WARNING: There is an IH M-rated scene intertwined with an IR M-rated scene at the end of this chapter.


'K-Karin!' Ichigo stuttered, totally panicked to have his little sister walk in on him embracing Rukia. He pulled away sharply from the raven-haired businesswoman to show some respect in front of Karin, but the damage had already been done; Karin had seen him being affectionate with a woman who was not Orihime - if he was going to wriggle out of this one, he would have a tough time doing so. 'What are you doing here?' he asked casually, hoping that some light conversation would gloss over his almost insignificant scandal.

'I was looking for you, actually.' the young girl replied to her brother, her gaze then flying to meet Rukia Kuchiki, who had already composed herself into perfect iciness. Her soft features settled peacefully still, as polished as her impeccable suit and shiny, pointed, stiletto heels. Rukia should have been the image of arrogance, but a humility beneath those strikingly sapphire eyes made Karin's brow quirk in interest. The middle Kurosaki child might have come looking for her brother, but instead she found his little secret.

'This is Rukia.' Ichigo gestured to the petite lady by his side. He noticed Karin staring at her, so he might as well take charge of the introduction before Rukia said something stuck up (though she didn't mean to, she could often come across as spoiled). It probably looked incredibly suspicious and inappropriate for him to be next to a woman of this caliber, so he decided to explain himself before Karin could jump into any conclusions. 'We met recently.'

Well, not too recently, Karin thought snarkily, Since you were about to make out in the middle of a convenience store.

Karin shot her brother an arrogant look that boasted that no, she didn't believe him one bit, and that she'd stay around until he came clean. A long silence ensued, longer than what should have been comfortable. Rukia stood motionless, panicking inside, trying to conjure any excuse. She was usually a fast thinker, but it was hard to weasel her way out of almost kissing the brother of her fiancé... Now she was so thankful that she didn't get to meet the Kurosaki sisters earlier on. This whole situation could have been a billion times worse.

Not to say that it wasn't bad enough as is.

'So...' Karin pressed, unaffected by the thick air surrounding them. 'Did you guys meet off a dating site, or...?'

'The hell?! No!' Ichigo growled. He turned to check in on how Rukia reacted to Karin's implication, and was surprised to see that she was grinning and her eyes were twinkling. A delicate hand came up to cover her mouth when she began laughing softly. The sight of her relaxed and airy encouraged his tense shoulders to unwind as well.

Rukia was breathtaking without her mask of ice.

'She's laughing.' Karin observed, a smile of her own playing on her lips. 'So I guess I'm not far off. Am I right, Rukia-chan?'

Rukia-chan.

Normally, Rukia would have been offended to be referred to so informally. That learned, immediate reaction was a result of being looked down upon for years in the corporate world due to her sex and adopted status within the Kuchiki clan. Rukia's adolescence, especially after Kaien's passing, consisted of an uphill battle to earn respect; what should have been a basic human right was denied to her, but she was an ambitious soul. Unfortunately, all that fighting hardened her. It was difficult for her to open up to people, or to even see people as people. Every human interaction was a test of wit and strength.

It was a nice change to be able to let her guard down for a while.

Why was it so easy around Ichigo?

'We met in person.' Rukia clarified, a fondness (which was not lost on Karin) illuminating her already brilliantly blue eyes. 'We were strangers, but I was attracted to him from the very beginning.'

What am I doing? Rukia thought to herself without much care. She's Shiro's sister. He might show her a picture of me, or talk about me, mention my name...

Except cautious, by-the-book, calculating Rukia no longer gave a shit. For once, she was so over the manipulation and the sneaking around. She wanted to have a normal conversation with another human being about a person she cared about-

She stifled a gasp.

Her gaze met Ichigo's, ambers smouldering with excitement and shock at what she had implied earlier on about how she felt about him as a man. Did she care about this man? Did she look at him as a man, and not as a mark or a boy that was easily manipulated?

Rukia expected an evil villain.

Why is it that she instead found a benevolent hero?

