Author's Note: I made a few revelations last chapter, concerning both how the history of World As Myth differs from canon, and as to the direction this story will be going in. I fully expected a stronger reaction from readers than usual. I was blown away. I am frankly astonished by how much positive feedback I have received for this fic. I know I gushed as recently as chapter five, but seriously, thank you, everyone. You're the reason I can keep the updates coming weekly.
Disclaimer: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.
World As Myth
Arc Two - Zero Sum Prestige
Chapter Eight: It's Called The Flask Plan…
"Well, you kids have really gone and done it now."
All things considered, the five students that comprised the Student Council held more power than any other student organization enrolled at Hakoniwa Academy. Factor in that the current generation included all three members of Class 13 who attended school and the former chairwoman of the Public Morals Committee, and there were not many people in the academy that held sway over the 98th Student Council Committee.
Their faculty adviser, Messhi Kuguhara, was one of those people.
Though not as intimidating as his predecessor, Shikii Mukueda (a teacher of Japanese history could only be so much compared to a teacher of ethics), Kuguhara still held a level of authority over the Student Council few other members of the faculty could match. With all five members laid up in the infirmary, Kuguhara could even glare down his nose at the towering Hinokage.
"Do you know how much it is going to cost to have the roof repaired? A lot. And until the roof is repaired, there are classrooms throughout the top floor that cannot be used. Not to mention repairs are going to be delayed anyway, because apparently, there are actual guns hidden all over the roof. We've had to close down the entire roof, call in the police to search all of the weapons out, and hire guards from a private security firm to patrol twenty-four seven to make sure no one gets any ideas and decides to go treasure hunting. I think you may have broken the school's emergency budget. What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"Kuguhara-sensei, as president, I take full responsibility."
"Oh? That's very noble of you, Hinokage. It would be even more noble were you to explain what actually happened on the roof."
Hinokage said nothing.
Kuguhara turned his attention to the other four teenagers about the room. "What about you lot then? Anyone feel like sharing? Ezumachi, Yobuko, I know you two aren't addled from medication."
Compared to Koga (a bullet wound to the chest), Hinokage (fractured ulna in both arms, three cracked ribs, and an upper body that was one big bruise), and Medaka (external and internal everything), Ezumachi (a mild concussion) and Yobuko (bruised ribs) had gotten off lightly.
Neither of them said anything.
Kuguhara heaved a tired sigh. "All right, all right. No one is going to rat out their buddies, I get it. You kids should enjoy your youth while you can. That mindset won't get you far once you become an adult. But don't you dare think you're getting away with this. The chairman may forgive you for this debacle, but I won't be forgetting it any time soon. I hope you understand just how lucky you are that we have talent like Aka working in our infirmary, and that one of your fellow students happens to have an accomplished surgeon for a mother. You lot would be in far worse shape right now if the two of them hadn't seen to you. If you won't talk to me, make sure you at least thank Hitoyoshi-sensei." Kuguhara turned his back on the Student Council and exited the infirmary, the slam of the door the first and last visible expression of his displeasure.
All was silent until Kuguhara's footsteps had faded.
"President Hinokage-sempai, I hereby resign as Student Council vice-president."
"Refused."
"Of course. I will— Wait, what?" Medaka spluttered.
"I won't allow you to resign from the Student Council, Medaka-chan." Hinokage did not look at her. "I chose you to be my successor because you were the only student I thought qualified for the job."
"But, but, yesterday—"
"You're obviously not qualified to be the next president. Yet. I'll make you qualified before the academic year ends." Hinokage still did not look at her. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook, Medaka-chan. Resignation is the easy way out. You did something wrong. You're going to make it right." Hinokage turned his head towards the others. "Koga-chan, Ezumachi-san, Yobuko-san. You three went through more yesterday than I should ever have had to ask of you. If any of you want to leave the Student Council after this, you've more than earned the right."
