Chapter 9 - Adjustments
Möbius Loop Four: Abandoned Dalek Cruiser
It had been an old Dalek battlecruiser, back in the day, but there were no Daleks aboard it now. They were long dead and gone and the battlecruiser was now a floating hulk. It remained in surprisingly good condition, considering how long it had been abandoned. The flattened disk with its bubbled under surface was dark and pitted.
The scavenging Vridia had occupied the vessel for some years, working hard to decipher the secrets that had been left there, and had had some success. They kept discovering just enough for them to recognize that they were trapped in a Loop, mere moments before the reset would come and wipe that knowledge from them.
Now, after countless hundreds of resets, something had entered the Loop, and their recognition of their predicament came months earlier than it otherwise would have. Too late, though, to save them from the silvery wasps and beetles that descended upon them from the nearby glowing portal.
Those Dalek weapons that they had been able to bring online and fire, tore gaping holes in the endless clouds, but they just kept coming.
With every port and airlock sealed, the Vridia settled in to wait, confident that even the pincers of the biggest beetles couldn't penetrate the tough Dalekenium skin of the battle cruiser. The wasps stung and the beetles scratched and bit, and it made no difference at all.
Then the locusts came.
They flew in on delicate wings, more pewter coloured than the bright silver wasps, shinier than the rather dull beetles, adding a new shade to the silvery-grey cloud. They settled on the battle cruiser like dewdrops, and their tough little pedipalps cut through the Dalekenium like a hot knife through butter. Alarms started blaring at once. The Vridia took up hand weapons and prepared for boarders.
The battle lasted fourteen minutes. The cruiser lasted just under forty-two.
When the Manifold moved on, there was not so much as a speck left to mark where the battle cruiser had once been. Endless trails of locusts were all that marked its passing. By now the size of the swarm was unthinkable, shifting wisps of silver reaching all the way from one end of the Möbius Loop to the other. The locusts took the lead this time, flying to the next Möbius Barrier, and began to chew as space melted around them.
On the other side, in normal space, a tiny point of light formed, glowing faintly, and rapidly began to grow.
Time of Takeover: Two Hours
In the medi-bay, the heat had brought the room temperature up to at least 60 degrees, and Rose could finally feel her fingers and toes again. Her Time Lord biology was incredibly tough, but even it had it's limits and she knew that she had come perilously close to dying out there. She looked over at the Doctor and he reached out, slipping his hand into hers.
"We'll be fine," he told her and she chuckled.
"You always know what I need to hear," she replied and he pulled her into a kiss, his mouth on hers, breathing warmth into the chilled parts of her soul. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back, so profoundly grateful that they were here, alive, and together.
"I love you," he whispered. "You are stars, moons, suns, and planets to me, the breath in my body, and the beat of my hearts." Malla's memory supplied the knowledge that he was reciting an ancient poem of love to her and Rose smiled as she was fed the next lines.
"The sky that arches above me, the world below, all are barren without your touch, your fire lives inside of me, you are my centre, the pillar that makes me stand tall," she answered and he smiled at her, face alight with joy. "That's beautiful, who wrote it?" she asked, since Malla hadn't given her that information.
"No one knows. It was found after the Second Great Time War, stuck between the pages of a field manual, scribbled by some soldier on the battlefield," he explained. "Everyone there had died, so there was no one left to solve the mystery," he sighed and she closed her eyes, thinking of some poor young man, trapped and knowing he was doomed, writing a last message to his true love, before going out to die.
"That's so sad," she murmured and he nodded.
"But that poem has become the way our people have confessed love to each other for millennia now," Koschei told her. He looked at the two of them and smiled and it struck Rose again how different he was now, from how he'd been when she had first seen him. Then he'd been bitter, lost, confused, flailing as he tried to find his footing in a mental landscape that had shifted drastically underneath him. Now, he was calm and certain. If she looked, she imagined that she could see Susan in his centre, the pillar that made him stand tall, even as he supported her, and the Doctor and Rose supported each other.
"That's lovely, though," she agreed. "That his words could live on like that, making people happy for so long." The Doctor kissed her on the temple, and Koschei nodded, reaching for one of the insulated uniforms and starting to skin into it.
Nearby, Adie struggled into the one she had been able to find, while Rose turned to do the same with a slightly larger one. The uniforms were still much too large, but they should be sufficient to get them to their destination. She forced her mind back to the problem at hand, tucking her hair up into a twist on her head. The helmets, at least, had an interior webbing which would make them fit all right on their heads, but her hair was too long for her to leave it hanging.
"Well, we look like a matched set," Adie said and smiled at them. "Ready for Grand Theft TARDIS?"
