These Are My Confessions
The flock sat in an orderly row on the couch in the living room, watching a baffled Jeb walk back and forth in front of them. He wasn't saying anything, but kept opening his mouth like he wanted to, then he'd change his mind and continue pacing. Finally, he got out, "I don't get it."
"What's not to get Jeb?" Iggy said with an innocent voice.
"You," Jeb said, pointing pointlessly at Iggy. "And you, and you, and you, and you," he added, pointing to Max, Fang, Nudge, and Gazzy as well. "Has there been like some kind of domino effect in your guy's behavior or something?"
"I'm still good," Angel piped up.
Jeb waved her off and muttered, "But for how long?" then went back to his pacing.
Nudge slowly raised her hand as though they were at school. "Jeb? Are you having a nervous breakdown? I heard it's common for men your age. I mean, I don't think you've been employed for the past three months—yeah, we know. I found it really incredible that you were able to answer the phone every time the principal called."
Jeb raised his eyebrows to her. "Oh really now? What else do you know about me?"
"Nudge got that Maxim magazine from you," Fang said. "We also happen to know your social security number, the pin number to your bank account, and that your favorite color is pink." Fang looked up and gave him a sweet smile. "That's just for starters, there's plenty more where that came from."
Jeb blinked. "Okay, so I see how it is. You seem to know so much about me, and I so little about you. Fine, let's have a little confess-all session right here. Fang, is there anything you'd like to confess to?"
Fang put a finger to his mouth in thought. Then he turned to Iggy and said, "Iggy, there have been times when I've used your toothbrush to clean the toilet. I'm sorry."
Iggy's mouth fell open. The apology went right over his head. "Oh, that's okay Fang," he said tersely. "I too have kissed Max. And she said I'm the better one at it."
Fang's face clouded in anger and he balled up his fists. Max reached over to Iggy and punched him as hard as she could in the arm. He didn't even flinch, but gave a smirk at the thought of the face that he knew Fang was making.
"Fine, I guess I'll go next," Max said, flustered. "I stole fifty dollars from you to get a tattoo."
Jeb raised his eyebrows again. "Where? And of what?"
Max sighed and pulled down the collar of her shirt to show a picture of a young Leonardo DiCaprio just above her left breast. "Don't ask what came over me," she pleaded. Fang continued to stare at her chest until she realized he was doing it. She quickly adjusted her shirt, then slugged him in the arm too.
Nudge stood up like she was going to make a huge announcement. "Angel, it was my red socks that ruined your favorite dress in the wash. Rather than telling you, once I found out what had did it, I removed my socks and played it off like I didn't know anything."
"Yeah, I know you did!" Angel said heatedly. "That's why I'm the one that tore the only picture you had of your mom, not Total!" She said, nearly in tears from anger. Nudge gasped and started toward her like she was going to do something, but Jeb grabbed her and spun her around behind him, sitting her in an armchair across from the others. She glared at Angel and Angel glared back.
Gazzy went next. "I told someone outside of the flock about our powers."
This got everyone's attention. "Who?" Max said worriedly.
"God," Gazzy said truthfully, shrugging. "Not that it matters, I don't think the guy even listens to people." Jeb decided he'd save the religious lesson for another day, happy that He was all Gazzy had told their secret to. Total had started crying for some reason and now he gave a loud sniffle.
"That's—that's so beautiful. All these confessions. I have one too."
Fang thought he knew what he was going to say and tried to stop him. "Total, it's okay! Some things are better left in the closet." "Oh, so you know?" Total said, blinking tears away. "Of course I know! It's alright, it's over." Total then gave him a confused expression. "No, Fang, I think you and I are on two different pages. I'm a gay dog."
That knocked everyone over. "You're what?! Iggy shouted.
"Yep, I'm gay," Total said proudly. "I finally realized it last night when I was-"
"Taking a walk!" Fang cut in quickly, giving a hard stare to Total to go with it.
"No, when I was looking at that husky you have in your room," Total said to him. "Man, it feels good to come clean with it! No more lies! No more denial! Just pure truth! Like the time I slept with Celeste!"
"TOTAL, NO!" Fang now shouted.
Angel stared at him. "It's okay, Fang. Total sleeps in my bed and I sleep with Celeste, so it's kind of like he sleeps with her too."
