|Love Is Just Another Way To Die Slowly|

"You are ready, Warrior. Here is your blade."

Jason took it and chose Liza first. In one fluid motion, he grabbed her head to hold it in place and pressed the blade against her neck. The woman gasped, fresh new tears springing to her eyes.

"No. Jas! Please! Please... please." She whimpered, struggling weakly to get away from the knife. "Jason! No! No, please!" The fear in her voice was raw, and Citra watched Liza look at Jason with wide, desperate green eyes.

youre taking him away from us

Citra waited with bated breath. Waited and waited.

so close

together forever

A moment of stillness that last a second too long for her comfort. Citra was about to say something, but stopped when he sliced the outsider's neck. Blood spurted out, staining his pale face. Citra looked at Jason in indescribable shock, her own blood flowing down her neck.

"Jas...on." Citra choked out, before her eyes rolled back and her head dropped. The legs supporting her gave out; her arms stretching from the weight of the dead girl. Citra stood by, watching herself die.

It is over. Citra lost, and now Vaas is hers. All hers.

"Prepare the tatau." She ordered, walking over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he looked at her. His eyes were wild, with an intense anger that burned through her chest and into her soul. She had to admit, for a moment she thought he wasn't going to do it. How foolish of her to think so. Vaas would never betray her again. He never did.

She took his hand, the one holding the knife and uncurled his stiff fingers.

"Welcome home, brother." She smiled.

"No! No Jason-"

Vaas looks away from her to see the rest of the outsiders having their throats sliced by his men.

"Jason!" Riley screamed, pulling against the ropes. Vaas stared as the young kid got a knife slammed under his jaw, silencing him.

"It is yours. The last tatau. Receive it. Take it." Citra said, gaining Vaas' attention back on her. She raised his tattooed arm, marveling at it.

"I want to be with you." Vaas mumbled, pulling her to him, his lips brushing her jaw. She's startled, but her body automatically molds into him. She could smell the blood on his face, and when he kissed her she tasted iron. Her body was humming with want, and she could feel him needing the same thing as desperately as she. But not now.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, his lips following to catch hers again. She stopped him by placing a hand against his cheek. "Not now, patience my king. Wait for me." Rakyat men approached them, waiting to lead Vaas to the last destination.

Vaas frowned and pulled her to him again, his lips brushing her ear, "Don't be long."

Citra only smiled, pushing him away softly. They left, and her handmaidens followed Citra to her quarters. She got cleaned up, and dipping her fingers into a bowl of tiger blood, started to trace red tatau on her body. Finished, she slipped on a loose maroon dress, barely concealing her skin.

citra

That voice. That forsaken voice she's heard so many times. Always calling out to her. This time, it's coming from the mirror. Citra stared at her reflection. A young girl stared back at her with smoldering eyes.

Tears rolled silently down the girls cheek, and quietly she said, "Why did you take him away from me? He belonged to me. He loves me-"

"NO!" Citra screamed, stomping her feet on the ground. "He is MINE. And you're NEVER going to take him away from me! I WON! I WON! AND YOU LOST!"

"You can't have him." The girl said, "He was never yours."

Fire hot anger burned Citra's veins, her lips pulling back in a snarl.

"I hate you." She said slowly, her voice teetering on the edge of hysterics.

"I know."

That simple response had Citra marching out of her room. The inside of her skull felt like a hundred nails were scratching against it, trying to rip their way out, release. Why could she never-

why are you doing this to yourself?

Reason what was reason she didn't need it.

Nervous?

"Citra."

Citra halted, suddenly realizing she was outside and halfway to where Vaas was waiting for her. Two guards kneeled down before her expectantly.

"What? What do you want?" She demanded.

Without looking up, one of the warriors spoke. "It is.. We return with news of Vaas." He said hesitantly.

Vaas?

"What do you mean?"

The guard looked uncomfortable, and she grew impatient. A sick feeling pooled in her stomach, making her innards twist in a gruesome way. Her chest tightened, and it was getting so hard to breath.

"What is it?" She seethed, grabbing his gun strap and jerking him up. "Tell me!"

Wordlessly, he reached inside his pocket and pulled out a familiar piece of jewelry.

Trembling, she released him. She stumbled backward like a drunkard, her eyes wide and her lips parted. Clutched in her hand, her stiff fingers cracked open. In the middle of her palm, lay an innocent glass leaf with woven buffalo strands; made by a person who spent many days patiently weaving the thick fur for the person she loved.

