Authors Note: It's a little sad when a story has to end, but they all do eventually. I'm really sorry for the slow update. I had the worst case of writers block. I just want to say thank you to all of you who have stuck with this story. I know it's not always easy to take the time to review, so thank you double to all of you who did. Thank you eternally to my beta, I would've had a nervous breakdown without you. And I hope you like this chapter. Happy reading:-)


The battering ram slammed into the door, bouncing off. They slammed it forward again, hearing a satisfying crack as the door frame splintered. The door sprang open and the officers rushed through. None prepared for the sight that lay before them.
His breathing was labored, the wound in his leg protesting the hurried movement. Riccoli glanced over his shoulder, sure that he would see them running after him any second. He had barely escaped, the sound of metal colliding with wood alerting him to their impending arrival.

He cursed under his breath, stumbling through the backyards of houses once luxurious and beautiful, now putrid and forgotten. Everything had gone so wrong. All his beautifully crafted plans were slipping right through his fingers. The emotions that flowed through him were fierce in their tumult, swiftly tossing his fragile psyche brutally against the crumbling walls of confidence buried deep inside. Anger and frustration burst inside him, a devastating flood of rage swept across him engulfing everything in its path.

He let out a howl of pain as he fell, his injured leg twisting torturously underneath him.


Riccoli was nowhere to be found. After the initial shock of the grizzly scene had worn off several officers had sprung into action, clearing the rest of the house. Several more officers rushed to the young woman's side. She lay on the floor, clutching her neck, blood seeping foully through her fingers and down her throat. The gash the bastard had slashed was a reasonably shallow cut, but it bled like it had been slashed straight through. A few more minutes and she would have bled out completely.

"There's no time to wait for a bus. We've gotta take her in our car," Officer Maloney called to her partner who had just come back into the room. Jennifer Maloney had only been a police officer for a little over three months. She had never seen anything like this, except on TV, and she was trying hard not to lose control.

"Hurry!" She shouted at him, pulling her uniform shirt off and pressing it against the victim's throat in an attempt to slow the bleeding. She felt her face burn realizing too late what she had on underneath. She hadn't had time to do the laundry this week, so she had thrown on the only thing in her drawer and headed in to work, a little t-shirt her boyfriend had given to her as a gag gift. The t-shirt had the words 'cuff me, I'm a cop groupie' scrawled across it. No one batted an eye at the shirt, but she knew that once this was over she'd never hear the end of it.

Her partner lifted the girl effortlessly in his arms, rushing towards the door. Jennifer rushed alongside him, holding the shirt tightly on the wound. "Don't think," he huffed, breathing heavily under the strain of the added weight. "For a second, that we're not gonna talk about that shirt you're wearing," he said with a small smirk.

They reached the squad car and she pulled open the back door, momentarily letting up on the pressure on the wound as she slid inside. Her partner leaned inside, placing the girl on the seat beside her, the victims head lying in her lap. She looked up gravely at her partner, noticing that her breathing was becoming more and more labored. "Hurry."


Olivia stood in the doorway, her eyes traversing the scene in front of her. She had seen a lot of things in her years on the force. And in New York most of those things had been far more gruesome, far more twisted than what she was seeing now. But none of them cut quite so swiftly to her heart.

She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, her world spinning away beneath her feet. She felt the bile rise in her throat, and her legs trembled with the strain of keeping her standing. Then she felt him beside her, his strong presence settling over her in a sudden wave of peace. His hand touched her shoulder and she leaned into him without even thinking, sinking into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. It scared her to think how dependant she was on him, how much she needed him especially now. She pulled herself reluctantly away from him, immediately feeling the world grow a little colder.

"I just heard from the officers that took Melissa to the hospital," Elliot said trying to ignore the ache of loss he'd been experiencing since she pulled away from him. "She's in surgery right now. But the doctors think her chances look good."

Olivia felt a small sense of relief hearing his words. "Good," she nodded slowly, her eyes once again taking in the crime scene. "That's good," she murmured her eyes drowning in the blood that covered the floor. Elliot stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the living room.

"I've got some officers canvassing the neighborhood just in case Riccoli is still around here somewhere," Elliot said, his eyes searching hers out. Olivia couldn't look at him, she could feel the tears surfacing again and she didn't want him to see how much this was affecting her.

She tried to pinpoint the moment, the exact second when she'd started letting her emotions get the best of her. She knew what Huang would say, 'It's healthy to feel this way. You experienced a significant trauma when you were abducted, and you haven't really had time to heal properly. Give it some time.' But time was something she couldn't afford right now. She needed to find Riccoli. She couldn't rest until she did.

