Number of words: 3,945
Published date: September 30, 2012
Began chapter: September 24, 2012
Finished chapter: September 30, 2012
Chapter 9: Inside the Belly
"Good morning, Mother!"
Those words were ones Ms. Bradley had heard almost every day since Selim had grown old enough to talk, and she began to respond in kind automatically, but her voice hitched for a moment at the unfamiliar voice which spoke them.
"Good morning, Sel- Gluttony," she said, injecting as much warmth into the greeting as she could.
The round man standing in the kitchen doorway returned her smile with a cheerful grin and joined her at the table.
It was her second morning home. The previous day, she had spoken to all of Selim's siblings, even if only briefly (as with Sloth) or uncomfortably (as with Envy) – except one. The only person she hadn't spoken to was Gluttony, who had remained glued to Lust's hip after breakfast for pretty much the whole day. And Lust had retired to the study for long into the afternoon, absorbed in the newspapers Selim had saved from the past several years and so intently focused that Ms. Bradley hadn't felt bold enough to interrupt her. Gluttony, she had seen from the hall, had remained sitting on the floor beside Lust's chair. He held no book. He didn't say anything. He simply sat with one finger in his mouth, looking vacantly at the wall with not a hint of boredom or impatience, as if perfectly content to do nothing more than sit by his sister's side.
Even though she hadn't spent any time with him yet, going by his enthusiastic and accepting hug upon meeting her, Lily already felt that this would be an easy relationship to build.
"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.
Ms. Bradley sighed at the recipe book open in front of her.
"I'm trying to get some ideas for breakfast," she said, "but I'm having a hard time. I'm not a very good cook, but it's not fair for me to let Alphonse do all the work. He's supposed to be a guest, and yet he's the one making all the meals!" She couldn't rely on the younger Elric brother forever; she knew the boys intended to leave at the end of the week, and then it would all be on her to feed everyone.
"What do you think?" she asked Gluttony. "Is there anything you'd like?"
She spun the book around on the table and slid it across for the bald man to look at. The book was open to a glossy page picturing a glass of some thick orange-coloured juice, a bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with nuts, and a scrambled egg dish of some sort. The food looked perfect and delicious and, for all she knew, was probably staged plastic.
For a second, Gluttony looked stumped, as if being asked his opinion on something was an extraordinary event, but then he grinned again and pulled the book the rest of the way across the table, turning his beady eyes to the picture. His thick fingers struggled with flipping the pages and he skipped the recipe pages entirely, looking only at the pictures. Well, wasn't it natural for a person to flip through a recipe book and only look at the pictures? She had started off doing the exact same thing.
She waited for him to go through all the pictures before making her own suggestion.
"I was thinking that muffins might not be too hard to make." She flipped back to the specific page and pointed. "And I could probably make a simple omelette. What do you think? Does that sound good?"
He nodded eagerly.
"Would you like to help me?"
She didn't expect the offer to be that big of a deal, but Gluttony looked up with a fair degree of astonishment, almost as if overcome by the gesture. But in the next moment, he twiddled his thumbs shyly.
"I-I want to help, but I never…"
"You've never cooked before?" she guessed.
"Uh-huh." He looked down in embarrassment. "I'm not smart like Lust and Pride. Not fast like Envy and Greed. Not strong like Sloth. I'm only good at eating. And smelling. I'll just get in the way…"
"Nonsense!" Ms. Bradley declared firmly, rising from the table and waving for him to do the same. "I barely know what I'm doing either! We can learn together, all right? And I'll teach you what little I know!"
And with her declaration brooking no argument, that was exactly what they did.
Amidst the general interruptions inherent in the act of preparing a meal, Ms. Bradley took this perfect opportunity to learn as much about Gluttony and his siblings as she could.
