Disclaimer: the fates are cruel and the Supernatural characters are not my own personal property. The plot, Kallie and the grieving widow are all mine though and you can't take them from me!

This chapter is beta'd by the lovely yazsha1510 and dedicated to Jedi-Princess Knight who led me to blush like mad and get a move on with my writing. Thank you my dear! Now where are my jelly donuts? Yep you rock.

Now read my pretties!

Chapter 9-

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again,

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And the worst part is there's no one else to blame.

The Next Day

"Divide and conquer?" Kallie inquired of the boys as they ate at the diner across the street from their motel.

"Sure," Sam agreed before taking in a deep sip of coffee.

"What were you thinking of doing?" Dean asked, his mouth full of his breakfast burrito.

Kallie turned to face him, as they were sharing the same side of the booth to give Sam who was larger than both of them more room, and said, "Dean. How many times do I have to tell you? Chew with your mouth closed and talk when you are finished eating."

"Yes, Mom." Dean replied snarkily.

Kallie glared at him for a good solid minute until he put down his breakfast and looked away. Clearing her throat, Kallie turned her attention to Sam but answered Dean's question, "I was thinking that since our mysterious corpse walker, Mr. Liddell, had a brother he was close to who ran a bar, that Dean should ask him questions, then go and talk to his boss at the bank. Meanwhile Sam and I should talk to Liddell's widow, because let's face it Dean, you are not a gentle person and afterwards we'll talk to the police and see if the officers who apprehended the body noticed anything we didn't at the morgue this morning."

"Great, we'll do that." Dean said half a second after swallowing which wasn't much better.

Kallie shot a quick look of incredulity at Dean before facing Sam, pointing to his plate, "You done?"

Sam wiped his greasy hands on his napkin and stood up, "Yeah, let's go."

Kallie slid out and placed her used napkin on her plate.

"What, you're leaving?" Dean asked his mouth once again full.

"As charming as your table manners are, we have a widow to comfort." Kallie answered placing her money on the table.

"Bye Dean," Sam said to his brother, as he extracted his money as well, "and remember to not get too drunk at the bar. You've still got the bank manager to talk to afterwards."

"Yeah yeah." Dean responded waving them away, "now remember not to have too much fun. You may strain yourself."

Kallie stuck her tongue out at him as the two walked back to the motel to change into their church garb: Sam a priest's frock, Kallie an elegant and official looking black dress for her role as grief counselor. Once properly attired the two left in Kallie's Blue Mini Clubman going over their story and what they wanted to ask.

The Liddell's home was in a clean well-kept subdivision just outside of the capital. The widow's address featured a beautiful and perfectly groomed garden with a simple black ribbon tied around the post of the mailbox.

"Man, this is just so sad." Kallie remarked as she got out of the car.

"Losing someone is never easy," Sam commented, as he adjusted his coat.

"I know," Kallie replied as she led the way down the sidewalk, "but it doesn't help when someone makes your dead husband's body take a stroll. Poor woman."

The two had reached the door by this point and by unspoken consent, Sam stepped forward and rung the doorbell. Mrs. Liddell answered the door within a minute, a woman only in her 30's, with no make-up and her short blond hair undone, but wearing the black of a widow (reword), she had a curious expression of one not expecting visitors. Sam assumed his most gentle and comforting voice, "Hello, I'm Reverend Matthews and this is Ms. James, our grief counselor from 1st Methodist Church here in Charlotte, on behalf of our entire congregation, I extend our deepest condolences."

"But Steven and I are Presbyterian." Mrs. Liddell remarked somewhat mystified.

"We at 1st Methodist seek to help those in grief no matter what church they attend." Kallie explained sweetly, "May we come in?"

Mrs. Liddell nodded, respectful and appreciative, "Well then, yes, please come in."

The two hunters crossed the threshold as the widow led them into the living room.

"Would you like any coffee or tea or anything?" Mrs. Liddell asked in fulfillment of her hostess duties motioning for them to sit down.

The two acquiesced but not wanting to take advantage of her even more than they already were, declined her offer for drinks, insisting that they were there for her needs.

