I'VE GOT OVER100 REVIEWS! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! * Does Embarrassing Happy Dance Around Computer * In other happy news, I've found a guy on FF! :D (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the AN of the last chapter.)

This chapter is for gngrlvr1. (gngrlv1, if you're reading this I JUST NOW realized that your username is 'gingerlover1' without the vowels XD! I can be such a stupid bitch… I'm a stupid bitch…)

Oh, if anyone cares, I finally started watching Glee starting from season 1 episode 1. I was hoping I'd like it but I didn't. I FRIGGIN' LOVED IT! Okay… on with the chapter.

When the light first touched his face, Sirius dismissed it as unimportant. He was much to busy basking in the bliss of his orgasm. It was only when Bellatrix cleared her throat and said his name very softly that Sirius noticed her standing in the doorway.

'Oh shit…'

The silence was devastating. That was really the only word that described it really. Devastating. Wars were devastating. Car accidents were devastating. And so was the look on Bellatrix's face No matter how bad it was, it was impossible to look away. Sirius was frozen in stunned terror.

"Excuse me, but may I speak with my fiancé for a moment?" Bellatrix hissed, glaring down at Remus.

Remus gulped nervously, temporarily forgetting that Sirius' cock was still in his mouth. A gasp from the black haired man above him reminded Remus of this fact and he quickly withdrew his lips and stood up blushing and keeping his eyes adverted from Bellatrix's.

He cleared his throat and turned to Sirius, before lowering his head again and nearly sprinting back into the living room.

(A/N The rest of the chapter will be in James' point of view. I feel as if I haven't given the Potters enough story time, so they get the rest of this chappie!)

James couldn't help but feel immensely relieved when Sirius' fiancé Bellatrix Lestrange rudely poked his shoulder and demanded him to tell her where Sirius was, which was saying something seeing as James hated Bellatrix ever since she called him a washed up, unemployed, failure of a husband and father when Sirius wasn't around. James never mentioned it to him of course. Sirius always seemed happy with Bellatrix, and what kind of friend would James be if he tried to ruin that?

"I don't know." James shrugged, forgetting to be rude.

"He's in the kitchen." A small voice said from behind James. He spun around and looked down at Sirius' six-year-old brother Regulus. "He was trying to see if he could fix Mr. Kerfluffels, and Remus came in and wanted to have a private talk with him."

"So is he in the kitchen or not?" Bellatrix snapped.

"Wait, who's Remus?" James asked at the same time.

"You met him already." Lily said. "He came in with Rosemerta."

"Oh, you mean shy that kid in the tight jeans?" Lily nodded and James sighed in relief. It would be bad if there was some psychotic stranger in his house. Very bad indeed. "He seemed nice."

"I don't care about this Remus person!" Bellatrix snarled. "I want to know where Sirius is!"

"He's in the kitchen!" James shouted, quickly growing tired of Bellatrix's voice.

Bellatrix looked slightly offended, but left James alone with Lily and Regulus. James scowled. He really did not like Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Why did Sirius bring her?" Lily sighed. She really couldn't understand the workings of her husbands best friends mind sometimes.

"Well, they ARE engaged." James grumbled. "By the way, where's Harry?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Honestly, James, how can you not know where your own son is?"

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"He's being abducted by the girls." Lily said gesturing to where Baby Harry was being coddled by their friends Rosemerta Litani, Alice Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, and Mary MacDonald.

James smiled proudly. "Already a Ladies Man! Just like his Old Man, eh Lily?"

Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Just go rescue him, before his ego gets as swollen as yours. I'd get him myself, but I need to find his Sippy cup. I think that it's in the nursery."

"My ego is not swollen." James muttered. "It is a perfectly normal size."

"Whatever makes you happy, Dear." Lily gave James a peck on his cheek. "Now go save our son."

James wandered over to where Harry was getting cooed over and his cheeks pinched.

"Girls."

"Hi, James." the four women chorused.

"Lily wants her child back. Evidently it's his dinner time." James grinned and winked lewdly at Rosemerta. "But I'm sure you could feed him better than a binky old bottle."

"You know it, Potter." Rosemerta smirked giving a little shimmy, making Harry, who was on her lap, giggle.

"Sirius is rubbing off on you if you if you can joke about something like that." Mary scrunched up her delicate nose. "He's so vulgar."

"But he's also funny." Alice interjected smiling as she bounced her own baby, Neville, on her knee. "I remember all the times he used to make me laugh in University."

"Try working with him." Marlene grumbled. "I honestly think he bones every girl that wants a tattoo. The tattoo room isn't as soundproof as he thinks."

James cleared his throat. "Yes, well... anyway. I need Harry back."

"Awwwwww..." There was a collective sigh of disappointment.

"I wanna baby..." Rosemerta muttered, and handed Harry, who grabbed James' glasses and shrieked in delight, to his father.

"What about that kid you brought with you?" Mary tickled the bottom of Harry's foot, making the baby laugh and wiggle in James' arms. "I thought you adopted him."

