Second chapter! Enjoy your weekends!
Also happy birthday to my gorgeous best friend, Desiree! xx
Chapter 8
Wearing my kimono again had never felt so great. It had been months since I had worn any civilian attire and I was enjoying every moment of it. This was one of my favorite kimonos, a dark grey komon with white vines wrapping around the pattern, all held together by a plain cream-colored obi.
The gates of the Seireitei closed behind me and I smiled at the Rukon that lay in front of me. The sun was shining down and a breeze was keeping everyone cool. Everything was green and lively and I took a deep breath of the sweet smell of blooming flowers.
My spirits were always high at the aspect of returning to the Rukongai. For all of the struggles I faced here, leaving the Rukon had been bittersweet. It was even more so now that I was a Shinigami and didn't get to visit as often as I wanted.
First thing was to buy flowers for Haku's grave. I headed over to my favorite stall, hoping the old couple that ran it was still alive. I rounded the corner and smiled in relief when I spotted them.
"Kumiko!" The old man, Takafumi, waved at me when he spotted me, "Is that you?"
I nodded and waved at him, "Hey, long time no see."
"Oh dear, where have you been?" His wife, Chimari, smiled at me. She rushed around the stall and gave me a tight hug.
I smiled softly and hugged her back, "Just work."
"They work you all too much," She said scoldingly, "A girl like you should be more concerned with marriage and taking care of yourself."
I laughed but made no comment. Chimari and I had very different opinions about the responsibilities of women and men but I respected her and her husband too much to contradict them. Besides, I didn't feel the need to debate the whole matter. They were allowed to believe what they wanted, just as I was.
"You want the usual?" Takafumi asked and I nodded, reaching for my money pouch. He held his hand up and smiled gently at me, "Kumiko, how often do I do get to see your lovely face around here? It's free, my dear."
I hesitated before relenting, bowing my head, "Thank you."
He handed me a small bouquet of carnations and cherry blossoms and after promising that I would have tea with them before I had to return to the Seireitei, I carried on down the streets to the Kuchiki manor. The grounds surrounding the Kuchiki Estate were teaming with cherry blossom trees, a breathtaking storm of pink petals that shimmered in the sun.
I had no problem entering the estate now that I was given permission to visit whenever I wanted. The Kuchiki guards recognized me and allowed me access to the cemetery which were within reach of their watchful lookout tower.
Following the path up the hill to the cemetery, I opened the gate to the graves quietly. I hated coming here. It brought too many memories from the past, a life that was forgotten by most. Being surrounded by the deceased Kuchiki clansmen reminded me that there was no true way of covering my tracks. My past seemed to be a reoccurring theme in my daily life now.
Finding Haku's grave, I knelt down and lay the flowers beside his name, next to another bunch of flowers, "Hello, Haku. It's been a while." The wind picked up and I felt my fingers tingle with a sensation I was all too familiar with. I sat up and touched Haku's headstone, "I see that I'm not the only one to visit you."
Turning around, I watched as he stepped out from behind of the larger gravestone. Kisuke Urahara. My breath caught in my throat. What was he doing here?
"I'm sorry," He bowed slightly, "I didn't mean to intrude."
I glanced down at Haku's grave then back at Kisuke, "Who let you in here?" He glanced down at my hands that held on tightly to my kimono to keep from trembling.
He walked toward me, ignoring my question, "When I heard you were on leave, I had a hunch that you would come here. But I still haven't figured out why. Well, I think I might but I haven't confirmed it yet."
Panic. I felt my stomach lurch as he approached, like a cat stalking a mouse. What could I say? I was still shocked that he had found out I would visit the Kuchiki Manor. Did he know? No...he had said that he was still piecing it all out.
Should I lie? Could I lie?
"Yoruichi knows quite a bit about the Kuchiki family," He said and I stiffened, "She was engaged to one for the longest time, the eldest son of Ginrei Kuchiki. His name was Akio."
I felt ill as he continued to speak, staring at him. Fear pricked at my lungs like a thousand needles, deflating each breath I took.
