AN: It's been over two years, but I just couldn't leave this unfinished. I hope you find this chapter satisfying, and I'll try to get the final chapter up sooner than this.
Best Laid Plans
"You mean she really is gone? Haha, I didn't even notice!"
"Seriously? How could you possibly have missed the total lack of lecturing every time we, like, dare to deviate from the sacred will of the great, almighty-"
"Oh, come on, guys. She wasn't that bad, and you know it."
"You're right- she was worse!"
"No, I mean it. At least she actually made an effort to speak out against the ritual. Call her what you like, but she had guts. That automatically puts her ahead of certain other lionesses here."
"You mean like Sarafina?"
"Oh, don't get me started...!"
Lia turned away from the trio of gossiping lionesses and busied herself with cleaning the swirling dust of early evening from her fur. She had been the target of their jeers and speculations when she had given birth- their own age, and already saddled with a cub! How could she possibly shape another's life when she had no clue what she was doing with her own? She'd fought back every chance she had, but the strain of defending herself in her vulnerable state eventually became too much.
Kaidi had stood up for her once, she suddenly remembered. She'd had her cub around the same time, was even of the same age, but had never had to face the surprisingly vicious treatment Lia received. Her brief residence in the Pridelands had quickly taught its inhabitants never to challenge her to her face.
Try as she might, Lia couldn't remember exactly what had been said. All that remained were a succession of fragmentary images, vivid even now. The flash of Kaidi's red eyes as she stalked into the den. The shadows of her three tormentors as they backed against the wall, instantly silenced. A blurry, quivering view of the tawny fur of the cub that slept in her arms- her son- as she gazed down with quiet gratitude, swearing to herself that she could handle it. She'd show them, she'd show them all, she'd be the best damn mother the Pridelands had ever seen.
But that was all a lifetime ago- Tojo's.
"I think she must've been killed. No hyena in its right mind could listen to her running her mouth without wanting to rip her throat out, you know? Hell, I could barely resist."
"I heard she was exiled. I think Scar's held a grudge against her ever since she attacked him."
"Nah, I think she finally cracked. She's gone back where she came from- and good riddance."
Kaidi's disappearance should have solved everything. Now Lia wouldn't have to choose between committing a murder or merely abetting it. She wouldn't have to worry about anyone else dying or even getting hurt. Maybe one day she'd even be able to be happy again, an emotion that now felt as distant and mysterious as the legends of former kings or the Great Spirit. Still, she couldn't help wishing she could see Kaidi one last time. She wasn't even sure why she wanted to.
Whenever her mind wandered now, days since she'd seen Kaidi last, it was to play out possible scenarios. Dialogues, different each time, as she pictured those fiery eyes glowing before her in the darkness of the cave. Sometimes Lia attempted to apologized for speaking so harshly to her. Sometimes she tried to set forth her reasons for backing out more convincingly, away from the clumsy rush of emotion, and dissuade her from her plans more gently. Once she even told her she wished they could try to move on from the past and construct a better future- working not as allies, but friends. Kaidi never yielded even within her imagination, treating her pitiful, submissive ideas with the contempt Lia had to concede they deserved.
Sleep, her one pleasure, seemed to have disappeared with the other lioness. She spent her nights wandering the Pridelands now, always unable to resist returning to the places associated with their intrigue: cave, canyon, graveyard. Even when her thoughts were elsewhere, her eyes remained primed for a view of that familiar orange fur. She supposed the loneliness was just getting to her. As different as they had been, Kaidi seemed to have been the only one to share her desire for rebellion against the suffocating situation they were trapped in. Now Lia was on her own.
"Hark, our sovereign approaches!"
"Guess she's having another one of her pity parties."
"Think we should bow and scrape?"
The sight of Sarafina was the final impetus Lia needed to retire to her den, a night of fitful attempts at slumber and lonesome wanderings ahead. The gossip and taunts she'd half-listened to all evening may have brought back painful memories, but she could get some small pleasure out of the fact that they would soon center around one who truly deserved it.
