Wow, it's been a lot longer than I thought. Time flies when your life descends into panic. I actually finished writing this a while back and it's just taken me this long to remember to post it. I would like to thank those of your who reviewed the last chapter and indicated that more was desired. I hope this chapter isn't too much of a disappointment.
Leela stood over Fry with folded arms.
"You've had that coming all week," Leela said. Fry grumbled indistinctly, rubbing his face as he sat up. Leela's scowl deepened when he didn't meet her eye. Too good to even make contact with her now?
"I didn't think you'd find me," Fry said.
"You didn't make it easy," Leela snapped. "I searched the city rooftop to sewer trying to find you." Fry looked up at her but his expression wasn't what she expected. He looked more surprised than anything.
"Why?"
Now it was Leela's turn to look away. "I gave up after a day." She was angry and meant those words to sting. Fry didn't bite.
"But why did you look at all?" he asked, climbing to his feet. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."
"I don't. Not after what you said."
"After what I said?" Fry protested hotly. "What about what you said? First you want me to be smart then you don't, then you do and don't. No matter who I am or what I do you dump me!"
"What are you talking about?" Leela demanded. "I never said anything like that! And don't try to deny what you said. You said you couldn't go on with me anymore, remember? You said you were too good for me!"
"What!? No I didn't!"
"I heard you say it! 'I can't go back to how things were anymore. Who on Earth would blame me?' All these years and you turn out just like everyone else!"
"That's not what I meant!" Fry insisted.
"Oh sure," Leela said sarcastically. "It's not my eye, you're just late getting somewhere. My hair isn't weird but you know a great stylist who can dye it. Just admit it. You can't stand the idea of being with the mutant anymore."
"Why would you even think that? You're Leela!"
"Was that supposed to mean something, Fry? You are still wearing the hat, right?"
"It means you're amazing," Fry said as earnestly as he could manage. "It means you're smart and beautiful and strong and dangerous and love animals and always know how to fix things." He reached out to grab her shoulders and held on all the tighter when she tried to pull away. "It means you're the best captain ever and... it means I love you."
Leela's throat had gone dry. She'd heard him say that so many times before but rarely with such conviction. He was looking her straight in the eye like he always had in the past. He wasn't recoiling or retching or looking for escape routes or anything.
"Then what-?"
"I was talking about everything else. Being a moron who always screws things up." Fry released her shoulders and crossed the window looking out toward Earth. "I thought you were tired of me. It seems like I'm always finding some way to make you mad or get you killed or something. I thought that if I kept the hat... maybe you'd be happier. Maybe you'd like me more and not die."
"I was so sure..." Leela said absently. "I mean, you were at least as smart as most of the other guys I've dated so I thought you saw me the way they did."
"Hell no! I love you. I-mph! Mmmm..." Whatever Fry had been about to say was lost to the kiss Leela had locked his lips with. It felt like a breath of fresh air after being buried alive. Leela had come to find him and now she was kissing him. Did this mean she wanted him again? He had no idea how long they stood that way before she finally pulled back.
"Oh, Fry, I can't believe how wrong my interpretation of your poorly chosen words was when I viewed them in light of my lifetime of experience." Fry felt like he should say something dramatic in response. Something deep and meaningful ought to do the job. Something that expressed how horrible he felt about what had happened and how much he still loved her.
Perhaps it was a sign that the hat was starting to fail him when all he could think of was: "Can we kiss again?"
To his surprise Leela didn't seem to mind. If anything the next kiss was even better than the first. He was on the moon and kissing the greatest woman in the universe. Now he was flat on his back and being straddled by said greatest woman while she was still kissing him. On the moon. He couldn't imagine how his day could get any better.
–
"Oh man," Fry sighed. Leela made a vague sound of agreement. The interior of the space tent was littered with various articles of clothing, not all of which belonged to Fry. Fry had actually happened to be fully dressed when Leela had arrived and Leela had just thrown on a space suit over her usual outfit before leaving the ship. The only thing she couldn't spot from her current position was her top. Thankfully it couldn't have gone to far in the environmentally sealed bubble.
The best part about breaking up with Fry was the making up that came when they got back together. She'd honestly expected to be disappointed with Fry the first time she'd taken him home. He was a clumsy idiot, after all. And in truth he had started out being rather mediocre in an objective sense (which still beat out Zapp and Alcazar so that had been something). But even though his hands lacked fine motor control Fry brought something to the table no other man ever had. He was, for lack of a better word, grateful.
