Eric was sitting next to Glenn, looking thoroughly miserable. It made me feel bad as I watched them from my place working the new garden. Carl walked over to me and I went back to work. I didn't massively feel like talking, considering that my brother was pretty much disowning me for a while.
"You alright?"
"I feel like that is the most frequently asked questions. Can't you lot think of anything else to ask?" I closed my eyes and sighed, turning back to him, "Sorry."
"Nah, it's all good. I take it Eric still isn't talking to you?"
"Nope. He's finding it hard to come to terms with the idea that his sister is pretty much a murderer, not to mention that I've been keeping the possibility of our dad still being alive from him. Maybe joining you lot was a mistake." I frowned. Carl shook his head.
"He'll come to terms with it, don't worry. It was either you or them."
"I know. But since we left the city everything has been turned upside down and inside out," I spotted the Reeves watching us and scowled, "Your girlfriend's watching." I turned around and returned to working. Daryl was watching us from a distance, not wanting to move much because of his arm, still crankier than usual because of the pain and the fact that he couldn't really do anything except rest. Doctor's orders. In this case, my orders, which probably didn't help matters. Daryl? Take orders from a roughly sixteen year old girl? Right. Like that was going to go down without a hitch.
"She's not my girlfriend."
"She wishes she was." I muttered. Carl shook his head.
"Just because she wishes she was doesn't mean that she is."
"Right, sure. Keep telling yourself that," I cursed myself, "Again, I apologise. I shouldn't be taking things out on you."
'I should be taking it out on the bastards who caused this whole scenario to unravel.'
"Dad wants to talk to us by the looks of things." Carl pointed to Rick. I looked up and sighed.
"It seems like everyone wants to get in on the action today." I threw the shovel to the side and started heading over to Rick, following Carl. I wondered what he wanted. If it was about my dad, then there was nothing more that I could tell him. I didn't really know what he was like anymore, hadn't seen him for so long. Did he know I was alive? Did he know Eric was alive? Did he even care? Did he know about Mum? I darted a look over to Eric, wishing that he would talk to me. As I walked past them, Macy and Trent started murmuring quietly to each other.
"How's your nose?" I called to Trent, grinning when Macy had to hold him back, scowling at me.
"It's no wonder they don't like you, if you insist on stirring up trouble." Carl said.
"They started it." He looked at me incredulously.
"You've changed. You were... nicer when you first came here."
"Heh, you should have seen me when I was a kid. A nicer person you would never have met." I smiled at the memory of young me, so sweet, so innocent. A girl who saw the best in everyone. Maybe there was a way that it had all been a misunderstanding between me and the Reeves. Perhaps now I just saw the worst in everyone. Maybe that was why God seemed to have left me. Rick stood before me and Carl, hands on hips, the way he usually stood.
"We're going out again." He said. I froze.
"What? Why?" I asked, looking at Daryl with worry. He was sitting there so casually. Was he also going? I hoped not. He still needed to rest. Rick noticed this.
"Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. You're coming with us." He said, nodding to me.
"What?! That's an even dumber idea than Daryl going!" Fear rose in my throat. I couldn't go out there! I had too much to lose.
"Why do you want to take her with you?" Carl asked.
"If what you both said is true, then people can recognise you as being related to Jedidiah. We want to find him."
"Why? What good will that do? And what does it matter if people can recognise me as being related to him? We aren't even positive that it is him."
"That's why we're going to find out, and why you're coming with us. Carl, you think she's up to it? You two seem to get along quite well, you know her better than most of us. You've seen her in action."
"So have you! And you beat me every single time!"
"I think she could handle it."
"Do I get no say in this?!" I was starting to panic. Rick looked at me.
"Course you do. I'd like it if you came with us. It could save us from a very sticky situation, and if Carl says you can handle it then I believe him." I didn't answer for a moment, thinking. I couldn't let anything happen to Rick.
"Who else will be going?"
"Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Eugene."
"Not Glenn. Eric needs him, now more than ever." I looked over to Eric and Glenn. Somehow Glenn had managed to make Eric smile. The sight made a small smile play across my face. I knew I had to go, if only to look after Eric. If there was a chance that this JJ guy was our dad, then I needed to know. If it was Dad, then Eric deserved to know him. Rick was frowning.
"We need Glenn with us, he is good in these situations."
"Then we'll take Carl with us instead. I'm the only one you really need with you for this. If it is Dad, then he'll listen to me. Hopefully." Carl followed my eyes and looked at Eric and Glenn. Glenn now had his arm around Eric's shoulder. He seemed to be Eric's fatherly figure, Maggie like his motherly figure. I was just his annoying big sister, one that kept secrets from him. A fine example I was making.
"I'd be happy to go with you, Dad." Carl said, looking back at Rick. For a moment our leader didn't respond.
