Thank you, thank all of you who reacted to the story! It made me to stop doing things for school and write a little bit so I'm not leaving you for too long without any update. I hate myself for this chapter...but there are things that have to be done, so please, try to understand, that I'm not unnecessarily cruel, and keep fingers crossed for Pezberry ;)
"Santana, what are you doing here?" Finn asked totally perplexed by the other girl's presence. Then he noticed, he had no shirt and tried to hide his big upper body with anything. But there was nothing. So he just stood there with his arms covering his lady boobs.
Santana wanted to throw up. She sobered in instant when she'd seen the boy walking out of the bathroom. Now she looked from Finn to Rachel and back again. She couldn't believe it.
Finn decided to break the embarrassing silence.
"If you don't mind, we were in the middle of something, Santana," he said and when Santana looked at him back, she saw him smirking at Rachel.
That was too much.
"In the middle of something? How long have you been here? If it's more than two minutes then I bet it is over for you, Hudson. Even two minutes are too long for you," Santana snapped.
"There is no need to be bitch, now really, can you just leave?" Finn was losing his temper as well.
Santana stood up from the bed. She waited for few seconds, probably waiting for the other girl finally to say something. But Rachel remained silent.
"Okay then, don't worry, I'm leaving. I don't want to barf. I think I already saw too much."
And Santana tripped to the doors. She never looked at Rachel and shut the doors.
She wanted to say or do something more but she was lost. Santana Lopez was out of mean comments.
Damn, no, that is not how it s going to be! Santana Lopez will not lose words just because ogre and hobbit are being...friendly.
Santana couldn't call it sex in her mind. Calling it sex meant that it really happened. Now she could pretend that there was only small contact between Finn and Rachel. He probably came just watching her. Who wouldn't after all? Santana definitely would because that girl is hot. But what if he touched her? What if he was touching her right now? And the worst part – what if she was enjoying it? Moaning his name? No! That was not happening! No one can be turned on by his big clumsy hands. But what if Rachel let him touch her anyway?
Too many thoughts!
There had to be something done to stop these thoughts coming.
Brittany won't help. Santana knew after last experience that Brittany will stop her and speak senses to her mind. But Santana didn't want to be reasonable.
She jumped on one leg to the third door on the floor. She opened it and saw one Cheerio washing her hands.
Thank god, it was a girl...at least.
"Hey, Santana, you're going to pee?" the Cheerio asked.
"Hmmmmm," mumbled Santana and locked the two of them in the bathroom.
"You want me to help you?"
"Yeah, but not as you think."
And Santana didn't think anymore. She knew it was one of the stupidest Cheerios on the team. She won't tell anyone. She – eh, what was her name? Never mind. She won't talk so Santana won't have to face any troubles. That was the most important thing at the moment.
The girl turned away from the sink to ask what she wanted to do then when Santana pushed her against the wall and connected their lips.
But really, what was her name? Something beginning with T? Tina? No, probably not.
The Cheerio reacted in mere seconds and kissed back. Santana approvingly smiled to such obedience and led them to the washing machine. She stopped the kiss and took all of the Cheerio's clothes off.
Maybe her name started with C?
The girl just watched Santana's actions.
What about A? Ehhh, no again…
Santana trailed kisses over the bare torso in front of her and closed her eyes. She saw immediately the petite body instead of Cheerio's. She kissed the belly and knew where the petite girl's cute freckles would be. She kissed these spots as if the petite girl was there instead of the Cheerio.
Then Santana stood up and opened her eyes. The image of the smaller girl was gone when she saw the Cheerio. But she had to get the image of the smaller girl back. She closed her eyes again and sank her teeth in the Cheerio's neck and sucked.
She positioned her fingers at that spot. The Cheerio was already moaning wildly. And Santana thrust her fingers inside the warmth waiting for her. She slammed them inside again with more force. And again.
"Santana, Santana, Santana." The Cheerio was moaning her name with every thrust.
But Santana heard different voice in her head. She slammed more and more when she felt the trembling body under her and she knew in instant, she accomplished her mission.
She was breathing heavily against the other girl's neck and had her eyes still closed when she let out a whisper.
"Rachel."
The Cheerio looked at Santana and smiled because she didn't get the meaning of calling her wrong name.
"No, Santana, it's not Rachel." And she probably mentioned her real name but Santana didn't listen to her.
Santana was met with the reality at last. The girl under her wasn't the petite girl she had been trying to imagine all the time.
And her view became blur again. She took few steps back when she hit the other wall. She sat on the floor and hid her head in her hands.
