Chapter 9
Zombie Idols in Space


Calling Rainbow Road a space racetrack wasn't wrong, but perhaps it was more accurate to call it a space shopping mall.

Taking the form of a glass sphere surrounded by metallic architectures, within which one could see a long and winding multi-colored racetrack, Rainbow Road was located in outer space, out of Earth's atmosphere but still within its orbit.

A space shuttle in the form of a Blooper was seen approaching the intergalactic attraction and entered a large steel hatch of one of the architectures surrounding the glass sphere.

Once the shuttle was inside and the hatch had closed, a passage came out from a wall and connected itself to the space shuttle's hatch. From within, the passengers exited the shuttle through the passage as if they were coming out of a plane.

After leaving the passage amd going through a hallway, the passengers arrived at a large room with glass walls on both sides, one side showing the space scenery and the other side showing the racetrack itself.

Needless to say, it was a sight that impressed everyone, but none were as impressed as Franchouhou.

The people who came consisted of not only the racers, but also friends and relatives who were watching them at the stadium that time. The announcers came along as well.

"Welcome to Rainbow Road!" said a voice broadcast that echoed throughout the place.

The zombies were completely left speechless at the grand design of the place. Not only were they having a hard time believing they were in space, they were even having a hard time believing that such a location could exist in space.

"In... Incredible! Am I dreaming?!" said Sakura in awe. In response, Saki helped pinch the red-haired zombie's cheek. The former's makeup was still partially undone, as there was nothing that could be done about it at the moment.

Lily ran over to one side of the glass wall with a look of pure joy and looked at Earth, which was visible from there. "Yuugiri! Look! It's Planet Earth!" he excitedly said to the courtesan, who came over with Ai and Junko to behold the planet.

"So that's how the world looks like! I have previously only seen drawings and models of it. To be able to see the actual thing from up here among the stars... It truly is an indescribable experience!" said Yuugiri, clearly enjoying the view. "Mankind sure has come a long way since my time!"

"I can't believe we're in space!" said Junko in disbelief as she pressed her hands against the glass while looking at Earth. "Something like this would be considered almost science fiction in my time, even if space travel did already happen back then!"

"Even back in our world in its current age, going to space is not something idols have the privilege of, and yet in this world, they've created an entire attactrion for normal citizens to go to!" said Ai in awe. "This... This is completely unreal! Just how advanced is this world's technology?!"

Mario came over and said to them, "Rainbow Road is a group effort created by da collaboration of almost all da countries in da world, each using their best resources. Theez place eez truly an unbelievable masterpiece that everyone should visit at-a least once!"

Wario came over and boasted, "My company even contributed something! After doing so, I told them to make something here in honor of my contribution to things, but all they did was make a lousy toilet plaque..." He then pointed at the restroom doors, which had two plaques next to the entrances. The one pointing at the male restroom was modeled after Wario in a white tuxedo. The one pointing at the female restroom resembled a gender swapped Wario, having no moustache and wearing a frilly, pink dress and a crown.

"All you did was provide them with soap dispensers designed to look like your nose! I think more people were disgusted by it than appreciating it!" Toad said to him.

When she heard this, Junko visualized Wario's noise placed against the wall, and when one pressed it, the soap oozed out from the nostrils in a manner just like liquid booger oozing out. Thinking of it made her shudder in disgust.

There was another broadcast. "While the racetrack and the karts are being prepared, please enjoy your time at the Zero Gravity Mall! Feel free to buy whatever you want! We will let you know when the race is ready to begin!"

The staff members of the place guided the passengers across the room and through a door. They were greeted with an empty room on the other side, and a staff member Toad there held out objects resembling safety pins and said, "Those of you who are wearing skirts, please clip these work safe pins onto them. The next room offers a lot of opportunities for prying eyes to get a peek underneath your skirts, so you'll definitely want to put these on.

Junko and Sakura were both shocked to hear this. Their face turning red, they hurriedly got on of those pins from the Toad and did as he said, even though they didn't know what they were supposed to do. Sakura also got on and put it onto Tae's skirt. Yuugiri got one as well, though unlike the aforementioned two, she didn't become embarrassed at when he heard what the Toad said.