"I still need access to the Student Council office," said Ezumachi. "I'm in the middle of a project. I can't be mucking about trying to find a new place to paint now."
"Eh, I made such a show of leaving the Public Morals Committee, it'd be embarrassing to ask them if I could join the Kendo Club. I think I'll stay too. Besides, someone needs to keep an eye on Ezumachi-kun, or he'll regress," Yobuko quipped.
Ezumachi rolled his eyes.
Hinokage turned his attention to the last person in the room. "And you, Koga-chan?" He listened for it, so he was the only one who heard Medaka suck in her breath.
Koga's gunshot wound had been treated and bandaged up by Aka-san, and then been further treated by one Hitomi Hitoyoshi, a big name surgeon and the freshman Hitoyoshi's mother. Hinokage felt he was going to have to buy Hitoyoshi a puppy or something. It seemed like he owed the freshman a little bit more each day. Koga's bandages were not as extensive as either Hinokage's or Medaka's, but both of them had a constitution that shrugged off grievous wounds at a superhuman rate.
Koga was not like Hinokage and Medaka. Koga was not even like Ezumachi and Yobuko. That point had been driven home hard the previous day.
When Medaka first regained consciousness in the infirmary, she had tried to hug Koga.
Koga had flinched.
Hinokage would remember Medaka's expression at that moment for the rest of his life.
"Koga-chan?" Yobuko prompted, as the silence stretched.
Koga, propped up on an infirmary bed, put her hand to her chest and laid it on her gown over the gunshot wound. "Getting shot … was scary," she said. She did not look up. "Kurokami-san … you were scary."
Ezumachi and Yobuko were focused on Koga. Hinokage glanced at Medaka. Her face was blank, but beneath the bed sheets her hands shook.
"I … I'm not brave. I get scared. But…" Koga raised her head. Her smile was smaller than usual, but it was there. "Kurokami-san … can I stay?"
"Y-Yes. Of course you can stay, General … Koga. Koga." Medaka smiled back. Her eyes were wet.
Hinokage felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips, but fought it down. He was happy for Medaka, but now was not the time to let himself relax. He would not be busting any heads in his current condition. Medaka would not be busting any heads in her current condition. Koga would not be … answering any suggestions in her current condition. That left the Student Council with only its secretary and its treasurer. Not the best combination.
"Medaka-chan, Koga-chan, Ezumachi-san, Yobuko-san." The Student Council turned towards their president. Hinokage sighed. He could not put this off any longer. "I was hoping not to get any of you involved in my problems, but it seems I have no choice. Until last year, I was part of a project within the school. Off the official records. It's called the Flask Plan…"
-ooo-
"Okay, Hitoyoshi-kun, I'll cut right to the chase. Would you like to transfer to Suisou Academy?"
"What? No, no, Chairman. I … why? Have I done something wrong?"
"Not at all! Still, while no one seems to want to tell me the full story, it sounds like something scary happened to you yesterday. You haven't been put off Hakoniwa Academy, have you?"
"No, I like it here, Chairman."
"Good, good, very good. That's good to hear. Suisou Academy may be our sister school, but there's still a mountain of paperwork involved when a student transfers. Thank you, Hitoyoshi-kun! You've spared me a lot of effort."
"Um … you're welcome?"
Zenkichi shifted on the couch, uncomfortable. The chairman's office, aside from being a healthy distance away from everything else in the academy (who had thought putting it at the top of the clock tower was a good idea?), was … eerie. The furniture was comfortable and the decorations were tasteful, but the lights were dimmed just enough to make the shadows play tricks on the eyes, and Zenkichi felt like he was being watched and judged.
By predators.
Big ones.
With very sharp teeth.
"So, Hitoyoshi-kun, no one in the Student Council is willing to tell me what happened on the roof. Neither are your friends Hyuga-kun and Kumagawa-kun. I suppose you don't feel like talking either?"
"…Can't say I do, Chairman. Sorry."
