South Park © T. Parker & M. Stone. I just defile their creation in fandom.

Ella Tweak is mine. Other lovely OC's featured in this chapter include:

Lucy Montgomery: created by Kootie Bomb

Vivi Sykes: created by PiScEs-BlOsSoM69

This chapter was originally part of Chapter 8 "The Sound of Five Dozen Idiots". Sometime around 4 a.m. I realized that the whole thing was about 18 pages long in Word and that the madness had to end, so I cut it in half. The action still takes place the night of Bebe's skating party.

Mebbe my chapters wouldn't be so long if my Author's Notes weren't half a page in and of themselves.

Christophe: *pokes his head in* Zat's right you beetch! *takes a jerky drag of his cigarette* Now get on wit ze story!

*Hush shoves Ze Mole off the page.*

O.o

*

Stark's Pond – Sophomore Year

Ella Tweak tucked her skates in the back of Craig's car. Craig was already seated, belted and ready to go. Her cheeks burned in the cool air, and she took her time arranging her stuff. Whatever had nearly happened with Kenny McCormick was probably best interrupted. She knew she ought to be grateful for Craig's timely, almost spooky, intervention but something was growing in the back of her mind. Something she couldn't identify. All she knew is that she wanted to get back at Craig Tucker.

"Hurry up, crybaby." Craig urged, his monotone distant and annoyed in the front seat.

Ella considered dawdling just to be spiteful but felt a soft tap on her shoulder and turned around.

"Hey El, you going to Bebe's?" Lucy Montgomery asked, brushing her bright blue sidebangs out of her eyes.

"Yeah." Ella nodded, a bit overwhelmed by the riot of Lucy's clothes. Her style was creative and fun and something Ella might have chosen for herself, if she were more outgoing or sporty. They'd been stuck in a history class together in junior high. Ella remembered working on stupid group projects with her and having a good time. If nothing else, their combined creativity assured that their projects always looked the best, even if they completely winged the material. Lost in reverie, Ella was suddenly struck by an idea of such fiendish brilliance she laughed out loud.

Lucy smiled politely as Ella stared off into space for a moment and then stepped back, eyes wide as the blonde burst out laughing.

"Ahherm. Sorry." Ella giggled behind her hand. "Do you need a ride?" she asked sweetly, regaining her composure.

"Yeah, okay!" Lucy nodded towards the Rav4. "Is that…"

Ella nodded. "Craig Tucker's car. He won't mind though."

The truth was, Craig would mind. He would mind a lot. It would be glorious to watch him squirm.

Ella beckoned and then shook her head as Lucy moved to climb in the back seat.

"I'm shorter." She pointed out. "You need the legroom." Ella settled herself in the back and watched as Craig studied his phone, oblivious, until Lucy settled in beside him.

Ella bit her knuckle to keep from laughing right out loud as Craig turned to talk to her and found Lucy in her place. His dark blue eyes widened imperceptibly, but the way he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel told Ella all she needed to know - Craig Tucker was uncomfortable.

"You know Lucy, don't you?" Ella asked politely, when she dared speak aloud. "She's going to Bebe's too." Ella hid a smile with her hand as Lucy gave him a friendly but uncertain wave which he returned with a very grave, very small nod.

As Craig turned his attention to driving, Ella made sure to keep up a lively, boisterous conversation with Lucy, who responded in kind. Ella laughed at Lucy's uncanny impression of Mr. Mackey. He had recently given up elementary school counseling to take an assistant principal position at South Park High, and very little had changed.

"Mmkay now Lucy – you're not in fourth grade anymore. Mmmkay? Running in the halls is dangerous, mmmkay?" Lucy mimed Mr. Mackey pushing up his glasses. "What?! What did you just call me, mmkay?! A bunshole?! Well I appreciate you paying attention in swearing rehab, mmmkay."

Craig, who typically drove about as recklessly as an 83-year-old woman, sped up. He wasn't too sure how this had come about, but he just wanted it over. The giggling was too much, but when they'd turned to idly chatting about how cute Kyle Broflovski looked with a ponytail his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.

Thankfully for everyone involved they were a mere 30 seconds from Bebe's house.

Craig pulled up to the curb and stopped abruptly. His eyes locked with Ella's in the rearview mirror.

"Thanks for the ride Craig." Lucy said cheerfully, exiting the car before he could respond.

Ella climbed out of the car with her stuff and leaned in the passenger side to collect her phone from the charger. Craig gripped her arm.

"What… was that?" he demanded.

"Lucy Montgomery. She's only been around for ages Craig, seriously." Ella tucked her phone in her pocket, careful to keep her tone calm, her expression placid.

"She plays hockey." Craig said after a prolonged silence during which Ella was certain he'd figured out where to hide her body after he choked her to death.

Ella's eyebrows shot up. Such a soliloquy from Craig could only mean one thing – he'd definitely noticed Lucy before. Noticed with a capital 'N'. The implications were staggering.

She forced her face into neutral and reached over and pinched his cheek. "That's right Craigers!"

Craig snarled and lunged for her, but she was too quick. His eyes narrowed to slits.

"I hope they give you a makeover."

Ella cackled and slammed the car door and headed up the driveway to greet Red and Heidi.