And she killed him. Sent to kill him. Wanted him dead. replaced him

How could you?

taking him away-fromus

Citra fell to her knees slowly, because she didn't know how to move anymore. It felt like her body was shutting down. Her vision blurred, small tears dripping onto the dirt ground. She pressed the leaf to her chest, wanting it to melt through her skin and sink into her heart. What has she done? Gods, what has she done?

"Vaas..." She moaned in despair, curling herself into a ball and rocking back and forth. "Vaas.."

How could she? How could she? Her brother- her brother her brother. Her friend, her brother, her family. Gone. How could she... how could she?

"Vaas.. he's dead?" She asked because gods she doesn't believe it. She doesn't believe it and she wants it all to be fake. Like she's been trapped in a different reality and in the real one Vaas and Tane and her father and her mother were all home by the fire waiting for her to come home. Home, home she wants to go home. This is not happening. She's tricking herself again.

"No. He is alive-"

Her head snapped up so fast some of her locks whipped in the air, smacking her back.

"Alive?" She breathed, staring bug-eyed at the guard. Frantically, she crawled to him, her knees scraping the ground but she didn't feel it. "Where? WHERE!?"

His answer didn't come fast enough and when it did it felt like a trillion years had passed.

"By his hideout. We left him in a fishing village-"

"ALONE!?" She shrieked, her fingers balling into a fist.

"No- no we left him with the village healer. We did not know what to do with him, so we came back for your orders."

Citra felt woozy, and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the swirling of the world. "Vaas is alive." She said to herself, and the guard answered with a yes. He's alive. He's alive. She breathed out deeply, dizzy with relief. He's alive, and it's over. No more Hoyt, and drugs, and war. It's all over.. and he can come back home. They both can. And together they can be reborn.

"What will we do with him?" The guard asked.

"Nothing." She said softly, getting up from the floor. She looked at the leaf again, and put it gently inside her pocket. "Have you told anyone of this?"

The guards glanced at each other and shook their heads, "No, only to you."

"Good... good." She mumbled, approaching one of the guards. Faster than he could react, she shoved the ritual knife deep into the side of his throat and jerked it out equally as fast. The man gurgled and sloppily held his hands on his throat, falling to the floor. The other guard got up in alarm, but she moved swiftly and soon he had a knife driven under his jaw, the tip of the blade poking out of his mouth. Weakly his hands slapped her face and her arms, and she watched the life drain from his terrified eyes.

She smiled. Oh how it's been too long since she's killed someone. She missed the violence of it. Citra pulled the knife out, and stepped back, letting the body fall. Slowly, she glanced back at her handmaidens who had been standing there in mute horror. She didn't forget them.

"Take care of this." She ordered, wiping the blade on the side of her skirt. She'll take care of them later. Right now, Jason is waiting for her.

Jason is not Vaas. He never was, and it was her mistake but she will correct it. Jason may not be Vaas, but he was still the warrior the priests who took her in after the "death" of her uncle told her of. Jason is perfection. He's saved them all, and she will be reborn. She will be perfect.

With each step she took, her stride quickened. Order has not be restored yet, and she must make everything perfect for Vaas' return. Everything will be perfect.

She can see him now, his body naked and pale under the moonlight.

run run before the tiger catches you

An old rhyme from a story sang in her ear, telling young women to run away from tigers who prowled in the tall grass. Run before he takes you. Go to your warrior. Run before he takes you. Tastes your flesh and rips you open. Run away little girl before it's too late.

don't do thi-

She slips off the cloth and she's only in her skirt. Jason never looks away, his eyes burning with a want that she's only seen once. In the eyes of a tiger who wanted to sink his teeth into her throat. Once in arms reach he pulls her body flush against his and he's kissing her with an intensity so strong it knocks the wind out of her. Lips locked, she feels him lift her up and down on the slab of stone.

He's kissing her too hard, as if he wants their lips to mesh together and Vaas never kissed like this. In her mind, hands are all over her touching and groping her skin. Citra's heart races, and her body tenses. Smothering, he was smothering her, touching her and her fingers are flexing open and closed. She feels her face redden when she feels his fingers down there and it feels weird and she wants to close her thighs because no one has touched her like that and only Vaas had when they were younger-

Citra tries to remain calm, but her nails drag against the stone and the stars above her are burning like the sky's on fire.

run run

Stop- stop

Citra leaves the comfort of darkness and opens her eyes. Jason's kissing her neck, and she tries to imagine it's Vaas. Vaas touching her and kissing her and they're in the dark laughing and telling made up stories about who fought five hundred tigers at once or who saw a mermaid by the sea. Eating sand because of a dare and the first one to spit it out had to be buried with only the head sticking out because Vaas used to love doing that.