The chairman sighed. "Oh well. I wasn't expecting you to, to be honest. Well, it seems the matter has been resolved, so all's well that ends well, eh?"
Zenkichi thought of the girl with the eye patch, who had shown herself to be the type that did not give up, and who they had not been able to find on the roof. "Right. As you said, Chairman."
"That's what I like to hear!" The chairman laughed. "Anyway, Hitoyoshi-kun, I'm glad to see you're doing all right. You can leave if you want, but I was hoping you could indulge this old man for a little while longer."
The chairman did not look particularly old, thought Zenkichi, but then, his mother looked far, far younger than her actual age. Perhaps the chairman also aged well. "Sure thing, sir. What did you want to talk about?"
"If I may be honest, Hitoyoshi-kun, I was actually hoping to ask a favor of you. I have something of a pet project I'm running here at the school, and I would very much like it if you would consider participating."
"Pet project?" Zenkichi repeated. "I haven't heard anything about that."
"It's exclusive," said the chairman. "So exclusive, I only allow thirteen students to take part at a time."
"Thirteen? Chairman … this doesn't have anything to do with Class 13, does it?"
"You're a smart one, Hitoyoshi-kun! That's right! So exclusive, I usually only allow thirteen junior and senior students from Class 13 to participate." The chairman smiled. It was a friendly smile, in that the chairman had probably read a lot of books on how to look friendly before he came up with it. "But in your case, I'm willing to make an exception."
Zenkichi's mother worked at a hospital. She had drilled into him at an early age that being an exception was very rarely a good thing. "This … project," said Zenkichi. "What is it, exactly?"
"Interested? Well, for starters, it's called the Flask Plan…"
-ooo-
「Start talking, Hanhaba-chan.」
It seemed, thought Shiranui, that she had underestimated the Broadcast Club. Kumagawa had been suspicious of her from the start of course, but she had never thought he would be able to track her down so easily. What on Earth was loli-radar supposed to be? Aso had mastered that strange ability of reflecting the light off her glasses so her eyes could not be seen. Even Kanoya had matured from the arrogant thug he had been at the year's start. His exposure to Hitoyoshi and Kumagawa had taught him that there were other ways to solve a problem aside from the 'hit-it-with-a-blunt-object' approach. Now he was an arrogant thug with options.
Shiranui found herself backed into a corner with these three students surrounding her. None of them looked particularly friendly.
The hallway had emptied of other students at speed. A member of one of the sports club could beat you up, but your body would heal eventually. If the Broadcast Club started spreading rumors about you, your reputation would never recover.
"I see. Are you upset about my absence yesterday, Kumagawa-sempai? I apologize for leaving the Broadcast Club in the lurch, but I doubt a petite girl such as myself would have been much help. Besides, Hitoyoshi-san helped out in my stead, did he not?"
The three students before her shared a look.
"Shiranui-san, we're not here to play games," said Aso. "The captain and I have been part of the same club for the last three years. I know when he is being serious." Aso frowned. "What is going on?"
Kanoya growled deep in his throat. It conveyed more than words could have done.
「Hanhaba-chan, I told you a while ago that if you get a bad reputation as a freshman, you're going to have a hard time making friends for the next three years. Don't you want to enjoy your springtime of youth?」
I was supposed to retire this year, though Shiranui, but the Kurokami Group's troublesome head wanted his troublesome third child looked after by the best of the best.
When the Kurokami Group talked, the Shiranui Village listened.
"Whatever do you mean, Kumagawa-sempai?" said Shiranui. "I have already made a wonderful friend of one of my classmates, and am I not an unofficial member of the Broadcast Club myself?" Her eyes searched three stony faces. "Perhaps not…"
「The last time we had a serious talk with one another, Hanhaba-chan, you told me there was one thing Medaka-chan absolutely could not do, and that in a perfect world, you would not need to involve me or Zenkichi-chan in … whatever it is you're trying to do.」 Kumagawa's smile was bereft of its usual friendliness. 「Well, me and Zenkichi-chan got involved, so I guess we don't live in a perfect world. What is Medaka-chan absolutely not supposed to do?」
"Get involved, Kumagawa-sempai. With the true purpose of this school."
