Ch 9 – You can't always get what you want

"What the fuck!?" I was awoken to the sound of Jake screaming.

"Jake, its…this isn't…its not what it looks like."

"Well what is it then coz to me it fuckin looks like you sleeping in some blokes bed!"

"Edward and I were doing homework then we watched a movie and I guess we fell asleep."

"Its true man nothing happened I swear." Edward said.

"Bella, get the fuck out of there. NOW!" I shot Edward an apologetic smile and jumped out of bed, grabbed my bag and walked toward Jacob.

"You better not have fuckin touched her!" He said pointing viciously at Edward.

"Jake, nothing happened last night I swear on Charlies life." Ok ok I know that was pathetic, but I don't want to lie to Jake, anymore than I already have, and technically nothing did happen last night. Jake grabbed my elbow and marched me down the hallway.

"Bells, babe everything ok?" the yelling had woken Em who was now standing protectively at the top of the staircase. I smiled at him.

"Yeah, Em everything's fine, this is Jacob." He looked at me worriedly for a second, I nodded and he seemed to understand and moved out of our way.

"Thanks Em" I whispered as we passed him. We got to the car before anything more was said.

"What the fuck Bells, seriously?"

"Jake please what I said before is the truth, I came here to do homework, we watched a movie and then I must have fallen asleep. Please believe me?" Jake studied my face, before reaching forward and pulling me into his chest.

"Babe I'm sorry, just seeing you in bed with another bloke freaked me out, I mean I know I lost it. I can't loose you babe, I just can't…not again."

"Jake I love you." I stated flatly. What the hell was I going to do? I couldn't deny that the whole time I was in the car the only place I wanted to be was in bed with Edward. What kind of sick fuck am I? Maybe Edward was right, maybe it would be that easy, however when I looked at Jake I knew it wasn't that easy, not for him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies and snuggling on the couch but I couldn't tell you what movies we watched as all I thought about was Edward. I had to snap out of this, Jake loved me and he was more than I could ever ask for, he used to be my best friend, he knows me better than anyone else and he still loves me, that's saying something.

Don't forget the café this morning girls, so much to discuss xox Rose

I woke up slightly dreading going to school, I knew I had bio first up and there would be an awkward threesome situation. I quickly got ready, and ran downstairs to an awaiting Al.

"So Missy, I have sooo many questions for you but to be fair to Rose I'll wait til were at the coffee shop." I half smiled at Al and jumped in her car. We barely spoke on the way to the coffee shop knowing that Rose would want to know everything as well and it was easier saying it just once.

"Sup bitches!" Rose yelled as we walked to her booth. "Well, well, well what an interesting weekend we had." I just looked at Rose and raised my eye brows, why was she being so smug we had the best dirt on her and I couldn't wait to let her know, that will put her back in her box.

"Ok me first." Alice announced. "Jasper has asked me to be his girlfriend" Alice was so excited that her voice was at a pitch barely audible to human beings.

"Wow, Ali, that's excellent!" I said, while Rose just rolled her eyes and snapped "I guess that's why you didn't come home Saturday night!" haha stupid Rose just put her foot in it.

"And how would you know Rosalie? Were you at my house by any chance?" The look on Rose's face was priceless, she full shit herself. Al and I burst into laughter.

"As if you can talk two timing Swan." The three of us were now in stiches, earning looks from everyone in the café.

"Ok, ok, Rose you first." Rose sat there thinking for a while.

"Well, Friday night last I can remember is dancing with Emmett in the lounge room, then I woke up in bed with him on Saturday morning, I know we didn't have sex because we were both fully clothed. Then we stayed in bed and talked all morning. He is actually quite a good guy and not as dumb as he looks." We all giggled. "Then we watched movies all night and fell asleep in his bed again. Sunday morning we were rudely woken by Jacob screaming and carrying on, but that's B's story. Then we did some homework and I went home."

"Did you have sex?" Al asked quickly.

"No"

"Did you kiss?" Rose's faced blushed lightly.

"Yes" she said very quietly.

"Oh my god you like him!" Alice screamed.

"Sssshhh…Alice for god sakes! I do not" Rose whispered looking nervously around the café to make sure no one heard.

"Yes you do" I chimed in, "Rose, Edward caught the two of you in bed…asleep…spooning!"

"DID NOT!" Rose screamed horrified.

"Did too and he has a photo to prove it" Rose went white

"You don't think he is going to…well…show people, do you?" Rose would be more horrified that people might see her spooning than if they were nude photos.

"Do you think he likes me?" This elicited yet another squeal as well as clapping from Alice.

"He totally likes you!" Alice replied. A huge smile lit up Rose's face.

"I never thought I'd see the day that…"

"Give it a rest Swan, your turn…spill" Rose said cutting me off. Oh shit where to start.