The recipe book rested on the table, pages propped open by a big mug and empty vase. Containers, cartons, and jars of ingredients were spread out on the counter along with bowls and measuring spoons in a parody of organization. They both washed their hands, and she tied a simple handkerchief around her head to keep her hair from falling down into her face. She also found an extra apron in the linen closet, and although it was far too small to wrap around Gluttony's large stomach (She left it untied and the strings trailed by his feet.), at least it would help keep his clothes clean. The black skin-tight suit wasn't as unflattering as might be expected, but it would still need to be replaced if he wanted to look semi-normal and until such replacements were made, it was all he had to wear.
She read the instructions aloud.
"Let's see now… 'Grease muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners. Cream butter and sugar with mixer until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Add berries and beat until smooth. Mix together flour, salt, baking power, and baking soda. Stir flour mixture into butter mixture until dry ingredients are moistened, then gently stir in chopped nuts. Spoon into muffin cups or liners.' All right, this doesn't sound too hard. First, let's find the muffin tray."
She described what it looked like to Gluttony and the two of them searched through the cupboards. Alphonse probably could have found it much quicker, seeing as how the boy seemed to know her kitchen better than she did, but eventually they found it.
"We'll probably need a double batch," she thought out loud. "Maybe even a triple batch. Okay, Gluttony, you can grease the pan and I'll start measuring ingredients."
She brought out the butter and demonstrated with the first muffin cup, showing him how to coat it smoothly and evenly around the bottom and edges. Despite his fear over never having done it before, he did a good job and finished before she'd measured everything, so she set him on the dry ingredients, showing him how to use the measuring cups and spoons, tripling the amount and checking each item for him. A few minutes later and he was happily beating the wet ingredients while she pre-heated the oven and began preparations for the omelettes.
"So, Gluttony, can you tell me a bit about your family?" He had seemed eager enough to talk about them before. "You seem really close to Lust."
"Uh-huh. Lust is really nice. And smart. She's always taken care of me. She makes sure I don't eat too much. Sometimes, if I do a good job, she gives me an extra snack."
Ms. Bradley nodded and hummed encouragingly for him to continue, though she couldn't help but think, I'm not sure Lust did a very good job on that front…
"Envy looks out for me too, but he's not as nice as Lust."
She didn't need Gluttony to tell her that.
"Sloth was always digging, so I didn't see him very much. Greed is nice, but he left a long time ago, so I didn't get to see him until Wrath found him and brought him back. And then Father created him again and he had to guard our home with the other Guardians, so I didn't see him very often. Wrath was nice, but he and Pride had to live with the humans, so I didn't see them very much either."
There were too many points in that statement for Ms. Bradley to know which question to ask first. What was Sloth always digging, and for what reason? Why did Greed leave? Who was Wrath? Who was Father? The Guardians? Pride? She felt fairly certain that 'Pride' was Selim's siblings' name for him, going by how Envy had spoken to Selim using that name the previous day. What did it mean, Wrath and Pride 'had to live with the humans'?
There was so much she didn't know, so much she hadn't been told. As Edward and Alphonse felt, it was for her own good. Selim also didn't want her to know too much; knowing would just upset her, he thought. But she didn't even know how ignorant she was! This was supposed to be a fresh start for his family, but what of their past was harmless and what was treading into dangerous territory? How did they expect her to interact with them without knowing anything about their personal histories? It was a frustrating situation to be in.
Gluttony's details were neither insightful nor informative, and Ms. Bradley suspected that his answers would remain confusing even if she tried to dig for more details. So she gave that topic up and switched to more personal things.
"Do you have a favourite food, Gluttony?" she asked.
Her head just happened to be turned in Gluttony's direction and so she saw the grin that spread across his face when he answered:
"Girls!"
She didn't understand. What does he mean by girls...? He can't mean-! Her lack of understanding quickly changed to horror, especially when Gluttony elaborated.
"Girls are better than men. They're softer and tastier!"
There were two levels of shock to his declaration:
The first, the very idea that he had eaten – and enjoyed eating! – humans.
The second, that he said it without even the slightest hint of embarrassment or shame.