"Please stop being obtuse, Shiranui-san," said Aso. "Just what is the true purpose of this school?"
"It's called the Flask Plan…"
-ooo-
"Genius in a bottle, sir? Sounds too good to be true."
"So what, Hitoyoshi-kun? Two hundred years ago, if you told someone that self-propelled carriages could be available for everyone, they would probably say the same thing. Any advance seems too good to be true when it's new."
When they were new was also when advances were most dangerous. Another lesson from his mother. Zenkichi was not sure what to make of the chairman's offer. Being able to produce genius like a commodity sounded like the first step towards the bad future of a dystopian novel. Yet if anyone could become a genius…
Maybe his father would not have left his mother.
Maybe Kumagawa could finally achieve a win.
Maybe he could have been a better friend to Tsurubami.
"I have to ask, sir, why me? I'm Class 1. No scholarship. I'm pretty sure I'm not an Abnormal."
"Yep, you're not even a Special. A Normal through and through."
"Err … right. Why do you want me to take part?"
"Variety is the spice of life, Hitoyoshi-kun. I think you could you could achieve extraordinary things."
It was the wrong thing for the chairman to say.
Zenkichi's father had loved and left his mother because she had been so extraordinary. Kumagawa had never won anything, but had never given up. Tsurubami had lived his life overshadowed, but had never grown bitter.
Zenkichi had never once thought he needed to be extraordinary.
"I'm sorry, Chairman, but I'll have to refuse. I'm no one amazing. I don't think I can help you." Zenkichi cleared his throat. "If that's all, may I leave?"
"Of course, Hitoyoshi-kun. If that's the way you feel, I'll respect your decision. One last question though."
"Oh?" said Zenkichi.
"Medaka Kurokami. What do you think about her?"
The question caught Zenkichi by surprise. "Kurokami-san? Uh, I don't know. She's pretty amazing I guess."
The chairman chuckled. "Of that, there is no doubt. I was actually referring to Medaka Kurokami the person, though. Ignoring her overwhelming abilities—as best you can—what do you think of her?"
"Can't say I think much of her at all, sir. We're barely acquaintances."
"…I see. That will be all, Hitoyoshi-kun. You may leave. Be careful on the stairs. Oh, and please thank your mother for me on behalf of the academy." Hanten waved Hitoyoshi out of the room, keeping his smile in place until the boy had left and his footsteps had faded into the distance. "So. What did you all think?"
In the blink of an eye, the office was full.
"Can't say I'm impressed, Chairman. For the Foul King's disciple, he doesn't look strong at all!" A tall, dark skinned young man with several piercings and his hair styled in cornrows, dressed in a tight dark shirt and red shorts.
Shigusa Takachiho
Senior: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Hard Wrapping
"Strength need not need be obvious, Takachiho-sempai. He has some hidden ability that allows him to fight skill holders, doesn't he? How intriguing…" An unassuming boy with spiky, light green hair, a thick strand of which hung in front of his face. He was dressed in light green robes, and two dark blue straps covered his eyes, marked with the insignia of Hakoniwa Academy.
Tokemichi Choujabaru
Junior: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Ante Matter
"Hidden superpowers or not, we already have a full rooster, don't we? Why are we making an exception for this guy?" A girl of Japanese nationality, with dark green hair done up in two ponytails and bandages wrapped around her eyes, dressed in the standard girl's uniform of Hakoniwa Academy.
Royal Hirado
Freshman: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Congratulations
"Is that really something you should be saying, Hirado-chan? Freshmen aren't allowed into the Thirteen Party, you know. Technically, we're making an exception for you as well. Well, I skipped grades, so I'm hardly one to talk either." The smallest boy in the room, with messy snow white hair and red eyes, dressed in a white vest with an over-sized zipper at the neck.