"Liv? Are you alright?" He asked touching her shoulder gently.

Olivia shook herself out of her reverie and glanced up at him. "I'm gonna go help with the search," she said sidestepping the question, pulling away from him. She turned quickly on her heel and walked purposefully out the door and into the bright afternoon sun.


Riccoli crouched in one corner of the condemned house he'd stumbled into, his leg throbbing from the strain of moving it so quickly.

The house had seen better days. Though chipped and peeling now you could still see the elegant designs that had once adorned the walls of the sagging front room. The entire house smelled of mold and decay, the stench of filth hung heavily in the air. He scrunched up his nose, the odor saturating the air around him, suffocating him in its intensity.

Riccoli tried to concentrate, pushing aside the foul stench in the air around him and the intense stomach churning pain in his leg. He knew it was only a matter of time before the police surrounded him, there was no way that he could hope to out run them. He needed another way out, another plan.

He knew without a doubt that his Olivia would be out there, searching aggressively for him. The guilt that ate at her would be insatiable by now, all the voices of his victims crying out inside her, eating away at her until there was nothing left for her to cling to. She wouldn't stop until she found him.

But for the first time in his entire life he had no plan. The thought shook him to his very core, shivers echoed down his spine. He'd always had a plan. Always knew just what was going to happen.

Until now.

Until her.

A thought sparked in his mind, a tiny flicker of a growing inferno, the blaze burning through his blood. He'd been arrogant, too assured in his own talents. And he had been punished for his vanity. Determination flickered in his eyes, a resolve more powerful than anything he'd ever known swept over him. She was the ultimate test, his final judgment.

'Olivia.'

She would be his greatest victory.

Or she would spell his doom.


It seemed like a lifetime passed as he searched for Olivia. He ducked down a small alleyway between two derelict houses, his eyes scanning the area. Elliot was kicking himself for letting her get so far away from him. He should have gone after her the second she spun away from him and headed out to join the search for Riccoli. But he was momentarily floored by the vulnerability and torment he'd seen in her as their eyes briefly locked.

She was spinning out of control; he could see it on her face. He felt it every time she avoided his gaze. He had been through it countless times. He knew he would've fallen victim to it, he would have listened to Kathy's well intended urgings to take reassignment, if not for Liv. And it would have been the biggest mistake of his life. He couldn't imagine doing anything else. Olivia was what had pulled him back from the unthinkable every time.

Elliot felt a small twinge of guilt that it wasn't his wife who had saved him, who had been there for him when he needed it most. A momentary longing for days gone by rushed through him. Kathy had been everything to him once. Hadn't she?

She had given him four beautiful children who he loved more than his life. And she had tried, God she had tried, to understand everything he went through everyday. She'd tried to comfort him, tried to salve the terrible anguish that punished him too often after the depravities of the world had preyed on an innocent child.

Kathy hadn't known. There was no way she could have. He couldn't explain it to her. He couldn't bring himself to darken her world, not even to save himself from the abyss.

Olivia had known. Without words, without explanations, she had just known. She had been there when he needed her. She hadn't tried to fix anything. She hadn't backed down when he pushed, instead pushing him back. She had unknowingly given him back the light, hauling him up from the void he'd plunged into; his world began to fill with hope again. And he loved her. Before he knew what was happening. Before his head had filled in what his heart already knew so well.

Elliot was so consumed in his thoughts that he never saw it coming. The sound of labored breathing reached his ears a fraction too late. Something hard and heavy struck him, the blow glancing off the side of his face as he tried to face his attacker. It felt like he was trying to move through heavy water, his arms and legs refused to cooperate with his desire to defend himself.

Elliot sank to the ground, his legs betraying him. His head fell heavily onto the hard cement and he felt nothingness creeping through his body, his eyes threatening a betrayal of their own. He felt an overwhelming surge of alarm settle over him.


Olivia leaned against the wall, silent tears shuddering inside her with each hurried breath. It was all around her now. The pain, the torment Riccoli had inflicted. She felt the victims' pain surge through her, all of their torment and fear overwhelming her.

How was she supposed to live with it? How was she supposed to go on everyday knowing that she was the reason? She was why he had gone after them. How was she supposed to ever be okay with that?

Her cell rang and she pushed herself off the wall, pulling the phone from her pocket. "Benson," she answered, her voice tired and weary. She listened silently for a few minutes. "Thanks for letting me know," she whispered before ending the call. "Thank God," she whispered to herself, a tear escaping her tightly closed eyes. She had never been so happy to receive a call from the hospital.

Melissa Bregman had pulled through.