Fry didn't just get it over with, roll over and fall asleep. He treated her like he'd been granted some kind of rare privilege. Every time they were together like this he seemed determined to make sure she wouldn't regret her choice in the morning. It was as though he believed she could easily do better than him and would do anything to make sure she was satisfied with slumming it.
"Is it possible to make something a goal in life if you didn't know you wanted it until it happened?" Fry asked. "Because you and me on the moon really should have been on the list."
"It was good," Leela agreed.
"Wanna go again?" Fry asked hopefully. Leela was half way to saying yes before her brain finished reengaging. What was she thinking? There wasn't time for this, Fry's life was still at stake. She pulled herself free of Fry's arms and sat up.
"We can't. We need to get you back to the Professor, remember?"
"Oh. Yeah. The hat." Fry reached up absently to touch the tiny device. "...Right."
Leela paused refastening her bra and shot Fry a look. "The hat is coming off."
"But what if it's too late? What if I already screwed up my brain?"
"Come on, Fry. What are the odds that it's something the Professor can't fix?" When Fry did not appear to be comforted by this she switched tacks. "Look, we won't find out sitting around here. We'll go have your brain looked at then we can decide what to do, okay?"
Fry nodded and started gathering up some clothes.
–
"What do you think you're doing!? I demand you return my ship at once!" the Professor shouted.
"I just did," Leela said exasperatedly.
"That's not my ship." Leela reached out and adjusted the focus on the Professors glasses. "Ah, there you are Bessie, old girl. I've got some new lasers to install-"
"Professor, I need you to examine Fry's brain. Quickly."
"Eh-whuaa...? Fry? Are you still wearing that hat you imbecile!? I told you not to keep it on too long!"
Fry opened his mouth but Leela talked over him. "Can't you take it off him?"
"Hmm... I suppose it might still be possible. Though I am already in my pajamas... Ooohf!" Leela shoved the frail scientist towards the stairs.
In a few short minutes the three of them, along with a visibly disgruntled-at-being-called-in-so-early Amy, were gathered around the lab table once more as the Professor inspected Fry's brain.
"Where the spleck did you find him, Leela?" Amy asked.
"The moon."
"Seriously? I thought you already looked there."
"Well I didn't," Leela said shortly.
"Wait, you thought I'd be on the moon?" Fry asked.
"Spluh, where else do you even know about?"
"Bad news, everyone," the Professor announced grimly before anyone could say more. "As I expected Fry's brain has started becoming dependent on the cognitive radiation generated by the hat."
"Is it too late?" Leela asked. "Can he recover if you take it off?"
"There's no way to know. He might be able to get over it or he could be permanently brain damaged. Even if some sort of recovery is possible there's no telling how long it would take or how complete it would be." He turned to Fry. "If we take the hat off now you may never be yourself again."
Fry swallowed nervously. Leela clenched her fists. "Is there an alternative?" she asked.
"Of course there's an alternative," the Professor said as though it were obvious. "We shoot him now and start harvesting his-"
"Just take the hat off," Leela interrupted.
"Very well. Amy, get the involuntary adherence module neutralizer."
Amy stifled a yawn, pulled open a drawer and after a few seconds of rummaging handed a silvery, pen-shaped device over to the Professor. The Professor twisted various segments of the device until a tiny point of red light blinked on at the tip.
"Now lay back and hold still," the Professor commanded. Fry stretched out hesitantly on the table. As the Professor started lining up the device precisely at the right angle to the hat Fry spoke up.
"Leela? In case this doesn't work... I'm sorry about all this. And I lo-"
The rest of Fry's sentence was drowned out by a sound equal parts demonic foghorn and lightning strike when the neutralizer unleashed a pillar of red light as broad as a redwood that cast the lab in a hellish glow. The beam blasted out through the window and into the dawn sky, shattering the glass and melting a hole in the metal framework.
"There we go," the Professor said casually once the light faded. He wedged the neutralizer under the brim of the hat and, with noticeable effort, popped it off Fry's head.
The effect was immediate and violent. Fry jerked like someone had just jammed a live power line down his throat. It was only Leela's quick intervention that stopped him falling off the table. A series of smaller spasms wracked his limbs, resulting in several wild kicks to Leela's side as she wrestled him back onto the table. Gradually he stilled enough for Leela to release her death grip.
"Fry? Can you hear me?" Fry said nothing. His mouth was ajar, his eyes open but unfocused and his body going limp one muscle group at a time. "Fry? Fry!?" A faint gurgle from the back of his throat was Fry's only answer.
"Maybe we should get him to a doctor," Amy said.
"Did someone call for a doctor?" Zoidberg asked, sticking his head in through the door.
"I'll call an ambulance," Amy amended.
"Aww..."
