Ch. 9

Shelby woke to her alarm blaring, a loud repetitive sound that made her want to beat it until it broke. She jumped, startled, and felt a weight on her lap. Fluttering her eyes open, she realized it was her laptop. Memories of the night before flooded back to her quickly. She hadn't been able to sleep, had typed and retyped an email to Cassandra over and over. Although she'd never felt happy enough with it to hit "send", she finally fell asleep around three.

When she had first moved in with Garrett, they'd shared a bedroom and a bed, to her distaste. After about six months he realized that she was never going to sleep with him again or change in front of him (she always snuck into the bathroom) or sleep anywhere near him if she could help it; she'd risked nearly falling off the bed every night just to stay as far away from him as she could, and most nights she didn't sleep at all. It didn't matter how he treated her, she refused to let him see her that vulnerable again, which he eventually accepted as not worth the fight. After a while, he started looking for places with three bedrooms.

Without Cassandra sleeping next to her, Shelby had always struggled to stay asleep. More often than not, her rest was interrupted by nightmares. She was grateful Garrett didn't see that side of her, though she wasn't entirely convinced he didn't have a camera hidden in her bedroom somewhere.

That would be just like him, the pervert. That's probably why he lets me have a room to myself…. Annoyed that she hadn't thought of it sooner, she looked around the room for any sign of a camera. She knew he'd done it to her once before, a few houses back, and at the time he'd been in such rare form that she hadn't even confronted him about it. Nowhere is safe.

With a sigh, she smacked her alarm off and pulled herself out of bed, shoving her laptop to the side. She wondered, as she stomped to the bathroom to get ready for the day, if Santana and Rachel were even going to show up at school. She wasn't going to get her hopes up. That was something she stopped doing a long time ago.

. . .

"Rachel, Santana," Holly stood at the doorway of Rachel's bedroom. The girls had crashed late at night, sprawled carelessly across Rachel's bed. They looked so tired she hated to wake them. "Rise and shine. School day."

Rachel moaned and pulled her pillow over her head. "I'm not going to school." she informed Holly confidently.

"Rach, babe, come on, you can't let her win."

"If I go to school, she wins." Rachel said, the sound slightly muffled in her pillow. "I refuse to give her the satisfaction."

"You have other classes besides Shelby's, Rach." Holly sighed heavily; she desperately needed her morning cup of coffee, especially before she dealt with Cassandra. She took a step into the room and reached over onto the bed, tapping Santana's thigh lightly to wake her. "Up up, buttercup, it's a brand new day. Let's try to make something good out of it, okay? Can we just try? Besides, where Shelby is, I'm not sure she's ever actually winning anything."

Santana lifted her head, slowly, adjusting to her surroundings. "Rach I thought we weren't going today."

"That was the plan." Rachel mumbled. Even if she did believe Shelby's story, that didn't take away the pain she felt every time she saw the woman's face. She wanted to get her out of that situation, but she also wasn't sure how. It was all just this overwhelming amount of emotion being thrown at her from every direction, and she wasn't ready to face any of it head on.

"Well plans change, hun. You have to go to school."

Santana sat up and dragged Rachel into a sitting position with her, fixing the short brunette's bed head with a small half smile.

Rach turned her head to look at Holly, who was clearly exhausted. She pitied her
"aunt" for having to deal with Cass the night before. That cannot have been a pleasant experience, and Rachel almost felt bad for leaving the two of them alone. She was sure her attitude wasn't making anything easier, so she let out a sigh of compliance.

"Fine. I'll go to Shelby's stupid music class. But don't expect me to participate."

"Don't be upset with me, Babs. It's out of my control now. But you need an education whether Shelby's there or not."

"But I know music." Rachel protested. At this point, Santana had gotten up and gone to the bathroom to start getting ready. She wasn't going to argue with Holly—it was rare that Holly ever lost, and she just didn't have the energy to fight.

"Look, Rach." Holly sat down on the bed next to Rachel. "You don't have to treat her like she's your mother. You don't have to act like you're excited to be there, you just have to show up and pass the class. Shelby, no matter how much I may hate her for what she did, is an incredible music teacher. If you listen to her teaching advice and ignore the fact that she gave birth to you, you could actually learn a lot."