"Out for another walk, eh, Fifi?"
Sarafina gritted her teeth, coming to a halt as the three younger lionesses at the base of Pride Rock entered her peripheral vision. The fact that they were now the only ones to make an effort to speak to her had finally opened her eyes to the fact that her life as queen was nowhere near the blissful paradise she'd dreamed it would be. She couldn't think of a time when she'd felt worse. Even the pain of her mother's death, so long ago, had been lessened through the companionship of Scar. Now her mate- mate through title alone- wouldn't even deign to acknowledge her. His pitiless silence was still an improvement to the treatment she received from the hunting party; they avoided her like she was a rotting carcass. Sarabi still spoke to her, but infrequently; she still needed time to recover from the deaths of her mate and son. Nala loved her, but her difficult training tired her out, made her sullen and withdrawn by the end of the day. Sarafina had always preferred being alone, but not when it was forced upon her.
"Yes. And I'll th-thank you not to mock me for it." She hated how even she could hear the fear in her voice. "I've had a difficult day."
The lionesses smirked.
"Lonely at the top?"
"Aw, you poor thing."
"Must be tough sitting back and watching while your kid does all the work."
"You don't understand!" Sarafina responded, louder than she'd meant to. "At least you have each other, an-and the hunting party... I'm all alone! Everyone treats me like some sort of traitor, just because I wanted to keep my daughter- my Nala safe! You don't know what it feels like to see even the hyenas treated better than you... to have your own mate avoid you like- like you're some horrible, shameful thing he'd rather forget!" Tears stung her eyes, but she made no effort to conceal them. It wasn't as though they could damage her reputation any further.
"No wonder. Scar's first mistake was making his courtesan his queen."
"What?!" Somehow it came as a surprise that she could feel offended even in her misery. She was sure Mufasa and Sarabi never had to endure such disrespect.
"Well, clearly it wasn't for your brains."
"Scar would never stand for this. If he knew I was being treated like this- if he knew that his subjects were being insubordinate to their ruler-"
"You've said yourself he doesn't care." One of the lionesses leapt down from her rocky perch, shaking the dust from her coat. "If you have a problem with us, you'll have to deal with it yourself." She moved closer to Sarafina, unsheathing her claws with a mischievous grin. "Think you can handle three against one?"
"I don't want to fight anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone!"
The lioness's smile faded, the light going out of her eyes. She stared at Sarafina's nervous, tearstained face for several long, tense seconds, before breaking into a low, bitter chuckle. "No, of course you didn't. Just their cubs." All remnants of playful mockery were gone from her voice.
"But... this doesn't concern you," Sarafina said, backing away into the tall grass. "You didn't have to deal with it. You didn't lose anything!"
"Think about the fact that you could've saved all the cubs if you wanted, Your Majesty," the lioness continued. "Instead your first act as queen was to crawl into the den with their murderer. Think about that before you go mourn over the fact that the worst anyone else has done is hurt your feelings."
"No, you weren't with me in the cave that night, you don't know! Trapped in the darkness, with the smell of blood all around you- with your own heartbeat the only sound drowning out all the sobbing- your cub, the only happiness you have left, thinking she's just gone to sleep... I did the only thing I could. You can't accuse me of anything! You weren't there, you don't know what I was thinking- you don't understand!"
"No, Sarafina," the other lioness responded, her tone approaching something almost of pity. "Take a good, hard look at the situation... from outside your perspective. Then maybe you'll see who doesn't understand."
"Please," Sarafina whispered, head bent to the ground, body trembling. "Please, j-just stop tormenting me. I'm sorry- for everything! For trying to be a good queen, for letting Nala live, for- for existing! I don't even know what I should be apologizing for!" She finally found the strength to turn away and run off, not able to bear staying to hear the other lionesses' reactions. The only thing she was confident of now was that she looked and sounded absolutely ridiculous.
