Taking Care of Jessica and Tyler (thank you to twigirlbeth, samcam01, and kodatoad for letting me know I have readers. If anyone else is out there let me know.)
My children are perfect. I couldn't ask for anything better. Claire loves them to death. Everyday after she gets home from school, she'll go straight for their room and tickle and coo at them. It's very sweet. What's even better is that since I've given birth to them, the pain from the cancer hardly even hurts. I've been able to walk around, even run without getting bursts of pain. All of a sudden I hear Jessica's shrill cry come from her room.
I rush over and pick her up. Oh my gosh! She is stinky! I guess I better change her. No wonder she was crying, she felt icky. Poor baby. I go to the changing station and give her a new diaper. "There all better, baby." I lay her in her crib and rub her tummy till she falls back asleep. As soon as she manages to fall asleep Tyler begins to whimper. I go over to him and lift him up. "What's the matter, Tyler?" I ask because he doesn't have a dirty diaper and I just fed them. I just pat his back not knowing what to do when he lets out a loud burp. I laugh. "So that's what's wrong. You had a bubble stuck in you." I blow on his stomach and put him back to bed.
Finally some peace and quiet, until Quin gets home. I've only had three hours of sleep since Tuesday, and it's now Thursday. I close my eyes and get comfortable. Right away I fall asleep. Then I have a dream or nightmare, I don't know what to call it. Jolting awake, I can't stop thinking about it. It begins with me in a swimming pool, teaching my kids how to swim. With Quin watching from the kitchen. I look over to Claire where she's doing homework on the bench. My family, my life. I go back to paying attention to my kids, when all of sudden it changes to me being stuck in bed not able to get up. I can't lift my arm without breaking a sweat. It's too painful. I gasp for air, feeling like my lungs are being filled with water. I gaze around me and Quin is holding the babies, all of them, including Claire, have tears streaming down their faces. I tell Quin to bring them over. He obeys and Claire follows. He places the children in my arms gently. I hold them close to me, while I hold Claire's hand. I say to them all that I love them and I'll always be in their hearts. Then, Quin comes up to me, kisses my lips, and whispers his love to me. I sigh and then die.
That's when I awoke. It frightened me so much. Thinking that everyone I loved would be left without me, and possibly motherless for some of them. Breaking out in tears, I hear Quin entering the garage. "Mandy! What's the matter? Has the pain come back?"
"No, I just had a horrible dream. It was so realistic."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No! It was too traumatic."
"Okay. That's fine with me." He then starts to rub the center of my back. I sigh and lean up against him. "I love you so much. You're my world." That was the last straw. Right after he said those words I started bawling, I just can't handle my emotions. Shaking my head of tears, I put myself back together.
As soon as I stop crying, Claire walks in the door. "Hey guys, I'm home. Where are the twins?"
"They're sleeping, so don't go in."
"Okay cool." She comes over and sits down. She turns on the t.v. and goes to Psych. Two seconds later she starts to crack up because of the character Gus. I smile, get up, and make popcorn. As the microwave beeps, a crippling pain creeps up my body. My eyes go wide, and I collapse on the floor. The patter of feet is all I can hear, other than my broken breathing. I try to get up but can't. Just too weak. "Sis! Get up! You're scaring me." Tear drops fall on my face, I know they're Claire's.
"Just let me rest, don't worry I'm fine."
"Mandy, Claire and I aren't going to just let you lay on the kitchen floor. At least let us take you to the couch." I cave in, and allow them to carry me over there. As soon as I'm there both babies start to cry.
"I need to go take care of my babies. Let me go there."
"No, you might be injured badly. Stay here," Quin commands me.
"Fine!" I let myself rest while they bring Tyler and Jessica over to me. Quin places Tyler in my arms, while Claire holds Jess. I curl my arms around my baby when pain surges through me again. I hold Tyler up to Quin, and once he takes him, my body arches in pain. As I fall back onto the bed, all my oxygen leaves my body. My eyes roll up into my head and I lose conscience.
The next thing I know, I'm waking up to the sound of electrical beeping noises. I look around and see I'm hooked up to an IV, and have a pulse machine wrapped around my thumb. What happened to make me end up in the hospital? I'm on oxygen too?! How bad was I? Ugh, I can barely lift my arms. It hurts to the extreme. "Quin," I manage to spit out of my dry throat. It feels like a blow dryer came in and wiped out any trace of moisture in my throat. I hear a rustle of clothes and then breath on my face.
"Mandy, are you up?"
"Yup, can I have some water?" He nods and hands me his bottled water. "I can't really lift my arms. Could you pour it in my mouth?"
"Of course." He dribbles it in my mouth. So refreshing.
"Thank you. Where's everybody else?"
"Claire went to get lunch and took the kids with her."
"Oh, okay. Quin, I'm scared, I can't even lift my freaking arm! What happened to me?"
"It's the cancer. It finally took control of your nervous system and muscles."
"What?!" Then I begin to lose breath. Grasping over air, I pull the oxygen mask back on my face. "Bring Claire back, I don't think I'm going to make it any longer."
"Don't say that, don't give up."
"Just get them back here. Don't argue."
A few minutes later, I hear talking and feet scraping against the floor. I locate them in the corner of the room and motion them forward. As soon as they reach the edge of my bed, a paralyzing pain runs all across my body. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Pain finally dissolves. I swallow, and tell them to let me hold the twins. Obeying, they place them slowly in my arms. I feel the weight of them on my arms. "Claire come over here, hold my hand." I feel her clammy, cold hand land in mine. "I want you all to know, that I love you. Once I'm gone...... embrace my love and keep it in your hearts. Claire listen to Quin, don't become depressed, have a happy life. Find love like I did. And Quin keep on loving me, but find someone else that will make you happy."
"It won't be immediate," he tells me.
"I know that." He closes the space between us and kisses my cheek. I manage to lift both kids up and kiss their beautiful, smells like a baby head. I lay them back down and kiss Quin's tender quivering lips. "Don't be sad, I'll be in a better place." He kisses me back, and I close my eyes. I squeeze Claire's hand and kiss Quin one more time. My last thoughts are of my family and how much I love them. Then, I lose conscience and don't wake back up. Instead, I peacefully die.
(Attention all, I know this is sad and Mandy is dead, but this is NOT the end of the story. There is one more chapter. Be prepared, and please review.)
