and i just ran out of band-aids
Eric had a plan. That was what he did when things didn't go his way – plan. Much as the evidence was stacked against it, Eric was hoping, in that brief moment when he pulled Terrance into him, that the bow-legged teen would forget what everyone said about him and just give in to the tension. After all, Eric was, apparently, hot. Not many people would agree there – though he'd developed the physique of a crew rower, everyone who'd known him since childhood still called him fatass. And evil, and psycho, and dickhead, and… well, fuck-wipe was definitely a new one.
But Terrance didn't. He ran off and ditched class that day, according to Craig, who was pissed that he had no one to steal notes from because of it. And there was no time to talk in Bio to anyone but Leo, who suggested just admitting his feelings and letting the cards fall as they would. But Eric felt like doing that – admitting the depth to which he'd basically stalked Terrance for nearly a year now, trying to figure out the best way to endear himself and failing spectacularly – would just end in problems. The last time he tried to admit something personal about himself, no one took him seriously at all. Eric said he would handle it, but that was just to get Leo off his back about it. Stupid matchmaking weirdo.
…That didn't matter, though. Eric had a plan, he thought, leaning back in his chair, next to his immaculate desk. Everything was stacked and organized impeccably, with a small jar in the corner with little bits of multicolored fabric placed inside. He was fiddling around with his computer, not really registering the status updates on his Facebook. He'd gone through every available other avenue to execute his plan, but it looked like he would actually have to go across the street to see his erstwhile neighbor. Terrance had no Facebook, no Tumblr, no blog, no MySpace, and a cell phone number that Kyle refused to give to him. Eric considered slipping a letter in his mailbox, but there was the potential for his mother to read it. That would be disastrous, even though Terrance's mother seemed fairly even-keel.
No, he was just going to sit at his desk, peering out the nearby window every so often to see if Phillip had actually left Terrance's house. That blonde kid was problematic. Besides the fact that Eric was inhumanly jealous of him, being so close to Terrance and being everything that every girl and gay man (besides Eric) in the world would drool over, there was the infuriating nature of their relationship. They were best friends, the same way Stan and Kyle were, inseparable unless crow-barred apart. They did that show together, they were probably going to do that show until someone saw its genius and picked it up, and Eric was sure that it would be on for a very long time. He was a little biased, but it was the truth. Those two worked, lived, played, and smiled together. Eric wouldn't be surprised if right now, Terrance was laying out everything that happened during the week, and begging Phillip to do something to erase his confusion. Much as Eric wouldn't mind beating Phillip to a pulp, it would definitely not help his cause.
Waiting always turned into a paranoid exercise, Eric thought blankly, playing with a mechanical pencil between his fingers. As a child, Eric confided in his stuffed animals, but all he had left of those were in that jar on his desk. Leo made his own feelings on the matter very clearly, and cheerfully, be known, and the memory of him smiling and congratulating Eric on opening up only made things worse. And Eric confided a little in Kenny, now one of three people on earth to take Eric's sexuality any kind of seriously, but Kenny was a bit concerned about the obsessive nature this was taking, and Terrance's demeanor, and… Kenny was just prone to seeing things that weren't always there.
With no one to talk to now, Eric's mind wandered to the worst possible scenarios. But he could handle those. He smirked. There really wasn't anything Terrance could do about it at this point – Eric was sick of waiting for the waif-like teen with his oversized sweaters and pipe-cleaner legs and dull hazel eyes and tapered fingers and demented mind and weary smile and delicate touch and his lips, oh fuck, how the hell could that little twig of a -?
Phillip walked out of the house, looking pretty normal. He didn't look towards Eric's house at all. Eric stared out his window at the supermodel-esque teenager, who moved down the street and made a turn. Eric got out of his chair and watched Phillip's retreating, shrinking back, leaning against his windowsill for a few seconds before darting out of his room, down the stairs, past his nearly catatonic mother in the kitchen with her tea, and bolted out of his house. She didn't seem to notice the hectic nature of his appearance and disappearance.
It was much colder in the street than it was inside, Eric thought instantly, frowning at the chill. July was coming soon, so he'd have that to look forward to. Until then, this green thermal would have to do. He was just walking across the street, just tying up loose ends, making sure that toothpick of a boy didn't get any ideas other than the ones Eric wanted in his atrophied brain.
Eric strode across the street and right up to Terrance's doorstep, pounding on the door insistently. Shockingly, Terrance opened the door quickly, the look on his face suggesting he expected someone else. His easy grin slid into a disturbed, blank stare once he saw Eric's face. Well, it was better than what Eric expected, which was an immediate door slam. See, he prepared for the worst, and now something middling was happening. Maybe he could deal with this.
"…what are you doing here?" Terrance asked softly, trying to inspect Eric's face.
Eric deliberately kept his emotions even. "We need to talk."
"…yeeeah," Terrance agreed. Again with the middle-road reactions! This one was a little surprising, though. Eric expected more… vitriol. He crossed his arms.
"…no fighting?" Eric asked.
"At this point, I just want to know what the fuck you're thinking." Terrance sounded resigned to the conversation, and his posture was growing more defensive with each passing second.
Eric frowned. "What do you think I'm thinking?"