She waited for the click of the door and when she heard it, she knew, she was eventually alone.
Was it an hour? Two hours? Or three? Santana didn't know for how long she had been in the bathroom. She still had her face hidden in her hands. She wasn't crying. She just sat there alone with her thoughts.
She ignored the knock on the door but then she heard the door open and felt a pair of strong arms lifting her up.
"Where have you been, Sanny? I was worried about you. C'mon, time to go home," said Brittany and lifted the other girl from the floor without much effort.
It was morning already and Brittany was sober since she only drank that one drink from Santana. She drove them to Santana's house and when they were both in the bed, Brittany kissed her best friend's cheek.
"Sleep well, Sanny. Hopefully, you will feel better when you wake up."
And both girls drifted off to sleep.
Santana woke up hours later. She was alone in the room so she decided to find her friend. Brittany was waiting for her in the kitchen.
"You're up? Great, sit down, San, I'll give you some soup to make your stomach better," said Brittany and poured some soup in the plate.
When two of them sat at the table, the silence fell on them.
Santana was trying to eat her soup quietly but she knew that her friend's eyes were on her all the time. She didn't want to meet them because they were full of pity and questions, she was sure of that. And another minute of Brittany staring passed.
"Can you, please, stop it?" cried Santana when she couldn't bear it anymore.
She looked up at Brittany and saw the hurt in her eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, Britt. I didn't mean it, you know that. I'm an idiot."
Fortunatelly, Brittany's eyes softened again and Santana let out breath of relief. She had too much shit going on and hurting Brittany and making her angry was the last thing she wanted to do.
"No, you're not an idiot, San. But thank you for your apologize, anyway."
"I know you want me to talk about it. I don't know if I'm able to face it and that is why I'm a bitch…to you. And you are the last person I want to be like that to."
"I know, Sanny, don't worry. Come," answered Brittany and led her friend to the living room. She sat them on the couch and examined her friend.
"So what happened when I was gone?"
Santana tried to avoid Brittany's eyes again but it was lost battle. When she locked her eyes with Brittany's, she only took deep breath and began her story.
She told Brittany about Rachel's first time and losing virginity to her and about the silent break-up. With that she noticed that her voice was trembling.
She gulped and didn't continue.
She wasn't able to retell the previous night when she'd met Rachel and Finn almost naked in the bedroom and she couldn't tell her friend how poorly she'd managed it with one Cheerio then.
"Why couldn't you go with her? San?" Brittany asked with concern. "You know that I wouldn't mind. I want you to be happy. The three of us could go there together."
"I know, Britt-Britt. But…I can't continue this, whatever is between me and Rachel. The school is about to start and I can't…I can't do that."
"What can't you do?"
"You know what…c-come out to school. And I'm sure that Rachel is exactly the type that wants to hold hands in the corridors and make stuff in front of everyone."
Brittany frowned. She was the same type as Rachel.
"Why is it a bad thing?"
Santana realized what she just said. She knew that it was the reason why her friendship with Brittany remained being friendship. She was grateful for having her best friend but that was one thing, these two girls always disagreed on.
"Britt, I see it differently. I don't think that people at school will wave with rainbow flags and cheer for me."
"Why is it that important for you?"
"Because I can't stand it. I don't want people to talk about me behind my back."
"And you think that they don't do it now? It's in people's nature to gossip about anything. They can always find something. If you came out, they would have the best possible reason for gossiping about you. Because the only thing, they could say about you, will be how proudly out you are and that you are so brave facing the world."
Santana thought about it for a moment.
"Britt…"
But Brittany didn't wait for any response. She understood, took Santana in big hug and smiled.
"You see, San? It is not that big deal. Well, it is but there is nothing better than being yourself. Aren't you tired of pretending? Santana, listen to me. Live your life how you deserve. Live it in true! And you'll see that people, who will gossip about you, will be the ones that can't live their lives in true the same as you."
Santana wiped off the tears that dropped on her cheeks.
"Sanny bear, don't cry. You should be happy. You know what? Jump in the car and go to Rachel's! Surprise her and tell her that you were….well, you were you and that this Santana is the past and there is new Santana now. Well, this new Santana has been always here but she was too scared by the old Santana. But new brave Santana will take the lead now and…and…"
"Britt," Santana interupted her friend, "I slept with someone yesterday."
Brittany stopped immediately. Her face expression changed and she looked furious.
"What?"
Santana tried to explain.
"I entered one bedroom yesterday and there were Rachel and Finn and both of them were topless. And I thought that they were…you know."
