With Hands held high
Into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up
To swallow you
*~*~*~*
Chapter Nine
Mouth hanging wide open like a fish, Light stared after his father's retreating form down the hall. He couldn't believe what his father said. He wasn't going to let him back to headquarters or even in the house until he talked to Ryuzaki about "how he felt about him". Light blanched at the idea. How was he going to talk to someone he tried to have killed—when said person knew this information—about how he felt about him?
'How do I feel about him?' Light wondered to himself. He ran through a quick list in his head to try to help himself come to a conclusion. 'He's brilliant, he's strong, an amazing leader, doesn't let anyone get the better of him, has a nice body, and is really hot….' Light stopped as the last couple of thought ran through his mind. What the hell was he thinking? L was his enemy, trying to sentence him to death. He couldn't have feeling for L like that. But he couldn't help it.
Snapping back to his surroundings, Light knew that he had to at least stay in the hospital. He didn't have anywhere else to go anyway. So he was stuck here with L.
The way Light saw it, he had three options.
One, he could just do it. He could spill his guts, cut out his heart and give it to the black-haired man and confess how he felt about him. That he liked him more than a friend, and had for a long time. That he may even love him. Light quickly decided against this path. It would make him look weak and desperate. Besides, L would only accuse him of being Kira again, saying that he was trying to get to L's emotions and play with them to get another chance to kill him.
Two, he could go even to a friend's house then just tell his father that he did speak to L. The only problem was that he didn't have any friends. He was sure anyone at his school would let him come over and spend the night, but he just didn't feel like spending an entire night with someone stupid and annoying.
His third and final option was to go in and talk to L, just not about his feelings. His dad wouldn't know, anyway. Light saw this as the best option and decided to go with it. Taking a deep breath, he walked back toward the detective's room and opened the door.
L was lying back on the pillows, his knees still drawn up. His torso was covered—which Light found he was again thankful for—and his eyes were closed. His black hair cascaded around his face, his bangs covering most of his lidded eyes. If it was possible, he looked even paler than before, like he had just seen a ghost. Or he was one. As Light watched, L winced, making his heart ache. He didn't like seeing L like this, in pain, no matter how beautiful he looked.
As the thought of L being beautiful crossed Light's mind he felt an unfamiliar stirring in his chest. He had no idea what came over him, but all of a sudden he wanted to go over to the detective and hug him, to cuddle up to him and tell him that everything would be okay. That he would be out of this miserable place soon and back working on cases. Light hated that feeling, but at the same time loved it. Brushing his current train of thought aside, Light moved toward L's bed.
L's eyes opened as he approached. He turned his head and met Light's eyes without the slightest hesitation. Tension crackled through the air like lightning before a bad storm. It sent Light's heart beating erratically in his chest while L's heart monitor told Light that L was unaffected by the sudden shift. His heartbeat was still strong and steady.
"Why did you do it?" The words escaped Light's lips before he even realized that he had thought them.
L's gaze didn't waver as he answered with a, "Do what, Light-kun?"
"On the stairs," Light found himself saying again. What was it about the detective lately that made Light do things that he secretly wanted to do, but wouldn't even admit to himself of wanting to do? "After coming in from the rain. When we were drying off…." L didn't seem to know what Light was talking about, so Light continued trying to explain. He didn't want to say flat out what had happened. "Before we went to the investigation room. What you did…. Why did you do it?"
"Do what, Light-kun?" L asked again. Light swore that he heard a hint of amusement in the detective's voice.
"You know what," he hissed, getting annoyed.
"I'm afraid that I don't," L said innocently. Well, it would have been innocent had it not been for the small smirk playing on his lips. "You're going to have to be more specific."
"You…." Light couldn't think of an insult. His mind was whirling and he couldn't think straight. So he decided to just bite the bullet and say it. "You kissed me," he whispered, looking at the ground.
"Was that hard to say?" L asked in a slightly mocking tone.
A sudden burst of anger flashed through Light. He snapped his head up and glared at the other man. "Never mind," he snapped. "I don't want to know." L opened his mouth, but Light cut him off before he could speak with a "Forget it."
Silence descended on the two. It was heavy and awkward, seemingly chocking Light. He noticed that silences were becoming common around the detective.
"Why are you here?" L asked suddenly.
His sudden voice made Light jump a little. It took a second for Light to register what L had said and answer. "My dad made me stay," Light explained. "He says that I'm working too much and that I need a break." Light knew he was only telling half the truth, and by the look L gave him, he knew it too. But Light was grateful to the other man that he didn't push for the second half.
"So why didn't you go home?" L asked, seeming genuinely curious. "Why did you stay here?"
Light bit down the words that came to his throat before he could spill out the truth. That he really didn't want to be anywhere else. He wanted to be with L. Shrugging, Light responded, "I don't feel like being coddled by my mother or smothered by my sister."
L held eye contact with him for a second before nodding and looking away. Light knew that L was thinking by the look on his face. But there was something else there, too, something that Light couldn't identify.
Finally noticing that he was still standing, Light pulled a chair up to the bed and sat in it. L still wasn't talking, seemingly lost in thought. Light looked around the room to distract himself from staring at L. That was definitely one thing he didn't want to explain to the detective.
The walls were white, just like any ordinary hospital. On the east side of the room was just a plain wall where the crash cart was. The north side wasn't really different, only the cart was replaced with the door and there was a painting hanging to the left of it. Light didn't know why they put it in there. It wasn't all that much to look at, and if he were a patient here it would probably make him sicker rather than making him feel better.
The south end was where the bed was located, but Light didn't dare glance over. He didn't need to be distracted by L anymore than he already was. The west side was definitely the most interesting, but that wasn't really saying much. There was a window that covered pretty much the whole wall, with curtains on either side that reminded Light of the ones he had seen in hotels when his family went on vacations. He couldn't complain about the view, though. It gave way to the Tokyo skyline, the skyscrapers only black silhouettes against the sky. The sun was just setting, painting the surrounding atmosphere in pastels of bright oranges, yellows, and reds. The parts out of the warm colours' reach were a rich midnight blue. It was breathtaking.
Finally getting the feeling that he was being watched, Light turned around. L was staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Light couldn't bring himself to say anything. Apparently, L couldn't either, because he moved his gaze from Light to the scene just outside the window. Light turned back, too. They stayed silent, looking at the masterpiece of nature for a few minutes.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
He said it so quietly Light wasn't sure he was supposed to hear it. But when he turned to look at L and the detective did the same, Light knew that he was. "Yeah," Light agreed, meeting those black orbs, somehow darker than the now darkened sky they were just marveling at. "It is."
Even though they didn't say anything else, they still stared at each other. Light looked into black eyes and L gazed into honey ones. Tension crackled through the air like never before. It was thick and suffocating but somehow at the same time comfortable.
Light was getting lost in L's eyes. All he could see were those brilliant orbs of pitch. As he looked, he could even start to make out the detective's iris pattern. He was sure that if he looked and concentrated hard enough, he could easily draw the detective's eyes perfectly, right down to the proper iris pattern.
Light knew he was lost, now. To the detective's eyes, to L himself. Hopelessly lost. But he couldn't bring himself to care, even if he had tried. Light was definitely lost and he only knew one thing.
He never wanted to be found.
*~*~*~*
With hands held high
Into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up
To swallow you
*~*~*~*
Song:
Hands Held High
Artist:
Linkin Park
