I knew the sex scene in the last chapter was going to cause a ruckus! Okay, you know I'm a zennie, so I had to go light on the graphic stuff. The sex scene between J/E is meant to be less about lust and more about making each other feel better.
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I know the J/E people were upset I had her thinking of Hyde during the act, but since she's still in love with him and this is the first person she's having sex with since Hyde AND he's Hyde's best friend, I felt it was natural for her to drift off for a it and think of him when things starting getting really dirty. Eric is attracted to Jackie and is starting to appreciate her and see her the way the other three boys do, but he still is in love with Donna, which brings me to...
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One of the guest reviewers had an excellent comment about how I haven't shown much of Eric's thoughts about Donna. This is true, but my plan was always to show the J/E interaction first, have him help her, and then have Jackie help Eric sort out what's going on in his head. This is the chapter where you'll start to learn more about how Eric feels about Donna. Hopefully, she's becoming less bitchy and slowly turning into the old Donna. I'm trying! Okay, I'll shut up now. Here we go...
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CHAPTER 9
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Donna is sitting on her therapist's couch Indian-style, slightly rocking back and forth. "What are you writing?" she asks, self-consciously.
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"I'm just taking notes so I remember which questions I want to ask you" Jennifer says.
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"How do you determine what you want to ask me?" she wonders.
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"Therapists try to ask questions that trigger thought. Like, for example, you mentioned the first time you came that your mother used to be a patient here" she starts.
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Donna groans. "I knew you'd find a way to bring my mother into this".
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"Why do you think your mother went to get therapy?" she asks.
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"Therapy was just the tip of the iceberg with her, so it's more of a 'why not?' than a why, if you know what I mean" she divulges.
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"What else was your mother trying?" Jennifer prods.
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Donna takes a deep breath. "I mean, it's just hard, right, because I don't even know you and you want me to tell you the deepest darkest secrets about my life. Like, how does one tell a perfect stranger that my parents used to hold nudist events and key parties and that they brought other people into their bed while I was home? My dad's a simple guy. It's not his fault, he tried hard and did some really distasteful shit to keep my mom interested and he just...wasn't enough for her, so she left."
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"Sounds like you feel a lot of resentment toward your mom" she empathizes.
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The redhead laughs and pulls her hair back into a ponytail that she never secures. "Ya think?" Her laughing tapers off. "I think I get the question thing now. Very clever."
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"Donna, you told me why your mom came here. Why are you here?" she questions.
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She thinks for a moment. "I guess I'm here because I don't want to turn into her."
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"Why do you think there's a chance of that happening?" Jennifer wonders.
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"I think my dad wasn't what was really making my mom unhappy. I think she tried all of these things to stop whatever was that was going on in her head, making her so unhappy" she muses.
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"And what do think was making her unhappy?" she asks.
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"I'm pretty sure my mom was a depressive. Clinically. I think she ruined her family because she didn't know why she was sad or how to stop it" she guesses.
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"So why do you think you're turning into her then?" she questions.
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Donna swallows hard then looks at the doctor with tears forming in her eyes. "I'm a depressive too".
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Eric and Jackie are lying down on the beach sunbathing.
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"Why don't you ever want to go in the water?" he asks.
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"Oh no. I don't like the surf. Too salty. It's bad for the hair" she informs him.
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"But I saw you sitting on the shoreline earlier and you didn't care when your hair got wet then" he says with an accusatory look.
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"Look Eric, can we drop it?" she asks tersely.
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He looks at her strangely for a moment before a big grin breaks out across his face. "Jackie Burkhart can't swim."
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"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I can" she grumbles.
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"You know Jackie, you don't have to worry about drowning. According to The Life of Brian, witches can float" he smirks.
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"Get bent, will you?" she frowns.
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"Seriously, what's up?" he questions.
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She looks at him for a moment then breaks. "Fine. I can swim in a pool, but I'm afraid of swimming in the surf".
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He puts his hand across his heart. "Aww. Don't be scared little one. I'll take you swimming."
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She smiles at him, unable to stay as irritated as she wants to. "My dad used to take me when I was little and then he just stopped. I haven't really done it since."
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She looks small and helpless to him now. Not at all the girl he used to know in the basement who had bravado and swagger. What the hell did Hyde do to her while he was in Africa?
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"Jackie, you're going to face your fears today. Like Frodo Baggins, Luke Skywalker and Ellen Ripley before you, you're going to face the monster-which in your case is a 10 foot wave" he announces.
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"I'm impressed that you managed to squeeze three nerd references into one sentence. Trifecta! Better pace yourself" she jokes.
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"And I'm impressed that you got all three of my nerd references, you closet nerd" he smirks. "Now stop trying to weasel out of it by distracting me".
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"What do I get if I do this?" she asks.
