"SO testosterone boys and harliquin girls, will you dance to this beat and hold a LOVER CLOSE.!.. lets get these teen hearts beating fast and faster.." -Lying is the Best Way a Girl Can Have Fun Without Taking Off Her Clothes _Panic! At the Disco.!

so happy day after National Pancake Day.!and 37 days till Six Flags opens.! and HA BITCHES in getting first ride on Kingda Ka of the season.! what now.! SO ANWAY.! this is chapter 9 if you didnt guess that already.. this is another kinda serious chapter. Jerome and Sarah-ness in this one again and this chapter is going to clear up the chapter before if it was a little fuzzy. (soweryyy.) And like i added the songs last chpt. its cold by crossfade, not code. (sorry typoo.) so gottsted a questionn... WHO LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO.! cause i love em.! especially the lead singer Brendon. (hes mad hott, no jokee.) anyway..

littlequestie1237: lmfaooo.! ahaaa.! im glad you liked the last chapter alot i hope you like this chapter jsut as much. :)

grace: ahahahaa. loll. no probb mentioning youuu. just thot i wuld responddd lmfaooo.! :)

cool435: Oh mii goodness.! You comment was soo funny your commment and ik what you mean i got a 5 year old brother and a 10 year old sister. -.- I really lovedd ur comment like i couldnt stop laughinggg. I know i heard there is going to be a second season and i really hope that its trueee. :) oh i did starting writing a degrassi fanfiction but i never got around to finishing it. oh well. loll.!

so anyway, not much to say today. ill update as soon as i can lovelies.! 3

so now here is Chapter 9: Code Of Bushido (anyone who is in 9th grade or any grade above you probably know or maybe used to know what that is from global history and for anyone who dosent know what that is, in global history you lear about Japan and the feudal system and like the samuris had a code just like the knights had the code of shiverly called the code of bushido, and in one of the last lines of the 2nd to last paragraph i think i say like a quote from the code or some shitt. i dunno i learned it in school yesterday.. whateverr.. to much educational shiit. ) yeah so kbyeee.! :)


My eyes had gone dry soon after my whole episode. Not because I didn't care anymore, I kinda ran out of tears to cry with. Like no more water would leak from my eyes. I just sat, leaned up in the corner.
"What are you doing out here?" a voice asked. I looked up, it was Patricia. Ugh. What does she want? I mean nothing against Patricia, she has been nicer over time but we don't have like a friendship. She has changed since day one.. But yet so have I.

"Oh, just studying the rain for.. Science."

"Yeah whatever, I saw you yelling at Jerome, don't know what about but sounded crazy."
l tried to laugh it off.

"Just got into a little argument."

"That slime ball always likes to pick a fight." she came and sat down next to me. "seem different round you though." she shrugged her shoulders. "seen him look at you like no one else."

"Why are you tell me this Patricia?" I sniffled.

"I dunno, you seem like one of the few he cares about, and Jerome don't care about much." Patricia seemed a little off. "Kids got major issues." she snorted. "Needs a good punch in the gut." never mind she's normal.
I laughed a bit. And I have to say, that was the first time I laughed in weeks.

"Thanks Patricia." I smiled.

"yeah well." she stood up. "I'm gunna go throw darts at Backstreet Boyz pictures. See ya." Patricia left to inside the house. It was nice of Patricia to do that, maybe she isn't as mean as everyone cracks her up to be. I thought back to my.. I dunno can you even call it a fight? Well me and Jerome's disagreement.. God.. I was so stupid.. I told him everything, and now I can't even look at the kid without feeling weird. Like I said, the truth hurts, but I felt like I had recapped my whole admition about everything. It cleared alot of things up for me, maybe I could try and assimilate back into the world and try to serve a purpose in society instead of negatively influencing the future of the word and talking up oxygen. I finally pulled myself together and made my way inside to my room. (yes we had figured out the rooming situation by adding an extra like day bed so it didn't take up too much space. The flag pillow and green blanket did lie on the corner of the mattress. I changed out of my uniform and into my pajamas. I wore a black tank with a slightly larger neon green one underneath with my fleece Xbox 360 pants. Which was the coziest pair I had and reminded me of home for some reason. Up in Maine, I would just usually come home and change into these pants and play COD. Yep, that was about all the interaction I had in the world.. I did get very good at first person shooters though. I probably should go down for dinner, but if Patricia could hear us fight, then the rest of the house probably did. I felt my stomach grumble. Ya know, this wouldn't be a problem if this country had god damn Twinkies. I mean they're filled with like a lot of chemicals and whatever but it did hold me over for an hour till I got glutonus and ate the rest of the box and then lying on the couch with my stomach killing me and saying "I'll never do that again." and do it again tomorrow. My stomach growled again. Shut up tummy.! I know your hungery but be patient and wait.! I sat down on my bed. Ugh, food would be pleasant at the moment. I then heard voices outside my door and then the handle turn opening to see Nina and Fabian. "Sarah, we know when were going to destroy the cup!" Nina smiled.

