Balance

Summary: Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

Author's Note: So I am terribly sorry about not having updated in a couple of days. I have a couple of reasons for that. My boyfriend, for Christmas, got me a lovely day at the spa, which I had on New Year's Eve (before going out and celebrating). And then, New Year's Day, he and I spent the day watching all of the original Star Wars movies, which was great (and inspiring!) And today, unfortunately, I spent a majority of my time grading (it has got to get done, as much as I would rather be writing this).

Speaking of grading, my winter break ends soon. Which means I will be back to work (yay carpooling until my financing goes through on my new car) on Monday. That being said, a majority of my time must go to planning. I won't be able to update as rapidly as I have been the past week or so. So, my plan is (starting after this chapter) to update one a week. Unless something comes up, I will update on Thursdays, most likely around 7pm EST.

Finally I really wish I could see reviews! Something is up with the website, and I know I am not the only one having these problems. I have gotten many emails with reviews, so I have read most of them. I just can't get a list going so thank you all individually. I can't even reply to reviews right now. Please know that I am forever grateful, for your reviews and to keep them coming (I can still read them in my email!)


Chapter Nine: Remembrance and Forgetfulness

The second that he left his prisoner's cell, Kylo Ren flew into a fit of outrage. What had the little witch done to him? Was she using her newly discovered powers to implant a false memory in his head? Was she trying to play games with his emotions, to get him to doubt himself? It was going to take much more than a simple mind trick to fool him. Although he often longed to forget it, he remembered his childhood, his mother and father. He remembered his training with Luke Skywalker. That desert rat had absolutely no place in his memories. Whatever it was that he had seen just had to be false.

And yet, there had always been something about the desert rat – Rey, her name weaseled its way into his subconscious - that seemed oddly familiar. He just had not been able to place his finger on it. He always wondered why he was so concerned with her, reaching out to her above everyone else. Perhaps this was it: the connection that he had felt with her since the moment that they had first met. A connection that, perhaps, was forged years ago. Why would he have forgotten her through the years when he remembered so much from his past? What made him forget? Who made him forget?

Ren did not like feeling confused. He preferred to be confident with everything in his life, and that included his childhood memories. He felt his own anger at the situation he was in, his own confusion, boiling over. Furious, he began to attack the wall outside of cell with his lightsaber. He shredded the metal until his breathing was staggered and his rage was placated somewhat. The Stormtroopers who stood guard outside did not flinch at the outburst. But Ren paid the insignificant underling no mind. His thoughts were occupied with the little rat in the next room. How dare she mess with his head like that? He loathed recalling memories of his childhood. Now it was all he would be able to think about, wondering what was real and what was not.

And it seemed as though the one who held the keys to that particular answer was his prisoner. It was a good thing that the little desert rat was not going anywhere.

As he walked away from the girl's cell, Ren mulled over the encounter he just had. There had been more than just the revelation that could have known the girl in his past.

Rey Kenobi.

The last name was familiar to him, of course. During his training with Skywalker, he heard stories of the great Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi who had begun the training of his former master. The Jedi who had trained the young Anakin. Skywalker revered the man, so much so that it made Ren sick. He remembered Luke Skywalker searching the galaxy for remaining members of the Kenobi clan while gathering Force-sensitive younglings to teach, basing his search on old records he had found in the old temple on Coruscant. It was a powerful name, fit for a powerful Jedi.

He remembered that much.

But then why could he not remember meeting her in his childhood?

If this peculiar vision was actually a memory, then it would explain why the girl already was so powerful. She would have had some training, no matter how repressed it was in her mind. And if she truly was a Kenobi, she had so much untapped potential. Potential that he could use, if only she would join him… willingly.

Kylo Ren took one last look at the door to the woman's cell before turning away.

He had some new information to report to the Supreme Leader.


She had been there for a total of ten days.

There were ten marks on the wall of her lowly little cell. She had taken the dull knife from her food tray and broke it in half, creating a jagged edge that was sharp enough for her to use to make marks on the wall. Just like she had done as a young girl on Jakku, waiting for the parents she thought would return for her. There were a total of ten short little lines– two for the days that she had spent drifting in and out of consciousness since her capture, and eight days since her shared… experience with Kylo Ren.

Rey was reluctant to call whatever she had experienced a memory. After all, she barely recognized the planet she had supposedly been on in the memory. She had no recollection of every having met Luke Skywalker or a young Ben Solo during her childhood. The girl in that vision had been young, yes. But still old enough to remember her past. There was no way that Rey could have forgotten her own childhood, her own parents. Her own training to become a Jedi. Every time she thought about it, she could not discern any answers. Only more questions. If that vision truly was a memory, why did Luke Skywalker not say anything to her on the island that day? Her head was spinning in circles the more that she thought about it. Rey wanted nothing more than to push that vision from her head, to forget about it completely.

