STUPID THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE
-Uchiha Sasuke, first and foremost
-Falling up the stairs and getting a bruise on the famous forehead
-Spilling chocolate cake all over my white skirt––NOT A GOOD SITUATION
-Sitting on tomato sauce while in a white skirt––DITTO
-Listening to Ino-pig and Sai and my inner Iago––WHATEVER GUYS, I'VE BEEN STUDYING OTHELLO AND SHUT UP I QUOTED SHAKESPEARE
-Trying to sex up the situation with Sasuke-kun. Hahaha, I'm so smooth. NOT.
-Um, the time that I told everyone in third grade I was vegetarian, so they bought me vegetables for my birthday. Third graders are not smart. Keep this in mind.
-Uchiha Sasuke existing and having an important place in my life/mind
BUT MOST OF ALL––
-Letting myself be afraid of the dark.
I'm relatively sure that this fear stemmed from early psychological trauma.
Well, no.
Actually it was just my own personal conspiracy theory that yes, there were monsters under the bed and yes they would eat me if I didn't have a night-light and yes, darkness was bad.
So there you go.
But ever since, darkness and I have been at loggerheads. As in, I filed for emancipation and it said no, so we're currently in a legal debate. So you can understand that when all the lights went kabam out of action, I was more than a little freaked. Especially because I was near a pool and could fall and hit my head and drown and die.
So I screamed. Loudly. For awhile––
Until someone inconsiderately clamped a hand over my mouth, at least.
"Be quiet," Sasuke-kun growls harshly, sounding way more pissed off than usual. I guess considering his house just kind of had a power-cut while hundreds of guests are inside, it is a cause for concern. I would be pissed.
"Mppph," I reply eloquently.
"Come on," Sasuke-kun begins dragging me back to the house, hand locked around my wrist. Although he's kind of forgetting that I'm––
"AGH! STOP IT, JERK! I DON'T WANT TO MOVE!"
––not cool with this.
He turns around to stare at me. Or at least I think he does. I can't really see.
"What's wrong with you?" he grumbles.
I am shit scared by the dark and have been since early childhood. Somehow I don't think this'll impress him. Hell, Ino-pig laughed for about five hours straight when I told her, and she's a pretty pitiful individual herself.
(Not to say that I don't love her, of course.)
"I…I…" I flounder, like a fish out of water. "I don't think it's safe! What if we fall into the pool?"
"…the pool's in the other direction."
"What if we trip over someone else and you twist your ankle?"
"…I'll take the chance."
"What if you twist their ankle?"
"Hn."
"But what if something really bad––"
Sasuke-kun sighs audibly, tightening his grip on my wrist. "I'm sure you'll be fine, Sakura."
"This is the perfect setting for a horror movie! I bet there's an axe-murderer just waiting for us outside the gate! I've seen The Grudge; I know that darkness equals bad––"
"Sakura." Yep, he sounds unimpressed.
(At least this means he's forgotten about how suspicious he is about the whole Sai and me thing––I don't think even Sasuke-kun would interrogate someone while they're freaking about how pitch black the place is.)
"…yes?" I attempt.
"…don't be scared," he says finally, tiredly. "It's stupid."
I pout. "It's not. It's perfectly reasonable."
"…I'm right here anyway. Nothing's going to happen," he turns away, and mutters something which sounds a lot like 'idiot', but hey, I wasn't really caring about that.
(He basically said he'd protect me!
…I'm such a loser.)
"I trust you," I told him, reluctantly letting him drag me out of the pool area and back towards the party.
"Hn," he responds, although I swear it wasn't as grumpily as usual.
To: foxydemon
From: artclassfreak
Subject: We're winners
So the lights are out. You got the next stage planned, Uzumaki?
(Where the hell did you disappear to, anyway?)
Sai.
To: artclassfreak
From: foxydemon
Subject: No, I'M a winner
YES! NARUTO'S GOT IT GOIN' ON.
Who knew that childhood friendship with Sakura-chan would actually help? Because seriously, she's one psychotic teenager.