Gluttony continued to grin at her innocently and Ms. Bradley didn't know what to do. She felt cold. Was this some sort of joke? If it was, it was past time for him to pull the punch line and it was hardly the joke a sane person would make. Envy seemed disturbed on some level, but what if Gluttony was unstable in a different way? If he was serious, would he get it into his head that she was a girl and so would make a yummy meal?
"Gluttony, what are you doing?"
Selim, voice sharp, stood in the kitchen doorway. Ms. Bradley snapped out of her horrified paralysis and watched as her little boy approached his rotund brother, who shrank back almost fearfully.
"Can't you tell that you are scaring Mother?" Selim asked angrily. "Humans are not food. You will not think of them as such. You will not talk about such things again. Understand?"
Yes, there was no question; Gluttony was scared, gulping and nodding quickly.
"Yes, Pride… Sorry…"
Selim glared for a few more seconds, as if making absolutely certain that Gluttony understood the seriousness of his order, then turned back to Ms. Bradley with his regular beaming smile. He didn't seem to realize that it took her a few moments to recover not only because of Gluttony's words, but also due to her son's rapid change in manner. Truly, his tone had been menacing; she didn't blame Gluttony at all for backing up. Lily logically knew, based on the Elrics' story, that there was a side to her son that she'd never seen, but she had pushed that fact to the back of her mind, preferring not to think about it. And now, here was disturbing proof of his other side.
"Good morning, Mother! Don't mind Gluttony; he was just joking. What are you making? Can I help?"
She gave a dazed shake of her head, returned Selim's smile, and responded, "We're making muffins and omelettes, and of course you can help. Want to chop the vegetables for me?" She set him up at the table with a cutting board and knife (making sure to keep an eye out that he was being careful), then checked on where Gluttony was with the muffins.
It was time to add the dry ingredients. Gluttony followed her directions, but his large hands trembled around the mixing bowl and he kept darting glances back at Selim, his back hunching defensively every time he looked around. Selim remained oblivious to his nervousness, happily humming at the table as he chopped. Concerned by the large man's unease, Ms. Bradley stayed by his side, chopping the nuts as he stirred. He also became noticeably clumsier, dropping his spoon twice.
It was a sad thing to watch. He had been so enthusiastic and cheerful before, and now… Selim's words had been bossy and firm, but was so much fear really warranted…?
Once the dough was ready and the first batch spooned into the tray and put in the oven, Ms. Bradley kindly thanked Gluttony for his help and suggested that he go see if Lust was awake. He didn't catch on that she made the suggestion as an excuse for him, but nodded and left with a grateful expression all the same, and Lily made a mental note to keep an eye on her son and his brother. There was something else going on that she couldn't see and she intended to get to the bottom of it.
"Envy, you look like something a chimera dragged in. You do know you're not supposed to wear your clothes to bed, right?"
"Huh?"
Lust tsked and rolled her eyes.
"I know you're not used to wearing real clothes, but have you even looked in the mirror? If you put off brushing your hair any longer, we're going to have to chop half of it off to get rid of the tangles. I know you could just shape-shift those things away before, but honestly, how can you not know-"
"Aw, shut up, Lust. And don't you dare try to cut my hair!"
Envy tugged at a handful of long spiky hair irritably, trying to rake his fingers through it in a vain attempt at tidying himself up. A short look down confirmed that his skirt and tank top were wrinkled and twisted and he tugged at those as well, growling under his breath.
"Gah, I don't know how you humans can stand this stuff! Whoever invented clothing anyway? If you all weren't so fragile, it wouldn't even be needed!"
Ed looked on with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't get it. Haven't you always worn clothing?"
"No," Envy replied empathically. "Oh, come on! You saw me change shape! Can't you figure it out yourself?"
"... Wait, if the clothing was actually a part of your body… That means you were actually naked?"
Envy sighed at Ed's incredulous tone.
"Why should I even be surprised that that's the first thing you think of? Geez, you humans have such one-track minds! If you want to be technical, then yes, I was naked. Big deal."