She ran until her chest and sides ached, ran until she was forced to stop for breath. She lay down among the swaying grasses, the night air seeming to burn her lungs as she feverishly inhaled. For those few brief seconds, she was able to forget what had brought her out here. It was with great reluctance that she got to her paws and checked her surroundings, relieved to see she was in the middle of the savanna, far from Pride Rock and completely alone. Still panting, she turned her gaze upward, letting it rest among the stars.
Sarafina had never enjoyed the bedtime story of the royal family, the legend of the Great Kings of the Past. She supposed it was never even intended for commoners to hear; she'd learned it as a cub only through Sarabi, the future king's betrothed. The Great Spirit was said to guide everyone, from greatest to least, looking upon all subjects with equal love. It seemed hypocritical, then, that certain lions should be chosen to be remembered forever by virtue of their birth, while others, just as good, would pass into obscurity. As she grew older, it only seemed more unjust: no shining beacon for her unknown father; for her mother, loving and respectful till her death; for an ignored and brilliant visionary like Scar.
She supposed now Scar would ascend among the Kings after all. Her dominion, however, would always be the Pridelands- she was a mere queen, and not even a great one, at that. She couldn't help wondering if she could even call herself a queen at all, when she couldn't command the respect of her own mate or subjects. A rustling sound from close by snapped her from her thoughts, but a quick scan of the area revealed it to be as empty as when she arrived. She shook her head and looked back at the stars.
The brightest one of all was said to be Mohatu: the king who'd opposed the ritualized slaughter of the cubs, and received the Great Spirit's wrath in the form of a devastating drought. The brighter glow was attributed to how he led what remained of the pride to a safe source of water, which somehow made up for his grievous transgressions. Sarafina couldn't understand that story either. She'd only ever wished he'd succeeded in his resistance, rather than coming to view his actions as folly and passing the belief of the ritual's necessity on to his son, and from his son to Mufasa and Scar. If sparing all the cubs led to the punishment of the whole pride, maybe sparing just one brought the torment upon its mother. It certainly would account for the way her life was going lately.
Another rustle, closer this time, broke her from her speculation once again. This time, a lioness emerged from the tall grass a short distance away. Sarafina tensed, too startled to even extend her claws. She calmed slightly as her vision adjusted, recognizing the slightly curled tuft of fur upon the other lioness's head. "Kaidi! You scared me! What are you doing out so late?"
Kaidi smiled. "Just searching for prey."
Sarafina had never paid much attention to Kaidi before; she'd been too shy to converse with many of the pride members she saw every day, let alone a newcomer. But now, feeling utterly alone, she wanted her companionship more than she ever had before. Maybe she had a chance this time; Tama and Nala had been friends, and unlike many Pridelanders, she hadn't interacted enough with Kaidi to have ever argued with her. "Can I... I mean, w-would it be all right if I j-joined you?" she stammered. "I've been so lonely."
"Of course," Kaidi replied. "We can just walk if you'd like. There's something I've been meaning to discuss."
"All right." Sarafina joined her as she walked away, keeping slightly behind. It was such a relief to let someone else lead.
Kaidi couldn't have chosen a better time to put her plan into action. She glanced at the queen from time to time as they proceeded southward in silence, Pride Rock becoming ever more distant. Sarafina would turn sheepishly away every time their eyes met, casting her gaze to her paws. Her face was streaked with tears, her tail tucked between her legs. That serene, confident bearing she'd had only a few nights before now seemed to have belonged to another lioness entirely.
Sarafina would have to remain distracted for the plan to succeed. They were now nearer the canyon than Pride Rock, but there was still time for suspicions to arise. They just needed to make it to the edge, away from the level ground of the savanna. Once there, nothing could hinder Kaidi's victory. Her greatest obstacle now was to appear appropriately caring and conversational- always a challenge when dealing with Pridelanders.
"I can't help noticing... something's bothering you. What's wrong?"
Sarafina looked up, eyes widened in surprise, but just as quickly resumed focusing on the ground. "I'd rather not say. I know you don't really care."