Riccoli looked on with immense satisfaction as his eyes fought to stay open. Olivia's partner struggled to get to his feet, never making it more than an inch or two off the ground before falling back.

"Detective," he clucked, a smile creasing his face. "I expected better from you. I thought you'd at least be good for a decent fight. Your partner put up more of a struggle," Riccoli taunted. "Don't tell me a bitch has more fight in her than a big strong cop like you."

Elliot's head felt like it was about to explode, Riccoli's words echoing hollowly in his ears. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Soon he would lose whatever semblance of consciousness that he was clinging to.

Elliot used every bit of strength he could and pulled himself unsteadily to his feet, swaying precariously. His entire body was screaming at him to just give up, to lie down and let the inky blackness envelop him. He shook his head, trying to clear it of the webs of shadows that clogged his vision.

"I'm gonna kill you," Elliot promised, the sound ringing in his ears sounding impossibly far away.

Riccoli smiled at him, the image growing fuzzier in Elliot's eyes with each passing minute. Elliot clenched his fists tightly against his sides, knowing he wasn't going to get many chances he had to make sure that each punch landed. He feigned stumbling, his eyes locked on Riccoli. Riccoli fell for the act, moving in to kick him when he fell. Elliot saw his chance, the perfect opening, and he took it landing a solid jab to Riccoli's mid-section. All of his fury and fear tunneled into that punch, knocking Riccoli back several feet.

Riccoli slammed into the warped siding of the nearby house making a noise loud enough to draw attention. His leg twisted under him and he howled from the pain that throbbed through him.

Riccoli got back on his feet quicker than Elliot anticipated and charged at him, carrying him several feet back and slamming him into the brick wall of the house next door. His hands wrapped around Elliot's neck and tightened.

Elliot fought as hard as he could, drawing on every ounce of strength he had left in him. He brought his arms up, curling his hands into fists he landed a solid left hook to Riccoli's face. But Riccoli was like a demon possessed, fueled by an unholy strength. His hands tightened around Elliot's throat, he pulled Elliot away from the wall only to slam his head back into the brick.

Elliot felt oblivion slide over him. He felt Riccoli pull him off the wall again. He knew the next hit would crush his skull.

'Liv.'

He wanted to see her, one last time, to know she was going to be okay. He wanted that more than his next breath. He heard an evil laugh, heard Riccoli tell him he'd take care of Liv for him, and just as he was slipping into nothingness he heard a shot ring out.


Olivia stood at the mouth of the alley, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She'd heard sounds of a struggle and took off like a shot, her instincts telling her to run as fast as she could. Everything moved in slow motion as her eyes adjusted to the shadows that had descended on the small alleyway between two rundown houses.

When she saw Riccoli her hand reached immediately for her weapon. She saw him struggling with someone, but she couldn't see who it was. She raised her weapon, aiming it at his back, and called out for him to stop. It didn't seem like he'd heard her at all, his hands tightening around his victim's throat. He pulled back and moved to slam the person against the wall and Olivia fired.

The gunshot echoed through the abandoned neighborhood like an atomic explosion. She just kept seeing the faces of the victims. Her mind kept replaying the videotape Riccoli had left behind for her. Riccoli turned to her, his eyes fixed on her face.

"Olivia?" He asked, shock registering on his face. He moved towards her and she fired again, this time hitting him in the stomach. Blood poured from the new wound, a red fountain slowly oozing from beneath his skin. He fell to the ground and she moved forward with cat like speed, time bounding back to its normal velocity, her gun still aimed at Riccoli. She glanced over at his prey, now lying on the ground motionless, and her heart stopped.

'Elliot.'

"God," she breathed, sinking to her knees next to him dropping her gun beside her. She pressed her hand to the side of his neck, praying to every deity she had ever heard of to let her find a pulse. She breathed a small sigh, her eyes sliding shut. He was still alive. Her eyes snapped open and traveled over him, surveying the damage. He was bleeding steadily from a nasty gash on the side of his head, and angry red marked his throat where Riccoli had tried to strangle him.

She pulled her radio off her belt and called for help, telling dispatch they had an officer down in need of immediate medical attention. Then she looked around for something to use to put pressure on his wound, her eyes landing on Riccoli. His eyes were glassy, his vision fixed. He was so still Olivia couldn't tell whether he was dead or alive.

"You'll always be mine," Riccoli whispered suddenly, his eyes locking with hers. Blood trickled from between his lips, his teeth red and slick with blood. "I'll never be gone," he gasped beginning to wheeze. His lips formed a twisted smile. "Never," he whispered as his eyes slithered shut.