He paused as Greed snorted loudly across the table, and his glare only served to increase his brother's amusement. It definitely sounded insulting, but Greed was laughing so hard that he couldn't even explain what exactly he found so funny.
Envy struggled to continue in a dignified tone, nearly impossible with Greed gasping for breath across from him. Well, at least there was one thing he was more mature about than his avaricious older brother. Greed had a one-track mind too. I want money and women and sex and blah blah blah, we get it, Greed, we don't care…
"It's hardly my fault that humans are so embarrassed by their bodies that not having clothing is such a horrible thing. Whatever. I was technically 'naked' in my true form too and you never cared then. All I'm saying is that it sucks to be wearing the stuff."
Actually, there was a lot that Envy wasn't used to yet, hair brushing and unruly clothing being the least of it. He squirmed in his chair and sent another dirty look at Greed, who was only just beginning to catch his breath. Five boring days and he still felt weird in his new skin. The body was so light and small and weak. He'd always watched the way he walked, keeping his steps light, for even though he'd been able to regulate his weight somewhat using the Stone's power, it could only do so much. No reason to make people suspicious of him when they felt his footsteps sending tremors through the floor, but now, there was none of that. He felt silly, catching himself treading lightly in an old habit that was no longer necessary. Sometimes, when he saw Ms. Bradley or one of the Elrics, he caught himself quickly reviewing his appearance, preparing to switch to another body before they saw him. And of course it didn't matter anymore because they knew who he was and he couldn't change anyway, but the instincts of nearly two centuries weren't so easy to suppress.
"Ms. Bradley, are you all right? You're not eating," Alphonse asked with concern.
Envy glanced down at the old woman. He hadn't been alone with her since the previous day and was quite pleased by that. His words had had the exact effect he'd been aiming for: Ms. Bradley distinctly seemed to be trying to avoid him. He hadn't been lying. He couldn't kill her, or at least he had little doubt that if he did, the repercussions from Ed and Pride would be less than pleasant. But hell, the last thing he wanted was to spend time with a filthy human. Hopefully he'd scared her enough that it would be months before she stopped going pale when she saw him.
Speaking of which, she was looking slightly pale now, wrinkles more pronounced as she started up at Alphonse's voice wearing a deep-in-thought frown.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Alphonse. I'm fine. I was just wondering… But I'm not sure if I should ask… and I'm afraid the answer might be something I don't want to hear…"
"What is it, Mother?" Pride asked.
"Ah, well…" Ms. Bradley still hesitated and looked around the table at each of them in turn. "I was wondering if… Um…" She visibly steeled herself, then blurted out, "Do you all- I mean, is all of your favourite food… girls?"
Six sets of eyebrows shot up and Pride sent a sharp look down the table at Gluttony, who made a laughable attempt to hide his bulk behind Lust. At least it wasn't too hard to guess at where she had come up with that idea. Clearly their tubby brother had said something he shouldn't have.
"Eww, no!" Greed exclaimed with a rather disgusted look. "Where'd you get an idea like that?"
"I assure you, Gluttony's tastes are… unique... among us. We ate the same food as any human," Lust hastened to assure her.
"Besides," Envy interjected with a broad smirk, "humans are so messy to eat! They're hardly worth the effort-" He stopped when Lust looked at him in exasperation.
"You know, would it kill you to keep your mouth shut instead of making matters worse?" she hissed at him. He merely grinned and shrugged.
Come on, Lust. Don't spoil my fun! I'm just playing around. It's not my fault if she believes me.
Ms. Bradley looked somewhat relieved by their quick denial.
"Then, what are your favourite foods?" she asked curiously. "It would be nice to have some meals that I could-"
Envy scoffed.
"Please! How are we supposed to have a favourite food when we didn't need to eat?"
"You- You didn't need to eat?" Ms. Bradley repeated in surprise.
"Don't be stupid, Envy," Pride reprimanded. "Of course we had to eat! Stop lying about everything."