They're at the beach again, drawing figures in the sand with sticks. Vaas trudges through her side, messing up her drawing. He grins at her, and she's not mad because that's what he does. He goes to her, still grinning and then he says, "You're mine."

Citra's eyes snap open at the feel of explosive pain and she bites her lip from crying out. A hand's wrapped around her neck, the other pinning her wrist down. On top of her was the tiger, it's green eyes aflame with anger and cold hatred.

he's perfection

And she will be reborn.

Her head rolls to the side, and she thinks of Vaas and the pain lessens. A moan, and Citra looks back at the tiger. But it wasn't him anymore. On top of her, moving her body like a stream, Citra stares down at her and smiles.

"We'll be reborn. We will be perfect."

we're the same can i be you?

let me in. I love YOU

I ALWAYS HAVE

Vaas is over her, moving and groaning and her mind practically melts. Her body thrums and vibrates, and she's loosing herself, letting herself sink to the bottom of the pond.

not like thi-

Pleasure makes her body squirm and wither and she wants more, more. Her eyes flutter open, her back arching. Jason's face is flushed, and he throws his head back. Sweat trickles down his chest, his skin glistening against the fire. A spark ignites inside her, and her breath hitches.

They're moving as one now, Jason or Vaas or Citra or the tiger it doesn't matter anymore. Her senses heighten, and she was hyper aware of her back sliding against stone.

this is the only way

"The Rakyat will be reborn." She moaned to the stars, "The ultimate warrior has given himself in the place of the coward Vaas."

never wanted you- leftyou

run run away

whore

A sensation overloads her mind, and it feels like she's going to explode.

"Cinta untuk anak-anak kami. Let his spirit be released for the future of our people!"

Jason groans and she squeezes her eyes shut. It was like the stars were right in front of her and her body felt alive with electricity. The feeling gradually goes away, leaving her warm inside. He's breathing hard and she's trying to catch her breath.

Weakly, he pulls out and lays beside her but she gets up and straddles his hips. Seeing him now, he truly is perfection. A warrior.

He is Her

"It is done." She says with a tone of finality.

Reaching behind her back, she withdrew the ritual blade, and raised it in the air and swung it down with both hands gripping the handle. Jason screamed painfully, blood spurting, staining his face and pooling into the dip of his collarbone. The sight of blood and Jason's spasmodic body made her want with need again, a familiar warmth heating in her lower body.

Citra, you killed me

NO, NO DON'T LOOK

Forget the horror in his eyes. Ignore the cries he's making. Don't look at the tears.

he loves her

"Hold me." All she ever wanted was for him to hold her and never, ever, leave her."You are perfection. The ultimate of your kind. And our child will lead the Rakyat."

reborn- reborn she will be reborn and this time she will be perfect

they willall look at her this time

she will be the warrior

Jason's head rolled to the side, his skin pale and deathly.

"Shhh. Rage against the darkness." She spoke softly, "You are a warrior. Die a warrior."

Jason, with what strength he had left, looked at her, his green eyes tired. He tried reaching for her, but he gave up and his head fell back, his hand joining with it.

With trails of blood, Citra gave out her last breath.

Citra smiled, "You won."

0000000000000

Jason will never be Vaas.

Jason was the perfect warrior.

Vaas is the king and the father of their child.

And Citra is reborn.

She baths in the strength of a great being. She soaks up his power, seeping into her belly. Incense fills the air, purple and pink and blue and green. The blood belongs to the great Warrior and it's still warm. It stains her naked body, and she drags her fingers down her face, sucking on them.

When she opens her eyes Vaas and Jason are beside her, touching her and touching each other. They kiss and kiss her.

They are one.

One and forever.

000000000000

Citra doesn't sleep. Instead she's sitting in a bed with Vaas' head on her lap. She's brushing his head lovingly and humming a quiet tune. The doctor says he will live, that despite the many stab wounds they all hit non-vital organs. Like the person who did it wasn't focused or was very confused.

The moon is a pale beacon over the inky sea, reminding her of the night Vaas left. It was just as big and bright as it was back then.

She leaned down and softly kissed his forehead.

"All better." She whispered.

With Vaas, everything was now perfect.

EvRYthINg


Just want to apologize for the lack of updates, college got in the way and I got a sudden attack of writers block. But it's 2 in the morning and I usually get the knack for writing in odd times. So, this took a turn to the AU. I have more to write for this story, and it will connect with another story I will be doing in the future (sometime). Can't spoil much yet.

Alright as always, thank you for reading and I hope you guys are enjoying it so far :] peace & thnks for the kind reviews. I admit it's hard writing from the view of a slightly not sane person. Still love her tho!