"Oh...yeah, right..." Fang gave a weak chuckle, then slumped back in his seat.
Jeb looked around at them. "Well, though you guys have pretty much exposed all my dirt, I have something else to add to the mix. I'm trying to go the extra mile and have you guys adopted by me."
Different variations of "No!" went up, and even Total shook his head.
"Sorry Jeb, but the crowd's decided," Max said. "We'll tolerate your rules while we live under this roof...and the one that Gazzy blew off...but we're not going to be your children forever. We do have parents, you know. We just got to find them."
If only you knew that I was your father, Jeb thought, but would never say. Or at least not now.
Instead he said, "Well, now that we've gotten that out our systems, I think we also need to get rid of the anger we all now harbor toward each other. I want all of you to do whatever it takes to lose your anger short of hitting each other and calling each other names."
Immediately, Nudge reached over and grabbed Celeste, holding her head and body in such a way like she was going to rip the bear's head off. Angel ran up the stairs and in a second, was back holding Nudge's documents from the School. "Do it, and I'll erase everything that says you exist. Go ahead, I dare you! I bet you don't have what it takes!" Angel was sounding slightly deranged.
It was this that brought them to their senses. What evil had they spread to the girl through their own violent actions toward one another?
"Hey look, I'm sorry Iggy," Fang said, putting a hand on Iggy's shoulder. "I mean, you got me back...kind of...are we still friends?"
Iggy thought about it. "That was a pretty sweet kiss," he mused. "Yeah, all's forgiven." He shook Fang's hand and everyone awwed.
Max looked at Jeb and said, "My bad about stealing your money. I know it's wrong, not to mention I do have my own bank account...not that I know how or where the money's coming from though..."
Jeb remained silent about this as well and said, "It's alright. We'll go sometime to have that tattoo removed. Yeah, he may seem cute to you now, but it'll look ridiculous when you're old and you have the tattoo of some guy who's going to be dead by that time and nobody will probably even remember him." Max nodded in agreement.
Total was crying again. "Oh...my...God! That was like, soooo sweet! I think I need a facial towelette!" Everyone rolled their eyes at the new drama queen.
Angel and Nudge continued to stare each other down. "Put the bear down," Angel said dangerously.
"After you put the papers down," Nudge said with the same edge to her voice.
The silence over the room was deafening. Then suddenly, both girls dropped their possessions. "I loved that dress!" Angel wailed.
"It was the only picture I had of my mom!" Nudge cried. They ran toward each other and hugged, sobbing a rainstorm on one another.
"We can still tape the picture," Angel sniffled.
"And the dress is replaceable," Nudge choked.
"And maybe Enrique will call me tonight!" Total cried.
No one said anything to this, but everyone awwed again at the girls, then the flock met in the middle of the room in one huge hug, though Fang and Iggy more or less patted everyone on their backs, not being the lovey-dovey types. Then they pulled away and did something that'd been missing from their lives for a while: They stacked their fists on top of the others, then tapped them twice on the back of the hand.
"Well, that's that then. Now to bed, all of you! Oh, and Gazzy, you're grounded too." Gazzy shrugged. Who ever really listened to what Jeb had to say anyways?
As they went up the stairs, polite comments could be heard back and forth between them. "No, after you friend!" Fang said to Iggy when usually they would've fought over who got to brush their teeth first.
"Thanks, pal!" Iggy said back enthusiastically. Jeb almost threw up, but this sure did beat them fighting.
Nudge opened the door to hers and Angel's room, allowing the younger girl to go through first. "No, really, I insist!" Nudge said, smiling brightly and gesturing toward the room when Angel tried to refuse her kind offer.
"Please, I couldn't!" the little girl said. They continued to ping-pong courtesies between them until Max shoved both of them inside and closed the door.
As she was going into her own room, Gazzy turned to her and said, "Night Max! You're the best human-bird hybrid older sister a human-bird hybrid could ever ask for!"
Fang and Iggy nodded their agreement from the bathroom, toothpaste covering their mouths. For once, they were sharing the space. And evidently, the paste!
"Um, thanks...night..." She told them.
"Night Max!" Everyone called out from their rooms. On the other side of the door, she blinked and pinched herself. Now it was her turn to wonder if this was real. It all just seemed too good to be true.