Brittany only shook her head in disbelief.
"You don't think so? Britt, I saw them! Rachel didn't say anything at all. She knew what I was thinking but she didn't try to tell me that it was not what it looked like. Why didn't she?"
"Because you were an ass to her!" Brittany eventually spoke.
"Yeah, and she dealt with it jumping in the bed with that ogre."
"You don't know that."
"As I said, I saw them. And you should see Finn making me feel like he owned her. What was I supposed to do?" Santana was desperate. It was making sense yesterday in her head. But now with Brittany all her arguments were becoming a mess.
"Who did you sleep with?" asked Brittany. The sadness in her voice was obvious.
"A Cheerio?" answered Santana.
"Who?"
"Ehh, I don't remember her name right now."
"Santana!"
"I'm sorry, you know that I don't like them. They are all bitches."
"And sleeping with one of them and not knowing who, makes you better?"
"Britt, don't make me feel worse."
Brittany let out a breath. She looked at the floor and said:
"San, I'm really disappointed."
It stung. Santana had woken up that day with the hole in her heart but listening to her best friend now was too much.
She was disappointed in herself. But she was used to it. She knew, she was piece of mess. But when Brittany gave up on her? That was too much.
"I understand," whispered Santana, "you can leave, Britt, I won't try to stop you."
"What?" Brittany shrieked in disbelief. "I'm disappointed in what you did…what you did to yourself. But I'm your friend, San. And I'll stand by your side no matter what."
Thank god!
Santana was overwhelmed by Brittany's big heart. Heart that was able to like her. She hugged Brittany and didn't stop for long time since it was the only comfort she could find.
After a while she leaned back on the couch and tried to smile.
"I slept with a girl at least. Isn't it a good thing?" She tried to joke.
Brittany frowned again.
"No, it's not, San."
"Uhh…"
But Brittany's frown changed into grin.
"You suck, Santana, you know it?"
"Yeah."
"But you are right, you didn't try to fuck being gay away at least. You only tried to fuck being in love away."
Santana froze at the word of love. She didn't froze at being gay. And with the funny feeling about herself that she was able make a small step towards self-acceptance, she closed her eyes and slept a little more with Brittany never leaving her side.
The school started and Santana entered the corridors with her classic bitch stare. No one had ever tried to face her when she was like this. She liked it. All people vanished when she approached her locker. Because when she wanted to go to her locker, no one was allowed to be near her. And her stare was clear sign that she wasn't in a mood to change it.
Santana felt satisfied with herself. The things were back to their normal at school and she could hide behind that bitch stare at last.
When she wanted to unlock her locker she spotted a petite girl at the other end of the corridor. Santana's heart shot up to her throat and she couldn't breathe properly. She hadn't seen Rachel since the party. She'd wanted to call her but she couldn't make herself to grab the phone and dial her number.
Her bitch glare changed and she knew that she probably looked more like lost puppy now.
She also saw that tall blonde was approaching her.
Brittany was beaming but when she saw Santana's hurt face expression, she frowned.
She trailed the path where Santana was looking and understood. The petite girl wasn't there alone. A tall guy had his hands on her shoulders and was talking to her smiling from ear to ear.
"You should talk to her, San," Brittany said when she turned back to her friend.
"I should have talked to her…but few days ago because now it is too late, I think."
"There is nothing like too late, San. If she loves you, and I know that she does, there is nothing too late. You can't just stop loving someone over night."
"But when you're hurt?"
"Then you're hurt. But it doesn't mean-"
"Hey, girls," Brittany was interrupted by male's voice.
Both Cheerios looked up and saw Finn and Rachel passing them in the corridor. Finn was grinning like mad but Rachel only smiled towards Brittany.
"Hey," Brittany greeted back.
Santana growled something and only Brittany could hear hidden words of 'go fuck yourself' in that.
When Glee started, Santana was scowling even worse. Finn sat beside Rachel and put his arm on the backrest of Rachel's chair.
Santana wanted to throw his big arm away and claim what she wanted to make hers. She wanted everybody to know that she was the one who took Rachel's virginity. She was the one that Rachel gave herself to. She was the one who Rachel had been fucking senseless last weeks. And she was the one who wanted to have Rachel for herself. She wanted to be exclusive with her. And she wanted to put big stop sign for ogres to put their arms around her girl.
But how to approach Rachel? How to take back what Santana had done? The answer was offered to her without any effort.