"Ok…well as you know Edward and I have been getting along very well during bio and what not. Well anyway at the party I was getting my B on and dancing with some bloke, and I was like 'dancing' dancing, then we went up stairs and started kissing, anyway Edward must have seen it and didn't like it and grabbed me and dragged me to his room…" I explained the rest of the next few days to the girls, they didn't interrupt me once.

"That shit is fucked up." Was all that Rose said. Alice was deep in thought.

"So what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to break up with Jacob?"

"What! No, I have only just met Edward and yes I am extremely attracted to him, but I barely know him. Jacob is my best friend, I love him, I'm not just going to throw that away."

"But Bella…"

"But Bella nothing, we had better go we are going to be late."

We drove to school again in silence I could feel a million questions all bottled up inside Alice, yet for some reason she didn't ask a single one, that slightly worried me Alice was one of the most inquisitive or should I say nosey, people I know.

I walked to my locker and saw a sight that I had become accustomed to over the past week, however today it was slightly different, this time it was Jacob standing at my locker talking to Rose. Rose and Jake had always had a strange relationship, they didn't hate each other but they weren't overly nice to each other either, generally they just make fun of each other…a lot!

"I tell you what Black when you see Laurens face today you better thank fuckin god that I didn't do that to your ugly mug!"

"I guess your just happy coz now you won't be the ugliest girl in school anymore" then in something that I didn't expect, Rose lunged forward and hugged him.

"Good to have you back Black, I've missed your big ass!"

"Good to be back Hale, believe it or not I have actually missed you too."

"Hey babe, what's going on here? You two showing each other affection...you feeling alright?" I asked as I placed my hand on their foreheads as if checking their temperature.

"Morning princess!" Jake picked me up and kissed me. "So bio first up hey!"

Rosalie burst into laughter, earning a kick in the shin from Alice. "Interesting" Rose mumbled as she walked off to class. I gathered my books and led Jake to the bio room. Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulder, claiming me as his as we walked the corridors. He said hi to a few of his classmates, high fiving others as they told him it was good to have him back. We entered the room and I saw Edward sitting in his usual seat, Jacob didn't fail to notice him either. "You have got to be fucking kidding me" I heard Jake curse under his breath.

I turned to face Jake and stood on my tip toes to whisper into his ear. "Babe, last week I asked Edward to be my lab partner, now the thing is that we have to have to same partners for the entire year. I'm sorry."

"Bells babe its cool, don't stress I trust you, I don't trust him but I do trust you, I will be watching him closely though." I laughed and shook my head, turning and heading to my seat. Edward was understandably avoiding eye contact with me. I sat and Edward pushed the book between us without looking at me. Jake took a spare seat up the front, left vacant by Lauren, I had a feeling she wouldn't be here today. I shifted my chair closer to Edward so that I could talk to him without everyone listening.

"Edward. Listen I'm so, so sorry about yesterday. I never meant to put you in that position, that was unfair and I'm sorry."

"Bella, please you have nothing to apologise for I knew what I was doing." He still didn't look at me, his words were so empty and cold. What happened to Edward, where did he go?

The rest of the class passed with not another single word said, which appeased Jake greatly as he was turning around and looking at us every two minutes. Just before the bell, Mr. McIver announced that we would have another chapter and prac results due tomorrow. Fan-fucking-tastic. I walked to my next class with my escort in tow, I was wondering how long it would be before he let me walk to class on my own. I took my seat next to Emmett.

"Hey baby girl" Em and I knuckled out.

"Hey Em, sooo…how was your weekend?" I asked as I wiggled my eye brows at him.

"Not as eventful as your little Miss Scandalous." I blushed and Emmett pinched my cheeks, he found it highly amusing that I blushed so easily.

"Touché, sorry about Jake, he's not usually like that."

"Its cool butternut pumpkin, if I found my woman in bed with other man I wouldn't be to happy about either. I'd probably bust a cap in his ass." I laughed, two things never ceased to amaze me about Em, first his endless list of nicknames that he had for me and secondly how ghetto fabulous he thinks his is.

"Em, you do know you're white?"

"Don't be a player hater, I don't want no haterade here." I cackled out loud and got a stern talking to from the teacher. The rest class went quickly, all I could think about was how cold Edward was towards me, I guess it was good it would make it easier for me to remain friends with him, nevertheless it still hurt.

Lunch came and Jake was waiting for me at my locker again. We walked hand in hand to our table. Were Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were already sitting. I half expected Jake to want to sit with his friends, instead he shadowed me to the table.

"Emmett, Jasper this is Jake. Jake this is Jasper, Alices boyfriend, and you remember Em." Alice shot me a beaming smile as Jake shook Jasper and Emmett's hand.

"Hey man sorry about yesterday, I kind flipped, I didn't mean to dis you in your own place."

"Don't sweat it bro, no harm done." The boys started chatting and got along like a house on fire as I had expected they would.