"What is this supposed to do?" Junko asked the Toad.

"These are special safety pins to mask the underside of your skirt with a special hologram that keeps people from seeing your undergarments," he explained. "If they look underneath your skirt, all they will see is a starry sky."

"Really?" said the skeptical white-haired zombie.

"Whoa! It's true! I can lots of stars!" said Saki, who had bent down next to Junko and was looking up her skirt. This caused the latter to shriek and jump away while holding down her skirt. "Relax! What he said is true! I saw nothing but a night sky filled with stars underneath!"

"All right, if all of you are ready, we're entering the mall now!" said the Toad as he pulled a lever on the wall. The hatch before them opened, and everyone floated into the air as a result.

"Wha?! We're flying?!" said Sakura in surprise.

"This is what you call weightlessness, because we're in space!" Lily explained to her.

Everyone floated into the next room, and they were completely blown away by what they saw.

It was a massive and tall room filled with various kinds of shops, selling souveneirs and food products.

Rather than using stairs and escalators to get from place to place, one could simply "fly" around under the effect of weightlessness instead.

BGM: Sky Station 1 (Super Mario Galaxy 2)

"Welcome to Zero Gravity Mall!" a staff member Toad happily said to everyone.

At once, many of the customers flew off happily to tour the place. "Wow! This place is incredible! I can stay here all day!" said Saki as she "swam" through the air happily.

"Me too!" said Lily as he performed various acrobatic flips and spins to travel around.

"Then you have that-a rage-inducing guy to thanks for theez..." said an annoyed Luigi while pointing at Dry Bomber, who was window shopping nearby, with his thumb.

"Go ahead and enjoy to your heart's content!" Mario said to the zombies. "Buy whatever you like, as long as you have da money!"

The zombies floated through the weightless mall, looking around with mouths wide open in awe. There were various shops all over the place, selling things like clothing, toys, accessories, food products, books, and more.

Seeing a toy section filled with plushes, Lily floated over there and picked up a plush of a yellow Luma. "This is so cute!" he squealed as he gave the stuffed toy a huge squeeze.

Ai came across a crane machine containing stuffed dolls of creatures that were unidentifiable to her, though she assumed they were wildlifes of this world. Finding interest in some of the stuffed dolls, she took out a coin to began playing the crane machine.

Yuugiri was window shopping a store selling various kinds of woodwork decorations. Hanging on the store's wall were wooden carvings of celestial bodies such as an angry sun, a smiling moon, and a Starman. She noticed a wooden sculpture of an Eastern dragon with puffy cheeks and circles on certain segments of its body, and she took interest in it.

Floating over the boutique section, Junko picked up a pink dress and admired it. Showing it to Sakura, she asked the latter what she thinks of it. "I think it'll look good on you!" said the latter.

"You can try it out in the dressing room over there," a female Toad clerk told Junko while pointing her hand at a nearby dressing room.

"Try it, Junko! I'm sure you'll love it!" Sakura suggested the white-haired zombie.

"Well, if you say so," said the latter, and then she headed for the dressing room. "It's going to be awkward changing while floating around, isn't it?"

After watching Junko enter the dressing room, Sakura turned her head to the side and noticed Tae floating away on her own towards a drink bar. "Tae! Don't run off on your own!" she cried out the latter before going after her.

Luigi had just bought a drink from the drink vendor when Tae approached him. Turning to face her, he said to her, "You want to eat something?"

"Tae!" said Sakura as she floated over to grab the mindless zombie. "You shouldn't run off without me!"

"You treat her like a pet, don't you? Not saying it in a bad way, mind you..." said Luigi.

"Well, she does behave like a dog. Heheh..." replied Sakura while chuckling a bit.

"Anyway, try out the snacks here!" Luigi told her. "Try out the Chuckola Cola if you're thirsty. Feeling hungry? Try out the Cheesy Drumstick, then! If you want some sweets, then try out the Star Bits!