"And what makes you say that?" Kaidi was still unused to the playful banter of the Pridelander lionesses, but hoped her response was a passable imitation.
Sarafina attempted to steal another glance at Kaidi, but turned away once again. "Well... no one else does," she said. "I just thought you'd be the same."
"And I always thought my main appeal was that I'm not like anyone else here," Kaidi said. Anyone alive, that is. She bit her lip, refusing to let herself voice this thought when she was so close to the site of her impending triumph. No way would she let her plan fall to pieces before she even had a chance to put it into action- not again. The canyon was coming into clear focus as they drew ever nearer, the edge becoming visible and the grasses thinning. All she needed was to let Sarafina talk until her guard was completely down. Kaidi smiled awkwardly. "Go ahead, Sarafina. You can tell me everything."
"I know it sounds stupid when I say it out loud," Sarafina said, barely above a whisper. "But... I'm just so alone. I can't even go out with the rest of the pride anymore. At worst, I'm treated like I'm invisible- at best, I'm insulted to my face. I still have Sarabi, but she has her own life, her own problems." She sighed. "I try to forget it all by making my mind a blank and focusing on whatever I'm doing, like training Nala or going for walks. It never works, but, Great Spirit, I wish it did. I just can't forget when practically everyone in the kingdom wishes I was dead."
"I completely sympathize."
"I didn't know what would happen to me when I said I'd be Scar's queen," she said. "But if I had that moment to live over, I wouldn't change a thing. All I ever wanted was to keep Nala safe and happy, and that was the only option I had left. But that doesn't matter to the rest of the pride. They think I'm idiotic and self-centered, that I don't care that they lost their cubs, that I must be so happy with the privileges I've been given that nothing else matters to me anymore." She scuffed her paw against the scrubby grasses around her and moved ahead to the edge of the canyon, staring at the jagged rocks below. "Maybe they're right. They've twisted my words and motives so many times that now I'm not even sure what I think. All I know is that they can say anything they like about me, because I must be heartless to do what I've done." She turned to Kaidi, her eyes shining with tears. This time her gaze remained focused. "But it hurts. It just hurts so damn much."
"Oh, Sarafina, I understand," Kaidi said. "It hurt me too when my daughter was killed. Her name was Tama. I loved her more than anything. She was adventurous and full of life and the only reason I ever bothered to stay in the Pridelands. I fought for her survival. I took on Scar, and I was foolish and confident enough to believe everything would work out. But I woke up to discover that no member of the pride even bothered to defend her once I'd lost. She was the lion that meant more to me than anything in the world, but to them she was just another body to toss on the pile."
"Kaidi, I'm so sorry-"
"I'm sorry, too. Sorry to inform you that, for once, my opinions happen to align with those of your pride. I suppose this brings us to what I wanted to discuss."
Sarafina stared as though transfixed. Kaidi could detect no sign of fear, or even anger, among her features- nothing but disbelief. That would make it even easier.
"I was told Nala was spared because you put yourself in her place," Kaidi said. She stepped closer to the canyon's edge, so that she and Sarafina were only a whisker's length apart. "I imagine you meant this in some symbolically ritualistic way, but I'd like to see you fulfill that promise in a way that really matters- in reality. I've learned from my sojourn here that your pride has another hallowed tradition, one that also rewards violence." She shook her head in disgust. "Only weeks ago, I would have opposed this entirely. But this miserable pride has finally broken me. I guess I really am a Pridelander now."
Kaidi's speech seemed to have ripped Sarafina from her stupor. She now cast quick, frightened glances at the two things that now seemed to have become her entire universe: the snarling lioness before her, and the dangerous drop behind. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.
"Any lion, even from another pride, can challenge the rulers of the Pridelands for their crown," Kaidi said. "But sovereignty means nothing to me. I just want to see you dead- for Scar to finally realize the torment he's put me through." She backed away from Sarafina, allowing her to nervously take a few steps from the canyon's edge. "Queen Sarafina, I formally challenge you. Now fight me, and prove yourself a queen in more than title."
