Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials.

Will barely slept after that nightmare. Every time he got close to nodding off, Kirjava nudged him awake, obviously afraid that he would have another nightmare. So Will sat there, half awake and half asleep, wondering all the while about this mysterious Philip Pullman. Who was he? Where did he live? And more importantly, how did he exactly know and write about something that had changed more than one life, in this world and out? And write every detail in absolute accuracy?

At that moment Lena came shuffling into the room. With the lights out and the curtains closed, she looked even more tired than before. Her eyes had returned to their bloodshot nature as they were yesterday when Will had gone to see her and normally unseen lines were suddenly pronounce on her face. She was rubbing her eyes as her feet slowly dragged her into the living room.

"Lena," quietly called Will, standing up and heading towards her.

She jumped and looked at Will, eyes wide.

"Oh," began Lena realizing that it was her boyfriend. "It's you. You frightened me."

"Sorry about that. Couldn't sleep either, eh?" questioned Will trying to grin, but it only turned into a grimace.

He could feel the nervousness and other uneasy feeling coming off his daemon. She was standing close, obviously still unsure about Lena knowing the truth. He gave her a little nudge with his leg, trying to comfort and reassure her.

"Yeah. I don't think Mary's sleeping well, too. She kept tossing and turning in the bed. I just kept thinking about those books. And I know you told me not to pity you, but I just can't help it. Now that I know the truth…" replied Lena, saying that last sentence in a whisper.

Will could almost feel the 'I told you so' coming up and out of his Kirjava's mouth, she knew that this would happen. He tried his best to ignore her, but found it hard. Why didn't he see this coming? It was natural for a caring person such as Lena to take pity on a person like him. He sighed and looked at his girlfriend.

"Lena…Don't. Please. Just remember, time has passed. I'm not a helpless 12 year old anymore," stated Will.

"That's not what I meant. I…Oh never mind, forget I brought it up…," responded Lena, turning towards the kitchen, knocking on a light switch on her way.

Will followed her. Not sure of what to say. Lena wasn't mad, but for some reason he felt like saying something, something that would make everything right. Something that would ease the sudden tension between her and himself, even though that tension was not caused by anything that he'd done to her, but by something that had happened years and years ago and mostly in other worlds.

"Uh…tea? I think what Mary made earlier is still warm…" suggested Will unsure.

"Uh…fine, sure," replied Lena, yawning.

Will walked over to the stove where the kettle sat. Once there Kirjava jumped up on the counter next to him.

"Will…," started his daemon.

"Stop. Will yah?" said Will with a sigh.

His eyes widened when he noticed that he was talking out loud to his daemon, with someone else in the room.

"What?" questioned Lena, spinning towards him.

"Nothing. Just…nothing," responded Will, tense and refusing to look at his girlfriend.

She's probably thinking I'm crazy, thought Will. He gripped the edge of the counter so hard that his knuckles turned white. This was not going well.

"I told you this would happen…," began his daemon.

I know! Just shut it Kirjava. Please… I don't need this right now. You should know that, said Will in his head.

"Will?" suddenly spoke Lena.

"What?" replied Will, his anger and annoyance towards his daemon, seeping into his voice.

"I-Uh…Are you...Are you-were you speaking to your…uh…daemon?" hesitantly asked Lena.

Feeling the sudden and strong agitation from Kirjava, Will let go of the counter and tried to relax his tense muscles. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he slowly nodded. It was weird emitting that to someone. Ever since he came back into this world, it had been only Mary that had known the truth, that he had a daemon outside of his body. And now he was telling his girlfriend that he had just spoken to her. Will never thought he would be doing that.

He heard Lena shuffling her feet, probably unsure as to what to do next. Will felt the same way. His already knotted stomach was twisting into even more elaborate and complicated knots that he doubted even most sailors knew. His hands were starting to shake again as fatigue weighed heavily on his shoulders. He still didn't look at his girlfriend, not wanting to see the expression on her face and in her deep brown eyes, or have her see the expression on his.

Taking another deep breath, Will went back to the kettle, trying desperately to control his once again trembling hands. Pulling out two mugs, he shakily poured the water, before realizing that the water was cold, ice cold. That was it, that was little thing was the last straw. Will couldn't take it anymore. Too many things were going wrong. Things were just too much. He let out a roar of frustration and threw the kettle into the sink. Lena gave a startled cry as his Kirjava begged him to calm down.

"I-I can't! I-I just…can't…" Will stuttered, sinking to the floor.

With his back resting against the stove, he buried his face in his knees and let a few stray tears escape his eyes. Why? Why did this have to happen? thought Will. Why did Philip Pullman have to write those books? Why did my life have to be turned upside down again? Why? Why? Why?

"Will, calm down. It'll all be alright," comforted his daemon while rubbing against his legs and purring nervously.

You say that, Kirjava…, thought Will. "But how do you know?"

"I don't know. I just hope," replied Kirjava.

Well, I don't think I have any hope left. There's just too much that's gone wrong for me to hope anymore.

"Will?" began Lena, crouching down beside him. "You okay?"

"Does it look like him okay, Lena?" said Will face still submerged in his knees.

"No…But…Will…You remember the when my Gran died. You were with me when I broke down in tears. Remember?"

Will nodded, still not wanting to look at her.

"And you said that-that when the universe seems to be against you that…that it isn't. And that you just have to move on, however hard it may be. Because when something seems bad, that means there's good on the other side. And that you just have to keep on moving to the other side to get the good. Remember that, Will? Well, right now you need to move on, keep on pushing threw that muck to get to the other side, to get to the good. Come on, Will. You can do it. I know you can," encouraged Lena, wrapping her arm around him.

The memory of the day Lena's Gran died popped up in Will's mind. He remembered that day well. They had only been dating for a couple months and Lena had called him to come over. Her voice was stressed and he was worried. When he got there she had told him in a shaky voice that her beloved Gran had just died of a heart attack. She then suddenly broke down in tears. Waterfalls were running out of her chocolate brown eyes and Will hated to see her like that. That was when he had taken Lena in his arms and said the advice that Mary had given him a few months after they had come back, right after his mom died. And now he was hearing that advice for the second time, from the very person he gave it to.

Will lifted his head and looked at his girlfriend, her almost always caring brown eyes staring back at him.

"Will…," began Lena, running a hand through his hair. "I know you've been through worse. Losing both your parents and a love, you should be able to handle this. Just remember that those books are just stupid pieces of paper. They may contain the truth, but the world will always think of them as creative fiction. Just…don't be like this. I hate to see you like this."

Her hand had ended up underneath his chin; her thumb softly and gently stroking his cheek. There was a sad smile on her face as her deep brown eyes glowed with love and compassion. A wave of love for her washed through Will again. She wasn't Lyra, but he loved her all the same. He reached up and grasped her hand.

"You're right. I don't know why I'm letting those books get to me," muttered Will, looking down at Lena's hand in his.

"It's alright Will. You're tired both physically and emotionally. And have been through so much. It's understandable," responded Lena. "Just tell me one thing…"

"What?" questioned Will, looking aback up at his girlfriend.

"Tell, me. What…is my daemon?"

Will smiled. It was such a random question, and yet it seemed to make sense. Of course she would wonder what her daemon was. A daemon is an insight to a person's personality, it tells someone what they're really like. She probably was itching to ask that question ever since she found out the truth.

"A little sparrow. Sweet, kind, and neat, with feathers as brown as your eyes," stated Will.

"Oh…" replied Lena, sounding surprised but as that faded the corners of her mouth pulled up into a smile. "I guess that's me…"

"Yep, and I wouldn't change that for the world," lovingly said Will.