-Naruto of Ramen
P.S––I'm practicing my balance skills. There are people everywhere. They're scary. And it's squishy. How long do we have to stay upstairs?
To: foxydemon
From: artclassfreak
Subject: Sure you are
…just save your hyperactivity for someone else.
I think they're coming inside now.
Sai.
P.S––Do I even want to know what you mean by 'balance skills'?
"Sasuke-kun?" I inquire for the millionth time, just to see if he's still listening to me.
"…hn?" he sounds annoyed, but stops and turns to me. (At least he moved. Unsure about where he's facing.)
"Where is everyone?" I ask, looking around.
Unless they all mysteriously vanished in the space of five minutes––and I find this doubtful because I heard them all clamouring around and shouting and drinking alcohol regardless of lighting before––then they just kind of left.
Sasuke-kun stops. "Hn…"
"Um, you think they all went home?"
"No."
"Right. I thought that sounded stupid, too."
Sasuke-kun calls out for Naruto a few times, but nobody answers. See, the Uchiha mansion is massive, and is about four storeys, so they could have just all migrated upstairs where there's better light. But why would no one be answering, then?
This is really creepy, like a nightmare or a scene from a horror movie––
I knock an empty beer can accidentally, and stiffen. Sasuke-kun snorts derisively, before letting go of my wrist and moving away from me.
(NO! My shield's deserting me!)
"I'll check upstairs," he sighs. "It's probably some stupid joke of the dobe's––" I swear if Naruto had anything to do with this then I'll… "Wait here."
"But––"
Sasuke-kun leaves before I get to put forth my excellent idea of finding maybe the power box instead of rushing all gallant-like upstairs to uncover the mystery of the power shortage. Sakura-chan likes light, and would like the light to be back on, please.
HAY, SASUKE-KUN'S GONE.
So I'll just resolve to remain in the same spot as he slowly makes his way up the stairs, cursing when he stubs his toe. This resolve, however, is mostly shattered when I feel something slimy touching my leg. See, I went for open-toe shoes, so I instantly felt––
Felt something crawling––
BUGS!
"AAAH SASUKE-KUN HELP HELP BUGS THERE'S BUGS HEEELP!!"
It takes about five full seconds for Sasuke-kun to get to the bottom of the stairs again, and he doesn't even comment on how I cling to him and keep screaming about the bugs. Instead he just swats them away and I'm sure he rolls his eyes.
"I said you were fine, Sakura, didn't I?" he asks, displeased.
"B-bugs…" I shiver, sinking, mindful of all the creepy-crawlies.
"You're scared of bugs too?"
"Shut up! You––" I suddenly had a brilliant revelation. "You're scared of teddy bears," I hiss.
He freezes. "…no, I'm not."
I smirk. "Yes, you are! I remember when you were a little kid and your mum took you to––"
"Sakura."
"––that store and asked you which of the teddy bears you wanted––"
"Sakura."
"––and you screamed and said they were scary and started to cry––"
(I think I'm delighting in this too much.)
"Why are you dating Sai?" Sasuke-kun blurts suddenly.
(Okay, not so much.)
I blink.
To: artclassfreak
From: foxydemon
Subject: Success?
So did that part of the plan work? I can't hear anything! There's too many people in here! (And they're getting annoyed.) I'm kind of glad the teme has a completely soundproofed house.
-Naruto of Ramen
To: foxydemon
From: artclassfreak
Subject: Definitively so
Remind me to thank Shino for the bugs. He might not be getting some of them back, however. But yes, it's working.
Sai.
P.S––and be patient, moron.
I shift uncomfortably.
"…Sakura?" Sasuke-kun questions after a long and painful pause.
"You just don't like the teddy bear story!" I grumble.
"You didn't answer my question."
"I know that," I sigh. (Haha. Ironic. NOT.) "It's a long story, okay?"
"…we have time."
"Why do you want to know so badly?" I shoot back.
He snarls. We're both stuck with answering questions we really don't want to answer now, I think. Well, that's fine! If he doesn't want to answer, then it's okay as long as I don't have to, either.
"Tell me," he demands.
"You tell me!"
"I asked first."
"God, mature much?"