Sarafina shook her head. She spoke again, this time loud enough to be heard. "No."
"I didn't want it to have to come to this," Kaidi said. "I'm going to count to three. Then I'll fight you, whether you want it or not." She was suddenly reminded of how she used to punish Tama- a comparison that only made her angrier.
"No, you can't mean this! I refuse!" Sarafina was shouting now, but it made no difference- they were too far from Pride Rock to be heard.
"One..."
"I've never done anything to you!"
"...two..."
"Please, Kaidi, don't do this!"
"...three."
There was one possible outcome of the plan that hadn't been taken into account. Before Kaidi could attack, Sarafina leapt into the canyon.
Even as a cub, Sarafina had never sought risks or adventure. She enjoyed the comfort and routine of everyday life, and saw no reason to run headlong into danger. Besides, she'd always imagined that she'd become helpless in any situation she wasn't prepared for, paralyzed with fright. But now, as she plunged into the canyon, all doubts and worries vanished. One thought took precedence over all others- a thought that was entirely an urge to survive. She'd have to sink her claws into the wall of the canyon and not let go.
She'd been unaware that she had extended her claws to gain traction when she made the split-second decision to jump. Now, as potential death approached and seconds stretched into hours, she became acutely aware of this fact. Perhaps Kaidi had actually shown some mercy by allowing her to move from the very edge of the canyon, for now she had a fighting chance of getting a hold of the wall.
A ledge was swiftly rising into her field of vision. She stretched her left foreleg to the side as far as she could, while her muscles ached and all survival plans became a fervent hope that she could make it. The first thing she became aware of was that she was no longer falling. Next came the stabbing pain from her claws being embedded in the rock. After the rush of terror she'd just experienced, this sensation came as a welcome relief.
Her leg ached from the strain of supporting her entire weight, but Sarafina was content to remain in this position for a few seconds longer. As she hung from the side of the canyon, panting, she chanced to look down. The dizzying drop she'd observed only moments ago was now slightly lessened, but a fall from her position would still be dangerous. She made up her mind to get fully onto the ledge, and twisted her body slightly upwards, digging the claws of her right foreleg into the rock as well. Halfway there, she told herself. The worst is over.
She dug her hind claws into the side of the ledge, relieved that now all four limbs had a firm hold on the wall. The work of pulling herself onto the ledge would be difficult, but she could manage. She'd have to. She dislodged the claws of her left foreleg from the rock, then plunged them just slightly farther, close to the center of the ledge. She repeated this process with her right foreleg, then scrabbled to find another hold for her hind legs as she climbed higher on the ledge's side. It didn't seem possible for her to pull herself all the way up yet.
Sarafina lifted her left foreleg and stretched it farther, driving her claws into the rock of the ledge once again. This time, she felt not the familiar pain that signified a sure hold, but the uneasy, tilting sensation of falling as that part of the rock crumbled away beneath her paw. Now she was hanging by three legs, the other dangling by her side. There was nothing but a straight drop to the ground beneath her. Her breathing became shallow and rapid, and she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. She reassured herself that she still had three solid holds. She reminded herself how far she had come already. She let go anyway.
It was fear that had caused her to act so irrationally, but the greater fear that arose from falling helped bring her back to her senses. She struck out for the wall again, but this time she wasn't so lucky. Her claws merely scratched the side of the canyon; the ledge had projected too far out for her to now get a solid grip on the wall. Sarafina slammed into one of the rocks at the bottom of the canyon, landing on her side. The swift fall followed by immediate stillness seemed so unusual to her that it took her several seconds to fully comprehend what had happened. It was the pain that brought her back to earth.