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"The satisfaction of knowing you've conquered your fears" he states grandly with an arm flourish.
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She looks at him unimpressed.
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"Okay fine, what do you want? Candy? Something shiny? A tiny bikini—okay that one's more for me" he jokes.
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"I want you to get real with me about Donna" she demands.
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"Jackie, I don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm trying to have fun here" he complains.
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"Why did you sleep with me last night?" she asks, point blank.
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Eric lowers his voice to sound sexy. "Have you seen yourself naked, Jackie? Because I have, and if you-"
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"Cut the crap, Forman!" she yells. "I want the real truth about Donna and what's bothering you, and then I'll go out into the scary freaking water with you, okay?"
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"Why do even care?" he wonders sincerely without malice.
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"I know we're not, like, in love or anything, but...I don't know. I guess I love you in that other way" she confesses honestly. "You helped me through one of the toughest 48 hours of my life and I just, well, I want to do the same for you" she tells him.
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"I'm good. Honestly. I don't need help" he smiles, unconvincingly.
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"You left your parent's house a few hours after you got back from a six month trip to Africa. You are in Mexico, with a chick you have hated until now-" she rants.
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"I never hated you, Jackie" he insists.
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"Fine. ...with a chick you didn't date until now, and then you fucked your girlfriend's best friend. To me, that suggests a cry for help" she finishes.
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"First of all, Donna is not my girlfriend. Second of all, I didn't fuck you, we had sex. Fucking is for people who don't like each other very much. Third of all, you're clearly not best friends with her anymore. And I left home because...you know what? I don't give a shit if you go into the water Jackie. Do what you want" he snaps and rolls over to face away from her.
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Angie pulls into the Formans' driveway in an orange MGB convertible and honks twice.
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Hyde wanders out from the kitchen and sees his sister in her new ride. "Hell yeah!"
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She giggles, pacing through a variety of 'cool' poses.
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"Stop. You're ruining it" Hyde makes a disgusted face.
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"Whatever. You're just jealous, joker!" she cackles.
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"God, you remind me of Jackie right now" he says under his breath as he smiles to himself.
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"What'd you say?" she asks.
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"Nothing" he answers quickly.
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"Did you just say I'm like Jackie?" she strains her face from thinking so hard.
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"Gimme your keys" he demands.
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"No friggin' way, sir. You're gonna have to pry them out of my cold, dead hands" she taunts.
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He cocks his head to the side. "That can be arranged" he says as he leaps into the passenger's seat and tickles his sister mercilessly until she drops the keys.
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He holds them up "Now you're going to see what this baby is really capable of" he grins.
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Donna pulls up behind them in her car and gets out. "Holy crap! I think I've died and gone to heaven!"
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"It's cool, right? Angie asks.
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"Fuck yeah it's cool!" she exclaims.
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"Too cool for you" Hyde grumbles.
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"Aww, what the matter Hyde? Daddy didn't buy you one too?" she taunts.
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"My car is sweeter than this, you lumberjack" he snaps before realizes what he's just said.
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"Did you just call me a lumberjack?" she looks at him with curiosity.
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He balks. "Eh...no".
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Angie looks at him strangely. "Yes you did".
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"Shut up, Angie" he grunts.
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"He did, right?" she confirms.
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"I heard it" Angie smiles.
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Donna scratches her head. "Hmm, who was the only person who used to call me that? Who was it? I just can't remember, can you Hyde?"
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"Cut it out, Donna" he says seriously.
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"I will if you tell me what you're gonna do about her" she offers.
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Hyde tosses Angie's keys into her front seat and jumps out of the car. "Catch you later, sis" he says as he walks into the house.
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Angie looks at the redhead and sighs. "Why did you do that? You know he's really sensitive about her."
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Donna looks down at the pavement and feels a pang of guilt. "I don't know".
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"Now who's going to drive with me to Chicago?" she whines.
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Donna holds up a finger. "Let me go talk to him. Hang out here for a few minutes."
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Angie nods and slumps into her new car to sunbathe.
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Donna runs down the basement stairs and finds Hyde opening a beer. "Go away".
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Donna's face constricts. "Hyde, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-"
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"What part of 'go away' is confusing to you? Jeez. I thought when you dyed your hair back you might get smarter" he huffs.
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She hesitates for a moment before deciding what to do. "I'm not leaving".
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Hyde groans. "Oh good God, you're as bad as..." he loses his train of thought.
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"As bad as Jackie?" she wonders as she grabs herself a beer.
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Hyde shakes his head and sits on the couch. "What do you want me to say? That I miss her? Fine. I do. It doesn't matter though, because she thinks I'm the plague".
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"She might not" Donna weakly suggests.