Meanwhile, Junko had finished changing into the pink dress she was interested in and floated out of the dressing room. She looked around for Sakura, and then the clerk from before floated over to her. "You look great in this dress, miss!" she said to the zombie. "I think it goes well with your unique-looking body coloration!"

"Thank you!" she replied.

"I'm sorry if this is sensitive information, but I can't help but be curious about your appearance..." the clerk asked her. "Do you mind sharing the reason for your unique look?"

"I'm... a zombie..." replied Junko, looking a bit nervous.

The clerk was surprised to hear this and asked if she was serious. The latter assured her that she was serious, so the clerk said, "I never would have thought! You look nothing like how people claim them to look like at all or even on TV! You know, scary, rotting, hideous... You look just like a normal person, and an attractive one that!"

"Thank you...!" said Junko, relieved that the clerk wasn't horrified by the revelation of what she was.

"Is this is your first time here? If so, then I'll give you a special thirty percent discount!" the clerk told her.

"Really? I think I'll take it then!" Junko happily said.

"And by the way, if you left your work safe pin back on your previous clothing, then you'll want to change back fast before someone gets a peek at you from below..." the clerk whispered to her. Hearing this, Junko's face turned red before rushing back into the dressing room at a fast speed.

Elsewhere, Mario was floating around when he saw Saki playing a rail shooter arcade game entitled Yoshi's Wild Safari, so he headed over to her and watched her play. "Enjoying the game?"

The game was about a soldier riding a Yoshi through a battlfield and shooting his enemies with a gun.

"You bet!" she said without taking her eyes off the screen and firing constantly from the machine's built-in gun, called a Super Scope, at the screen. "Man! What graphics! They sure are a huge upgrade from since I died!"

"How long have you been dead?" Mario asked her.

"About twenty years," she replied.

"That's-a very long! You really did missed out a lot-a! Well, hope you enjoy what da future haz to offa!" Mario said to her.

BGM Ends


About forty minutes had passed since arriving at the place, but even in a rather short time, everyone was able to enjoy to his or her fullest.

Close to the top of the place, Sakura, Tae, and Lily were seated on a bench attached to a wall, and they were fastened to it using seat belts so that they wouldn't float away. Tae was eating a large chicken drumstick covered in cheese.

Looking up at the glass dome that clearly displayed the starry space on the other side, Sakura said, "I can't believe that we're actually in space! If we were back in our world, this is a chance we would never get!"

"I really love this world, so much I don't feel like going back!" said Lily happily while holding up the Luma plush he bought.

"We can't stay here forever, not without letting Tatsumi know about this first," Sakura told him. "I have to admit that this place is so fun that I don't feel like going back either, but we really can't..."

Suddenly, there was another broadcast. "The race is ready to start now! May the racers please head into Passage B to get to the garage. Your karts are all over there. Audiences please head to Passage A to get to the audience seats. The race is ready so start now, so please hurry up!"

"There's our cue!" said Sakura as she unfastened her seat belt. "C'mon, let's go!"

The three zombies floated towards Passage B, which was located at the bottom. Passage A was close to it, and the other zombies were floating in front of it. Seeing Sakura, Saki waved at her. "There you are! Ya ready for round two?"

"Not like I can retreat now, so might as well..." said Sakura, not sounding too enthusiastic.

Saki wrapped her arm around her shoulders and said, "Oh, come on! Don't let a single bad performance let you down! Put all your idol energy into this and you'll definitely win big time! But just so you know, I ain't going easy on ya!"

"Look what I bought!" Lily told Yuugiri while showing her the Luma plush.

"How adorable!" said the courtesan with a smile. Holding up a paper bag, she said to him, "I also bought something!"

"What is it?" Lily asked her. He looked into the bag and only saw a box inside it.

"You'll see, though I don't know if you will have interest in it," said Yuugiri.

"Do you find this cute? I caught it in the crane machine!" said Ai proudly while showing Sakura a stuffed toy of a black hairy ball with large eyes and a wide open mouth.

Sakura was a bit freaked out by the toy's appearance, but then remembered that Ai's definition of cute was somewhat questionable. "Yeah, it looks pretty cute.." she said, wanting to sound nice.