"Fine. Go get ready. We leave in a couple of hours."
"Right." I walked off, heading home to grab my pack and a couple of weapons.
I sat on my bed, shoving things in my pack. My sleeping bag, a change of clothes, a drink bottle. I paused when I spotted a photo that had fallen under my bed. Slowly I turned it over and looked at it. It was an old photo, creased at the corners. It was just a family portrait, nothing all that special, and yet it meant the world to me. Dad was in uniform, standing with his hand on Mum's shoulder. In Mum's arms sat a young Eric, an old ragged bear hugged to his chest, his thumb in his mouth. A young version of me was standing hugging my dad's leg, hair tied up in pigtails. I sighed, wishing that we could have had one last photo taken, a more recent one, not one from when I was nine. Dad had left just before my tenth birthday if I remembered correctly. I stood up and entered Eric's room, placing the photo on his pillow. He'd find it. If things went south I wanted him to know something about put parents, even if it was just what they looked like.
"Oi! Kid!" Daryl's voice carried up the stairs quite easily. I rolled my eyes and returned to my room long enough to pick up my pack before heading down the stairs.
"Yeah?" I asked, grabbing my knife and slipping it into its sheath on my hip, slipping my dad's old gun into the holster Rick had given me for it. Daryl held up his crossbow and looked at me thoughtfully before holding it and his quiver of arrows out to me. I looked from the crossbow to him, confused.
"Look after it." He grunted.
"You're lending it to me?"
"Yeah, lose it and I'll kill you. Get killed and lose it, I'll just kill you again. Understood?"
"Y-yeah... but why?"
"Does it matter? Just take it and get out of here kid." Hesitantly I reached out and took the crossbow, looking at Daryl as though he was just going to snatch it back.
"Thanks." I said, swinging it on my back with my pack and heading out past Daryl. He grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye.
"Look after yourself out there, OK?" I nodded. Did the rough tough Daryl have a soft spot for me? That would make no sense whatsoever, but at the same time it would explain why he was lending me his crossbow. What had I done to earn this? I wished I knew. He let go of my arm and I walked out the door.
"Ready?" Rick asked as I walked towards the small group. I nodded.
"Yep." He nodded and climbed into the farm ute they had for these kinds of occasions. I threw my pack up on the back and was helped up by Carl. Michonne was in the cab with Rick, Eugene and Maggie on the back with me and Carl. Five people facing who knew how many people, who knew where? We had no clue if we were going to be attacked by JJ's men or not, everything was hanging on me and if they picked up on me looking like him. We started moving and I looked at the retreating buildings of Alexandria. I saw Eric watching as I left, saw Glenn say something to him. He and Maggie had a rather touching farewell before that. I felt kinda bad for Glenn. He was being left with my ten year old brother, who was in a pissy mood because of what I had done. Eric broke into a run, evidently wanting to catch up with the ute. I looked down at Daryl's crossbow, not wanting to see him like this. He had to understand.
"You'll get back to him." Maggie said.
"One can only hope." I said, smiling at her slightly sadly. Eugene and I didn't really know each other. We could recognise each other but we had hardly talked. He nodded to me.
"How did he react when he found out you were coming with us?"
"Don't know. I didn't tell him."
"You didn't tell your own brother that you were leaving?" He looked at me incredulously.
"I don't think that it would have been the best idea. I think I might have hurt him when I told him a couple of certain things."
"He would have understood." Maggie said. I shrugged.
"Guess we'll never know," I turned to Carl, "Who's looking after Judith while you and Rick are out here?"
"Various people I think. Morgan, Glenn, a few others."
"Poor Glenn." I laughed. Maggie smiled.
"He'll live." She said.
"Hopefully." I grinned. Carl bumped against me and I looked at him.
"This is the most at ease you've been in a long time."
"I guess I just needed a break from the Reeves. I'll admit to being worried about leaving Eric with those beasts without me around, though."
"They won't try anything. Not with Daryl around," Maggie said, "They're scared of him."
"So they should be. Daryl's unpredictable and dangerous." Eugene said. I looked down at the crossbow in my lap. It was so out of character of him to even lend the bow to anyone. If you could marry an inanimate object, I swear Daryl would marry either this crossbow or his bike.
"Being scared of something can just make you all the more unpredictable." I muttered.
"Huh?"
"One of the things Dad taught me. Told me stories of how people had acted when he and his army mates had cornered them."
"He sounds like a smart man." Maggie said. I nodded.
"I suppose that just makes him all the more dangerous. Somehow he managed to get here from overseas, from the middle of a war zone. Well, if this guy is him. And he has past experience in this kind of thing."
"So does Dad. We'll be fine." Carl said. I didn't say anything.
Never underestimate your opponent. Do that and you will die. Overkill is better than being killed.