Rukia had done her research on him before their meeting. She knew that he chose to move away from the main Kurosaki household because he didn't want to burden his family with the reminder that he tore them apart, at least from his perspective. Rukia was also aware that he was supporting himself while sending money to his sisters. He was barely making ends meet with his part-time job. Although his employer offered him a pretty generous salary considering the hours he put in, it was still only just enough for him to survive.

But Rukia refused to believe that Ichigo was committing to such a stressful life from the goodness of his own heart. She thought that perhaps he was trying to start anew after Kaien's case closed. It couldn't have possibly been because he was a genuinely caring man...

Rukia was wrong.

She was glad that she was wrong.

'Well, Ichi-nii?' Karin pressed. 'Aren't you gonna say that you liked her too?'

'I didn't think I'd need to say it.' he mumbled, trying not to scream in happiness.

'Anyway...' Rukia tore away from his hot stare and tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. 'I'm actually just on my lunch break. I should get going. It was nice to meet you, Karin-chan.' she winced a little as it was the first time in a long time for her using that honorific. 'I'll be on my way now. See you later, Ichigo.'

With that, Rukia waved the siblings goodbye. She glided out of the store gracefully on her heels effortlessly, like she was walking on water, leaving a trail of sweet-smelling lavender behind her. Long after she was gone, Ichigo was still staring at the path by which she left, somehow hoping that she'd pop back in and he'd be able to enjoy her for longer.

'Ichi-nii.' Karin broke into his daydream. 'What was that? Who is that woman'

He scratched the back of his head anxiously, avoiding his sister's stare. How was he going to explain himself? No matter what angle he approached this from, he still looked like the bad guy. And he did feel like a bad guy. He felt guilty about not telling Rukia about Orihime, but he kept trying to convince himself that Orihime wasn't real. That this was just a temporary arrangement until Yuzu was all better. It wouldn't have to be real if no one knew about it, but this was just wishful thinking on his part.

Besides, he didn't actually think that anything could become of him and Rukia. She was too pure, too good for him.

If she knew about Kaien, she'd probably accept him anyway.

And that in itself was too much of a blessing for him, a forgiveness that he didn't deserve.

But he'd be lying if he said he didn't fantasize about falling in love with her.

'Ichi-nii?'

'Relax, Karin. At the end of the day, I'm still seeing Inoue.'

'But you're not even interested in Orihime-chan.'

'You're right, I... W-Wait, what?!'

'You're not even interested in Orihime-chan.' Karin repeated, stoic in the face of her brother's distress.

'T-That's... You can't really make assumptions like that, Karin.'

'It's not an assumption. It's an observation. Ichi-nii, you were kinda on edge when Orihime-chan came to visit Yuzu. I didn't wanna say it in front of the others, which is why I wanted to see you today... But you don't seem happy in your relationship with her. Then I saw you with Rukia-chan and now I see where all your love went.'

'Karin-'

'I already know, Ichi-nii. I saw you two just now. You like Rukia-chan.'

'Just slow down-'

'You need to get out of your relationship with Orihime-chan if you want to be happy with Rukia-chan.'

'It's not that easy, Karin.' he sighed. 'Besides, shouldn't you be angry with me?'

'Huh?'

'I... I'm not being faithful to Orihime. Shouldn't that make you hate me just a little?'

'Ichi-nii, you're just a normal, teenage guy.' Karin rolled her eyes. 'I expect that from boys your age.'


'Kurosaki-kun!' Orihime beamed when Ichigo entered the ABC Bakery.

'Hey, Inoue.' he cleared his throat, condoms on hand in a plastic bag. 'Sorry I'm late.'

'No worries.' she reassured him in a sweet, singsong voice, but its seductively cheerful quality was lost on him. He forced himself to give her a small smile, but otherwise tense in her presence. She waltzed over to him to plant a kiss on his cheek. He knew what was expected of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a deep kiss. Lithe arms snaked around his neck, bringing him closer to her. So close that it was sickening.

But Ichigo had found respite in his mind's eye.