She heard the sound of feet pounding on the cement, the distinctive sound of radio chatter, and in the distance the unmistakable sound of an approaching siren.


"He's stable." The doctor looked at her, his eyes taking in her disheveled clothing and wide eyes. Her face was stained with tears, and she looked like she was barely able to keep herself standing.

The doctor spoke to her carefully. Always a bad sign. "Just tell me," she said solemnly. "Whatever it is, just say it."

The doctor sighed, nodding. "Your partner suffered several minor factures to the skull. A few cracked ribs. And there was some internal bleeding but we've got that under control now. However there's really no way to know the affects of the head trauma until he regains consciousness," the doctor paused letting his words sink in. "Which he hasn't yet."

"Is that unusual?" She asked feeling her chest constrict painfully.

The doctor shook his head. "Not necessarily. We just need to monitor him closely over the next few hours. We'll know more soon."

Olivia sat beside him, the room dark except the small light of the moon that filtered through barely parted curtains. She could just make out the shape of his body lying so still on the hospital bed. She had stayed with him through everything, her heart twisting more with each passing hour of silent immobility. The doctors were starting to get worried. She could see it in their carefully neutral expressions; she heard it in every cautiously worded platitude.

Olivia heard the door open and before she could speak or move her eyes exploded, the overhead light filling the room with blinding white light. She groaned and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "Damn it," she swore under her breath.

"Sorry."

Olivia froze. She knew that voice. It was the last voice she had expected to hear. The last voice she wanted to hear. She opened her eyes quickly, wincing as the light invaded her eyes.

"I didn't know anyone else was in here," Kathy said looking annoyed that she'd been wrong. "How is he?" She asked making her way over to Elliot's side.

"The doctors think they've stopped the bleeding. We won't know the extent of the damage done until he wakes up. So it's just a waiting game right now," Olivia said getting to her feet. "I'm sorry I didn't call you. I wasn't sure if I should. I thought with all you and Elliot have been going through with the divorce right now it might be a little awkward."

Kathy looked over at her, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Didn't Elliot tell you that he asked to move back home?"

Olivia felt like the ground had disappeared beneath her feet and she was free falling. She couldn't speak, couldn't move. Her heart fell silent, her blood freezing in her veins. "No, he didn't."

"We've decided to give it another try. Twenty years of marriage isn't something you just walk away from," she said watching Olivia's reaction carefully. Olivia stood silent, her eyes trained on Kathy, unblinking. "Well, thank you for staying with him. I'll let him know you were here," Kathy said sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand closing around his. "Would you send the doctor in on your way out?" She asked turning away from Olivia, her gaze concentrated only on Elliot.

Olivia felt her words sting as if her hand had reached out and branded them across her face. "Sure," she said turning towards the door. She heard Kathy's words echo through her mind, felt them burn across her body until she was consumed by the flames. It couldn't be true. He would have told her. Wouldn't he?

"Liv."

Olivia froze, her breath catching in her throat. She turned slowly, scanning his face for alertness. He opened his eyes, squinting against the light. "Liv?" He croaked again.

"I'm here," Olivia said standing her ground. She found herself suddenly wanting to hold his hand, the desire overwhelming and surprising to her. She was so confused right now. She didn't know what to believe. She glanced up to see Kathy watching her, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits as she watched Olivia.

"It's so bright in here," Elliot groaned, fighting to keep his eyes open against the blinding light. Olivia walked over and clicked on the lamp beside the bed, walking quickly back to turn off the overhead light.

"Elliot," Kathy said, drawing his attention to her.

Olivia watched as Elliot opened his eyes fully, his gaze resting on his wife. "Kathy."

One word. That's all it took for her world to come crashing in. Clarity most unkind.

Kathy.

His wife.

Olivia watched as Kathy smiled down at him, her hand reaching up to caress his face lovingly, holding his gaze with a small smile.

Olivia cleared her throat. "I'm just going to go get the doctor," she said, her voice faltering slightly.

Elliot heard the tremor in her voice, a sound so small no one else would have heard it. It was a sound that sent tremors straight to his heart. He turned his head quickly, immediately regretting the quick movement..

"Liv," he began, his head pounding from moving it so quickly.

She shook her head, cutting him off with just a look. Not trusting herself to speak she grabbed the handle and made a hasty retreat. She didn't stop walking until she made it to the elevator, slipping inside just as the doors were sliding shut.


Elliot stared after her. His heart feeling like it was ready to jump out of his chest and run after her. He turned his gaze slowly back to his wife.

Kathy watched, her eyes wide with fear and shock, her mouth slightly open. Her greatest nightmare unfolded in front of her eyes.