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"Do you know what she said to me at the party, when we had our fight?" he asks. "She told me that Edna had the right idea about me" he closes his eyes, reliving the moment, letting the self-revulsion envelop him like a thick blanket in the summertime.
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Donna winces. "She said that? That doesn't sound like something Jackie would say."
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"Exactly, man" he points to her for emphasis. "Kelso wasn't joking when he said we messed her up, except he was wrong about one thing. He didn't mess her up, I did."
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"What do you mean? You think you broke her or something?" she asks.
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Hyde nods and takes a swig of his beer. "I know I did".
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Donna slumps into the other side of the couch. "What do you think they're doing together?"
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Hyde shrugs. "Your guess is as good as mine".
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"I think" she takes a breath, "I have a bad feeling about the two of them".
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"She wouldn't do that" he answers definitively. "She's not like that".
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"No, she wasn't like that before, but you broke her, remember?" she nudges.
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Hyde's blood runs cold for a moment until he shakes it off. "No".
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"Just because you don't want it to be true doesn't mean it isn't" she says philosophically. "Fez was right, you know. Neither of them has had sex in six months. They're both feeling sad and vulnerable, and they hate the two of us right now, so what's to stop them?"
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"She wouldn't, okay? She could've had sex with Fez and she didn't, so why would she fuck Forman?" he rants.
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"You know the answer to that, and there are many" she says ruefully.
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"Look, I don't care if she is fucking Forman. Good for him, she's just a slut who knows her way around a mattress" he spits.
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Donna slaps the beer out of his hand. "Listen to yourself! You love her, Hyde. You can deny it all you want but the world knows. Everybody around you knows. Stop acting like a dillhole and man up" she yells.
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"I don't know how to stop" he admits quietly as he picks the can up off the ground.
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"How to stop loving her or how to stop being an asshole?" she asks.
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He looks up at her with shaded eyes. "Both".
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Jackie glares at Eric for a moment and realizes she's not going to get a response. He went out on a limb for her when he rescued her from the party from hell, and she's going to do the same for him now. She strips off her sarong, shoes and hat and walks bravely toward the water.
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Eric notices her swish past him but he does not look up.
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I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Jackie can't believe how handy she always finds that book. She likes to read it to Betsy at bedtime when she's in town, but she suspects it's more for her own sake than for the little girl's.
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Eric notices Jackie as she begins to step into the surf. "Hey! Jackie! What the hell are you doing?" he screams.
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"I"m going swimming!" she screams back as she continues her nausea-inducing trip into the water. She tells herself to close her eyes—no wait, should she have them open? Damn.
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Eric pulls off his shoes and runs after her.
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Salt water sprays her face and she isn't sure if it's from the waves or if it's from the tears falling out of her eyes. Just as she's about to take the last step off the shallow sandbank into to deeper ocean floor, an arms shoots out and encircles her waist.
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She turns around to find Eric holding onto her. "God you are a pain in the ass. It would honestly take a big asshole like Hyde to keep you in line" he grouses. "Do you ever do what you're supposed to do?"
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Jackie laughs. "Not really, but I'm predictable in my unpredictability" she declares.
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"So, why'd you want me out here, huh?" he looks pointedly at her.
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"I figured if I held up my end of the bargain, you'd have to hold up yours" she says.
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He laughs. "Oh man. Jackie, I never agreed to that bargain" he responds gently.
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Showtime- she thinks to herself. Her bottom lips pouts outward and her eyes grow big and sad. "Please Eric? Hold up your end of the bargain. Pleaseeee?"
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He tries to resist but he can't. "Fuck! Okay fine. Okay, I'll tell you, but then you're going to have to do something disgusting like flash me".
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"You're a pig, Eric, you know that?" she asks angrily.
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"Yeah well, I'm a horny 20 year old guy and you're hot, so sue me" he shrugs.
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"Fine. I'll flash you, but I'm going to call you Fez for the rest of the day" she threatens.
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He looks at her chest through the bathing suit. "Worth it".
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"Why did you leave home with me right after you got back, and don't tell me it was because of Donna, because I'll know you're full of shit?" she says.
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"I don't know what I want to do with my life" he admits. "I think I might be having a smidge of a nervous breakdown. I figured Mexico would be as good of an escape as any" he confesses.
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"I thought you wanted to teach" she asks him.
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"I did. I probably do still. I just...I don't know. I feel like my life is going by so quickly and it's so out of my control, you know? I had all of these dreams when I was a kid and now that I'm older I realize probably none of them are going to happen for me. They teach you to dream, but they never teach you what to do when you don't get there, which most of us never do" he breathes heavily from treading water with a 95lbs weight in his arms.
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"That's pretty deep" she frowns.
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"Yeah, I'm afraid it's not all that exciting. I caught a flash of what my life might look like in 20 years and it scared the shit out of me. Then I realized that I'd never be able to achieve anything else and that freaked me out even more" he babbles on.