He imagined that it wasn't Orihime who he was locking lips with. He was desperately recalling Rukia's warmth, softness to retain what was left of his willpower. He needed strength to be able to see this through to the end. The only way he could do that was to pretend to live out his fantasy of being affectionate with that mysterious, petite woman with the haughty sapphire eyes.

'Kurosaki-kun...' she whispered when they pulled apart from each other. 'I'm going to close the shop early today.'

'Oh... I thought that my shift was from five to eight? I'm supposed to start now.'

'I know, but I'm just too excited to see you.'

His stomach flipped. 'Excited?'

'Yeah!'

'Why... Why is that?'

'Well, I've just been thinking that you must be getting bored with...' she blushed a mad shade of red. 'With how we make love.'

His visage paled. Dread coursed through his veins, nearly paralyzing his heart, but there was no way he could show weakness now. If he did it, she'd just take the opportunity to capitalize on his uncertainty and force his hand into something far worse than what she had planned. 'I'm not. I think how we do things is fine.'

'You don't have to lie to me, Kurosaki-kun. I can see that you're not really into it.'

That was nothing to do with how we do things, he thought.

'Besides, I've wanted to experiment too!' she continued. 'So let's close the shop and get right to it...'


Rukia was unable to focus on her work.

She was practically useless in her office. Whenever someone was on the line for her, she spaced out even though she was being told very important information. Of course, she was taking notes as the conversation progressed, but her head was just not in the game. She found herself staring into nothingness, thinking about nothing, but feeling an electrifying mix of guilt and budding affection for a man she should hate.

Why was this happening to her?

Kuchiki corporation officially let its employees go by five o clock, although Rukia was known to stay until the wee hours of the night. As soon as the clock ticked to mark the end of the work day and she knew that her assistants were on their way out, she rushed to her private bathroom and took a long shower. She lost track of time in there, only deciding to leave when her skin was humming unpleasantly with the strain of being under hot water for far too long. When she dressed herself in her cotton robe, she looked at herself in the mirror to see not a woman, but a young girl who was in over her head.

Did she really think that she could avenge Kaien? Did she really think that she could hate another living, breathing human being so much that the possibility of falling in love with him was null? Did she think that she wouldn't feel things-

She shuddered.

She left the bathroom to get back to her desk. Her clothes were on the couch, so she wouldn't have been able to put a fresh suit back on right after the shower anyway. At any rate, she planned to just get changed and head home for another sleepless night of thinking about that orange-haired, hot-headed fool who always managed to strip her resolve. She was supposed to get to the bottom of Kaien's murder, but she couldn't help but want to move on from it rather than dwell on it whenever she was around Ichigo.

She sighed to herself.

She began to undo the sash of her robe, but the ringing of her phone cut her off. The tone was unique to signal that it was Renji from the concierge who was trying to communicate with her. Usually it was because she had a guest, one guest in particular; her older brother, Byakuya. She cursed under her breath. Of course he'd want to visit her when her hair was flat and wet and her suit for tomorrow (which she was just about to change into) hadn't been properly ironed yet. Whatever. There was no use in stalling. Nimble as a rabbit, she hopped to her desk and answered the call. 'Who is it, Renji?'

'Delivery guy.'

She pouted in confusion. 'Delivery? I didn't-'

'He's from the ABC Bakery?'

Rukia stiffened.

Then smiled subconsciously.

'O-Oh!' she feigned recollection. 'T-That's right. Send him right up.'

'I already did. He went straight for the elevator, I couldn't stop-'

Just then, the elevator doors leading to Rukia's office parted to reveal a disheveled Ichigo. Rukia dropped the call and her smile widened. She rushed over to his side, allowing herself to be magnetized to him in the privacy of her own space. He looked tired and agitated, but she thought that it may have been because he just had a long day of work. 'Ichigo, why-'

He didn't even let her speak. He cupped her face and did what he had failed to do earlier; he kissed her deeply, roughly, passionately. The crush of his lips against hers was almost painful, but she didn't mind and neither did he. His heart was beating thunderously against his chest - he thought that she might be able to hear it. Her hands glide up his abdomen to palm his chest, and he moves from her face to intertwine his fingers in her hair.