But eight days of solitude made it difficult for her to think of anything else.

Rey Kenobi.

Rey Kenobi.

Kenobi.

The word was foreign to her, she could not remember hearing it before in her life. It was a name, yes. But she was not so certain it could have been hers. She started saying the name aloud, trying it out on her lips. She hoped that somehow, it could jog another memory, anything that would have helped her to figure out the truth. But the more she said the name out loud, the more it sounded as if it was a name belonging to a stranger.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past," Rey said aloud, in order to reassure herself. She had begun speaking aloud in her cell, attempting to break the intense silence that surrounded her during her captivity. It was comforting to hear a voice, despite the fact that it was just her own. "All that matters is the present. And presently, you need to find your way out of here."

And yet, Rey was consumed by the memory. If it was real, why was she only now recalling it? What had made her forget her past so long ago? What made her forget her master, and the young Ben? Rey shuddered, she felt uncomfortable confronting the fact that she may have known the young Ben Solo before he became the monster that he currently was. That they could have shared a past connection.

But Kylo Ren had seemed just as disturbed by it as she was. How could it be possible that they both forgot?

He had not come back to her cell since their first encounter. On one hand, Rey was grateful for that. Any moment in his presence was one moment too many. And yet, he had seen exactly what she had. Under the present circumstances, he was the only one who would be able to understand. He could help her make sense of this whole mess.

"Oh, now you have to be going crazy," She said aloud to herself. "You cannot look to that bastard for help."

Rey was about to reply to herself when she heard movement directly outside of her cell. The door slid open, the dark cloaked Kylo Ren stood at the foot of her cell. Momentarily, Rey stopped breathing. But she did her best to put on a calm façade in the face of the knight. She could not read his expression, which was hidden behind his cowardly mask, but he did give her a simple command, "You will follow me,"

Rey was very tempted to ignore him completely. She would have loved nothing more than to see the look on his face when she flat out refused to obey him. But she did not have any choice. Almost as soon as the command was given, two armed Stormtroopers roughly grabbed her by each arm and forcibly dragged her out. Once Rey was able to get the proper footing and achieve balance, she swung her arms out of the grasp of the foot soldiers. "I can very well walk on my own,"

"As you wish," She heard the voice of Kylo Ren from ahead of her. Rey scoffed, if she got what she truly wished, she would be leagues away from this awful place by now. But she was in self-preservation mode, and she did not want to provoke the hot-headed knight. Absentmindedly, her hand drifted towards her throat, where he had wrapped his hands around her in a fit of rage. Her eyes narrowed; she truly hated the bastard.

Rey walked in silence for the rest of the way. She could only assume they had reached their destination when her Stormtrooper guard stopped her at a large, black door. As soon as they approached, Rey had a bad feeling about whatever could possibly be behind it. She could sense something dark behind those doors; she did not want to confront whatever was on the other side. Almost instinctively, she made to turn away from the doors but a gloved hand was on her shoulder, keeping her from running away. She took a deep breath as it opened, as she was forced to walk through, with Kylo Ren holding her shoulder the entire time.

The two of them walked alone through the door and down a long hallway. There was no sound between them other than their synchronous steps against the metal floor. Rey kept her eyes focused on her own boots; she did not want to look up and see what was giving her such a horrible feeling. This what the true Dark Side must feel like, Rey thought to herself. At a certain point, the pair stopped walking. Rey kept her head down, but after a few moments Ren jerked her shoulders, forcing her head up to confront the evil she had been trying to avoid.

When she finally looked up, Rey gaped at what she saw. A hologram, towering above the two of them. The dark figure loomed over them, his eyes landing on Rey. To her absolute disgust, the creature smiled at her. Involuntarily, a chill ran through her spine. She stood up a little straighter, lifting her chin in an attempt to put on her bravest fact. She was not going to let this creature know just how terrified he was.

The dark figure's voice boomed as he laughed at her, "You do not fool me, child. Do not deny your fear,"

"I am not scared of a hologram," Rey remarked, defiant through her terror. She looked up at him, unwilling to let him have the pleasure of witnessing her fear. But almost soon as the words escaped her lips, she felt a sharp pain radiate throughout her head. From her head, she could feel the pain radiated throughout her entire body. She fell to her knees, unable to stand anymore. Rey cried out in agony, unable to keep her emotions in check. She did not know how long the ordeal lasted; to her, it felt like it could have been hours.

"Do not underestimate me, girl," The crooked voice from the hologram said as the pain finally subsided.

