Chapter 9: Fathers

The soft beep of Dr. Ormelius' omni-tool shook Garrus from drifting away completely. Focusing on the mental link to Naduz took away a lot of his energy, and he was barely able to stay awake. He was still in the Reaper-constructed thingy, now changed to resemble a bed. Naduz even formed walls around him and the turian doc to give them some privacy while she checked on him. Garrus didn't object. Given what he has been through, it was a reasonable thing to do.

"You're okay, just exhausted. No wonder," she said softly. "Also… don't be alarmed if you feel prickling or numbness spreading a little further from your arm. Your nerves are… shocked by what happened. Take some rest."

He nodded and closed his eyes again. A nap until they get to Palaven wouldn't be such a bad idea at all, but his mind had other ideas. Images from the past appeared before his eyes immediately. Shepard snatching the drawing he made. His squad dying. Sidonis' back as he ran away from him. His father at his mother's grave.

All of these images flew before his eyes at a remarkable speed, even faster than what Naduz just put him through. He had to open his eyes, and found himself face-to-face with the turian doc looming above him. "Dr. Ormelius!" he gasped in surprise.

"Don't worry," she said, somewhat defensively, "I just want to get more scans of your arm's circuits. It will help me reconstruct the missing ones."

"Can we talk while you do it?" Garrus sounded unusually uncertain, but nothing about the situation was usual. "Can't relax. Bad memories."

"I guess," she shrugged. "The omni-tool does most of the job anyway." She freed his arm from the sleeve of the medical gown and fired it up.

"So… Hackie and Circuits are… siblings? Did I get it right?" Garrus started the conversation and was indeed curious about this. The changes that come with synthesis would never cease to surprise him.

"Their personality matrix was created from the same two geth, yes. Makes them siblings in organic terms."

"But they seem quite different…"

She looked away from the omni-tool's display to fix her gaze on Garrus. "Do all children coming from the same organic parents have the same traits, especially when it comes to personality? Not really, not even identical twins." The subharmonics in her voice sounded angry and tired, like she's been through this many times before.

He had to look away. They're like us now, he reminded himself. Again. Will he ever get used to it completely? At least now he didn't have to worry about becoming liquefied. Somehow, knowing that made him feel even worse. The situation they were in was caused by organics, not Reapers or synthetics.

He forced himself to fix his gaze on the doc. Thinking this way won't help him. "So, how did they end up working for the Institute?"

"Their Pilgrimage - you know, geth do it too now. They were both very skilled with technology - Hackie's full name is Hacks-With-Superb-Skill and Circuits' Glow-Of-The-Circuits. I was their mentor. When they earned their names, they decided not to return to Rannoch but to stay here and study synthesis."

"Glow-Of-The-Circuits?" Garrus realized that his mandibles were quivering. For some reason he found the name amusing.

"They get to pick their name themselves, based on their skills or traits, and Circuits has always been the dramatic one." Her mandibles displayed a small smile, too.

Garrus fought with a wave of sleepiness. "Mmmhh, they're okay… but Hackie seems a bit naïve."

"They're more than okay." Her subharmonics got that angry tone to them again. "And if it wasn't for Hackie you'd still be screaming in agony."

He shuddered and suddenly felt completely awake again. "Sorry, Mr. Vakarian," she said when she noticed it.

"You can call me Garrus, but I, uh, don't remember your given name," he said, trying - desperately - to change the topic, even at the cost of embarrassment. That lab will serve as more fodder for his nightmares.

"I'm Atrin," she said and averted her eyes, obviously feeling uncomfortable.

"Atrin?" Garrus asked before he could stop himself. That was an ancient, archaic name.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Dad thought if he named me after a famous leader I'll just follow along like a good daughter and join him in the world of politics and diplomacy. Too bad I had other ideas." Her mandibles flared as she spoke, and her eyes, when their gaze returned to him, had a hard glint in them despite the green glow.

Atrin Impera. Every turian who wasn't skipping history classes as a kid knew who that was. She invented the meritocracy system that was still in use, even though its importance faded more and more with every year passing after the war. Expecting your daughter to be like her was a lot to ask for.

"Fathers…" Garrus sighed. This was something he could relate to. "Burdening their kids with their own ambitions. Why are they always like that?"

Atrin's attention turned back to her omni-tool. "He tried to burden me. I never let him. I was a doctor even before the war, not a diplomat or a politician."

It was now his turn to look away again. For all his attempts to play rebel, he always did what his father wanted - until he met Shepard. He joined C-Sec. He gave up on special training offered to Spectre candidates. He never drew another picture after his father caught him doing it when he was ten and berated him for being so childish.

Actually, Garrus corrected himself, he did draw another picture, but… He cringed at the memory.

Atrin's omni-tool deactivated with another soft beep. "There, all done," she said and got his arm back into the sleeve. Then she took a better look at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Garrus lied. He couldn't imagine discussing this particular memory with anyone. "So, after the war you switched to biotechnology?" Again, he was desperate to change the subject.

"It seemed like a logical thing to do," she shrugged. "With the new regenerative abilities everyone gained, my skills were put to a better use that way. Plus, I kept helping people, and that's what I always wanted to do, not shoot them." She paused for a moment. "You know, I was a really bad turian before the war."

He didn't know what to say. This was a naïve way of thinking he didn't agree with, believing more in Mordin's shoot-the-bad-people-to-help way. Still, this woman stood up against her father without encouragement from the galaxy's most famous commander, even in the old order. Takes a quad to do that.

He decided to keep his mouth shut, rather than saying something bad.

"We should be close to Palaven now," she said after they've been both silent for a while.

"Already?" His subharmonics rang with surprise. "I didn't feel any relay jumps."

"We're aboard a Reaper, Garrus," she shook her head. "We don't need mass relays, remember?"