Myouri Unzen
Junior: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Monster Child
"Now, now, everyone, we shouldn't let formality get in the way of progress. If the rules say your character's level can't go any higher than ninety-nine, you have to reprogram the game if you want to reach level one hundred. Besides, I think a freshman would be a good addition. We have too many seniors as it is." A smiling boy with waist-length purple hair and two ahoges, dressed in the standard uniform. He leaned heavily on a metal cane.
Maguro Kurokami
Senior: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Magician
"I don't care either way. A king can never have too many servants, but he has no need to pay them any attention." The room's last occupant, a tall boy with spiky yellow hair and a hooked skull necklace around his neck. The collar and sleeves of his uniform were in tatters.
Oudo Miyakonojou
Senior: Class 13
Blood Type: AB
Project Name: Create
Hanten looked over the motley crew that had materialized in his office. "Perhaps senility is finally setting in, but I have the strangest belief the Thirteen Party was comprised of thirteen people. Would any of you care to enlighten me as to why I only see six?"
"Hang on, hang on, let me sit down," Maguro huffed. He hobbled over to the couch and dropped down with a sigh of relief. "Goodness gracious, Chairman, asking me to keep out of sight for that long. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"Are you even physically capable of having a heart attack at this point?" asked Hanten.
"I certainly feel like I am," Maguro groused. "Must you insist in taking your pounds of flesh?"
"As long as your brain still works…"
"Yes, yes," Maguro leaned back in his seat. "I'm exhausted … Takachiho-kun, answer the chairman's question, would you?"
Takachiho gave the Flask Plan supervisor a bemused look, which went ignored by its recipient. "You should already be used to the behavior of the Plus Six, Chairman," said Takachiho. "The newbie is in the labs."
"Still?" asked Hanten.
"It's an obsession," Maguro supplied. "But it's yielding some wonderful data, so I'm not going out of my way to discourage it."
Oudo snorted. "Some nerve, trying to give me orders."
"Oh, I miss you too, Oudo-kun," Maguro purred. "But do try and get along with your new partner. For the science. Anyway, I thought we were called to discuss our newest potential member, not our newest member."
"Very true, Kurokami-kun," said Hanten. "Thoughts?"
"Why are we even discussing this?" Choujabaru asked. "It's your decision, Chairman. The only real question is how you intend to make him participate now that he's refused your first offer."
"You want me to massacre his friends?" asked Unzen. "The Broadcast Club, right? I wouldn't expect a reaction like that Kurokami girl"—Hanten noticed Maguro's hands tighten around his cane—"on the video you showed us, but if I leave a trail he oughta come running."
"I am sure there will be no need for that, Unzen-kun. Not yet at least." Hanten leaned back in his chair and smiled magnanimously at his subjects. "Stick around the academy for the next few days. We're moving the plan into a new phase. Dismissed. Kurokami-kun, Miyakonojou-kun, one more minute?"
The other four members of the Thirteen Party vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. The remaining three men were left alone in the office.
"Chairman?" Maguro prompted.
"You remember Hitoyoshi, don't you, Kurokami-kun?"
"Of course. At Hakobune Middle School, he was friends with one of my classmates and that boy." Maguro bared his teeth. "Those friends of his treated Kujira-chan very affectionately three years ago, and Medaka-chan very affectionately yesterday. I'll be sure to pay him their dues."
"Excellent! I wouldn't want you going easy on our new test subject. All right, get out, the pair of you."
"Eh?" grunted Oudo. "Why'd you keep me here?"
"Isn't obvious? All those stairs!" Maguro wailed. He held out his arms. "Oudo-kun, you'll carry me down the wall, won't you?"
"A king carries no one."
"Please? I'll share some secrets about your new partner's Abnormality."
"…Fine. Get on my back."
"What? You mean you aren't going to carry me bridal style?"
"Only if you want to be dropped halfway down the tower."