At first, as she lay there with eyes closed, it seemed that her entire body had become a pulsing mass of pain. The longer she remained still and silent, however, the easier it became to realize exactly where she was injured. She'd never broken any bones before, but she was sure she had now. One of her back legs- it hurt too much to tell which- could no longer support her, and she quickly abandoned all efforts to stand. Her forelegs seemed comparatively better, but one area of a paw felt excessively tender. A front claw had snapped off. She tasted blood- she must have bitten her tongue. Most of all though, her side hurt, worse than she'd ever felt before, especially when she breathed. Broken ribs, she guessed. With great effort, she turned to her other side and opened her eyes halfway.
Tan fur around the wound that stretched along her side, red pool she lay in, white of exposed bone, black as she closed her eyes again.
It felt like several hours had passed by the time she heard Kaidi slowly padding toward her, though Sarafina knew it must have only been a couple of minutes. There had probably been a slope somewhere farther down that had allowed her easy entrance to the canyon, but it was too late for that to matter. It was too late for everything.
All went silent, and Sarafina knew without looking that Kaidi had paused in front of her. No amount of begging or promises would work now. She was going to die no matter what; it was only a question of how soon death would come. But she refused to take it in silence. There was still something that had to be said.
"Scar doesn't either, you know," Sarafina muttered. "Doesn't care about me. You thought you were getting revenge on him- it was only Nala. You've finally put me in her place, but you've managed to ruin her life, too. You've killed the only lion who was willing to love and protect her, probably the only Pridelander who doesn't hate her by now. Everything I did was to save her life, but in the end, it seems I just made it worse." Even in so much pain, she couldn't help being annoyed at how composed and confident she sounded now, of all times. "You've made all my efforts useless; you've finally won. Go ahead and kill me, Queen Kaidi."
Sarafina forced her eyes open again; it seemed the least she could do was watch her final moments. She had expected to see Kaidi's triumphant grin, or maybe just an orange streak as her claws honed in on her throat. The last thing she expected was to see Kaidi recoil in shock. Sarafina only caught a brief view of her horrified expression before the other lioness turned and fled from the canyon. There must have been some reason for it, but she was too exhausted now to ponder it.
There was nothing left to do but wait for death. Kaidi might as well have killed her, for the end result was still the same: Nala would be all alone. Still, Sarafina couldn't help smiling bitterly as she rested her head on her paws. I suppose I won the fight, after all.
"Queen Sarafina," she muttered to herself, closing her eyes again. "Queen in death, at least."
Lia stood on the ridge of the Elephant Graveyard. She still couldn't imagine herself in there, weaving around skulls and climbing over tusks as she escaped from the site of Scar's murder. Neither could she view her current situation as an improvement. It seemed that everything she'd attempted recently had ended in failure. Viewing the graveyard, then, was almost a sort of comfort. The great creatures that had once thundered over the Pridelands now had nothing to commemorate their lives but decaying bones, homes for hyenas. At least she hadn't had as far to fall.
She turned her gaze farther up. Only a moment ago, she thought she had seen the flash of Kaidi's bright fur just at the border of her field of vision. She rolled her eyes. There was nothing there. The sun was just coming up; she'd have to return to Pride Rock before the hunt began.
Even as she told herself to resist the pull of habit, she found herself approaching the edge of the canyon once again. This instance of weakness wasn't entirely unwelcome. Lia knew she was dwelling on the past, and that it would only make it harder for her to move on. But this routine had become a source of comfort- one of the few elements in her life that was entirely dependable. When she looked into the canyon, she could believe that she wasn't useless or a failure. She could convince herself that maybe Kaidi would return, so they could put their plan into action and abandon their tortured pasts once and for all.
She gingerly reached the canyon's edge, still wary of the terrifying drop. How had she ever believed that she could fight Scar so close to the edge and come away victorious, even with another's help? She peered down, unable to keep herself from expecting to see Kaidi striding confidently so far below. Maybe she'd never get over it. The past few days had made Lia accustomed to the appearance of the canyon, and she was able to realize quickly that something was out of place. There was a lioness down there!