"Dammit," he clicked his mandibles. "I'll never get used to this."


The lab he was brought into in the SRI complex in Cipritine looked too much like a surgery room to feel comfortable. Garrus never liked doctors and their torture rooms.

He was alone. Dr. Ormelius brought him here and then left to gather everything she needed to fix his arm. Hackie and Circuits returned to their duties in the Institute and Naduz was busy with the mind examining of Dr. Coesh. He still felt uncomfortable at the thought of that, but realized that was the only possible course of action to figure out what's really going on here. The doc couldn't cover up Hackie's digging through the systems anymore without being discovered, even with her high position in the Institute.

Naduz had also advised them that it should be better if they kept everything that's happened under wraps until he discovers just how deeply the corruption in the Institute goes. It didn't sound too difficult. No one could enter Atrin's private lab without her approval, so he should be safe from discovery. The others were used to see Naduz come and go, so his presence wouldn't raise doubts either. The two geth were smart enough to keep their vocalizers mute. Atrin even assured him she'll fix him quickly and without problems. So why the hell was he so nervous?

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that his arm will be fixed by using a Reaper sample. The nanides contained in it, the doc explained, were essential in restoring the circuits and with them his arm's functionality. If he wasn't so damn tired, she might've had to tie him down to prevent him from running away, just like Circuits said.

It was too late for that. Atrin Ormelius went through the door, carrying several weird-shaped devices. Putting them on a table nearby, she kept one in her hands and wiggled it in the air. "Luckily, I had one of the samples already prepared, so I didn't have to go and bother Naduz."

Garrus didn't say anything. They are our friends, he kept telling himself inwardly. His mind kept returning to the conversation with Naduz and Shepard's memories he saw. This is exactly as it's supposed to be.

Taking another device, she walked over to him and touched his neck with it. "This will make you fall asleep," she said. "Your nerves need to be reactivated. It's going to hurt, maybe even worse than what you experienced when your circuits got erased."

He nodded. One good thing about the circuits was that needles were no longer needed. Garrus hated doctors and their needles.

Whatever she gave him kicked in quickly. The artificial fog of sleepiness blanketed his mind, and he gave in willingly. For a while, he lost any sense of his surroundings.


Waking up was suprisingly pleasant. He had a feeling everything was okay with him. Also, he wasn't alone. Atrin sat by him and waited patiently until he regained full consciousness, saying: "I restored your circuits."

That was exactly what he wanted to hear. He tried moving his arm, and yes it worked, and yes his fingers wiggled, and yes he was damn happy about it. "Thank you," he replied, with gratefulness ringing clearly in his subharmonics.

Her mandibles flexed in a smile. "Just doing my job."

He smiled in return and sat up without problem. Then he pointed forward with his arm, then to the side and finally back, testing its mobility. It worked perfectly, and he didn't feel any pain, either. A warm feeling of relief washed all over him. "A damn good job, if you ask me."

"It's nothing compared to what we can achieve," she replied quickly. "We'll be able to modify ourselves the way we want to."

"Like… modding a weapon?"

"A bit more complex than that, but yes, the concept is the same." The green glow of her eyes turned dreamy. "Something's wrong, fix it. Want to learn something new, gain a new ability, add it."

He had seen such dreamy eyes before, just they were blue. The person they belonged to wanted a peaceful galaxy safe for anyone.

"We've made some progress in that area, but…" She trailed off and sighed disappointedly. "Someone's already misusing that. Besides using my work to harm people, Dr. Coesh was modded in such a way. I hope Naduz gets something out of him soon. Spirits only know who else is involved and how are they improved."

That would explain the speed and fitness of that salarian, Garrus thought. So I'm not that useless.

"Will it always be like that?" Atrin ranted on. "You do something good and someone just comes and… and… trashes it. When will we move on?"

Yes and never, he wanted to say. The bitter cynic inside him was subdued but not dead. Still, the look in her eyes prevented him from saying it. "We will, one day. It takes time," he found that his mouth was forming these words. It didn't kill him.

"Yeah," she said, but somehow not sounding very convinced. She looked past him, somewhere far away.

The angle of her head allowed him to take a good look at her fringe. It barely protruded over her scalp, just as it should for a woman, and its points were perfectly sharp and silvery, just like he liked before… before…

Before the hopping blonde ponytail that appeared in his mind almost immediately and the fascination for the golden strands he developed. He also saw those strands free and untamed, sprawled over the pillow and damp with sweat. Yes, that was better. Much better.

He was about to lose himself in the wave of memories, when the now-familiar tingling in the back of his skull appeared, followed by Naduz' booming voice. "Progress on Coesh," it said.

"What do you have?" Garrus replied, and to his surprise it came almost naturally.

"Bad news, for both of you." Naduz seemed to hesitate. He felt alarmed. What could it be? "Dr. Ormelius… Atrin… There's no nice way to say it, but your father is involved."

There was a pregnant silence while they processed what they just heard. Then it sunk in and hit them with full force. Atrin squealed quietly with her subharmonics for several long moments. "No… No! Dad wouldn't do it! He is mixed up with those nasty radical groups, but he would never… never…" She took a breath, but it didn't help her calm down. "By the spirits, he approved me joining SRI. One thing we ever agreed on. He didn't do it so I would invent technology that would help him kill-"

"Atrin…" Naduz spoke gently. "I'm sorry, but I can see into his mind. He can't lie at this point."

Garrus wanted to say something comforting, because she looked and acted like a child needing it badly, but a quickly swelling rage inside him prevented it. Of course, this was bad news for him too. He pretty much started it all with stepping down.

It was a determined rage though, not the rampaging kind that destroys everything in its path. He had focus now. He will fix what he screwed up, no matter the cost.