Lily handed the Luma plush to Yuugiri and told her to help take care of it. Sakura also told Tae to go with the others to Passage A and watch her race. Mario, Luigi, and Toad showed up, and the former said to them, "Are you ready for the next round?"

"You bet I am!" said Saki while punching her palm.


The audience area consisted of a rectangular room filled with seats, and at the front was a large glass wall with the racetrack visible on the other side. Because the room was situated rather high up into the air, one could get a good glimpse of almost the entirety of the track. Across the glass wall was a piece of glass that served as a see-through TV screen that would display certain areas of the track. As this room had artificial gravity, everyone was on the floor.

Ai, Junko, Yuugiri, and Tae were seated up front. Leaning forward to get a better look at the track, Junko said, "Wow...! That is one long and complicated track!" She noticed several loops and slanted pathways, including a massive tube that was completely vertical like an elevator shaft.

"I'm still amazed that an architecutre like this can exist high up in the heavens," said Yuugiri. "From what I know about back in our world, it's not something that is possible?"

"At least not to this scale," explained Ai. "There are space stations operated by astronauts, who live there for the purpose of studying space. An intergalactic shopping mall and racetrack? That's completely unheard of back in our world... I'm still having hard time believing that this location even exists..."

Two red Koopa Troopas sitting behind them looked at each other, and one of them asked his companion, "What are they talking about?" The latter shrugged in response.

The announcers were inside another room located in a different area, and they could see the entire racetrack through the glass wall before them as well. There was a see-through TV screen in front of them that served the same purpose as the aforementioned one. In addition to that, they also had computers on their desks that showed them all the racers and their current statistics.

One by one, the racers arrived at the racetrack via a bridge leading from the garage to it, and they positioned themselves in front of the starting line. As she was positioning her bike correctly, Saki said in her head, "The ultimate racetrack! I can tell it's going to be a blast already!" She then looked at Dry Bomber and noticed that several other racers were glaring at him. "This time, I'm going to wipe that smug off his face and dethrone him!"

"Ladies and gentlemen!" said the annoucer Toad through a speaker nearby. "We are soon to begin the race of Rainbow Road! I hope you enjoyed shopping at the Zero Gravity Mall earlier! Rainbow Road isn't open the public all the time, so to be able to come here is a rare opportunity that you should cherish!"

"Slight touches have been made to each of your vehicles," said the announcer Lakitu to the racers. "This time, you will be able to carry up to two items at once! Just look at your screens!" The racers looked a the screen on their rides' control panels and saw that there were two empty boxes there rather than one. "Being able to store two items can be a useful strategy! If you're lucky, you may end up getting great item combinations!"

"Due to the length of the racetrack, there will be five rounds rather than seven," added the Toad. "And to make things more exciting, certain areas of the track will rearrange itself after the first person makes a complete lap! That way, you will have a different experience every lap!"

"And that is why I like-a Rainbow Road!" said Mario, sounding excited. "You'll neva know what-a to expect!"

Looking down the edge of the track, Sakura asked with a worried face, "We're so high up... Is falling down an issue?"

"Don't-a worry; staffs will pull you up in time if you fall off," Luigi told her. "Falling happened several times, but nobody ever got hurt. Just drive properly, and you won't fall off. Eet'll be fine!"

Eventually, the flagman Lakitu appeared on the scene on his cloud. "On your mark," he said loudly, "get set... Three, two, one... GO!"

Immediately, all the karts took off as a fast speed, and Sakura was the last to move out. Her friends in the audience area saw this and once again felt embarrassed for her. "Why did she join this in the first place...?" asked Ai.

"There goes the racers!" said the Toad. "Mario is taking the lead this time, with Dry Bomber and Saki closely behind him! Meanwhile, Sakura is in last place!"

"They're getting to the speed zone soon! It's where the pathway forces your kart to travel at max speed! Try your best not to fall off the track while moving that fast!" said the Lakitu.

