The collab is coming, it's just taking a long time. Here's a little chappy to get you waiting. I hope you'll like it.
Toby took his Iphone and tapped on his Twitter app. He then called Spencer and turned the camera on.
"Hello Spobinos! I have asked you guys to tweet me your would you rathers and, from what I can see, you guys have a lot to ask. Spencer should be walking in any second. She's just putting on foundation make-up paste on her face to hide a spot she woke up with. Uhmm, I probably shouldn't have said that, she's going to kill me!"
He fixes the lighting, focuses the camera, changes the lense and makes sure everything works perfectly.
"Ok guys, sorry I was late. Melissa needed my help in her bedroom. She was packing for London," she said, making that excuse up on the spot.
"But we're at my house, why is your sister at my house?" He asks, teasing her.
She laughs and punches his shoulder.
"First one is from HelloKelly. Would you rather be attractive but get punched in the face every morning, or, be ugly?" She says, looking at Toby
"I would rather stay as I am, attractive with no punch in the face. I choose my proposition"
"You can't! You have to choose one of the two, that's cheating!"
"Spencer! Why would I choose a life where I would keep this attractive, sexy face and get punch by jealous little mofos for it? And being ugly doesn't exist anyway! How about you sweety?"
"I would say that I would rather be ugly. Because if you really think about it. Your attractive face would just get crushed each day, you'd end up ugly. When you're ugly from the start, you save yourself a big amount of pain and have had all the time to figure out how to get your make up done nicely, to look more presentable."
"You're giving it too much thought! I'm staying as hot as I am now. I'd rather choose my own propostion. Next one is: would you rather only be able to whisper, or only be able to shout? Whisper for sure!" He says smiling instantly
"Why so confident?"
"Because, how awesome would that be? You'd be able to freak everybody out, all day. With no effort. Whispering is creepy!"
"No it's not. I would rather whisper too because, Imagine you're in class, and the teacher says something to you that isn't very nice. How are you going to insult him or her discreetly if all you can do is shout?"
"God Spencer, I'm shocked! How dare you insult anyone? I'm so disappointed in you girl! You need some punishment! No insulting teachers! They are here to educate you and help you elevate in society. You owe them respect, work, love and obedience. I'm just kidding guys, you don't owe them love. In fact if they do ask for a certain, intimate kind of love, run away, call 911, 999 for the UK and 17 for France. Pedophily is a very serious subject guys, don't let yourself fooled. It is not normal. Please save yourselves guys"
"What? Toby? We were playing would you rather. How did you get on that topic?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry I got carried away. I just watched a documentary about it yesterday. Yeah, whispering, it's the best alternative. Imagine some guy in the street, he was looking at you, he thought you looked fine, hot, beautiful everything. He comes up to you like hey baby doll, I lost my phone number, can I have yours? All of that, whispering. Just picture that in your head. Now tell me if that's not creepy"
"Yeah. I change my mind about that it really is creepy. Would you rather stop using Facebook or Youtube?" Spencer bursted laughing.
"I mean is that a real question? Yeah, I'm a youtuber and I'm going to delete my Youtube Channel to spend my days on Facebook!" Toby said, joing Spencer in her laughter
"Does anyone still uses Facebook? I mean seriously? Have you seen tumblr?" She says, scrolling down Toby's phone. " There's a freaking photomontage of my face on a unicorn's body and Toby's face is in the sky. That's priceless!"
"Would you rather, be able to hear perfectly with perfect precision, or, be able to see using a very painful eye corrective drop, to be applied every hour?"
"What kind of question is that? Who would be stupid enough to choose the hearing thing? I want the eye corrective drop"
"What? I never thought you liked pain! I would choose the ability to hear everything with precision! How cool would that be? At least, if some scary person, that would randomly be in a black hoodie, and that happen to call themselves a letter of the alphabet snuck around me, I would know! Of course that hypothetical black hooded person *cough* -A *cough* is absolutely not a real person. I just made it up on the spot. Totally!"
"What's happening to you today? Can I know? And uhm, sorry to tell you that Tobes but the hearing abilty is stupid"
"Well choosing pain is stupid and you don't see me calling you stupid, stupid!"
"Shut up! Let me explain. Just picture that in you mind. Your bedroom is between two very interesting rooms of the house: first there's the bathroom, would you enjoy the sweet symphony of your family's diarrheas after having bad sushi? I don't think so! Second, we have you parent's bedroom. I will not believe that you wouldn't mind hearing them go on a little honeymoon round"
"Ew! Ew! EW! Stop I can't, you crossed a line, Spence' no! Stop! I'd rather stick a knife into my ears! Ew, no, no no. I hate you for that!"
"Are you saying that you would choose pain over hearing your parents have sex?"
"Don't say that! Ew' I miss the time where I didn't know where babies came from."
"Oh sorry, Are you saying that you would rather only see with a painful eye corrective drop, than hearing your parents copulate?"
"Yes, yes, yes, definetly! I'm sorry for saying your pick was stupid, I'm the stupid one! Please make the mental images go away, please make it leave my head! I'm in hell!"
Spencer hugs Toby who is covering his eyes and shaking his head.
"Oh how I love being right. It's ok honey, you'll be fine. I'm here for you, would you like some vanilla ice cream?"
He shakes his head
"Would you like some steamy spoby sexy fanfics to get it off? I mean, if your mind is already on porn, might as well be about me."
"Ok,"
"Alright, we have a Spoby fanfic here let's click. Toby was in his bed, sweating after a horrible nightmare, Spencer was laying right beside him. She woke up as he startled and immediately cared to ask him what had troubled his sleep. He was about to speak when a huge moan interrupted his conversation. When the horrible truth finally sank in, Toby took a gun and shot himself in the head. It was his mother's moan and it came from the bedroom. Spencer her, just got up and called Wren to tell him that she was finally free to date him, as she had always wanted. Oh no Tobes! I'm sorry"
"And I'm sorry for your loss" He took the gun and pressed it against his temple.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spencer screamed and covered the lense.
A few minutes later she took the camera and wiped her pretend tears with a tissue.
"Ok, I know it will be hard to understand for you but, Toby is gone. He left us, he couldn't stand the mental image. I just called Wren, he's taking me out for dinner. Don't think I didn't love Toby, but I think that enough time has passed now. It's been 25 minutes, it's normal for me to live my life. I think that it's what he would have wanted. Life goes on and we'll just need to remember him as he was: traumatized by the thought of his parents having sex."
"Bazinga! I'm not dead! I'm here, I never really shot myself! We did that to be funny, cause we're funny people. I'm funny, like insane funny right Spence?"
Spencer looks down, not really sure what to answer
"Come on, I'm hilarious, that's what you always say! Last week at the restaurant you said it, I remember!"
"Sorry hun'. I was just trying to get you to pay the check I had forgotten my credit card"
"But I'm funny, you can't say I'm not! Don't look at me like that, I'm not stupid!"
"Yeah you are!" Spencer says hugging him "But that's alright, I still love you" She kisses his cheek.
"Spencer, I'll let that one go cause you cooked dinner tonight. You were a good girl. Oh and I have a good one. Would you rather have a fish for a nose, or have noses as fish?"
"I'm done, I'm never taking you seriously, ever again!" Spencer leaves the room
"I think it's time to conclude this video! See you next week SPO BYE!" He covers the lense with his chest
"Don't forget to subscribe, like and share the video on your social media, but don't post it on facebook, it's pointless, no one goes there anymore!" Spencer screams from outside the room.