'Ichigo...' she murmurs between kisses. The sound of his name escape her throat in shaky pleasure jolts something needy within him, but he doesn't believe that she's aware that she has this effect on him. He grudgingly pulls away from her so that they can look into each other's eyes, and he's blown away by the fact that he's perfectly reflected in glassy blue surfaces. Ambers fall down her neck, to her collarbone, to where a peek of cleavage invites him to undress her. She knows what he's looking at and doesn't want to stop him. She whines for him, but he doesn't do anything yet. He's contemplating his next move.

He wants to be gentle with her.

'K-Kurosaki...kun...!' Orihime screamed in intervals as he fucked her. Her hands were tied behind her back, as were her orders to him. He knew it was because she wanted to feel utterly powerless beneath him (it was a turn on for her) but he couldn't quite get over how demeaning this was for the both of them. He felt like he was forcing her into submission, and he didn't like that feeling one bit. He expressed his discomfort earlier on, but she said that he wasn't being a man about this.

Oh, and that he owed her.

She reminded him of that too.

'Why are you here?' Rukia inquires, her fingers curling at the fabric of his clothes as if begging him not to leave. She was unable to shake thoughts of him away throughout the day and now that he was finally back within her grasp in the flesh, she didn't want him to turn his back on her just yet. Shiro had warned her about getting too close to Ichigo, but she didn't care about the consequences right now. Her feelings for Ichigo were unexplained, but powerful, and she would just have to ask for both Shiro and Kaien's forgiveness.

'I wanted to see you.' he answered, a thumb brushing over her lower lip. Without the height-boost of her heels or her intimidating suit, Rukia was even more beautiful than he had ever seen her before. She was looking up at him with such openness, such warmth, that all the anxiety rushing through him on his way here was silenced.

He had just hit a woman and he liked it.

How could he ever look at himself again?

'Harder.' Orihime commanded as he fondled her breasts. He obeyed, squeezing down on her mounds with just a little more pressure. She was evidently dissatisfied. She spoke again in a harsher tone, 'Harder, Kurosaki-kun, harder.'

'I don't want to hurt you.'

'I want you to hurt me.' she whispered in rattled moans. 'Hit me. Kurosaki-kun, hit me, hit me, please hit me-'

'I was thinking about you.' Rukia's whisper is angelic and smooth. She reached up to take Ichigo's face in her hands. She stroked his face and brought him down so that she could kiss him again, softer, sweeter, almost chaste. 'Do you think about me?'

'All the time.' he replied honestly, hands diving down to undo her sash.

His palm stings.

Orihime is satisfied.

She pushes him on his back and slithers to between his legs to take him in her mouth. His thighs jerk, and a hand takes a chunk of her hair to hold her in place. He forces her lower, lower until he feels his length dip down her neck, and lower still. She gags, moans, she's enjoying this treatment because it allows her to believe that he wants her enough to sacrifice his personhood.

Oddly enough, he's beginning to enjoy it.

'No.' Rukia protests, grabbing him by the wrists to halt his movements. She wriggles away from him and when he looks at her again, he's sad to see that she seems unsure of herself.

Ichigo stops, dropping the sash. He's confused, but he doesn't question her. If anything, he expected her to tell him to stop. Perhaps it was a gut feeling. There was something about this woman that made him want to work for her, something about her that let him know that she wasn't going to be easy or all-too-willing.

Maybe it was because she was too good for him.

Maybe she knew that just as well as he did.

'Rukia?'

'Not yet.' she says, tugging at his shirt. 'Can I see you? Can I feel you?'

He doesn't give her a proper answer, but proceeds to take his shirt off.

When they finish, Ichigo scans Orihime's body head-to-toe. He's horrified to see all the bruises, the bite marks, the red, swollen flesh where he's gripped her too hard. He apologizes incessantly, but Orihime laughs his concern off. She gives him a sickeningly languid kiss, and he wishes that he could sink into the ground.