"When?" c'mon girl just tell me a date.

"well not next week but the week after we have two days off because it's teacher and staff day where all teachers and staff are at school for an overnight retreat.!"

"That's perfect!" I smiled. They both gave a bit of a shocked face. It's was because a. I haven't had an emotion in weeks or b. They knew about the fight and think I'm a wacko for being all smiley. "Umm is dinner over.? I just wanted to go get an apple?"

"Yeah bu-"

"Thanks." I cut her off and headed down into the kitchen. I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. Then I heard voices. I backed up and hid behind the laundry room door and left it open crack so I could hear.

"Never mind guess she's not down here." it was Fabians voice. "What did happen we all heard a quite a bit of yelling" Was he with Jerome?

"Nothing." Jerome's voice grumbled.

"Listen I can't help you if you don't tell me." Fabian told him. I heard a breath.

"Sarah, you know how I've been hanging with her lately." It was Jerome's voice again "listen you don't tell anyone this, got it? Or I will personally hang you from the flag pole. I really do like her, but I totally screwed up and I hurt her so bad."

"What happened to Mara?-"

"God, why does everyone use my stupid past crush on Mara against me? I mean you had the same thing with Joy until she 'disappeared' then Nina waltzes in and you're head over heels for the girl, barley know her and you knew you loved her, why can't I feel the same?" this didn't even sound like the Jerome I know, well maybe the serious side of Jerome that rarely came out of hiding, but not goofy Jerome or harsh icy Jerome.

"Well, why don't you tell her that?" Oh Fabian, he just gives the standard advice anyone would give.

"Of course I tried, but I think I ruined it by telling her about Mara.. And she didn't believe me, she thought what I was saying wasn't true."

"Well why would you tell her about Mara!" Fabian scolded him. "That's really stupid."

"I don't know why, I just.."

"Wasn't thinking?"

"Yes but, I mean, I guess I thought she didn't feel the same, I mean have you seen her? She could get any guy in this school no problem. And now I wrecked everything, this one girl, she's just so..Spontaneous and different, completely different than what I'm used to."

"And you have seemed a bit more I dunno, more relaxed, you haven't been pranking with Alfie or anything, just been hanging out with her.. Well until she kinda switched up her mood." Thanks for pointing up the obvious. "Hey but just listen, you probably told her at the wrong time." That's exactly it. "Just try and approach her again and tell her how you feel."

"Thanks man." I heard Jerome mumble. I heard footsteps leave the room, I peaked my head out of the door to see that Jerome was still leaned up against the island in the kitchen. This couldn't be true what he was saying. He told me how madly in love he was with Mara.. was.. But there was no way he could of felt the same way. And why did Fabian even get involved.. Oh, maybe that was what Nina was trying to tell me when I cut her off, whoopsy, and Jerome probably couldn't talk to Alfie about this since he takes nothing seriously. But still, Jerome just couldn't feel the way I do, I mean like really. Jerome didn't look like was moving anytime soon and I was getting claustrophobic in that little laundry room. I had to get out. But Jerome had to leave; it was too soon to talk to him. But it was hard to believe him, what he told Fabian. He loved Mara, he had always loved her. Why sudden change in opinion? That's all I wanted to know. I slowly opened the laundry room door. And leaned against the wall right before entering the open kitchen. I heard Jerome breath out an 'it's not fair.' ugh. If we don't talk now it's just gunna get worse isn't? I walked out of the corner and silently to the island in the middle of the kitchen, leaned up against in the opposite direction.

"Life isn't fair." I mumbled walking past him. The adrenaline kicked up inside me. I think I'm bi polar on top of the scarred one shit and the necromancing and screwed up family. I mean a good 4 hours ago he broke me down into pieces. I walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway I felt something push down into both my collar bones and into the way. I felt my stomach jump at the unexpected event, feeling a little sick. It was Jerome, holding me firm against the wall so I wouldn't move. "let me go or I'll scream." I threaten.

"You will do no such thing." he countered back. What was up with this kid. He just kept pulling moves out of left field.

"I don't want to start another fight Jerome. Let me go."

"You can't just yell at me like you did before and not give me a last say Sarah."

"Can, will and did. Now let me go!" I tried to push back from the wall only to be re-smacked back into it.