"So cruel, Oudo-kun!"
Hanten remained seated as the two seniors bickered like an old married couple on their way out of his office. When he was sure they were gone, he reached into his jacket and took out his cell phone. He pressed a button, turning off the speaker function, and brought the device to his ear.
"Did you get all that?"
"Oh, yes! What an exciting job it must be to chair Hakoniwa Academy! I almost wish I was there. Almost."
"So you heard Hitoyoshi speak?"
"I did. I thought my heart would stop. 'Can't say I think much of her at all. We're barely acquaintances.' What a thing to say! Whatever happened to, 'Even if I were to be reincarnated, I'll always love Medaka-chan.'? Humans say such heavy things so lightly, Hanten-kun."
"They are a frivolous species, Najimi."
-ooo-
"Ninety-eight percent of the student body probably won't survive?" Yobuko raged. "What kind of school would run something like that? And you're telling us you were a part of it, Hinokage-sempai? How could you?"
Hinokage sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He should have expected this and phrased himself better. Yobuko was the former chairwoman of the Public Morals Committee. Of course she would be outraged. "That was exactly why I was taking part, Yobuko-san. I couldn't stop the Flask Plan. It has been going on since the academy was founded. Possibly longer. Even if I had managed to shut it down, the project would just be restarted after I graduated." Hinokage grimaced. "So I joined the project instead. If there was a way to complete the plan without sacrificing the student body, I would find it."
"But you aren't a member of the Thirteen Party anymore, are you?" asked Ezumachi. If he was at all disturbed to learn the true purpose of his class, he did not show it. "If you had found an alternative method, you wouldn't be sharing this with us. What happened?"
Hinokage sighed. "You all remembered me when I appeared on the roof, but before that, you wouldn't have been able to tell a teacher my name if they asked for it, right?"
Koga had the decency to look embarrassed, Ezumachi looked as disinterested as ever, and Yobuko still looked angry.
"That's my Abnormality. Unknown Hero."
"Unknown Hero?" Koga repeated. "Hinokage-sempai, your Abnormality makes people forget you?"
"Not exactly. My Abnormality is simply brute force. I'm big. I'm strong. I'm so big and so strong, people can't look at me. So they look somewhere else and forget I was ever there." Hinokage sighed. "As far as Abnormalities go, it's not particularly out there, but the side effect was an interesting enough phenomenon that the project supervisor thought it warranted"—Hinokage chuckled—"analysis. To answer your question, Ezumachi-san, I was a member of the Thirteen Party for one year, but my Abnormality was already complete. For a project trying to create Abnormalities, there was not much data I could yield."
"President Hinokage-sempai."
Hinokage turned to Medaka. It was the first time she had spoken since he had explained the Flask Plan. "Yes, Medaka-chan?"
"That girl … attacked us because she wanted to become a member of the Thirteen Party. Why?"
"To honest, I'm not sure. I could have understood it if she was trying to pick a fight with me. I don't know how she found out about the Flask Plan or my part in it, but that would have made sense. If she wanted to join the project early, defeating a former member would be a logical way to go about it. But I don't know why she attacked you, Medaka-chan. You might be my intended successor as Student Council president, but my replacement among the Thirteen Party had been chosen immediately after I was forced out."
"Misinformation."
Hinokage and Medaka looked up.
Yobuko still looked angry, but her rage had focused itself. "As you said, Hinokage-sempai, there should not have been any way for a girl outside of the academy to learn about the Flask Plan. I was a Student Committee chairwoman, and I didn't know about the Flask Plan. Someone on the inside must have been feeding her information. Inaccurate information."
"You … you mean someone was misleading that girl so she would attack … the Student Council? Attack Kurokami-san?" asked Koga.
Yobuko nodded. "I don't know why that girl wanted to join the Thirteen Party, but it hardly matters. What does matter is finding out who was pulling her strings. Hinokage-sempai, can you think of anyone from the Flask Plan who would want Kurokami-chan," Yobuko paused to find the right word, "disabled?"