"Akio Kuchiki was a lot older than his fiancee, Yoruichi," Kisuke continued, stopping in front of me, "So he broke off the engagement and was forced to marry a girl from a less aristocratic family, Sachiko Kuna, as a punishment. They had two daughters, Mashiro...and Kumiko."
I couldn't breathe. My insides tightened as fear took hostage of my body, forcing me to stare the man who had figured it all out. He knew my secret, like I knew his.
Kneeling in front of me, he pointed to Haku's grave, "I knew Haku, he had been a companion of mine and Yoruichi's when we were younger. But he was weak and died at a young age."
"Don't speak of Haku!" I bared my teeth at him. I needed to leave.
Kisuke smiled gently at me, confusing me more, "I hadn't known much about his personal details other than that he was Byakuya Kuchiki's older brother and was set to be in charge of Kuchiki Clan. They had it all planned out, even had a fiance for him," His grey eyes locked me in place, shining with a deep understanding, "The Kuchiki's had decided to strengthen their Kuchiki bloodline and had him engaged to one of Akio's daughter. You, Kumiko Kuna. Kumiko Kuchiki."
I was rendered speechless. All I could think about was the past that I had run away from, the family I had left, the future...all because they hadn't believed me. I closed my eyes and tried to swallow my shame down but it overflowed in the form of tears.
"Why did you run away after he died?" Kisuke asked.
"You wouldn't understand," I hissed at him, "You'll never know what it was like, growing up like that."
"So you ran away to the Rukongai? To live a life that most would give up in a heartbeat?" His tone grated against my nerves. I raised my fist to punch him but he caught my wrist, his eyes narrowing, "Instead of hitting me, why don't you explain it to me?"
I tried to rip my hand away from him but his grip was firm. Looking at Haku's grave, I bit my lip hard enough to taste blood. I had run away for so many reasons. How could I expect someone like him to understand at all? He had grown up in the noble life but didn't carry the Shihoin name. He couldn't possibly understand the kind of responsibility and pressure put on a Kuchiki.
"How did you figure it out?" I asked first, glancing up at him.
"When I first met you, I was taken aback by how beautiful you were despite coming from the more poverty-ridden districts," He said simply, "It was only meeting you again did I realize that you strongly resembled someone I knew. I didn't figure it out until I had read a report about how you had broken into the Kuchiki estate. And then it all slid into place; the sleek black hair, the blue eyes, the narrow features."
I was frozen. He had made me from the moment he met me back at the Academy. Why had he only pursued it now? What had stopped him from interrogating me sooner? Most people would have held me to ransom and blackmailed me with my own secret.
"After Haku...had died," I took a deep, shaky breath and breathed out, "Ginrei set an engagement between Byakuya and I. It wasn't ideal and it felt like a betrayal to Haku but I understood that I was the only one who could do it...for my family." His grip loosened but I kept my hand where it was, staring at our hands, "Mashiro...she can't have kids and so it was decided that I would be the one to join the families. But what they never told me was that I wouldn't be able to be myself."
He tilted his head and I said quietly, "Mashiro and I both wanted to become Shinigami. Frankly, that was one of the reasons why Byakuya and I never got along...we were too competitive and since I was a Kuchiki too, I could land a high position in Squad Six just like him."
"But they wouldn't let you become a Shinigami," He guessed and I nodded.
"I don't even know why the fuck I'm telling you this," I drew my hand away from his and wiped my eyes, "But it's all out now so I might as well tell you the rest. Because Mashiro was infertile, the Kuchiki elders deemed her unnecessary and she was allowed to enter the Shino Academy to try bring pride to our family in another way. I, on the other hand, wasn't allowed to become a Shinigami because I was supposed to marry Byakuya."
"They wanted you to be the Lady of the Kuchiki Clan," He murmured, a tone of understanding reaching his voice.
I nodded bitterly, "I was thirteen at the time but even then I knew that I wouldn't be allowed to be my own person. For the rest of my life, I was going to be known as Lady Kuchiki, not Kumiko Kuna. So I had decided that I wouldn't be either."
"And you became Kumiko Riku," He finished for me. There was so much more to the story but he didn't need to know it. He knew enough to destroy me if he wanted.