"Sakura, don't be annoying."
"I'M not the annoying one in the equation! You're the … the … manipulative stupid one who's trying to get me to answer stuff I don't want to!"
"It's a simple question."
"No, it's really not!"
"…do you not like him or something?" Sasuke-kun perks up, narrowing his eyes. I know because I can see the slightest tinge of red glinting in the dark. "Has he hurt you?"
I shake my head vehemently. "Nothing like that, Sasuke-kun."
"…then what?" he's getting impatient.
"I––"
I'm screwed. If I tell him that it's because I want to be dating him and that I like Sai (which is kind of what I've been trying to get him to believe so far) then I could possibly lose Sasuke-kun. After what Ino-pig said especially. But––ugh, Sasuke-kun doesn't even like me anyway, so why's it a problem?
(Because I love him. MORON.)
"I can't tell you, okay?" I sniff, crossing my arms over my chest and looking away.
"Why not?" he growls in frustration. "You're being stupid."
"I'm not! Again, why are you so adamant on knowing?" I shake my head, pink hair flying everywhere. "It's not as if you're jealous!"
He's silent.
I'm silent.
We stare at each other. (I think.)
Then I get an idea. A crazy, stupid, bad idea that is born from being in the dark and just being assaulted by bugs. But it's still an idea nonetheless. And it's better than waiting around dumbly for the power to come back on, and not saying anything––
"You really want to know?" I ask quietly.
(I'M CRAZY. IT'S OFFICIAL.)
"…obviously," he sounds disgruntled.
(Don't blame him, really.)
"I could show you," I enunciate slowly, like the words are killing me. Which they pretty much are, because this is the single most painful and stupid thing I think I have ever been about to do in my life––
"What do you mean?"
"Um, well…" I trail off, and move slightly closer to him. I don't know if he notices, because it's dark and all.
Then I lean in, grabbing hold of the front of his shirt. He stiffens, and then––
And then the lights come back on.
(Needless to say, I ran as fast as I could as soon as that happened.
Reality hit me in the face.)
To: artclassfreak; foxydemon
From: inobabexoxo
Subject: FREAKIN' MORONS
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SAKURA, YOU FREAKIN' SOCIOPATHS?
I understand that you think this is all for the best…
BUT YOU ARE MEN. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?
She's confined herself to her room for a couple of hours now!
FEEL BAD.
To: foxydemon
From: artclassfreak
Subject: Huh?
You said it went okay, Uzumaki. You said that Sakura looked happy. You assured me it would be fine and I could leave and turn the power back on.
WHAT.
THE.
HELL?
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Sai.
To: artclassfreak
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: And I'm really sorry…
I don't think I'll be able to make it for lunch today. I'll make it up to you, though.
Sorry.
Out,
Sakura-chan!
P.S––and don't listen to Ino-pig. She's just going into psychotic best friend mode. I'm fine, just incredibly stupid.
"You are so not fine, Sakura––"
"Go away, Ino-pig!"
"Your mum let me in!"
"Well, screw her! Go away!"
"I know you're upset, but––"
"I'm not upset, okay? I'm perfectly all right. Just feeling like the biggest idiot in the universe!"
"I'm coming in."
"Don't!"
"I am!"
"Agh!"
"I AM HERE TO CHEER YOU UP WITH A LIST!"
"Ino, we're not twelve anymore!"
"What-ever."
SOME MOVIES GUARANTEED TO MAKE SAKURA FEEL GOOD
as written by Ino
and grudgingly (YES INO-PIG) commented by Sakura
1) The Grudge
Um, Sakura, how does the Grudge fit the criteria of feel-good movies?
I can imagine myself being the Grudge. It would be fun.
Oh-kaay…
2) Failure to Launch
Eww. Matthew McConaughey.
SHUT UP SARAH JESSICA PARKER IS AWESOME. On that note, Sex and the City probably suffices anyway.
Totally.
3) Nightmare on Elm Street
Don't knock this. I could be Freddy Kruger.
Is someone getting a little too emo here, or is it just me? You sound like Sasuke.
YOU WROTE HIS NAME
Sakura. Seriously.