Hinokage shook his head. "The Thirteen Party has some nasty characters among its rooster, but I can't think of any of them being interested in Medaka-chan. Well, there is one … but he wouldn't want Medaka-chan hurt," Hinokage said hurriedly.
Medaka's eyes narrowed. "Who?" she asked.
Hinokage looked uncomfortable. "Well…"
「Hey, Student Council! The Broadcast Club is coming in! If any of the girls are indecent, we're still coming in!」 Kumagawa flung the infirmary door open wide with total lack of courtesy. 「What? I just burst in with no warning! Why is no one in the middle of getting dressed?」
"Kumagawa-sempai, are you looking to have your other wrist broken?"
「Wah! So scary, Fude-chan! But, seeing Fude-chan's angry face is also a treat…」
"Ignore him," said Kanoya. He pushed his way past Kumagawa with uncharacteristic seriousness. His gaze ran over Medaka and Koga. He snorted. "You two look like shit."
"Kanoya-sempai, that is no way to speak to a lady," said Shiranui from her place pinned beneath his arm. "By the way, if you could put me down now, I promise I will not try to escape again."
"I'm sorry, Shiranui-san, but after that disappearing-reappearing act in the hallway, you'll just have to put up with it." Aso brought up the rear of the Broadcast Club and shut the infirmary door behind her.
"Kumagawa-kun," said Hinokage. As usual, the Broadcast Club and their captain had barged in and thrown everyone else off balance. They had also saved him from having to tell Medaka about her elder brother. Perhaps the captain's antics were not as random as they appeared. "What are you doing here?"
「Why, Mister President, we're here to explain away all your questions and solve the mystery!」
"Like the Shōnen Tantei-dan?"
「Eh, I'm more fond of Shōnen Jump than Shōnen Sunday, but whatever. Hanhaba-chan, start sharing.」
All eyes turned to the blue haired girl trapped beneath Kanoya's arm.
"Seems I don't have a choice. Very well. Kurokami-san, you remember when I brought up the unused pool, do you not?"
-ooo-
This was a nightmare. This was his worst nightmare. This was, in fact, worse than his worst nightmare, because this was Zenkichi Hitoyoshi's worst nightmare brought to life.
His mother stood in the Judo Hall and chatted with Jounan and Nabeshima. The captain caught sight of Zenkichi, and with a smile that promised much in the way of blackmail by embarrassing childhood stories, waved for Zenkichi to come and join them.
With a heavy heart, Zenkichi trudged over. Kumagawa may have known him since he was two, but at least in the Judo Club, he had made friends with people who did not know his every humiliation. Now it was over. It was all over. His last safe haven within the academy was gone. Zenkichi wondered if the chairman's offer of transfer to Suisou Academy was still open.
"Nya~ hey there, Hitoyoshi-kun," Nabeshima purred. "Jounan-kun and I were just talking with your mother here."
If anyone were to see Hitomi Hitoyoshi and Zenkichi Hitoyoshi together, it would be immediately apparent the two were related. They both had the same strawberry-blond hair, the same blue eyes, and the same high eyebrows. What would not be immediately apparent was that the two were mother and son. Most would assume they were younger sister and older brother.
Hitomi wore a yellow dress and a lab coat, with her hair tied up in a ponytail by a red ribbon. An adult's clothing. She also wore a backpack and roller shoes. Not exactly adult's clothing, but still okay. The problem was, Hitomi was very petite—Shiranui had weaned Zenkichi off the descriptor short—so petite in fact, her head only reached midway up Zenkichi's chest. Hitomi was forty-two. She looked twelve.
Then there was the way she acted…
"Zenkichi-kun!" cried Hitomi. She bounced to his side and began to fuss over him. "Don't slouch your shoulders why won't you ever comb your hair don't scowl if the wind changes your face will be stuck like that."