"Wouldn't be the first time," the Doctor chortled.
"Um... it's my first time," Adie said somewhat sheepishly.
"Not to worry, we're old hands at TARDIS theft!" the Doctor said with a manic grin.
"My first time too, actually," Rose admitted. "Not quite the klepto that those two are!" She teased and the Doctor and Koschei gave her wounded looks.
"Rose, has it ever occurred to you that your husband is leading us into a life of crime?" Adie sighed, looking up at her with a doleful look, but with her eyes dancing with amusement.
"Of course! Why do you think I married him?" Rose told her with a broad grin that was every bit as manic and dangerous as her husband's.
"As long as we are agreed then… after you," said Adie with a smile. Rose was touched by that little stretching of her lips. Adie was so skittish and shy, but slowly, she was seeming to grow easier in their company. She was getting to know them very well, after all, probably more that she wanted to, Rose mused with a small chuckle.
"Allons-y!" the Doctor crowed and led the way to hatch, holding Rose's hand and beaming down on her fondly. She looked up at him, her hearts beating out a joyful cadence.
She was right where she belonged, next to the Doctor.
Devorah-4 was using the buck knife in her hand to carve little wooden horses. She was the oldest amongst them, the original 4, not a copy run off to replace a fallen sister. The younger Mashas held her in a sort of awe, not that she seemed to care. She cared about very little except getting out of the Loops.
Kayla-8 sat next to her, repainting her boots, which had gotten pretty scraped up in the last Loop. She had lugged paint and brushes through every miserable Loop, through snow, ice, jungles, swamps, and deserts, and at each rest-point, she had pulled them out and added new colours, new swirls, to her boots.
Cassidy-9 was sitting by the fire, telling stories to the younger numbers. Her Loop had had a library and she'd had hundreds of years to work her way through all the books. Now she was teaching the illiterate Mashas to read, but mostly she was telling jokes, keeping everyone's spirits up and making them laugh.
Shevia-48 and Madison-17 were using the whetstone to sharpen their blades, bonding over their shared love of bladed weapons.
"Twenty," Jake-77 murmured to Diana-37, as they sat curled against each other and she nodded, looking at her sisters.
"A year and a half," she replied with a certain amount of satisfaction, leaning back in Jake's arms and resting her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear and it scared her.
He was only human, but he was the world to her. Sometimes the knowledge that he was not going to live weighed on her so heavily that she felt like she couldn't breathe. She'd learned a lot in the last year and a half and one thing that she knew with absolute certainty, was that she didn't want to live even a day longer than Jake-77 did.
He was her world and without him, there'd be nothing.
Koschei followed the Doctor and Rose, his face abstracted, and Adie paused to glance at him.
"Are you all right, Koschei?" she asked.
"Yes?" he suggested hesitantly, as though he wasn't quite sure himself. "This is just going to take some adjustment. I thought I had accepted it all when it was purely theoretical, but now... I... think I'm a bit... jealous. Is that stupid?" he asked, sounding a trifle befuddled. He was flushed and moving with a restless energy that startled her a bit and then understanding crashed over her and she just stared at him, trying to comprehend it all.
"Are you saying that Susan found him? She talked him down? And now… they're together?" The words were coming out of her mouth, but she couldn't quite believe it, even as she said it.
"She found him, she talked him down, and now all three of us are... together," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head and turning a bit pink. "The talking him down part was ridiculously easy, I've never had an ounce of willpower where Susan was concerned."
It was a blow against her already fragile psyche, and Adie found herself reeling. She leaned against the wall for support and tried to wrap her mind around it. Despite what everyone had said, she'd never really believed Susan could get to him and... her mind stuttered. What did this mean? They were all three together? Did that mean the Master would what... be staying with them?
So much had happened. Gallifrey was gone, most of the Time Lords were dead, Rassilon, the Tower, the Arkytior, and now, the Master was going to be there, with them all, as one big happy family? The bitterness of that was strangling her.
"I… can't… do this," she managed to choke out. "I'm sorry." She turned and backtracked, stumbling through the ship, blindly, almost mindlessly. Part of her mind reminded her that if Koschei, who had been hit by it all far worse than she had, could accept the change, she should also. It wasn't fair to any of them for her throw a tantrum and it would make Koschei feel worse than he already did.
But all of that was overridden by the knowledge that she was going to be seeing the Master, going to be working with him, and it was just too much at that moment, on top of all she had gone through. Her breath was sticking in her throat and her thoughts were sticking in her head. Her hearts were pounding in fear, every remembered slight and insult rising in her ears. She couldn't see him again, it would hurt too much.