4) She's All That
Dude. HE USED HER AND THEN FELL IN LOVE WITH HER. LIKE, THAT NEVER HAPPENS.
OH SHUT UP AND ENJOY THIS, BITCH.
5) Homeroom
What's that about?
A high school shooting.
…Sakura, please don't tell me you're serious.
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME.
Well, tough!
6) Elizabethtown
ADMIT IT. YOU LOVE THIS ONE.
Orlando Bloom … okay, fine, I succumb.
OH YEAH, I'M GOOD.
Tch. He's too hot to ignore.
7) Legally Blonde
Her outfits were awesome. Shut up.
Finally you stopped being so morbid.
24/7: blah
I want to be Buffy.
If I was Buffy, I wouldn't be feeling so downhearted 'cause all her problems work out in the end. Plus, she's super-hot, and not even vampires can resist her sexiness. At a last count, just about every male on the planet resisted mine.
THAT'S SO UNFAIR.
Maybe I should dye my hair blonde.
Then I'd look like Ino…
Okay. Never mind. That would be too scary.
Love from your DEPRESSIVE master,
Haruno Sakura
P.S––I AM SO CRAVING BEN AND JERRY'S. LIKE WHOA. Fatness will depress me more, though, I think.
25/7: really, really freakishly early
I want to be Buffy because Buffy has Angel.
And Riley.
And Spike.
WHAT THE HELL. SHARE THEM AROUND, WOULD YOU, WOMAN?
Love from your in-the-mood-for-a-marathon master,
Haruno Sakura
P.S––I have got to stop using alliteration. It helps no one. I should also stop watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer considering it's two in the morning.
To: foxydemon
From: UchihaS
Subject: (none)
…something happened at my party the other night.
When the lights were out––Sakura tried to––
…I'm not sure.
(And you are going down. Do you know how many dead bugs are in my house, dobe?)
To: UchihaS
From: foxydemon
Subject: MOFO
I HATE KNOWING PEOPLE WHO MANAGE TO BE CRYPTIC IN EMAILS. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, TEME?
DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE.
-Naruto of Ramen
P.S––I swear, I had no idea Shino let his bugs loose, by the way!
To: foxydemon
From: UchihaS
Subject: …mofo?
…I think she almost kissed me.
To: UchihaS
From: foxydemon
Subject: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT
You people are crazy. What's with all the "almost kisses", huh? Hurry up already!
You need counselling. Pronto.
-Naruto of Ramen
P.S––well, is it a good thing or a bad thing, teme?
School the next day was probably the worst experience of my life. Or one of them. Everyone who had been at the party last night was staring, on account of the fact as soon as the lights turned back on, everyone had barged downstairs and seen me run away from Sasuke-kun.
(THIS.
CANNOT.
BE.
HAPPENING.)
Fortunately, I haven't seen Sasuke-kun as of yet and I'm kind of happy with it staying that way. I mean, if I never see him ever again. A convent sounds good. Nunnery doesn't seem too far-fetched, right? On a scale of one to ten, it'd be good for me.
I'd be the first pink-haired one, no doubt.
"Hey, Ugly," a voice greets me.
I whirl around. "Sai!"
I am so glad to see him right now. Out of Sasuke-kun himself, Naruto and Ino-pig, Sai-of-no-last-name is practically a GOD.
(Sakura ain't doing too well with her nunnery plan. Pssh.)
"You won by about a gazillion points, and you still didn't show to gloat," he draws me into a hug––this one is a friendly one, though, an I'll be here for you type hug. It makes my heart fuzzy. "Very unlike you."
"I know. I didn't feel so great," I admit. "You don't know the story, but––"
"Ino told me," Sai interrupts, smirking.
"Oh." I SWEAR I'LL KILL THAT GIRL ONE DAY.
"It would've been a good plan if you'd actually done it."
"No, it was a stupid plan to begin with," I shiver.
Sai looks like he's about to disagree.
It's right now that Sasuke-kun turns the corner, and I know that he notices me right away.