"Supreme Leader Snoke," Ren, who had up until this point been silent, finally spoke up, "Everyone is in their positions. We are ready to begin at your command, my lord."

"Very well. Bring the girl to the window," She heard the voice command. She felt Ren's hand on her shoulder again, this time gently pulling her up into a standing position. He guided her to the window overlooking the vast expanse of space, taking his time, as Rey's knees were still weak from the pain. For a moment, Rey wondered what she was supposed to be looking at. But that was when she saw them. Resistance fighters, heading right towards them: a rescue mission. Immediately, Rey was filled with immeasurable dread. They were walking straight in to another trap.

Rey watched on, helplessly, as the Resistance pilots were ambushed, with First Order ships attacking them at all ends. Her mouth was agape in horror as X-Wings were being shot at and destroyed left and right. She let out a little cry in devastation. She did not know who was out there, but her mind was reeling with the possibilities of those who had died to rescue her. It could have been Finn, or Poe. She tried to reach out, to use the Force to feel fir the presence of her friends. But it was no use, her emotions were not in check. She was not calm. She had absolutely no way of knowing who was out there. She closed her eyes, not wanting to watch any more of that. Without any sort of warning, the tears fell from Rey's eyes.

She caused this, the deaths of innocent people. It was all her fault.

Although she could not see him, she could hear the smile in the hologram's voice, "Behold the power of the Dark Side. The power of the side that does not fail. The power you could have if you joined us."

Through her tears, Rey was about to tell Snoke just what she thought of the powers of the Dark Side. She did not care if she was tortured again for her remarks. She needed to yell and express her writhing anger. But she was cut off by someone else.

"You could protect them," She heard the distorted voice of Kylo Ren. If Rey did not know any better, she thought she could detect some pity for her in his tone, "Join us, and we can guarantee your friends' safety."

Rey looked up at him, unable to hide the confusion from her face. Her friends, Finn and Poe, they could still be alive? But before she could say anything, the knight continued, "We can show you how to protect your loved ones, something that Skywalker could not do. Something that he refuses to do."

Rey narrowed her eyes, trying to make sense of his words. But she could not wrap her head around it; would she be able to sacrifice her freedom, or own moral compass, for the lives of her friends? She looked back out at the battleground in front of her. All that was left was debris. In the distance, she could see one X-Wing, making its hasty retreat back to the Resistance. Silently, she prayed for his safe travel back to wherever he had come from.

"Give our guest time to think on it," She heard the cruel voice of Snoke from the center of the room. She refused to look at the projection of the First Order's leader.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," She heard the voice of Kylo Ren say, right before she felt his hand on her back again. A voice from the back of her mind told her to shrug him away, but a small part of her resisted. His touch, while nowhere near pleasant, was much gentler than it had been with her in the past.

Rey did not know what to think of that.

The two made their way back to her cell. Rey tried to keep her pace quick, so she would not fall in line with the knight. After everything that she had seen, she did not want to face him. She was too distraught at the thought of her friends being callously slaughtered by the First Order, in an attempt to rescue her. Her heart broke all over again.

"Your friends were not on that rescue mission," Ren said, breaking the silence on their seemingly long walk back to her cell. She felt herself pause at the new information. How did he know exactly what she had been thinking? It unnerved her.

"That doesn't exactly comfort me," Rey snapped, coming across more harshly than she had intended to. She tried to remain controlled around Kylo Ren, but he seemed to force her emotions out of her, "You still murdered innocent people,"

"You mean to tell me that you were not relieved? That when your shoulders relaxed mere centimeters just now, it was not because some stranger died instead of your companions?"

"You are despicable for even suggesting that," She spat, stopping dead in her tracks. He stopped as well, but not soon enough. They were only inches apart, too close for her comfort. She only noticed this as she turned on her heels though, to let him have it. She looked up at him, he was a good few inches taller than her. But his presence didn't frighten her anymore; he angered her.

"If that is the case," The dark knight replied, his tone even when hers was not, "Then you are just as despicable as I am. You wear your emotions; it is easy to tell what you are thinking, little girl."

"Perhaps I am not afraid of my emotions. I do not need to hide behind a mask," She hissed through gritted teeth.

The knight raised his hand, and Rey closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact. But it never came. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and saw the masked man looking at her, "That was your only warning. Do not provoke me, little girl."

He roughly grabbed her arm, and walked her back to her cell in silence. He shoved her inside without as much as another threatening word. Rey lost her footing, falling on to the cold floor of the cell. She grimaced, she did not know how long she could remain prisoner in this place.


Author's Note: It was short, I know! I apologize for that. But please let me know what you think!