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"Why don't you just change your dream?" she asks, finding this to be the most obvious answer. "Why does it have to be one or the other? Can't you just pick a third option?"
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Eric laughs. "God Jackie. I like it. A simple answer to an age old question".
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"I feel like you're speaking in riddles" she gripes.
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"I'm saying you're a genius." he smiles.
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"Oh. Well duh! Everybody knows that." she smiles back. "Now let me solve your Donna problem. I'm on a roll."
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"Why do you care so much about this?" he wonders.
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"I don't know. I guess I always thought you were perfect together. If you guys can't work it out, what chance do the rest of us have? I mean, I'm not perfect with anybody" she says sadly.
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Eric laughs. "You don't really believe that, do you?" he challenges.
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"You know I do" she tells him.
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"Donna and I aren't perfect, okay? We're just as fucked up as you and Hyde, only more rational and not as sexy" he claims. "Nobody is perfect for anybody. Even my parents have to work hard at their marriage and they're like a pair of old shoes" he says, exhausted.
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"What's the big secret with her, huh?" she pushes.
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He looks out into the surf and decides whether to betray Donna's confidence. "Do you promise not to say anything? And before you say yes, I don't want you to promise the way you promised not to tell Donna I hated the Man Ring or how you promised not to tell Kelso about me seeing you kiss the Cheese Guy," he says. "I want a real promise".
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"I promise in the way that I will never tell a living soul what happened in our hotel room last night" she says, looking straight into his eyes.
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He nods. "Okay. Donna is depressed" he tells her.
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"What's bothering her?" she wonders.
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"Everything. Or nothing. I don't know. She's just sad a lot and she doesn't always have a reason. I used to be able to work around it more, but it got to a point that I just...I don't know. I love her, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to be with her. Not unless she does something about it" he explains.
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Jackie's brow furrows. "Do you think this is why she was so weird when you were gone? She wasn't herself at all" she confides.
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"Yes" he guesses.
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"Is this why you left her at the altar?" she investigates.
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A wave of shame washes over Eric along with the surf and he nods. "It's me. I'm just not enough for her. She needs somebody who can help her, and clearly I'm not capable" he says hanging his head. "It feels like I'm living on a roller coaster and I can't get off."
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"I can relate to that" she laughs. "Look, as the daughter of an alcoholic, I can tell you that there's nothing you can do for her unless she wants help. It's not you, Eric. She has to come to it on her own." she says.
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"You remember how she was when Midge left, right? Those were the longest months of my life. And the whole promise ring incident and Casey Kelso and running away to California. She's just always pushing me away. I love her more than anything Jackie and I just can't watch her go through it again. It's too hard for me. If you'd seen her fighting with me on New Year's, so hostile...I've never seen her that bad before" he admits. "It scared me".
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"Did you think sleeping with me would end it with her without you having to make the choice to do it yourself?" she looks away from him. "Were you using me?"
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Eric thinks hard and turns her face toward his. "I didn't realize it at the time. It wasn't all because of that. Weren't you using me?"
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Jackie throws her arms around Eric and brushes her lips against his. "Yes and no. I needed somebody to make me feel better, but you're the only one I would've done this with. I know that now."
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"What's going to happen now?" he asks her.
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"You're going to teach me to swim in the ocean" she says as she grabs his hand and he wades them out into the middle of the water.
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"Are we far enough for you yet?" he tries to gauge.
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"Oh my God I'm freaking out" she pants.
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"You're okay. I've got you" he assures her.
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"Don't you dare let go of my hand!" she yells.
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"I won't let go until you're ready. You can do this" he insists.
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"No, Eric please. I don't think I can" she starts to cry.
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"Hey—look at me." he says pointing to his eyes. "I'm right here watching and I will grab you if you get farther than arms length. I promise."
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She cries and shakes her head.
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"Don't you trust me?" he asks her.
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She looks at him and nods.
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"Just five seconds and you're done. You've got this okay?" he bolsters her.
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She nods while breathing in and out deeply to calm herself down.
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"Ready? I'm going to let go now" he releases her hand slowly but keeps it inches away from her. "Just tread water for five seconds. One-one thousand, two-one thousand three-one thousand, four-one thousand, five..."
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"I'm doing it Eric! I can't believe I'm doing it! I am awesome!" she laughs giddily as she's pulled back into his arms.
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"I knew you could do it! You want to go again?" he smiles at her.
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"No fucking way!" she breathes, clinging harder to his neck.
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"Okay. But it was a good first step, right? Like when Luke first used the bot for light saber practice. He couldn't control the force yet, but he was learning. Just like you, padawan" he touches her nose.
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A/N – Stick with me zennies and D/E lovers. It'll get there. Please review!
