Day 8: Dawn

Monologue - Dawn is talking to Tara('s grave) :'(

"Tara? Hey. It's me. Dawn…Dawnie. I-I've never really done anything like this before, but…" She ran her fingers lightly over the black lettering on the headstone. "But I just really miss you. We all do. Tara, I'm scared and I'm kind of fed up with all of this. You were the only person I could ever really talk to about anything, mostly 'cause you were the only one that would actually listen. Buffy and Willow and Giles… they all say I can talk to them, that they'll always have time to listen and that they're all supportive and stuff, but when I try to talk to them it never turns out that way. They always either don't have time, or don't want to hear what I have to tell them. You were never like that Tara. God I miss you so much… Things got so scary for a while there. Willow was all addicted and Buffy was depressed. Giles was gone and Xander and Anya weren't talking and I felt like I was sinking! You were the only one who had time for me in all that mess, and then you died and it all got so screwed up! Willow was killing and the people I loved just kept dying and Tara… oh my God, Tara, none of it's getting better. Willow still isn't back from England – we don't know if she'll ever come back. Buffy's so busy she doesn't have time for me and Anya's off being vengeful. Tara, I feel like I'm drowning." The brunette was crying in earnest now, hot tears spurting down her cheeks in miserable little rivers. "I have all this stuff swirling around in my head and no one to tell it to. I feel weird talking to a piece of granite," she hiccupped slightly, "but I still feel like you're here, you know? Like you can't possibly be gone, because that's too hard. That's too scary. I can't face it if you can't hear me anymore Tara, I need you. I keep trying to be smart and keep on top of the research. I'm trying so hard in school too, and my grades picked up, not that anyone's noticed. But I hurt, Tara, all day. I hurt because I have all these feelings and no one I can talk to. Tara, I'm in love and I could never tell anyone because they're all so upset! It'd just feel so… wrong, to talk about something that's making me happy when everyone is so sad. Even if it would be a good idea, I'm not ready to tell them yet. See, Lauren is amazing. She's pretty and she's smart and she's so nice, but Buffy would freak out, I just know it. See, Tara, I need to talk to you because you're the only one that's done this before, well except Willow, but she's not even in the country. I don't know how to tell everyone, because I'm scared that they'll wig. I just keep playing the dutiful little Scooby, because it keeps me out of trouble and it means that they don't all ask questions that I can't answer." Dawn paused, placing a daisy chain on Tara's grave. "I have this philosophy, see, fairytales are different from what we all got told. A castle's not a castle and love's never what it seems. I don't need a happy ending, just a chance to do the right thing, and for it to be okay for me to screw it up. Faith is being sure of things that the rest of them can't see. It's why I believe in you still Tara, because I'll love you, even when I can't see you. I'll love you forever Tara, because you're still the only one that hears me."

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