The lioness was on top of one of the dangerous rocks that lined the bottom of the canyon, lying in a pool of blood. Even from so high up, Lia could see the deep wound in her side. She couldn't tell if the lioness was still alive or not- her vantage point made it impossible to make out specific details. One of the only things she could clearly see filled her with fear. It was the color of her fur, lighter than the rest of the lionesses in the pride- Sarafina. The last time Lia had seen so much blood on a lion was the night of the ritual. She had been unable to do more than turn away when Scar killed her son, believing she had no other choice. But she refused to make the same mistake twice.
She looked around frantically, hoping to see someone else who was willing to make the journey to Rafiki's baobab tree. The other lionesses were still at Pride Rock, and she could see no creatures other than herself who had the strength for the travel. She wouldn't leave Sarafina behind, though- not when she had the chance to actually make a difference. Lia roared now, hoping to catch the attention of anyone who could come to her aid.
After what seemed an eternity, she saw Zazu overhead, evidently collecting information for one of his morning reports. She roared again, scarcely noticing as the hornbill swooped down to her level and inquired what was wrong. Lia didn't pay attention to anything around her; Sarafina's prone body was all she could see. Her words came out in a frantic, jumbled stream as she told Zazu that Sarafina's really hurt I think she fell on a rock she's at the bottom of the canyon it might be too late there's blood everywhere Great Spirit just get help now!
Nala turned over sleepily as a sunbeam streamed into the den, and pressed her paws against her eyes. She'd been dreaming about Simba again- another carefree dream where they went on an adventure, forever happy and innocent. She wanted to preserve the memory as long as possible. As she tried to recall it, however, she realized with a sigh that it was no use. The details had become hazy- all that she could remember clearly was that Simba had been in it, his voice and appearance the same as they'd been when she saw him last. Clambering to her paws, she blinked wearily as she looked around the empty den.
Simba's death had never stopped hurting, although the intervening days and her royal training had made it easier to forget. Her days were so filled with hunting practices, patrols, and lessons about royal protocol and lore that often she could go days without him entering her mind. But sometimes when she learned a particularly interesting bit of information, she'd think excitedly that Simba just had to hear it- and then would remember with a sinking feeling that he never could. Dreams were the worst, though. During her dreams, the fact that her best friend was dead never entered her mind. Why would it when he was right there, as playful and confident and alive as ever? When she woke, reality would settle in, and her dreams would fade no matter how quickly she attempted to fix them in her memory. It was impossible to ignore the grief his death had brought her when she could remember so exactly the joy he had given her when he was alive.
Now fully alert, she shivered as she became aware of the den's emptiness. Nala had never had to wake up alone. During her happier days, she'd slept among all the other lionesses in the communal den, Simba not far away. Since she became Scar's heir, she'd spent her nights curled up against Sarafina's side, her mother's paw sometimes resting on her back. She made her way out of the den, wondering at how quiet it was. Though she never cared to listen to Zazu's morning report, normally she'd be woken up by it by now. She crept down the slope of Pride Rock, seeing no sign of any of the pride. Something was wrong.
As she reached the bottom of the slope, she saw Tojo's mother a short distance away, speaking to Scar. Farther off were the other lionesses, who seemed to be listening to Rafiki and Zazu. She was too far away to see if her mother was among them. As always, groups of hyenas skulked around the area, though none made any move to interact with the lionesses. Nala moved closer to Lia and Scar. Her mother wouldn't approve of her eavesdropping, but she had to find out what was going on.
"But by the time he got there, it was too late," Lia said. "She'd lost too much blood. He said she must have been dead for several hours before I found her."
Nala hid behind a nearby rock at these words. This was the sort of conversation her mother would never allow her to hear, and though the lions hadn't seemed to notice her, she didn't want to be found out. She peeked around the rock, wondering with a guilty, morbid curiosity which pride member had died.
"I see," Scar said. His face betrayed no emotion. "Well, Lia, you're our resident expert. Do you think this was another instance of suicide?"