It didn't take too long for the racers to come across a row of item blocks for them to go through, and not too long after that was the special pathway that greatly boosted the speed of all those traveling on it. Most of the racers got onto that pathway at the same time, so they were huddled rather close to each other as they sped down that area at equally fast speeds, constantly ramming into each other as well.

"Out of the way!" shouted Wario as he kicked Lily in the side of his kart.

"Bully! How can you attack a little kid?!" the latter angrily said to him.

"Anything's fair and square in a race!" Wario said to him. "Plus, age equality! You were asking for it when you entered this race!"

Eventually, the racers got out of the "high speed" zone one by one and came across item boxes again. Toad went through one of the items boxes, and as he had previously stored the item he got from the first row of boxes, he currently had two different items at his disposal: a Starman and a golden mushroom.

Looking at the racers around him, he said, "I hate to sound like a mean person, but..." Then he smiled in a sinister manner. "...see you later, losers!" He used both items at once. Flashing brightly with various colors, Toad tapped the golden mushroom icon on his screen over and over to receive a seemingly endless amount of speed boosts. Combined with the effect of the Starman, he was able to travel at a super fast speed and knocked away everyone in his way. In fact, he surpassed the top three racers up ahead.

"Do you see that?! Toad has managed to surpass everyone else and is currently in first place!" said the announcer Toad.

"He is fortunate to have obtained an awesome item combination!" said the Lakitu while looking at his computer, which showed that Toad was using both the Starman and the golden mushroom.

With each tap of the golden mushroom, Toad cried out "woohoo" happily and eventually approached a ramp. Because of the speed he was going at, he jumped high and far into the air from going off it. There was a sharp turn to the right immediately after the ramp, but due to the speed he was moving at, he was unable to steer in time and ended up flying off the track and falling down. His series of "woohoo" became a long "waaaaaaaa" instead.

Meanwhile, everyone else successfully made a sharp turn the right after jumping off the ramp.

"Remember, folks, too much 'shrooms is bad for you!" said the Lakitu while Toad was being carried back onto the track by another Lakitu using a fishing rod.


TO BE CONTINUED

Liking my interpretation of Rainbow Road? It's not just a space racetrack, but an entire shopping mall located in space, with the kart race serving as its main attraction! And speaking of which, the Rainbow Road design here is made up by me, albeit it takes inspirations from the Mario Kart 8 version in that it is a space station of some kind rather than an unexplained racetrack floating in the sky or space.

Again, there are quite a few references to the Mario franchise here, as shown below:

The Blooper-shaped space shuttle is from Mario Kart 8, found flying around the background of Rainbow Road.

The gender swapped Wario plaque is actually Princess Shokora's ugly form from Wario Land 4.

The work safe pin idea comes from the way Smash Bros. deals with Rosalina's upskirt situation. In that series, if you try looking up Rosalina's skirt, all you can see is a star-filled space.

The wooden accessories for hanging on the walls are the Angry Sun from Super Mario Bros. 3 and the 3-Up Moon that was first seen in Super Mario World. The Starman should be obvious.

The Cheesy Drumstick is a recovery item used by Bowser in the 3DS remake of Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. Chuckola Cola is from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. Star Bits are collectibles in the Mario Galaxy series, used for feeding Lumas and making them transform, which is why I decided to reimagine the former as candies here.

The game Yoshi's Wild Safari is a parody of the SNES game Yoshi's Safari, one of the few games on that console played using the Super Scope.

The dragon sculpture Yuugiri saw is Gobblegut from Mario Galaxy 2, and the stuffed toy Ai got is a Fuzzy.

I got the idea of letting Toad say "See you later, losers!" from the YoutTube video Idiot Karts 101, made by SMG4. It is a comical video where Mario tries to get a driving license and also competes with other people to see who is the better driver, one of them being Toad. At the end, Toad drives off to Resident Evil 2's zombie-filled Raccoon City while saying the aforementioned phrase. Ironic thing in this story is that there are zombies racing alongside him as well...

That should be all. Have you actually noticed any of the references before I mentioned them? I'm trying to reach deep into Mario lore and pull out as many references as I can for fun, so look forward to seeing more!

And remember, too much 'shrooms is bad for you!