"Where's Edward?" I whispered to Rose, she just shrugged. Great!

Lunch was great we all sat around laughing at Em and Jake, by the end of lunch the two of them had a well developed man crush. The rest of school was a drag, however for the first time in my life I wished it went longer, I had CS with Edward after this and I was not looking forward to it. Much to my disgust the final bell rang, I dawdled my way back to my locker. Sure enough there was my shadow, I hadn't told him yet that Edward and I had CS.

"Hey babe, sorry I can't talk Edward will be waiting for me to go to CS." Jake raised a very sceptical eye brow at me.

"We didn't get to choose our CS partner that was pre-determined, Edward and I are reading to kids over at the special school."

"Cool, no worries well give me a call when you get home."

"Ok babe just remember that we have homework due tomorrow for bio."

"Oh great so I guess you will have to do that with him as well"

"Jake please don't be like that."

"Sorry babe, I love you." Jake bent down and placed a quick kiss on my lips

"Speak to you later." I walked to the carpark and saw Edward sitting in his car waiting. I hurried over and jumped in the car.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"Its fine" Still no eye contact. This was going to be one long afternoon. I sat watching Edward read to the children, his whole face lit up when he read, and the reaction of the kids when he did different voices was sensational. One little girl took a liking to Edward and sat right beside him resting her head on his knee, it didn't seem to bother him at all. When we had finished reading, Edward and I were packing up the chairs, the same little girl came and tugged on Edwards sleave, he bent down so that she could ask him a question. "Is that your girlfriend?"

For the first time today Edward looked at me and then whispered something in her ear. The little girl giggled and then walked over to me and gestured for me to bend down to her, she whispered in my ear, "he wishes" then she giggled and ran away. I looked up at Edward who was by this time over the other side of the room with his back to me.

As we were leaving, walking down the stairs to the carpark, I decided that enough was enough.

"Edward" he turned to look back at me, in true Bella fashion I tripped and went tumbling forward, Edward caught me but we both tumbled back onto the ground. I was lying completely on top of Edward with our noses touching each other, staring into each others eyes. I could easily see the hurt in his eyes, perhaps this was why he wouldn't look at me, he didn't want to me to see his eyes.

"huh" Edward said while looking into my eyes.

"What?" I asked, I was curious what could possible warrant a response like that.

"You want to know something funny Bella, I have been avoiding looking into your eyes all day because, I didn't want to have to look into them and see that you are happy when I am miserable. But your not."

"I'm not what?"

"Happy" With that I abruptly jumped up off him and stormed over to the car. Who does he think he is? I am happy! Son of a bitch telling me when I am and aren't happy, he doesn't even fucking know me.

The whole way home I was fuming, I sat there like a five year old with my arms crossed over my chest staring out the window, while Edward laughed quietly beside me. Asshole!

We got to Alice's and I grabbed my bag and stormed up stairs, straight to Edwards room, just like Saturday night we finished the work quickly, I was thankful for that, I grabbed my stuff to leave when Edward grabbed my arm.

"Please stay?"

"Why should I"

"This is why!" Edward stood up and grabbed my face pulling me into him, he placed his lips on mine, the passion in his lips encased my whole body, and nothing in the world mattered more than the feeling of his lips on mine. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, I couldn't break away from him, instead I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and begged for him to deepen the kiss, and he did. My hands ran up his arms into his hair and I grabbed his hair pulling him closer to me, he sighed into my mouth, that sound made me go crazy.

I pushed Edward back towards the bed, he slowly laid down taking me with him without breaking this kiss. I felt something wet on my cheek and it occurred to me that I was crying, I knew what I was doing was so wrong but I couldn't stop it, I wanted so much more. Edward trailed one hand down my back along my spine, the other holding the back of my neck. We were kissing more passionately than I thought possible in a kiss. The kiss said everything I knew I felt but was trying to desperately to ignore.

I broke the kiss struggling for air and rested my forehead on his, I was too afraid to look into his eyes. Edward put both his hands either side of my face and tilted my head to look at me, I shut my eyes, realising that I was still crying. Edward used this thumb to wipe away my tears.

"Bella, tell me you didn't feel what I just felt and I'll leave you alone."

"Edward please don't...I can't." I breathed. I got up without looking at him and left. How could I have done this, I knew this was going to happen but I did it anyway. How could I do this to Jacob, he trusted me! The tears were streaming down my face now. I ran out to my car, jumped inside and leant forward on the steering wheel. When I had calmed down I started the car and drove home. The more I thought about it the angrier I got, I parked the car and then started to slam my head into the steering wheel that's when the door opened and I felt an arm slip under me and one behind my neck, I was cradled inside, as soon as I was laid down on the bed I fell asleep.

I awoke in the middle of the night to see Charlie asleep in the rocking chair in the corner of my room. I got a blanket and put it over him and went back to bed.