Envy winced at Pride's tone and backpedaled.
"Well, okay, technically we would have starved to death if we didn't eat, but the Stone would have just brought us back to life, so it hardly makes any difference-"
Pride interrupted even more curtly than last time.
"And I told you yesterday not to mention things like that. Mother doesn't need to know about it."
"Fine, sorry, Selim." He bit the name off like a curse.
Ms. Bradley looked between the two uncertainly, but she didn't let the question go, turning to Lust instead.
"So… Do you not have a favourite either, dear?"
Lust thought for a moment and then shrugged.
"I can't say I do," she admitted. "However, you're mistaken; Envy has a favourite, but he just won't admit it."
"Oh really?"
"Hey!" Envy protested. "Shut up, Lust! That's none of her business!"
She ignored him. "You'd never tell looking at him, but Envy has a real sweet tooth, especially for chocolate."
"No I don't!" he growled, feeling his face grow red in embarrassment, especially when Ed gave a short laugh. Damn it all, he couldn't shape-shift the blood away from his face to prevent the blush, either. Lust had no right telling them that!
Ms. Bradley merely smiled lightly and turned to Sloth.
"How about you, dear? Do you have a favourite food?"
Her efforts to include him were wasted, of course. Sloth looked at her blankly for a moment, then answered in his sluggish monotone, "No… Don't have a… favourite food."
Lust filled in the blanks for Pride's mother.
"Sloth's food came from the military cafeteria, so he never had an opportunity to pick a favourite."
"Oh." She looked fairly disappointed by the poor responses.
Greed seemed to agree with her. He shook his head at them in disgust.
"I can't believe you guys! If none of you have favourites, then I'll be happy to help you out, Ma'am. I love chicken and steak and pork – actually, any meat's good – and noodles, the spicier the better. Gotta' have beer with your food. Barbecue's good too, oh, and grilled kebobs and roasts. I never had a burger I didn't like. And- What? What're you looking at me like that for?"
Everyone was staring at him, even Sloth. Lust and Pride and Envy gaped at the list and Gluttony had begun to water at the mouth with each named dish. Alphonse's laughter was somewhat more restrained, but Edward was practically on the floor, clutching his sides.
"I can't… I can't believe… you inherited it!... That dumb prince's… bottomless appetite!"
"Hey, I can't help it!" Greed protested weakly, holding up his hands with a lopsided grin. "It's not my fault Ling has a voracious appetite! An hour after eating and he'd start pestering me! I tell you, he's got Gluttony beat! If I didn't give him more food, he wouldn't stop whining!"
"You don't need to tell me that!" Ed choked out. "He became Emperor and the moocher still hasn't paid me back for the meals he stuck on me! When you get to Xing, make sure to get the money he owes me!"
And then the two of them started laughing again, joking about the Xingese brat who had so messed with their plans. Envy scowled. Not only had the kid humiliated him in the woods by beating him so easily, but he had provided the body for Greed to be reborn a second time. Just so he could betray them again.
Those were the reasons he said to himself, but honestly, Envy just found it annoying that the two of them were enjoying themselves and joking when he wasn't a part of it.
Author's Notes:
Gluttony's favourite food: They chopped this detail out of Brotherhood. In the manga, while Wrath and Gluttony are tracking Ling and Lan Fan, Wrath tells Gluttony to take care of Scar and leave the foreigners to him. Gluttony sort of protests at this, saying he wants to keep following the girl (Lan Fan). Wrath says something like, "Oh, you like girls?" and Gluttony responds with a yes, drooling and claiming they taste best because they're softer. Wrath's expression in that panel is priceless, but there is canon proof that Gluttony prefers eating women over men.
Envy's favourite food: It is a fairly well-known piece of trivia from the game Fullmetal Alchemist: Dream Carnival that Envy enjoys chocolate parfaits. I've never played the game, but everyone loves to play with that little tidbit. There's something ironic about the skinniest Homunculus enjoying sweet and fattening foods.
