CHAPTER 9

"Addie, Alex loves you I'm sure he will be happy after the initial shock has set in"

Addison called Alex and told him she would be flying up to Seattle tomorrow. He was a little surprised but grateful, even though Chief Webber had started to interview replacements it was still going to be a while before he would be able to transfer to LA.

Addison told him to meet her at the Hotel as soon as he finished work for the day. He knocked on the door and Addison was a pile of nerves, she really had no idea how Alex would take the news.

"Oh Addie, it is so good to see you" he said as he pulled her into a hug.

"You too" she replied, pulling away slightly.

"What is it? Are you OK?" He asked. This wasn't how she normally greeted him.

"Alex, please sit down, I've got something to tell you"

"Addie, you're freaking me out a little here, what is it?"

"God, I don't know how to tell you. So I'm just going to say it. Alex I'm pregnant"

Alex just looked at her he couldn't speak after what seemed like an eternity he said "But how is that possible? You showed me the results of your fertility tests"

"I know the only thing I can think of is the acupuncture I've had. It must have got my body regulated again; I must have started producing eggs. "

"Oh I see, shit Addie this wasn't what I was expecting"

"I know, me either, but I won't deny I'm happy, I mean I'm thrilled, But I understand that this isn't what you want"

"Your right it isn't" He said glumly.

"Ok well I'm having this baby Alex, and I understand that you don't want a baby yet, you aren't ready. Look I'm not asking you for anything, you don't have to be a part of this baby's life. I am capable of raising this baby alone. We don't need anything from you financially or emotionally" she said rather sadly. She had hoped for a much different response from him.

"What? So that's it, you just run back to LA, have OUR child and I'm just forgotten. What was I to you Addison a sperm donor?" He said harshly

"How dare you say that to me. I shared more of myself with you then my ex-husband of 10 years. I shared more of my sexual fantasies with you then I ever did with Mark. Because you are the ONE god damnit. Besides if I wanted a sperm donor as you so eloquently put it I would have chosen one from the files at the clinic. A Pulitzer Prize winner or a concert pianist, or a rocket scientist, not an arrogant, hot headed, 2nd year surgical resident. But god help me Alex I love you, you make me crazy, I want you more than I've ever wanted any man, You make me feel whole" Addison said just as heatedly as tears threatened to roll down her cheek.

"Fuck Addison, can you just give me a minute to process all of this. I need some air" Alex got up and left.

"Fine, take all the time you need. I'll be leaving at 6.00pm tonight. The balls in your court" Addison watched Alex leave and lay on the bed in the foetal position and cried.

Alex wondered around the streets Alex I'm pregnant, Alex I'm pregnant" Those words just kept running through his mind. He was beyond scared. He loved his work, he loved bringing babies into the world, and he loved helping them, saving them. That was where his part of the job ended. Now the Love of his life was having a baby everything was different. He didn't think he was capable of being a father. He did the only thing he could think of.

"Hello" A woman spoke in a heavy Eastern European accent

"Mamma" Alex said

"Oh my god Alexi, baby how are you?"

"Sorry I haven't called for a while, I've been busy"

"What is it my darling?"

"Remember how I told you about Addison and how I thought she was the one"

"Of course, is everything OK"

"No I think I've screwed up"

"How?"

"Addie, well she came to visit, to tell me some news"

"Have you broken up?

"No, well I don't know maybe, Mamma she is pregnant"

"Oh"

"Yeah I know. She wants this baby, she told me how much she loves me that I'm the one for her, but god I'm so scared I'll be a lousy dad. I don't want to turn out like my dad"

"Now Alexi you listen to me. Your father was a drunk and a violent one at that. He didn't have time for you or your brother, you are not like that."

"But Ma I have that same temper, you know I do. I just don't want to hurt Addison or our child"

"So don't. Have you told Addison about your concerns?"