"I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Liddell. The entire church sympathizes with this tough time you are going through." Kallie explained in her most heart-felt tone.

"Thank you, so much," the widow said appreciative, "But please, call me Helen."

Sam nodded in acknowledgement leaning in as he said, "I don't wish to be insensitive, Helen, but is there anything about your husband that might indicate as to why this latest unfathomable event occurred."

"You mean the rumors of his body walking on the interstate?" Helen asked, paling while she thought of it.

Sam nodded, so she continued, sounding more and more like she was defending him to herself, "I don't know if that was Steven's body or someone playing a cruel joke, but Steven had nothing to do with it. He was a good man; the two of us taught Sunday school at our Presbyterian church every Sunday. He had no enemies. He volunteered as a Boy Scout counselor. I don't know why this happened."

As Helen deteriorated into tears, Kallie leaned forward to comfort her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "The Lord works in mysterious ways. He alone knows why this is happening. Losing a loved one is never easy, I know what it is like, but the Lord will guide you through it. Your church will get you through. I myself was lost after someone close to me passed away but the church and Reverend Matthews here got me through. The lord will provide. If you ever need to talk to someone about what has happened I am sure your church and family will be there for you."

Sam, sitting behind Kallie, looked at her quizzically as if trying to piece things together but a moment later his face was clear again. The two stayed for a few more minutes but upon seeing that there was nothing more they could learn from the grieving widow fixed Helen some tea to calm her down and left soon after.

"Well the wife is normally the last one to know of anything supernatural going on." Kallie observed as she got into the driver's seat of the mini clubman, "Shall we head back to the motel to change and then hit the police station?"

Sam ignored her question, appearing in deep contemplation.

"Hello, Sammy?" Kallie asked waving a hand in his general direction.

"What you said to Helen is true." Sam said, determined.

"You mean 'I don't need anything to drink'? because that was a lie, I'm actually quite thirsty." Kallie replied trying to lighten the mood.

"No, that she should try to talk to someone about what she's going through." Sam clarified.

Kallie sighed and turned off the engine, leaning back.

"I think you need to talk about what happened, whatever it is, is eating you up inside. Don't think I can't tell?" Sam insisted, clearly worried.

"I just can't. It hurts too much to think about." Kallie told him as she fought to control her emotions.

"You won't be able to get through this unless you talk it out." Sam insisted, "I felt the exact same way when Jess died. But I bottled it up. I didn't talk to Dean about what I was dealing with until it nearly killed me. I don't want to see the same thing to happen to you."

The Warrior of God took a deep breath as if the air around her was comprised of strength and courage instead of oxygen and nitrogen. She couldn't tell him all the gory details, she at least knew that if she did she'd end up in a ball on the floor for days, but maybe Sam was right. Kallie hadn't talked about it. Not to Clara, not to Sophie, not even to a journal.

"Okay," she conceded, letting the air back out, "Maybe I do have to let myself talk about it, think about it. But we take this slow."

Sam nodded in agreement, "Of course. We can go as slow as you like. Just start simple. It might help just to acknowledge what happened. You don't have to go into any detail; just give a brief description, okay?"

"Okay, I can do this," Kallie agreed as she concentrated on her breathing and began, closing her eyes, "I lost someone. Someone I loved. He was taken from me by demons."

Sam held out a hand over the driving column as he eased her along, "Who was he?"

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, comforted so much by that simple contact.

"My guardian. My teacher. My friend. My champion. The love of my-" she paused in the list of all that Castiel had been to her, opening her eyes as her voice broke and her breath caught. She drew in another calming breath and finished, "The love of my life."

Sam gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "How did you two meet?"

"I was in western Pennsylvania at the time." She began, aware that recalling the beginning was not nearly as painful remembering the middle or the end, "I went back to my motel after taking care of a hoard of angry spirits that were killing residents of an apartment complex and he was there. I opened the door and he was just standing there by the kitchen table and said 'Hello Kallie.' As if we knew each other. I, understandably, freaked out, demanding an explanation. When he first told me what he was I thought he was insane, or worse, a demon trying to trick me but when he told me what I was and what I was meant to do, I suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling of calm and I knew that it was alright; that he was telling the truth. My life has been radically and wonderfully different ever since that night."