Although he's horrified of what he's done to her, he can't deny that he feels avenged - and that in itself makes it hard for him to look at himself in the mirror again.

Somehow, he winds up laying down on the couch with Rukia on top of him, settled between his legs. Her robe is still on, but the cloth on the shoulders have slacked. He's pulled them down to reveal smooth shoulders and bare breasts. His mouth waters, but she doesn't give him a chance to touch her. She undoes his belt, unzips his pants and his erection is in her hands. Her fingers are shaking around him, and he comments lovingly on her beautiful appearance to encourage her confidence. She blushes, and it almost ends him then and there.

Is this even real? he wonders.

She takes him in her mouth and he lets out a long sigh. She can't take more than a few inches of him in before his tip starts hitting the back of her throat. He wants to reassure that he doesn't need her to take so much of him in, but she does so anyway. He feels his length dip down her throat, and he hisses triumphantly that he's able to wash away the memory of Orihime with a new memory of Rukia.

This was his intention coming here. It was logical for him to be doing this. Orihime made him feel dirty and disgusting, while Rukia relieved him of pain. It only made sense that after such a nasty experience with Orihime that he seek comfort in the caring Rukia. Perhaps Rukia could give him the strength he needed to carry on with his sick arrangement with Orihime for just a while longer.

He's using Rukia to alleviate his suffering, but he doesn't have it in him to be strong enough to overcome temptation. She deserves better, but he needs her, and he can't find it in him to give her up just yet.

Ichi-nii, you're just a normal, teenage guy. I expect that from boys your age.

Ichigo's tired of trying to be holier-than-thou all the time. He's no better than the average scumbag. He was already using Rukia by being intimate with her while not disclosing the fact that he was sleeping with Orihime. If he had made it this far into his lie, he might as well see it through to the end.

He was supposed to tell her the truth at some point, but he didn't think that he could handle baring himself like that. He's revolting. He can't imagine anyone accepting him fro all his loose screws.

Not only was he a murderer, but he was now a liar and a violent man.

He hates himself.

He's numb.

He just wants to feel good again, and he feels best when he's with Rukia.

So for now, he just wants to find relief in her.

But by lying to her?

'Rukia...' he groans in approval, but his hands find their way to her shoulders to lightly push her off. 'Rukia, wait.'

She release him from her mouth and sits up, completely red in the face and breathing hard. He can't find it in himself to look at her properly. He turns his head to the side and pulls his pants back on, clearing his throat awkwardly as he does so.

'Ichigo?' she breathes. 'What's wrong?'

'I'm sorry.' he stands up and rubs his face. His back is turned to her and it hurts her, but he can't tell. All he can think about is not wanting to lie to her or lead her on or make her believe that he's an honourable man because he really is not. If she was going to be with him, she had a right to know that he was absolutely horrible. 'I have to tell you something, Rukia.'

She steels herself. 'What is it?'

He hates himself.

He faces her. 'Listen to me.'

She should hate him too.

'Rukia, I want you to know that I like you. I don't like her, she's, she's-'

'O-Oh, no, no-'

'She's nothing like you. She doesn't make me feel things that you make me feel, you're special-'

'Stop talking, stop-'

'Things with her will end and when they do, I want you-'

'Ichigo, stop talking!'

He obeys.

A few tears escape her, but she quickly wipes them away.


A/N: Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to RukiYuki, jobananasan, shirayukideathberry, blissbeat, NieveDrop, Kidzin, IchiRuki 4vr, and the Guest reviewers!

jobananasan, no worries, I'm just so happy that you bothered checking in on my stories! I've also taken your suggestion into consideration, so from now on, there will be warnings at the beginning of the chapter about any mature IchiHime scenes.

shirayukideathberry, Ichigo will not be like Rukia in Am I Doing This Right?! They are two separate transformations, different underlying themes, and will lead to different outcomes.

NieveDrop, you'll absolutely see more of that dynamic! I want to try something different with their relationship in this story.

Kidzin, he is, and I don't think he fully realizes that yet.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!