Koschei turned and followed after her with a sigh. He knew that he'd somehow made a mess of things again. His mind was filled with Susan and the Master and the way they were making love, the need, the joy, it was all flowing through him and he had to fight to maintain his equilibrium, the intensity of it was almost too much for him.
"Adie?" he called. "Can I talk to you?" He fought free of their emotional tides, closing himself off as much as he could and striving for calm. Adie was distressed and he had to help her.
"Koschei," she was scrubbing her eyes. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. It's not fair to you for me to just stalk off like that. I know that, I'm so sorry…" She was fighting her tears, but they were still leaking out, even as fast as she was wiping them away.
"Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who should apologize!" he told her. "I muck up everything, all the time, I'm incapable of getting through a conversation without shoving my foot down my throat to the knee cap," he sighed. "I was thrown off-kilter and completely forgot about how it would feel to you. I am really sorry." He leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, sitting in a dejected heap, wondering if he was ever going to learn how to be a decent person.
She sat right next to him, and rested her head on his shoulder.
"You're actually a very comforting person to be around," she told him. "I guess I've just… been in some denial, I suppose. I hadn't even considered that Susan might really pull it off, might be able to get him to side with us. I guess I wasn't brave enough to face the fact that… that he's going to be around us all. And Gallifrey is gone, and Masha-37 went back to the Loops, and it's just been a lot in a very short period of time, but I feel like I should be handling it better." She sniffled, the tears finally trailing off. "I shouldn't be going to pieces. I am so sorry, Koschei."
"Adie," he started and then paused. "I'm not as good as the Doctor at saying things, but I'll try. For Susan and myself, Gallifrey has been gone for nearly a decade. It's been even longer for the Doctor, and Rose never had been there. For you, it's been a few days only. You've not been given time to mourn, or to even really think about it." He shook his head. "You are doing what we're all doing, the best you can with what you've got," Koschei sighed. "How old are you?"
"I was two hundred and eighty-one when I had the Vision. two hundred eighty-eight when the Seers… when Rassilon..." She shook her head and tried again. "When I was removed from the tower and consigned to the Master. We worked on the project for a century and then I spent a century taking care of it, while he was in Stasis."
"So, you have had about two hundred years or so of actually being sane, but are about four hundred biological years, eh? That's not all that much, Adie."
"Yes, that's about right and whether it is much or not, I have been feeling very old lately," she told him, her face reflecting her weariness.
"Yeah, I know about that feeling," he sighed. "So, the point here is, how are we going to handle this?"
"Better than I have so far, I hope," she gave him a slightly watery smile.
"I meant are you going to be able to be in the same room with him, without having the urge to grab a spanner?" he teased gently and she winced a little.
"Sorry," she said automatically, but then said, "Yes. I will… cope and he won't be threatening anyone at that point."
"No, just my sanity," he sighed and twitched, his face flushing a bit. "This is hard, harder than I thought... no, easier than I thought it would be, but also harder in other ways. She's happy and that makes me happy, but I liked being the one that made her happy and in a weird way, I still am, but that doesn't change that I feel... confused, I guess." He sighed. "Talking about myself again, wow, I am still a wanker," he groaned, fighting to keep his mind focused. Susan and the Master were reaching a crescendo of sensation and emotion, wrapping themselves more tightly inside of each other and Koschei was being drawn in as well, his link to Susan connecting him to both of them.
"No, it makes you honest," Adie disagreed, "And if you are a wanker, I am a double wanker, because I have monopolized the conversation so far."
"But the whole point was that I came back her to talk about you..." his words broke off and he closed his mouth with a snap, hands fisting, as he fought not to cry out with them, feeling their climaxes racing through his own body as well. His torment ended finally, as they relaxed, curling up to sleep and he sat there, blushing furiously, and grateful for the insulated suit's bulk
"Let's really just talk about you, right now," he pleaded, needing to think about anything other than how he was feeling just then.
"Um… all right… let's start with… I'm feeling better?" she suggested tentatively, blushing as well, and he closed his eyes against the horrible awkwardness of the situation.
"That's good," he told her, trying to think about it all from her point of view. "Look, if you don't want to see him, we can always keep you two apart somehow."
"That won't be necessary for me. I will cope," she said, mostly to herself, but in a tone that brooked no possible contradiction. "The problem is going to be the others."
"The Mashas," Koschei groaned, feeling a rush of apprehension as he tried to picture that reunion. "Do you think they will be as understanding as Martha was?"
"No chance. On the upside, most of them have very forgiving natures. I think if we can get through the… hm, initial introduction? They might eventually come to accept him. But I will say this: if one of them comes after him, it won't be with a spanner, it will be with something far more potent."