Behind his hurricane mother, Zenkichi watched as Nabeshima and Jounan snickered. He had realized several years ago that trying to fight his mother was a wasted effort, but with his club captain and vice-captain right there, he felt he had to say something.
"Mom," he groaned. He batted at her hands as she tried to tidy his fashionably messy hairstyle. "I like my hair like this…"
His complaints were ignored.
"Don't you argue with me, young man. Doesn't your mother know best? Even Kumagawa-kun can at least comb his hair properly."
"Kumagawa-kun?" echoed Jounan. Mother and son paused in their horseplay long enough to give him their attention. "You've known Kumagawa-sempai since he was four, haven't you, Hitoyoshi-sensei? I would have thought you'd call him Misogi-kun."
Hitomi grimaced. "Ah … well, Jounan-kun, if I was to call Kumagawa-kun by his first name, he might interpret that … the wrong way."
"But—"
"Hey, can't you see you're making Hitoyoshi-sensei uncomfortable, Jounan-kun?" Nabeshima smacked Jounan upside the head. "Ignore him, Hitoyoshi-sensei. Please, continue with your story. Hitoyoshi-kun did what with Kumagawa when he was five?"
Zenkichi went cold. He had been five. Kumagawa had been seven. This was a story even Kumagawa did not repeat. Nabeshima could not be allowed to hear the end of it.
"Oh, well," Hitomi started, "they were a mess, let me tell you. Where they got a hold of so much rice pudding I've never found out. Kumagawa-kun can create trouble out of thin air sometimes."
"Mom!' Zenkichi all but yelled. "What are you doing here?"
Hitomi titled her head, the picture of innocence, and looked honestly confused by his question. "What do you mean, Zenkichi-kun? I had to come back to check up on the students I treated yesterday, and while I was here I thought I should see the club you've joined."
"Exactly, Hitoyoshi-kun," said Nabeshima. "What's wrong with a mother being interested in her son's extracurricular activities?" There was hidden meaning behind those words. Zenkichi could see it in Nabeshima's eyes. She must have caught wind of what happened on the roof. He was going to get chewed out later, he was sure of it. Zenkichi was between a rock and a hard place. Keep his mother around and risk embarrassing stories, or send her away and leave himself exposed to Nabeshima's wrath.
Zenkichi glanced at Jounan. Training with the vice-captain had taught Zenkichi to read the warnings in Jounan's eyes. The captain is angry with you. She will get the whole story from you eventually. Tell her before she makes you. Your mother has put her in a good mood.
Decision made. He needed to get rid of his mother.
"Mom, you haven't been to the infirmary yet, right? Kumagawa would have sent me an excited text."
"No, not yet, Zenkichi-kun." Hitomi frowned. "I'll need you to keep an eye on Kumagawa-kun for me, Zenkichi-kun. I've told him to be careful with his wrist, but you know what he's like."
Zenkichi knew exactly what Kumagawa was like. He had no doubt Kumagawa was already using his injury to his advantage.
"Yeah, well, shouldn't you be heading over there? I think the Student Council"—Zenkichi spied Nabeshima's ears twitch—"are being kept for observation, but they'll be let out before long. Besides, Kumagawa must be doing his own thing like always."
"He probably is," Hitomi agreed. She turned to Nabeshima and Jounan. "Sorry, Nabeshima-san, Jounan-kun. We'll have to finish this another time."
"Oh, I'm sure we will," said Nabeshima.
Zenkichi shivered.
"Bye-bye, Zenkichi-kun! Hey, I'll wait for you after clubs end. I'll bring Kumagawa-kun. It's been a while since we've all walked home together."
"Sounds great!" said Zenkichi. He could feel the internal laughter going on behind him. A high school student should not walk home with his mother.
Well, thought Zenkichi, at least things could not get any worse.
The door to the Judo Hall was flung open before Hitomi even got near it. In the entrance stood the eye patch girl from the day before.
"Zenkichi Hitoyoshi! Fight me!"