She knew the words, even before he spoke them. She'd heard them enough times in the moments before she'd shake the remnants of nightmares that had plagued her sleep from her mind.

She had tried to push the thoughts away. Thoughts that told her while she was sleeping alone, he was with her. Always with her. She tried to tell herself that it was just paranoia. That Elliot loved her. But deep down she knew this day was coming. This day had stalked her for nearly four years.

"Kathy, we need to talk."


Olivia couldn't bring herself to go back to the hospital. She couldn't face Elliot yet. She couldn't be his friend, not now. She didn't have the strength to stand by and smile and tell him how happy she was for him that he was going home.

She needed to get her mind off of Elliot. She sighed and picked up the paperwork on her desk, shuffling through it. Her eyes landed on the DD5 that had started it all. Sara Bowman, the only one of Riccoli's victims that had the courage to come forward. She could still hear the girl's whispered recount of how Riccoli had violated her.

"I thought I might find you here." His voice startled her out of her thoughts and she came crashing back to reality.

"What are you doing here Elliot? Shouldn't you be at the hospital?" She asked, her eyes darting up from the paperwork in her hands to look at him.

"They wanted to keep me overnight, but I feel fine so I checked myself out. What are you doing here?" He asked sitting down on the corner of her desk. "I know Cragen hasn't got you back on active duty yet," he said wincing as he readjusted his position.

Olivia looked at him with concern. "Elliot, you should go back to the hospital," she said worriedly.

"Liv. I'm fine."

"Well, then you should go home and get some rest. I'm sure your wife is worried about you. I was just finishing up some paperwork," Olivia said getting to her feet.

"I'm about to head out anyway." She suddenly felt the overwhelming need to get as far away from him as possible.

Elliot looked at her, confusion evident on his face. "What's going on Liv?"

"There's nothing going on Elliot," she said gathering the paperwork into a stack and shoving it to the far corner of her desk. "I'm just tired. I think I'm gonna take Cragen up on his suggestion and just take a few days off," she said glancing up at him, a small smile lifting the corners of her lips. She moved away from him and headed towards the door.

"Night Elliot," she called over her shoulder.

Elliot felt shock and fear settle over him. He hadn't seen the signs the first time, but in the months she had been gone he had seen them all too clearly.

"Are you going to say goodbye this time?" She stopped, frozen halfway between him and freedom.

"Or are you just going to disappear again?" Olivia heard him get to his feet. She could feel his eyes on her.

She turned around to face him, their eyes locking instantly. "Elliot, that's not…," she began.

"Do you know what it was like?" He asked quietly, silencing her denial. "I must've dialed your number a hundred times. Each time hearing that recording, praying that it was a mistake," he admitted.

"Then Cragen told me I was getting a new partner, and I knew it wasn't."

She heard the hurt in his voice; she felt every ache she knew she had caused. "Elliot," she whispered, feeling every word pierce her heart, tears forming in her eyes.

"I tried for so long, to deny it. I kept it all inside, and it almost destroyed me. When you left I lost more than my partner and my best friend. I was lost. Without you I was lost," Elliot confessed, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. But the biggest mistake was not telling you how I feel. Liv, I lo…"

"Elliot, don't do this," she begged, cutting him off. She tore her eyes from his, tears sliding silently down her face. Her heart ached with misery.

"Don't say something that you can't take back. Kathy told me you're going to give your marriage another try and I'm happy for you El," she said with a weak smile.

Elliot stared at her, his expression confused and angry, his eyes narrowed. "You talked to Kathy?"

It hurt to breathe, to think, to move. It felt like her body had been drained of life. She nodded, feeling the motion resonate through her entire body. "I need to go," she said, turning away and walking out before he could object. She made it out into the hallway before she felt his hands land on her arms, turning her around to face him.

"I told Kathy to go ahead with the divorce," he said quickly before she could speak.

She looked at him in shocked silence. "Why?"

"Because I love you Liv. I've loved you for so long. And I can't hide from it anymore. I don't want to run from it anymore," he said softly. "Do you?"

Olivia felt weak, her knees trembling dangerously. Her heart leapt treacherously at his words, his question knocking the breath out of her lungs. She was caught in a whirlwind of emotions, trapped between happiness and fear.

This would change everything. No matter what happened now, there was no going back.

And the fear that this was a mistake that could cost her everything was overwhelming.

Elliot's eyes searched hers, and she felt everything else dissolve away. This wasn't a decision she had to make.

"I'm not running anymore," she promised shaking her head, her hand slowly making its way up to cup his cheek in her hand. She looked into his eyes and whispered, "I love you."


Hope you liked it! As always, please review