"Right if he can survive the first few weeks, he'll be okay, if not, well, my wife will be utterly devastated. Great." Koschei groaned, trying to figure out how to juggle all the hand-grenades he had in the air.
"That will work in his favour," Adie pointed out and Koschei nodded, as his mind worked through that as well.
"Yeah, it's like a magical power she has, people don't like to hurt her. Did she ever tell you about the Arthur? He wanted to adopt her, make her a Princess of Avalon, the Galahad accepted her favour, even, went into battle for her." He shook his head. "The Queen of Atlantis gave her a crown of pearls, several Emperors of China dote on her, as for just everyday average people, they love her too. I used to not understand it." He laughed softly. "It took me ages to figure it out."
"Oh? What is the secret?" she asked, tilting her head up to look at him in interest.
"It's actually both absurdly simple and really complicated. She really, genuinely cares about people; she feels their pain, their joys, their little sorrows, and wants to give everything she has inside of her to make things better for everyone around her. She'll work herself to death to stop a plague, or save a life, and she doesn't know how to stop trying. That's it. The big secret. She cares when most people don't." He smiled at her. "She even cares enough about a bastard like me, to spend her life putting me back together again."
"From here it looks like it was an awfully good investment," she told him softly and he shook his head.
"I don't know, Adie, I have caused her so damn much pain. I'm just not at all sure that I'm worth it," he admitted. All that she had gone through, the Tower, Rassilon, the War, going back in time to save his life, again and again, those two hundred years of having him in her head, tied to a madman, while he raged and plotted. It wasn't what he had ever wanted for her.
"Did it ever occur to you that you have given her great joy as well?" Adie asked, looking at him with a steady gaze.
"Not enough," he sighed. "But maybe two of us can try to make it up to her." He thought about the Master, how he was willing to die for her. Maybe if they both worked hard, for the next ten centuries or so, they could find a way to balance their debt to her.
"But that is the catch," Adie said and looked at him earnestly. "You can't gauge how she counts the joys against the pain. Only Susan can do that and I think that Susan perceives much more joy than you do. That's her view of reality." He looked at her, those hazel eyes in her heart shaped face, the thin straight nose, the rosebud mouth and pointed chin and he nodded, suddenly knowing who she looked like.
"I'm a bitter, cynical fellow these days, but you're probably right, I guess I know that in my head, but it never seems to sink into my hearts," he told her and the understanding explained everything. Why he liked this child so much, why he felt the same trust in her, the same affection for her as he did for the Doctor. He nodded again and found himself starting to smile.
"You know," Adie mused thoughtfully, "I used to talk to him. When he was in stasis. I can sympathize a bit with Susan's position. I always wanted him to… I don't know… like me. Or at least notice me. He was so cold; I tried to break through that sometimes, but I never could. I guess it just… I don't know, makes me sad. Do you really think she can make that much of a difference to him?"
"She did to me," he pointed out. "Am I anything like him?" he asked with a wry smile.
"No," she admitted. "I was shocked, when I first came, at how different you were."
"That's because I'm really me now and because Susan has been, ever so gently, helping me put myself back together again. Look, I was rebuilt when I was eight. I grew up with all this rubbish in my head. Who I might have been? Well, we'll never know, because I never was allowed to grow up without Rassilon's influence. I've had to fight my way back, to find a moral centre, to be a better man and I did that because, when Susan looks at me, that's who she sees. A better man. So, I become that for her." He cocked his head studying her. "You see?"
"I think I do," she said. "I understand being rebuilt at eight, that's for bloody sure. But it… makes me feel better about watching to see what he does, I suppose." She smiled at him, and it was a genuine smile and it was a bit like catching a glimpse of the sun.
"It actually helps a bit that you understand, Adie, though I'm also sorry that you do," he told her and shook his head. "It's going to take time for him to let down all the walls he's built around himself. I created this vast fortress around my heart, trying not to care, not to feel. Everything always hurt so much and I was driven to do things that, deep down, I didn't like and so I shoved my feelings far away from myself. When they finally all came back to me, I nearly broke. Oh Adie, when he wakes up one day and it's all there in front of him, he's going to fall apart completely. It'll take every one of us to hold him together, to keep him from killing himself. Susan ... Well, I had Susan and even so, it was a near thing several times." He closed his mouth, looking a bit ashamed suddenly.
Adie looked very surprised.
"You really think he will react that strongly?"
"I know he will and not just because it's how I reacted. I can feel him up here," he tapped his head. "It's like watching flood waters pushing at a dam. Eventually, it's going to break."