She had a small smile on her face at the comfort of the memory but as she sat there, pulling farther and farther from that night, the smile faded and she gasped for air, clutching Sam's hand tightly as she sobbed, "God, I miss him! I miss him so much!"

The hunter beside her pulled her across the small space until she was crying into his shoulder. He wrapped his big arms around her and rubbed her back, soothing her, "I know. I know."

The tears poured out of her eyes as she fought to breathe and pulled back from him slightly to look at his face, "I just don't get it! I don't understand why he's gone! I don't understand how they could've taken him when he's-when he's…"

She stopped, reluctant to tell Sam, who may or may not already know, what Castiel was. Fortunately spared from explaining what he was when the sound of hard rock emanated from Sam's pocket. Sam swore as he dug his phone out of his back pocket, keeping one arm wrapped around Kallie as she hiccupped into his chest.

"What?" Sam asked curtly, thinking his brother had horrible timing as Dean snapped back in a smart-alec fashion, "I'm sorry Dean, you just picked a bad time. What is it?"

Kallie reached forward and grabbed a tissue from its case attached to the roof of the car, wiping her nose and eyes while she had the chance.

"Wait, what happened?" Sam asked, abruptly tense and incredulous, "They did that? Yeah you're right, that's definitely up our alley though not sure if the two are related or not."

Kallie blew her nose as Sam's quizzical brow got more pronounced, "Yeah, okay. We'll meet you back at the motel. And, Dean, please eat some peanuts or something, you sound drunk and it seems we'll need all hands on deck for this one."

He then made a face at Dean's obviously loaded response and hung up. "I'm sorry about that, Dean thinks he's got a lead in the case."

"It's fine." Kallie responded sitting up straight again, clearly in more control of her emotions, "What's up?"

"Something weird happened. Dean's going to fill us in when we get back." Sam explained putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Ah." Kallie responded for lack of anything else to say.

"Now, get out," Sam instructed, "I'm driving."

"What?" Kallie inquired, shocked. "Why?"

"Because," Sam told her, "40% of accidents are caused by emotional instability."

"Yeah," Kallie shot back, sarcastically as she opened her car door anyway, "and 65% of all statistics are made up on the spot."

Sam laughed in an amused way as he climbed out of the car, "Fair enough, I'm still driving."

"Whatever." Kallie replied as they passed each other in front of the car.

When they both got into the Clubman, as Sam is a bit bigger than Kallie they both made their traditional seat adjustments until they were comfortable.

"You never did tell me what Dean's lead was," Kallie pointed out, her interest piqued and seeking to avoid thinking about what they were talking about before, "And you know how I hate suspense."

"Yeah I do." Sam grinned, as he turned the ignition. "You ready? It's really shocking, and a bit of a doozy."

Kallie nodded wordlessly just wanting to know already.

"Just as Dean walked into the bar, the furniture burst into flames." Sam said as he put the car into drive.

"Really?" Kallie asked, clearly far less than truly shocked.

Sam saw the look on her face and grinned slightly before elaborating, "And the patrons burst into song. Italian Opera."

She raised her eyebrows, widening her eyes as she did a double take, now appropriately mystified, "Really?"
Sam's smile spread as he spared a quick glance for her and put on the Clubman's gas and pulled away from the curb, "Really."

"Well that is certainly something." Kallie stated, definitely distracted now.

"Tell me about it." Sam said as the two of them made their way to the motel in better spirits.

Be my friend

Hold me

Wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

And needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

Breathe Me- Sia

Yep this chapter is a little different, little self-conscious but I needed these moments. Next chapter will be better promise.

I meant to have this chapter up about a week ago but life intervened. Stupid responsibilities and headaches!

I've got the next few all planned out, I just have to find the time and inspiration. Hopefully I'll be back again soon.

Now make me a happy writer and review!

EDIT: just went back and reread the story again and dang chapter two is tense and sad. cuz i noticed it's the only one without reviews and i was like "why is that?" reread the chapter and thought "oh, that's why."