Lia's eyes narrowed in anger, and Nala was sure that if anyone but King Scar had said this, they'd have had her claws in their throat by now. "I think she jumped," she began, "but I don't think she did it to kill herself. While Rafiki was examining her, I saw some paw prints in the dust of the canyon that led up to her, and then away. They were definitely from a lioness. I think she might've been frightened or coerced into jumping."
"I seem to recall Kaidi calling on you several times while you were recovering some time ago," Scar began. "Oh, don't look so surprised. Perhaps I'm being presumptuous, but it seems you knew her better than anyone else. You may have heard rumors about her exile. They're true. I couldn't allow her insubordination in my kingdom. Is there any chance she might have done this out of some misguided notion of revenge?"
"I don't know," Lia said. Nala was impressed with how much contempt she managed to pack into such a short statement. "I just don't think that's her style. She always tried to take things on directly- like with the ritual. I mean, she hated you, but I don't think she had any grudge against Sarafina."
Nala felt as though her heart had stopped. She couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't even cry. Recent events should have prepared her for this, she thought- first Simba and Mufasa, then all her friends- but she supposed she hadn't grown as hardened to death as she'd hoped. Last night she hadn't spoken to her mother. Hunting practice had tired her out, and she'd fallen asleep almost as soon as she entered the den. She hadn't even told her she loved her. As Nala crouched behind the rock, feeling frozen in place, she continued listening to the conversation, hearing all the words but not quite comprehending the meaning. All thoughts had been replaced by a desperate mantra: Please, Great Spirit, not my mother, too!
"Banzai!" Scar called to one of the hyenas nearest Pride Rock. A hyena sauntered up to him, one who had been among the group that chased her through the Elephant Graveyard so long ago.
"Yeah, boss?"
"Here's a fine chance for you to make reparation for your clan's dismal skill at guarding the borders," Scar said. "Go with your comrades and capture Kaidi, the exile. It seems she's upgraded from mere disrespect to regicide."
"And whatta ya want us to do if- no, no, when- we catch her?"
"Anything you like," Scar said. "Consider that your reward."
"Sure thing!" Banzai ran off to the two other hyenas Nala recognized, while Lia and Scar faced each other uncertainly. It seemed each believed the other had something to say.
Nala knew they'd go looking for her soon, believing her to be still asleep in the den. Somehow the prospect of receiving the news a second time made things even worse. She couldn't move from behind the rock. She couldn't stop her heart from racing, her breathing from coming out ragged and quick. She tried to calm herself down, but her paltry efforts only seemed to aggravate her grief and make her agitation worse. Her tail swished from side to side, her teeth clamped together, her claws retracted and extended rapidly: in-out, in-out.
Thinking about how she'd lost so many she loved in such a short time brought back a sudden memory, a memory of a morning she hadn't thought of in detail since it occurred. It was the morning she learned of how her friends had been killed by hyenas, and was informed that Scar had chosen her as his heir. Sarafina's reassuring words returned to her, words that seemed more poignant now that the Great Spirit had taken her away as well: Surely the Great Spirit set you apart for a reason. You're a princess now.
Maybe mourning and hiding behind a rock were suitable behaviors for the careless, naïve Nala of long ago. But she now knew that she was the future queen of the Pridelands. In a short time, she'd have to be a leader and huntress and protector, all in one. If the Great Spirit felt she needed to be tested, she'd accept whatever trials she was given. She'd do it for Simba and Mufasa, for her friends, for all the Great Kings of the Past, and especially for her mother. She'd show Scar and everyone else that he had not erred in selecting her, that she could live up to the glorious reputations of all who had come before. She'd take on the first challenge that came her way, with grace and finesse, and make everyone proud.
This opportunity came sooner than she expected. "I suppose one of us should go tell Nala," Lia said.
Nala swiftly leapt onto the top of the rock, trying her best to emulate the regal bearing Sarabi had had in happier times. "That won't be necessary," she intoned calmly.
If the situation had been any different, she would have laughed at how easily she was able to elicit such shocked looks from the two lions before her. Scar couldn't have done it any better himself.
