Author's note: I don't really know why, but this chapter holds a special spot in my heart. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
So without further due… here goes the new chapter. Thank you so much for your support/feedback/reviews. I love you all!!
Laurie
Chapter 9: Let Go
(So let go)
So let go
Mmm, jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.
(So let go)
Yeah, let go
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.
Peyton was sitting at her desk when Brooke stormed in, carrying two huge take-away bags. "Good morning sunshine!" she said, putting the two bags down on Peyton's desk and settling in like she owned the place.
Peyton smiled – she loved it when Brooke went crazy on her. She had so much energy, it was dazzling. "Good morning. May I ask what is all that?"
"Food!" she exclaimed. "And I know you've forgotten what it's like to feed yourself, P. Sawyer, but I think we need to do something about that. You're getting too skinny and I will not tolerate that!"
Peyton laughed. "Alright, alright. I'll eat, Mommy. What'd you get?"
"Chinese. I wasn't sure what I wanted or what you would feel like having, so I went crazy and got a little bit of everything." Brooke opened the bags and the smell of the food filled the room instantly.
"Sounds good!" Peyton grabbed some rice and egg rolls while Brooke had some mushroom chicken.
"So. What's up? You were asleep in front of the TV when I came in last night and gone when I left this morning."
Peyton froze momentarily. She wasn't sure how to say the words. "Lucas and I –"
"Did you have another fight? Will you two make up already?! He's got you sleeping on the couch and watching TV, and God knows how rare that is. You need to get your groove back, P. Sawyer!"
"Actually," she began, tentatively, "I finally feel like I'm going somewhere. I mean, it's like I can go anywhere now."
"Alright, spill. What happened?"
Peyton stared at her best friend. Saying it would make it truer, more official, but she felt like she was ready. She took a deep breath. "We broke up."
Brooke stared back, speechless. "What? You're kidding, right?"
"No. We broke up, for good."
"But why? This is crazy!"
"Maybe. Maybe not. We just realized that it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it never was."
"You do realize we're talking about Lucas, right? The same Lucas you've been pining after for months – not, wait, for years. The same Lucas who rescued you from the library and saved you God only knows how many times?"
Peyton shrugged. "It wasn't easy facing it," she confessed. "But we had this huge fight, and at first I was trying to figure out what went wrong, and how we could end up fighting like this… then I realized it wasn't about the fight at all. And when I finally snapped back to sanity and faced the truth, I realized that I had been in love with what I thought our story was – not with what it really is."
Brooke had been standing there, unable to move. She was trying to process what Peyton was telling her but she felt like everything was going fast – much too fast. "But what about the last few weeks, Peyt? You were happy, right?"
"I was happy to get what I had been waiting for for so long. I was happy to see a dream come true. I was happy because Lucas is a great friend and we understand each other. But it didn't feel… right. It was just hard admitting it," she finished.
"Wow."
Peyton laughed softly. "Yeah. Pretty crazy, right?"
"Try insane," Brooke said, aware that Peyton had no idea what she had just said meant to her.
"But do you want to know the craziest part? I gave Lucas his ring back yesterday, and it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I mean, I love him. I do. But it's like I can breathe again because I'm free of this dramatic love story I had created for myself."
"I cannot believe you are saying this."
"Me neither, to be honest." Peyton dipped into her food. "But I got even bigger news. Wanna hear it?"
Brooke chuckled. She wasn't sure she could handle two Leyton bombs in one single morning. "Alright, shoot."
"Haley's album is done!"
Brooke both sighed in relief and jumped as she realized how great this was for Haley. "That's awesome! When do we get to hear the new Naley songs??"
"Pretty soon, actually. I want to have a concert in Tric next week."
"Ooh I'm really excited now! Tutor Mom must be so happy!"
"Actually," Peyton said, lowering her voice like someone whispering a secret, "I haven't told her."
"P. Sawyer, you just made my day! Organizing a secret Naley concert? You are definitely getting your groove back!"
"Told ya!" Peyton told Brooke as she stole a mushroom from her best friend's box and threw it at her. Brooke immediately responded by grabbing one of Peyton's egg roll, and soon enough they were having a food fight right in the middle of Peyton's office.
Five minutes later, half of the food had ended up on the floor and both girls were breathless. "Alright alright, I call a truce!" Peyton screamed from across the room. She was hiding behind the desk.
"Okay," Brooke said carefully, peaking from behind the couch. "On one condition."
"Does it involve more food fighting?"
"Nah."
"Alright then. Shoot."
Brooke got up. "Let me help with Haley's concert?"
"Brooke, you didn't even have to ask."
She smiled as she walked towards Peyton. She felt closer to her now than she had in a long, long time. "Thanks."
Peyton sat on her desk and Brooke did the same. "Anyway," she trailed, "you know the concert wouldn't be half as fabulous without me."
Peyton laughed. She grabbed more food and threw it at Brooke, and just like that, they were fighting again. But as they both ran to opposite corners of the room, Brooke thought that felt was more like they were reconnecting.
--
Haley looked up from her stack of copies and found her best friend standing in front of her. "Hey Luke!"
"Hey back at you."
"What's up?"
"Not much. Just wanted to check in on you."
Haley put her pen down, thinking the next fifteen papers would have to wait until later. "I'm doing great, actually. My album's done," she announced proudly. She still couldn't believe it but she could not have been happier about it.
"Hales that's fantastic!"
"Thanks. I'm really excited about it. Plus Jamie has been doing a lot better, and I think Nate's okay too, so everything is finally good. I just hope it stays that way."
"It will," Lucas reassured her.
"So what are you really doing here?"