I nodded, "I would've changed my name from Kumiko too but Haku had chosen it for my parents before I was born...so I kept it."
"You're leaving something out. You don't seem to be so ungrateful that you would willingly give your life as a noble. You could have abdicated like your father had."
I looked at him and snapped, "Haven't you scrounged up enough dirt on me? I'm sure you're going to get a nice little pat on the head by Yoruichi when you return to Squad Two."
He shook his head, "No, she won't find out. At least not from me."
"What? You're not going to tell her?" He shrugged and I exclaimed, "Why not?"
"It's not my secret to tell," He said simply, "Just like mine isn't yours to tell."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I huffed.
He chuckled, "Of course you don't. All I'm saying is that my lips are zipped as long as yours are."
I turned around and stared at him. His smile was so sincere...Why was he being so kind to me? I had broken into his office, had been vying against him, had the potential to destroy his career as a Shinigami.
His hand moved toward my face and I froze as his fingers brushed my fringe away from my eyes, "One eye represents the Kuchiki in you; the other represents the Kuna. Why would you hide such beautiful eyes...unless you don't want to be identified?"
My cheeks burned and I moved away from his hand. He was touching me in front of Haku. It didn't seem right, even if Kisuke had only done it to prove what he knew.
"I'll let you to pay your respects," He smiled at me, "I'm sorry too...if I reopened a can of worms you rather have kept sealed shut."
I sighed, "Some asshole was bound to have found out eventually. But when I get the chance, I'm going to kick your ass for making me cry."
"Looking forward to it," He grinned and began to walk away. It felt weird. Why was he being so kind and forgiving when we were supposed to be at each other's throats?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked before I could think better of it, "You're just going to walk away?"
"Would you prefer me to stay?"
I stammered and he chuckled, "There's no point in being angry, Kumiko. You broke into my office and read a top clearance report, sure, but I'm willing to put that aside."
"Why?"
"Because you were trying to help your squad," He shrugged, "And you didn't tell anyone what you saw in that file. As long as you don't then you and I are fine."
"So then why did you find out about my past?" I asked, "If you had forgiven me already then why-"
"Curiosity," He said simply.
I was taken aback, watching as Kisuke disappeared down the hill. He was curious? But why? My skin felt warm and I faced Haku's grave again. His words...almost made my heart skip.
"I'm going crazy, Haku," I murmured, brushing my fingers along his name, "One minute, I'm breaking into his office; the next, I'm getting butterflies. The hell is wrong with me?"
I shook my head, clearing my mind. I wasn't going down that path again. Sitting before Haku's grave was strong reminder of what happened when I had.
"I miss you," I whispered, lying down next to his grave. My eyes felt heavy as I basked in the sun next to him, remembering when life was happier and simpler. When my life had been Haku's and his was mine…I just wanted to remember what it had been like to be in his arms again.
I snuggled up to the slender, long arms that wrapped me in a warm embrace. Haku's hair splayed around him and I reached out and let it slip through my fingers. His eyes fluttered open and he turned his beautiful blue gaze onto me, a graceful smile touching his lips.
"You have such beautiful eyes, little mouse," He murmured, leaning forward and planting a kiss on my forehead. My cheeks went bright red and he laughed.
"No, that's you!" I mumbled quietly. Haku was beautiful just like all the Kuchiki's. He had kensaikon to hold his hair out of his face, narrow blue eyes, and the prettiest smile. I grinned at him widely, "I'm happy that I have you…"
He smiled at me and closed his eyes again, "It makes me smile when you're happy, little mouse. So just...keep on being happy."
I opened my eyes to the dim light of sunset. Sitting up and wiping the dirt off of my face, I sighed, "Idiot. You don't remember anything now so why does my happiness matter anymore?"
I thought back to Kisuke and how he always seemed to find a reason to smile. I wish I had that kind of strength, to be grateful for the tiny things. But I couldn't be satisfied, not yet when I had accomplished nothing. How could I be happy when I had no more dreams?
How did Kisuke do it? How had Haku? What was the secret to not being sad all the time?
Next: Kumiko travels back home and realises that she is being hunted.