She wasn't sure if it was a sign but when Rachel raised her hand and excused herself and headed to bathroom, she didn't wait for anything. She just waved from the door without excusing herself properly and chased the girl.
She opened the door to the bathroom. Rachel was sitting on the sink, arms crossed over her chest. Santana entered the room and wanted to press their bodies against each other and run her hands on every Rachel's curve. But she was stopped when Rachel raised her head.
"What do you want?" she asked and the tone of her voice was harsh.
"Rachel," Santana whispered.
"Oh, so I'm Rachel? I'm still Rachel? I thought you made it clear that when school starts I'll be Berry, hobbit or some other cute name you had for me."
"Don't say that," Santana pleaded.
This was not how she imagined things.
She rather thought that Rachel will embrace her sudden change and that they will be fucking in the stall now.
"Why not? What did you think? That I will be grateful for your greatness when you call me Rachel…'even in the school'?" And she made air quotes with her hands.
"Why are you like that?" asked Santana frustrated by how things went so far.
"And how am I supposed to be? Should I run into your arms and fuck you in the stall when you remember that I exist now?"
Crap, caught!
"No, that's not exactly what I thought," Santana tried to defend herself, "uhm, fucking in the stall is truth but there is…"
"Santana!" Rachel cried out loud. "You are unbelievable!"
Bad move, too much honesty doesn't always work, Santana!
Santana was frustrated and was out of words...again. She decided not to wait another second. She ran to the girl and connected their lips. She didn't want to talk about her being an ass. They both knew that Santana screwed things. So she wanted to stop it and prove something different. That she was the best when acts were talking for her.
But Rachel didn't respond to the kiss. She pushed Santana back and looked her in the eyes.
"You think, you can stalk me all day and I'll let you fuck me again after all that happened?"
Santana averted her gaze feeling ashamed.
She wanted to run away when everything changed in a second.
Rachel jumped off the sink and Santana was pushed against the wall. Rachel pressed her body into hers and began sucking on Santana's neck. She mumbled something while covering every spot with kisses and bites.
"You think, you can punch me in the face with your behaviour and that I'll be waiting for you, Santana?" Rachel breathed in Santana's neck.
Santana didn't respond to that. She was too consumed with the things that Rachel's mouth was doing to her. She stood against the wall and let Rachel have her way with her body.
"You think that coming to me totally drunk, after you had dumped me, was smart? That I will be cheering with happiness that you talk to me in front of people only when you are wasted?"
Rachel moved a little and ran her hand on the inner side of Santana's thigh. She slipped her hand under the Cheerio skirt and passed the rubber band of Santana's panties.
"And you really think that you can come to me after all these things and that I'll be fucking you secretly in the stall?"
At that moment she was almost there. If she moved her fingers a little more, she would touch Santana's hot core.
"No and no, Santana," said Rachel and removed her hand and walked away.
Santana growled with frustration. She was so aroused and it would only take few thrusts and she would surely come.
Rachel was almost at the door when Santana managed to moan at last.
"Rachel, please."
Did it work? Probably not.
But then Santana saw how the other girl stopped, took few steps towards her and crashed their lips once again.
This kiss was different. It didn't felt like revenge. Like 'taste it, this is what you're missing'.
This kiss was sweeter and softer. It felt more like the declaration of love.
When Rachel stopped the kiss she pressed her forehead against Santana's and ran her thumb across her cheek.
"You'll be my death, San," she whispered.
Santana tried to remember this moment. She shut her eyes firmly and opened them only when she felt the absence of the other girl on her skin.
And the glimpse of brown hair was the last thing she saw through the closing doors.
Santana turned to the sink, washed her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She let out deep breath, straightened her skirt and adjusted her hair. Then she left the bathroom as well.
She wasn't as lost as before. She knew that Rachel still cared. She cared about her. Thus Santana had something to work on. And that gave her the warm feeling that soothed her empty insides.
She was kind of happy in her own world.
But she didn't know that the whole scene in the bathroom was overheard by one Cheerio whose name Santana didn't remember. She heard everything while hiding in a stall. And that Cheerio wasn't exactly that much stupid as Santana thought. She put two and two together and understood now why Santana called her Rachel that night. She felt used. And it was in her nature to seek her revenge. She 'accidentally' mentioned her little encounter with Santana the very same day after the practice and the next day the whole school was on fire due to the new gossip that Santana Lopez was gay and was forcing other girls to sleep with her.
If Santana knew what was waiting for her the next day, she probably would never wake up.
Thank you for reading! I hope, I won't find thrown eggs on my windows after writing such messy chapter :)