Craig watched her go, his jaw clenched. Goddammit. He took off the parking brake. Something was on the passenger seat – a quarter? Craig reached over and picked it up. It was a round pin, something that had undoubtedly escaped from Lucy Montgomery's person. She had loads of pins and buttons on her school bag. He turned the pin over in his hand and read it in the dim glow of the streetlight:

I have animal magnetism: When I go outside, squirrels stick to my clothes.

Craig studied the pin for a moment, tucked it in his pocket and drove off.

*

Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman sat on Stan's couch, a huge bowl of Cheesy Poofs between them. Kyle and Kenny were seated on the floor in front of them, playing "Why Won't You Just Fucking Die XIV" on Stan's new Okama Gamesphere 5000. Kenny, normally an indomitable and relentless gamer, was getting his ass handed to him by Kyle.

Stan's parents would be back tomorrow from visiting his great aunt Constance in Idaho, but tonight they had the house to themselves.

"I'm tellin' you Stan.. we could totally have some bitches over right now." Cartman said, in between handfuls of Cheesy Poofs. "AY! Kenneh! You're a pussy!" Kenny's ninja zombie overlord had succumbed yet again to Kyle's mutant pedophile priest. The screen was awash with blood.

"Eh." Stan shrugged. "It's late and any girls worth having over are all at Bebe's tonight."

"Millie's not at Bebe's" Cartman said pointedly.

"Yeah." Kyle said, turning around and digging in the bowl of Cheesy Poofs. "Stan said any girls 'worth having'. Millie sucks."

"She certainly does." Cartman said, looking smug.

"She even sucks at that." Kenny said, producing a mangled pack of smokes.

"What?!" Cartman snapped.

Kenny shrugged, tucking his hair behind his ears and lighting up. "That was homecoming. She could have improved her technique by now."

"Millie was… my homecoming date. You went with Heidi…" Cartman paused. "AW! Goddammit!"

*

"Truth, dare, double dare, promise or repeat?" Red asked, stretched out on Bebe's bed and reading a magazine.

"Umm." Ella, tapped her teeth with her marker. She was idly doodling on an old pair of Lucy's jeans, and the strange swirling designs were starting to look pretty good. She realized that truth or dare was a slumber-party ritual of old, but Heidi was there and she was spiteful. Ella picked dare last time and was grateful that she was merely forced to drink some vile concoction the girls had whipped up whatever they could find in Bebe's fridge.

"Truth." She decided, and went back to her drawing.

Red looked over at Bebe who was lounging in her red nightgown. Bebe nodded.

"Which guy do you think is the cutest?" Red asked and there was a general hush. Wendy stopped arguing with Heidi. Lucy paused in the midst of painting Vivi's nails.

"Craig Tucker." Ella said without pause and continued drawing.

Bebe made a disgusted noise and Red frowned. Of course she would answer 'Craig Tucker'. They all would. It'd been the wrong question.

"But which guy would you take to bed, if you could?" Heidi asked, looking sly.

Ella sat up straightening her blue flannel pajamas and looked at Heidi with a hint of disdain.

"That's two questions, and it's Wendy's turn." Ella answered simply, ignoring the collective grumbling.

"Truth, dare, double dare, promise or repeat?" Bebe asked Wendy, who was seated at Bebe's vanity and sampling her lip gloss.

Heidi snorted. "What's the point in asking? She always picks 'truth' or 'repeat'."

Bebe had to admit this was true. One could only derive so much pleasure out of forcing Wendy Testaburger to verbally abuse herself, to divulge fun facts about Stan Marsh. "You're right Heidi." Bebe said smiling at Wendy.

Wendy frowned. "You guys, this is a stupid, degrading game. All it does is divide young women and make them focus on boys and other superficial stuff."

Vivi closed her eyes briefly. She'd had about enough of Wendy. Every time Stan brought Vivi an armload of wood for the bonfire, Wendy had given her a venomous look. "It's a slumber party Wendy, for godssakes. It's not a Greenpeace rally." She blew on her freshly painted nails and examined them against her striped pajama bottoms.

Lucy capped the nail polish and put it on Bebe's nightstand. "Seriously Wendy. It's just a game. What do you want us to do? Draft a petition?"

Red looked up from her magazine. "We should just quit. It's not like Wendy ever picks d-"

"Double dare!" Wendy snapped, glaring as all the girls paused to look at her. It was Heidi who finally spoke.

"I double dare you to flash Eric Cartman on Monday at school. At lunchtime. In the cafeteria."

*

South Park High Cafeteria - Monday 11:30 a.m.

Eric Cartman's mouth fell open. A rather large glob of macaroni and cheese slid down his chin and landed on his tray with an audible plop.

Kyle Broflovski's green eyes widened and then he looked away, embarassed.

"Wendy! Jesus Christ!" Stan Marsh pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kenny McCormick leaned forward with an exaggerated squint. "I'd give them a 3.5 out of 10, but only because you're a friend."

*

Whew. Sorry. Anytime I introduce new characters, I end up writing really random, rambling stuff. Anyway. Vivi and Lucy are in. I've got a couple more coming up when we have more fun with Nico and friends. Eventually, I'll write in more OC involvement after I ramble pointlessly trying to get them settled.

Future randomness includes a chappy of mini vignettes with Ella, Vivi & Lucy and a return to the dark side of the fic with two more OC's. ^.^

GAH! O.o