"No, I try to keep my temper under control around her"

"Alexi, baby you have to tell her. Do not throw this chance away, a baby is a blessing, I know you will be able to handle it. You may have inherited your fathers temper, but I know that you would never hit Addison or your child, unlike that son-of-a-bitch father of yours. Besides from what you have told me Addison is a much stronger woman than me, she won't stand for any of your nonsense. Please darling go to Addison and tell her all of your concerns"

"Your right Ma, I know I'm just scared, it's such a huge responsibility"

"Well if two Obstetricians can't look after a baby than I don't know who can" Mrs Karev tried to lighten Alex's mood.

"Thanks Ma, I better go and try and explain, try to make her forgive me. I Love you"

"I Love you too now make sure to give my best to Addison and I hope to meet her soon"

"Bye and thanks"

"Bye"

Alex hung up his cell phone and drove back to the Hotel. He knocked on Addison's door, there was no response, he knocked again louder.

"Addison, it's me, please let me in"

Addison got up from her bed, tied her bath robe around herself tighter and opened the door. All Alex could see was the tears streaks along Addison's face, her eyes were red and puffy.

"Can we talk?" He asked

"Sure, come in, but before you start, I don't want to fight. Whatever it is you have to say, just say it, please don't raise your voice I just can't handle your yelling right now"

"Addison, I'm so sorry. You have been so trusting and open with me; you have told me everything about your life. I on the other hand have been a little guarded. My childhood was crap. It really was. My father was a drunk, he had a terrible temper. He used to hit my mother, than when my brother and I were 5 or 6 he started hitting us too. My mother tried to stop him but then he would just turn on her as well. I know I have inherited his temper, I'm just scared of becoming him"

"Well my temper isn't exactly cool all the time either. But Alex honey I know you there is no way you would ever hit or hurt me or this baby" She said as she placed her hands on her stomach.

"Honestly I'm just so frightened that I will be a shit father. I don't want to be I really don't. I love you and I think sometimes that I'll wake up one day and you will tell me it's over. That one day you will wake up and realise that I'm not good enough for you"

"Alex, when have I ever given you reason to think that?"

"You haven't, It's all me. Under my over confident exterior lye's a very insecure man, that never thought in a million years I would be worthy of a woman as amazing as you. So now you tell me we are having a child, and I guess I just think that not only will I lose you one day I'm going to lose my son or daughter as well"

"Oh baby, that is not going to happen" Addison said as she went to him and held him close.

Tears started to fall from Alex's eyes. This was the first time he had ever admitted to anyone that he felt so insecure at times. The old saying if you are told something often enough you start to believe it was true in Alex's case. His father had repeatedly told him and his brother that they were both losers and would amount to nothing.

"Addison I'm sorry, I do want this baby, if you still want me to be a part of your lives"

"Of course WE do. I love you and that is not going to change. God Alex I might be able to deliver babies, but I am going to need your help with our baby. I was really just being proud when I said I could do it alone. I'm scared too you know. Together though I think we can do this".

"Good, I love you and I really don't want to be apart anymore. Fuck my pride I'm going to see Chief Webber and tell him the transfer has to happen and happen yesterday. I haven't even asked how far along are you?"

"Six weeks, I really hope that this baby was NOT conceived in the alley way near Joes, which would be just so wrong" Addison said pulling a face.

Alex laughed. "I hope your right, let's just say our baby was conceived right here in this comfy bed. That sounds much more civilized doesn't it?"

"Yes"

"Come on, let's go, I want to go to the hospital and run a pregnancy test and then do a scan I want to see all of this for myself. We should get you started on some folic acid tablets as well"

Addison started laughing. "Alex we can do all of that if it will make you happy. I have already started taking folic acid. But one favour please. You are not my Obstetrician, you are my partner. You do not get to order tests, do my pre natal care exams, or boss me around."

"Addison"

"No I'm serious, both of us have to step away from our jobs, let another doctor look after us"

"God help this child, he or she has no chance of not having a strong will or temper"

"No I guess they don't"

A/N: What do you think? Please review I love the feedback. This story probably only has about 2 chapters to go. I hope you have enjoyed it.