(Last night was a huge mistake––WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HARUNO SAKURA!? Seriously. Sasuke-kun doesn't like you, in fact, he probably thinks you're the hugest freak especially after being suspicious about Sai––)
I have one last method of self-defence.
"Kiss me," I order Sai, while Sasuke-kun's out of hearing range.
"Why?" Sai asks, confused.
"Kiss me," I growl. Sai looks up, notices Sasuke-kun, and then looks back down at me. His expression is sort of … I dunno, sympathetic? Disappointed?
"If you want," he shrugs, and kisses me.
I feel the tears in my own eyes even as I see Sasuke-kun storm off.
To: foxydemon
From: UchihaS
Subject: (none)
Forget what I said.
She's happy with him.
I'll stop trying to interfere. It's stupid.
To: foxydemon
From: artclassfreak
Subject: Bad news
…I think Sakura's almost completely given up on him now.
We have to do something, and fast. Something that works.
…I didn't want to resort to plan B, but it looks like it's required.
Sai.
To: foxydemon
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: You okay?
Naruto, are you feeling all right? You're kind of twitching while you're reading your emails. Hope you don't have a seizure. Some bad news?
Out,
Sakura-chan!
To: prettyprincess77
From: foxydemon
Subject: Haha
You have no idea.
-Naruto of Ramen
Naruto, ask Sakura the answer to question five.
What? No!
Naruto-kun, could you please tell Sasuke-kun that he can stop glaring at me like that?
Err…sure thing, Sakura-chan.
Dobe, did you get the answer?
No, I didn't.
Naruto, he hasn't stopped glaring.
Sorry, Sakura-chan.
I need the answer. Get it now.
Whatever!
What a freaking asshole. MAKE HIM STOP.
"I QUIT! YOU TWO ARE LOSERS! STOP MAKING ME INTO THE MESSENGER! I HATE LIFE!"
25/7: my friends are odd
Naruto had a nervous breakdown in IT. I have no idea why, really. He just randomly stood up and started shouting at us. But the idiot got all three of us detention, which is just peachy. I have never gotten detention before in my life, and now this is gonna be twice in one month. All because of Sasuke-kun.
I hope he knows how much I sacrifice for him.
…ugh. This makes me think about the other night.
UGH.
UGH.
UGH.
Okay, you want to know what I was thinking? Yes, you do, because I'm wondering that, too.
I was thinking hey, here's a chance to end all this and finally admit to Sasuke-kun what I've been too afraid to admit. If I do this now, I don't have to worry about using Sai anymore, and I also don't have to worry about seducing Sasuke-kun/making him jealous/exacting revenge/loving him so much it hurts.
But then I chickened out.
And realised that I kind of don't really want to see his reaction, because I know it's gonna be a negative one. He's gonna be all glare-y, and maybe use Look Twenty-Five. ("How could you ever think that's even remotely the case? You're an idiot. Out of my breathing space. Now. I never want to see you again.")
I think I might just possibly die if that happened.
SO I'LL SETTLE FOR BEING DEPRESSED, YEAH?
IT'S BETTER THAN BEING MORBIDLY DEPRESSED.
That's right.
Love from your master,
Haruno Sakura
P.S––besides, I pissed Sasuke-kun off to the max by kissing Sai. I think it's safe to assume he won't want to even come near me for awhile. SO THERE YOU GO.
I'm cool with that.
Ish.
(AGH, I HATE LIFE, TOO. NARUTO HAS A POINT.)
STUPID THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE (REVISED):
-Uchiha Sasuke
-Uchiha Sasuke
-Uchiha Sasuke
-Uchiha Sasuke
-Uchiha Sasuke
THERE. THAT JUST ABOUT SUMS IT UP.
A/N: So this chapter was a bit more depressing than the last one. Don't worry, eventually this story will actually have SasuSaku and not all this "almost" stuff. 'CAUSE I HAVE AN ACTUAL PLOT, YES I DO, SO FEEL PROUD OF ME. But whatever. I wonder what Sai and Naruto's plan B could be, hmm? AND GUYS, PARTICIPATE IN MY POLL IN MY PROFILE, 'CAUSE IT'S FUN. YEAHH.