Terrance stared at him for a few seconds as if he was insane, but quickly averted his eyes and crossed his arms. Yep, still wearing a big oversized sweater, with a button-down beneath it. Yep, still wearing jeans that pointed out how inhumanly scrawny his legs were.
"You're going to hurt me."
Eric stared at him.
Terrance continued. "I mean, I know you aren't… pleasant, and I don't get it, and I don't understand you and we only snipe at each other and all of a sudden you're- " Terrance raised his eyes up to Eric's again, looking wildly uncomfortable. "…I thought you were trying to humiliate me, but now I… I don't even know…"
Eric was used to people thinking badly of him. He prepared for it, and knew what he was going to say to Terrance in response. It didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell for a second, though. Eric couldn't imagine himself hurting Terrance – but that's how he knew he was attracted to the guy in the first place, thin personality or no. Eric's demeanor made things exceedingly difficult, and Terrance's blunt honesty didn't help matters much. Eric stepped a bit closer to him.
"Just wished you'd be less of a hypocrite," Eric admitted.
Terrance visibly frowned. "What about you? You're not out."
"Yes I am."
"…no you… this is the first I've heard of it…"
"Not a whole lot of people believed me."
"I wonder why."
Reality could be crushing sometimes. Eric shoved his hands in his pockets, pointedly looking away from Terrance. "Well, fine. Think what you want about that, I don't care. But." He looked at Terrance again, whose delicate, thin lips were turned into a mild frown. "You are pretty."
"…so you've said." Terrance looked incredibly uncomfortable. Eric smiled a bit, trying to get him to ease up. It definitely wasn't working.
"And you find me attractive?"
"Against my better judgment."
"Then we should go out."
Eric was certain that this would not go as planned, and the way Terrance's eyes widened to the size of saucers indicated as much. His lip began to twitch awkwardly, and he remained surprisingly beautiful despite his composure slipping away rapidly.
"…what?"
"We should –"
"I heard you! Don't say - I mean… are you fucking kidding me here?" Terrace hissed, his voice lowering to a whisper. He put his hands on his hips irritably before continuing. "First of all, before your little stunt at the party, we barely spoke to each other, which is a brilliant foundation for a relationship. Secondly, just because I think you're hot doesn't mean I want to date you! Thirdly, you're Eric fucking Cartman! What do you think the answer's gonna be?"
"Yes," Eric responded.
Terrance continued gaping at him, at a loss for words before he blushed crimson and continued talking, leaning closer to Eric, scowling. "No. Just – how can you even think -?"
Eric grabbed the back of Terrance's head and pushed the skinny boy towards him, stealing his lips again. Terrance fought it for a little bit, but eventually, his eyes closed and his defensive posture dropped, sinking into the kiss. Playing lightly with his hair, Eric pulled away just as it seemed like Terrance might want a little bit more from it, narrowing his eyes and smirking.
"…what now?" Eric asked, spinning a strand of Terrance's hair around his index finger lazily. He felt like he knew the answer – Terrance had a strange glazed-over look on his face, and his cheeks were practically on fire. Terrance didn't say anything for a while, his eyes focused intently on the black socks on his feet.
He finally took in a small little breath. "…but there's nothing here, Eric. You can't become a better person with one kiss."
Eric sighed as well, moving away from Terrance's hair. Damn it. He'd have to take Leo's advice. "Okay then, fine, we'll do things your way."
"…I don't think I –"
"We have all summer to get to know each other. If it works out beyond then, then you'll go out with me."
"I don't –"
"And if it doesn't, then we won't and I'll go back to not talking to you." Eric patted Terrance on the shoulder. "Sound good to you?"
Terrance glanced at Eric's hand for a second before running his fingers through his long hair, evidently thinking, his face flushed. His lip twitched every so often; must be what happened when he thought. Finally closing his eyes, he shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Can I set some ground rules here?" Terrance asked.
"…depends on what they are," Eric asked warily. He was not going to accept any nonsense about open relationships or Phillip-related things or anything too –
"No sex," Terrance said definitively.
"…that's fine." Eric would live.
"…and we don't tell anyone about it," Terrance also said.
"Yes, you can keep hiding in your closet."
This earned Eric a very stern glare. "…and we actually do get to know each other. We talk. We don't just… you know, fuck around."
"…that's fine." Eric nodded, moving his hand away from Terrance's shoulder. "That's all fine. So I assume you'll be free tomorrow."
Terrance paused, maybe realizing the full implications of what he agreed to, but nodded anyways. "Sure."
"My mother will be out of the house. Think of a lot of conversation starters."
"Yessir," Terrance said with an eye roll, beginning to move back into the house. Before he could fully do so, however, Eric pulled on his sweater and kissed him again, lightly this time, before letting go and moving back across the street.
"…so this isn't a joke?" Terrance yelled after him. Eric didn't want to think wishfully, but it sounded like there was a hint of curiosity in his voice, a hint of disbelief. Good disbelief.
"…of course not, Terrance." Eric smiled as he moved onto the sidewalk, turning to look at him one last time. Success. Complete and total success. "See you tomorrow."
.
A/N: Finally! It only took nine chapters (…this thing will go on forever, I apologize), but we finally get to the main plotline of this messy little story. I hope that everyone who's reading is enjoying this!