"It's my turn to talk."

"I've heard enough."

"Jerome, can I just ask you one question hmm? This right now." I used whatever mobility I had in my arms to point back and forth to each other. "It not what I need to deal with right now."

"It's what I need to deal with right now."

"This can wait; I do have more important things to focus on." I didn't know if I was lying or not, Honestly, I couldn't tell myself.

"Right, like history homework." he mocked

"Like me and my family dying." I said darkly. The force of his hands lighted.

"Sarah-"

"Forget it." rudely came out of my mouth, crossing my arms and looking the other way.

"Sarah, you heard me talking to Fabian, why don't believe me?"

"Because I have grown smart enough to know what's true and are lies. But see the thing about you is I can't find the difference in your words and it bothers me."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Because the people who usually love and care about you the most tell you the truth is lies to make you feel better."

"You just said it yourself that I love and care about you!" he twisted my words.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"What is really keeping you from believing me?" Jerome it's not that I don't believe you, it's just.. I didn't say anything to get what- or who my answer was.

"Sarah! Mara is not-"

"Not what? Not interested in you so second best is better than nobody." he held me tighter against the wall. I flinched at the stregth he had.

"Stop it. Stop putting yourself down. You're so good at accepting bad things, that you turn the good ones nasty so they're easier to cope with, because that's all you know what to do." I looked down at the floor, unknowing what to say cause he's right. That's what I do. I know that's what I do. "Now look at me and listen to my words very carefully." my shoulders had gone numb and pins and needles were traveling down my arm slowly. Loosing feeling in my fingertips. "You mean more to me than anything. I've told you that before, and you joked away your around it. I'm being serious, nothing else matters I just want you to believe me Sarah." now it wasn't believing it that was the hard part, it was accepting it. I was very good at accepting things but, this was one thing that made this difficult. I kept my eyes off his; the mood in his eyes would just give me the chills. I had finally lost all feeling in the arms, making it hard to talk as well.

"Your right, the one thing I do best is make something good turn bad. And I can't help but do that. I mean you read my father's letters. I just want.." I just want what Nina and Fabian have. Just like before, that's all I want.

"you told me how you felt, Sarah, and I just never thought you'd think of me that way, I mean no one ever did." he said a bit quieter. Something always told me to push away people, certain people to. And that little voice in the back of my mind was screaming it.

"I shouldn't of told you that. It's just another reason to gain an attachment to me and it will make it worse in the end." those words didn't even process in my mind before I said them but then I thought it over. What if I don't destroy the cup? I die and I would want everyone to soon move from the thought of me. I mean I think that's why that voice tells me that. So I don't hurt anybody.
"Sarah, what Are you talking about end, you're And time in Anubis is not ending anytime soon." if Jerome needed a reason I'd give to him.

"What if I don't destroy the cup soon enough and I die? I don't need you to have any sort if feelings for me. I don't want anyone to. I don't want anyone to feel guilty for anything I wanted to be the same before I came here when I leave. No matter how much I want to be with you Jerome, go back to Mara, she is someone who will never let you fall." I felt my words get shaky. He shook his head, not trying to accept my words. His grip loosed enough for blood to rush back throughout my veins. He looked like he was about to say something.

"Please, just don't, I'm not worth the confusion and heart ache I cause. Just go."

"Your worth it all Sarah." his words only made me cry more.

"Jerome, please." I slipped out from under his hands walking down the hall wiping my tears from my eye. I looked back for a second and saw him stand there; pushing back his hair with his hand and the other leaned against the hallway wall. I'm sorry Jerome. I know it hurts now, but I'm not going to let this affect you. This is my fight. 'If you think of saving your life, you better not go to war at all..' guess my history textbook actually penetrated part of my head. This Egyptian shit is jsut a war, and guess who the little warrior fighting to the death? yep.. fun right? And as much as I did want to be with Jerome, its better off this way.. I guess..

I lay in bed, just unable to sleep. Just keep fighting back in forth in my mind. Go talk to him. No shut up stupid voices. You should be with the one you want. I don't get anything I want, why should it be different now? He feels the same. No..He can't. Just go and listen to him. I can't risk anything. You know you love him.. You know he's the boy in dad's letters. I refuse to accept that. I refuse.


yeah so hii. i hoped you like it. sorry if im moving to fast widhff Sarah and Jerome, but there is something i have like planed out but i needed them to talk first before writing the other thing i need to right after they talk which im not telling what it is.! HAPPY DAY AFTER NATIONAL PANCAKE DAY.! REVEIW AND YOU GET A FREE PANCAKE FROM IHOP.! (well yesterday..)