He stared at her. "Have I been such a bad friend that the simplest visit makes you think I have some kind of endgame?" He wondered where the time when they used to talk everyday had gone.
"You haven't been a bad friend, Luke. You've just been… absent. Between Lindsay leaving, and Peyton back in your life, it's been hectic. And I understand."
He shook his head. "You shouldn't have to. I should be here, period."
"You are now," she told him kindly. "So what's going on?"
"Don't freak out, okay?"
"Why would I freak out?"
"Because Peyton and I broke up?"
"What? Why? When?"
"Yesterday."
"You're forgetting the other two questions, Luke."
He laughed. He'd missed this. "I just… we had this huge fight the other night. We basically screamed our heads off. And I thought we would get through it, until I realized – until we both realized – that there was nothing left to fix."
"I don't understand. You wrote two books about her. You proposed to her a month ago, Lucas!"
"I know, I know, okay. I know. And it was only one book, Hales. I've been killing myself trying to tell everyone that. The comet isn't Peyton. It isn't anyone."
Haley nodded. "Fair enough. But what about the first book?"
"I thought I meant everything I said in that book, Hales, I did. I mean, before it was edited anyway. But now it's like everything is clear again, and I can see that I've been making up this love story in my mind because I needed something to believe in. You know, with Keith dying, and my heart condition, and –"
"And Brooke breaking up with you," Haley finished for him.
Lucas said nothing for a while as he let Haley's words sink in. It wasn't what he had intended to say, but now he could feel the weight of her words slowly changing everything.
"Yeah," he whispered, acknowledging her thought. "That too."
--
Lucas was dribbling across the river court when Skills stole the ball away from him and scored in a matter of seconds. "Damn it," Lucas said, out of breath.
"Man, you are so outta shape it's not even funny," Skills told him as they walked towards the bench and sat down.
"I know," Lucas answered, still trying to catch his breath.
"But you know, it's alright. I ain't gonna tell anyone, Coach."
"Haha. That's very kind of you."
"I mean, I don't want my team to think their coach is crazy and has also lost it at basketball."
Lucas laughed. "Thanks, Skills."
"But for real, man? We miss you. After tonight, only three more games left and you back on."
"It feels like it's been forever."
"I'd have gone nuts already if I was you, dog."
A car pulled up on the side of the court as Lucas answered. "It's worth the wait," he said as he saw Brooke get out of her car. She waved at them and started walking in their direction, and Lucas felt his heart start racing in his chest.
Skills stared at him before getting up. "You know what, I take back what I said about you bein' almost crazy."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'll just say that if B. Davis is back on your radar, then somethin' must have gone right in that brain of yours."
Skills turned around without giving him the chance to answer. He hugged Brooke on his way out, and once she had his back to him, he gave him a high-five. Lucas laughed.
"Hi Brooke!"
"Hi Lucas," she said as she eagerly took a seat next to him.
"What do you have there?" he asked, curious. She was holding a folded magazine in her hand.
"It's a surprise," she told him. "First I want to know how you are doing."
"Peyton told you?" he asked, frowning. She nodded and he felt his heart beat a little faster in his chest. This couldn't be good for his heart condition.
"I'm good," he answered truthfully. "Really good, actually," he said as he looked at her.
"So does this mean you're going back to Lindsay?"
She hadn't intended to ask at first, but the words had kind of slipped. Lucas frowned again. "No. It wasn't meant to be."
She smiled. "You're such a romantic, Lucas Scott."
"Come on, Brooke Davis. You're the same. Don't tell me you're not still waiting to be swept off your feet?"
"True," she admitted. "But I once read that true love comes quietly… without banners or flashing lights, you know. Maybe it's what it's about – feeling everything change with no warning. It doesn't have to be grand or perfect or ideal. There doesn't have to any feet-sweeping involved," she finished, answering his question.
"Is that how it feels with Owen?"
His question was pretty direct – too direct, maybe – but he had to ask. Brooke shrugged. "Owen makes me happy. He's funny and mature and kind. He's here for me. Right now, that's enough."
She stared out at the court and realized Peyton's drawing was gone. She wordlessly pointed her finger at it and Lucas nodded. "Yeah. I think Peyton did that last night. When I came this morning it was all gone."
"So that's where she disappeared to last night."
Lucas nodded. He would be lying if he said he wasn't happy about it. "So correct me if I'm wrong, but it's your turn now."
"What?"
"I told you how I was doing. Now I want to know what you're holding in your hand."
She smiled and handed him a magazine. He opened it to find the latest edition of "B. Davis".
"You think I need fashion advice?"
Brooke laughed. "No, you're fine. Actually, you've been doing really good, up until now. That sweaty old thing," she said as she disgustingly pointed at his old basketball shirt like only she could, "is definitely a misstep. But I forgive you."
"Thank you, you're too kind."
"Yeah, I know. But anyway. Open it, page 86."
Lucas flipped the pages until he found what Brooke had referred too. The page was entitled "BOOK REVIEWS – What to read to feel all warm and fuzzy again".
He turned to her and smiled. "You remembered," he said softly.
"Course I did. Sorry it took me so long, but Victoria wouldn't let me have the section before. But she's gone now… and I can give your second book it first outstanding review when it is published!" she told him, winking.
"You haven't even read it!"
"Come on, Lucas. I don't even have to read it to know it's good. Not that I won't."
"Thanks, Brooke. This is amazing."
"You're welcome, Broody."
Lucas reached out and touched her hand. "So, Cheery, what do you say I invite you out for lunch to thank you?"
--
The song I used in the title of this chapter is sung by Frou Frou.