"No, I didn't adopt him." Rosemerta rolled her eyes. "He's just living with me for a while."

"Cradle robbing much?" Marlene snickered. The mental image of Rosemerta actually robbing cradles made James clutch Harry tightly to his chest. He really wouldn't put it past Rosemerta. She'd wanted a baby for as long as he'd known her.

"He's gay." Rosemerta said bluntly. "His parents kicked him out, and I wasn't about to let him sleep on the streets!"

"What was his name again?" Alice asked Marlene, handing Neville to Mary. "Romulus?"

"No, I think that it was Remus."

Then, speaking of the Devil, Remus suddenly appeared at Rosemerta's side. "Rosie, can we go now?"

Rosemerta looked surprised. "Now? Remus, we've barely been here for an hour."

Remus looked embarrassed. "I know but… I… I need to get out of here. And fast."

"Why?" Rosemerta asked suspiciously.

Remus blushed, and bent forward to whisper something in Rosemerta's ear. Her eyes widened and she started digging around in her purse for something. Finding it she withdrew her hand and placed her car keys in Remus' hand. "Go wait in the car, yeah? I'll be out in a few minutes."

Remus nearly snatched the keys out of Rosemerta's hand and ran out the door, making hasty apologizes to the people he bumped into.

"What's with him?" James stared at the door with a look of confusion on his face.

"He… he's Lactose Intolerant." Rosemerta looked a little bit guilty. "Yeah, Remus had some of Lily's quiche, which was delicious by the way," Rosemerta smiled quickly at James, "and now he has a bad case of… dyspepsia?"

Alice sighed sympathetically. "Are you sure he's alright? My father had dyspepsia."

Marlene frowned slightly. "Didn't your father die last year?"

Alice shrugged. "He was old."

"Yes, well anyway, he's got some really bad gas, and doesn't want to stink up your party, so I'll see you later James. Tell Lily; thanks for inviting me, and both of you should drop by the café sometime." Rosemerta gave everyone a quick smile and kissed Harry on his chubby cheek before hurrying out the door. James could see the car lights shine through the window and fade away.

"She's leaving already?" Said a voice from behind James and Harry. James turned around and smiled at his wife. "But she just got here!" Lily exclaimed, taking Harry away from James and giving him a red Sippy cup.

"Yeah. Evidently that Remus bloke gets gassy when he eats dairy."

Lily grimaced in sympathy. She too, was Lactose Intolerant. And boy, was it bad… the only reason she had made the quiche in the first place, was that Sirius loved it, and Lily believed that anyone who had to live with Bellatrix Lestrange deserved a bit of Sympathy and a bit of her Mother's Award Winning Mini Quiche.

"BASTARD!"

A mug came flying out of the kitchen and crashed into the wall a few feet from where Regulus was standing by himself by the television.

As the little boy tried to shield himself from flying bits of ceramic mug, Sirius lurched out of the kitchen with a baking sheet in his hands. Another mug went flying out and he used it as a shield for his face.

"Bella! Please, calm down!" Sirius' voice was panicked.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Bellatrix advanced on Sirius with a steak knife in her hand. Her face was sweaty and flushed red. "HOW DARE YOU… HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!"

Alice gently pressed her hands to Neville's small, innocent ears, Mary covered her mouth trying not to giggle, and Marline shut her eyes tightly, not wanting to see her employer being stabbed to death by his evil fiancé with a steak knife.

Sirius backed up, until he was cornered with nowhere to run. He tried talking again. "B- Bella… it wasn't what it looked like. Honest-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Bellatrix threw the knife at Sirius, who held up the cooking sheet just in time. He gaped at the steak knife now embedded in the thin sheet of metal.

Bellatrix began to stalk toward Sirius Like a starving Alley cat would stalk towards an obese mouse with a broken leg. She paused by the snack table, and picked up another knife that was sitting on a plate of cherry pie. Bellatrix looked crazy with her hair wild and untamed, and her shirt still splattered with the red fruit punch, and the pie-smeared knife in her hand didn't help make her sanity seem more intact either.

"Bellatrix! Please, I love you!" Sirius said desperately.

"LIAR!"

Then, suddenly, Frank Longbottom, had his arms wrapped around Bellatrix from behind, constricting her and pressing her arms to her sides. Bellatrix struggled against Frank's strong grip. And then she abruptly stopped, and collapsed into Frank's wide chest, sobbing.

Sirius closed his eyes and sighed, sliding down the wall and closing his eyes.

Well, that's the end of this chapter. Hoped you enjoyed my Crazy and Insane Bellatrix! By the way, I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time on Sunday, and now I can't get the image of Sirius Black singing 'Sweet Transvestite' out of my head… I have a weird imagination.

WAIT BEFORE YOU GO! Guess what day it is on Thursday? No, you silly person, it's not Remus Lupin's birthday! Where on earth did you get that riddikulus idea from? No, it's MY birthday! SWEET SEVENTEEN SUCKAH! I want Sirius and Remus tied up in my closet… and boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. I'm not fussy. ;) But you all can get me some really long Reviews.