"Learn how to make mistakes, maybe." Rachel muttered bitterly.

Sympathetically, Holly kissed her forehead. "I know you don't know her very well, but I do. At least, I did. She never cried, ever. She was honest, and loyal, and she loved all of us very much. As pissed as I am…I believe her story. That doesn't mean you have to like her. Just…I don't know. Maybe cut her a little slack until you can prove she's lying to you." Rachel continued to stare, dumbfounded. In the years that Shelby hadn't been there, that was the most that Holly had ever said about her. "Please just get ready, Rach. I have to go make sure your other mother isn't trying to drown herself in alcohol yet."

"Yet?" Rach dragged herself out of bed and started stripping, looking in her dresser for a shirt to wear and trying to picture Shelby in a better light. If Holly was defending her, then she must have been an incredible person before all of this went down. Rachel had only ever seen Shelby as evil, and she knew that was unfair.

"Yet." Holly pressed her lips together and made her way out to the kitchen where Cassandra was drinking coffee and nursing a headache.

"I'm sorry." She whispered when Holly entered the room, realizing what she had done the night before.

"It's okay, Cassie, baby. Just another set-back. Let's refrain from doing it again, okay? Please tell me that coffee isn't spiked." She glanced over at Cass's travel mug, all of her words flowing together.

"It's not," Cass shifted in her seat and took another drink. She had already taken four Ibuprofen in attempt to get rid of her headache. They were taking their own sweet time getting to work. "I hate what she does to me."

"It isn't your fault," Holly reminded her, pouring herself some coffee. "You can't control who you fall in love with, Cassie. She charmed all of us. Constantly…."

Cass took another drink and sighed, her headache seemed to be getting worse, not better, but her heart skipped at the mental image of Shelby, charming Shelby. Sexy Shelby. The one who stole her heart and never gave it back.

"I really, really miss her, Holly. Now that she's here again…I'm so weak for wanting to take her back. I know that. But I believe her. And she looks like she's in so much pain. If she's being honest about everything, which she has no reason not to be…she's crying out for help. More help than we can give her. I'm not sure if she wants us to step in or if she just wants help getting out of that situation in general. Whichever one it is…I want her in my life."

Cass picked an apple out of the bowl on the counter and bit into it, chewing slowly. "And poor Rachel, I know she doesn't deserve this. She was so young at the time..."

"I know," Holly sighed and looked at Cass with sad eyes. "I know. The thing is, she never got to know Shelby like we did, so she doesn't know that it's very possible she's telling the truth…"

Cassandra's neck cracked when she snapped her head up abruptly. "So you do believe her?"

Holly caught the hesitation in her voice. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. "She's bad news, I know. But what if she's telling the truth and she's being abused in that house? Doesn't that make sense to you?"

"Of course it does. I spent years asking myself why Shelby's personality would change so suddenly, it makes so much more sense than anything else I could've come up with…"

"Forgiveness is a big word, too." Holly added, making sure Cassandra weighed all her options before deciding how she truly felt.

"That's why I haven't used it yet," the woman bit the inside of her lower lip. "We'll keep an eye on her behavior. See if anything matches up."

"How are we going to do that if we can barely stand to look at her?" Holly demanded, peeling a banana as they spoke.

It's not our responsibility to save her. Cassandra thought to herself. You selfish bitch. You loved her, once. You know you still do. How could you let her stay in that house knowing how she's treated there? Knowing how guilty she is and understanding that she's just as heartbroken as you are? Get the hell over yourself.

It's a trap. You know it's a trap. Don't fall for her games. She's an actress and she's playing you.

Cass moved her long blonde hair out of her face and stood, stretching her arms up to the ceiling and sighing. "I'm going to work." she kissed Holly's cheek. "Thanks for looking after us. I'm sorry we ruined your life."

"You didn't," Holly smiled faintly, shaking her head from side to side. "You guys are my life."

"Okay," Cass accepted at a whisper, shutting the front door slowly behind her.