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees when I ran up. His head popped up a little. He looked so nervous.

I couldn't stop myself I jumped into his lap and crushed his lips with mine and forced my tongue into his mouth. He smiled against my lips "So you read it?" he asked.

I nod and pull my lower lip between my teeth.

"and judging from the oral raping I just received, you liked it?" he asked.

"I fucking loved it!" I confirmed.

The End

AN: AAAAWWWWW- please, review

Final chapter is chuckisms because they are HI fucking larious